AN: It feels really good to be back with a multi-chapter Puckleberry fic! I've missed these two swimming around my head! This story is the crack combination of the movie 'He's Just Not That Into You' and the new Taylor Swift album. Neither of which I own!
This story is going to include a little bit of everything (pairing wise) although not all of them will be romantic and the main pairing is most definitely Puckleberry.
Alright enough from me! R&R please :)
Quinn had chosen the most beautiful October day for her wedding. The weather was perfect, not a single cloud in the sky. It wasn't cold, in fact in it was unseasonably warm and there was a soft breeze blowing through as all the bridesmaids and the bride gathered inside a room inside the tiny church on Bellevue Road. When she had realized that the weather would be warmer, Quinn immediately called the church to see if they could move the wedding outside. Quinn had always wanted to get married in a church, but she had been contemplating an outdoor wedding until they had decided on an early October date. Now the courtyard outside the church became a perfect mash up of the two.
Rachel was crouched down fussing over Quinn's train while Brittany, Santana, Tina and Mercedes all sat across the room perfecting their make up and hair.
"Rachel," Quinn said turning her upper body to look at Rachel, "its fine."
"I'm sorry," Rachel said standing then moving in front of the bride, "but I'm your maid of honor and I take my job seriously. Even if that means fussing over your train a hundred times."
Quinn reached out and placed her hands on the arms of her best friend. They'd been through so much and some how they found a way to be close. It wasn't easy because despite Rachel's constant kindness of the blonde, Quinn wasn't always the nicest person in return. They were always in competition but sometime junior year they came together in one of those moments where the glee club needed each other and it kind of became pointless to fight her on everything. What was the phrase; if you can't beat them join them? It applied in this situation but a beautiful friendship had grown out of it.
"Just like every other job you've ever had you are taking it way to seriously Rach."
"I just want to make sure you and Sam have the most memorable day," Rachel said smiling at her friend.
"And we will," Quinn said smiling, "So when are you and Puck doing this?"
Rachel rolled her eyes, "Never if I you ask him."
"What?" Tina injected from behind Quinn's large veil.
"Noah doesn't want to get married," Rachel responded.
"Why not? You guys have been together since college," Mercedes said.
"Because he doesn't- Look it's not important today. Today is about our good friend Quinn who is about to marry the boy who she has been in love with since high school."
There were cat calls from behind Quinn but Quinn was giving Rachel the 'we'll talk later' stare and Rachel just smiled and then hugged her best friend. When they pulled away both girls had tears in their eyes. Rachel knew that part of the reason for her tears was the fact that she may never be in Quinn's shoes, the other part was out of genuine happiness for her friend.
"If Kurt has to come in here again and do your make up he's not going to be happy," Mercedes shouted at the two as they helped each other fix each others faces with smiles.
When Kurt did come in a few minutes later he checked over each girl to make sure that they were perfect, especially the bride, and warned them that it was just a few minutes until show time. These girls had done several performances together, won sectional and regional and national titles together, but this was going to be their finest performance, the one that meant more than all the trophies they had won McKinley High School together.
Unfortunately, even though after Quinn had her baby she moved back home with her mother, her father couldn't find it in his heart (or lack there of) to forgive Quinn for her discrepancies as a teenager. They hardly spoke aside from birthdays and Christmas so when Quinn chose not to invite her father to her wedding Rachel had stood by her friend. She knew how difficult a decision it had been for Quinn but when Rachel asked her who she wanted to walk her down the aisle, Rachel wasn't entirely shocked by Quinn's answer. She also wasn't shocked when there was a knock at the door and Will Shuester poked his head inside.
"Everyone decent?" he asked and with six voices saying yes he opened the door all the way and entered, "Kurt said and I quote 'all ladies but Ms. Q to the courtyard pronto.'"
Everyone laughed knowing that Kurt probably was a lot more insistent that that. But walked past their former teacher.
The five bridesmaids joined with the five groomsman and the groom who looked dashing in their tuxes and Rachel felt a hand join in hers and looked up to see the smiling face of her boyfriend of five years, the best man. He looked absolutely stunning in a suit and she smiled back at him. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.
"Have you been crying?" he whispered in her ear before pulling away.
She shook her head, "Well yes. But girls cry at weddings, Noah. Especially when it's their best friend who's getting married."
She wasn't lying, not really. They'd had the conversation several times about marriage. He just didn't want to get married. He'd seen too many marriages go absolutely south, his mother's, Quinn's parents, and he voiced in each of their conversations that he just didn't feel like they needed to ruin what they had. He also voiced each time that just because he didn't want to be married to her didn't mean that he loved her any less, fact he was stunningly confident that it meant that he loved her more. Rachel was still trying to figure out how that translated to the logistics of the situation.
Everyone lined up and the procession music started and Artie and Brittany brought up the front of the line of bridesmaids. Quinn had flipped through countless magazines and done hundreds of internet searches (all with Rachel) and she couldn't find a single style of bridesmaids dresses that she liked. Everything was too ugly or two poofy. So Quinn had called all the bridesmaids over while everyone was in town for the Holidays the year before and they were going to help her. Rachel had been nostalgic that day so she brought over a photo album she had from their days as a glee club and Quinn was going through it making comments about how looking through these made her remember each moment like it was yesterday. She turned the page and practically screamed gathering everyone's attention in the process.
"This is it!" Quinn proclaimed throwing the book down on the coffee table so all of them could see.
It was a picture that had been taken during their sophomore year after they'd done the boys vs. girls mash up project. All the girls were dressed in yellow dresses posed together.
"Mercedes," Quinn said looking at the fashionista who owned her own boutique in Chicago, "do you think you can duplicate these dresses? Just I don't know in a pale pink."
"It'll be my first project when I get back to Chicago," Mercedes said pulling a notebook out of her purse and scribbling something down. "Make sure you email me the picture. I want to print it and frame it."
So now, here they were dressed in Mercedes Jones originals walking down the aisle towards Sam Evans who had stolen their friends heart with a little Avatar speak junior year. Rachel smiled as she walked down the aisle, her arm linked with Puck's. She looked around and observed the people who had gathered for this occasion. There was Carole and Burt, the first wedding Rachel had ever been a part of, Quinn's mom was sitting in the front with a date. Emma was sitting with her and Will's son Eric looking stunning as usual. There were a few girls Rachel recognized who had been Cheerios and others she didn't so she assumed they either worked with Quinn at the school or with Sam. When she reached the alter she parted from Puck who took his place next to Sam.
As the bridal march started Rachel watched as everyone stood up and turned to the back of the courtyard where Quinn and Will stood. Quinn looked stunning and Rachel smiled as Quinn walked down the aisle. She took a moment to look over at Sam (because she'd seen 27 Dresses way too many times with Quinn since she'd gotten engaged) and saw that Sam had a smile brighter than any of Rachel's thousand watt performance smiles. She looked at Puck for a moment and saw that his gaze was on the bride but a moment later he turned his head towards her and winked. She smiled towards him before turning her attention back to her best friend.
Rachel couldn't help the tears that were in her eyes as Quinn and Sam said I Do. Her heart was exploding with happiness for the two and breaking for herself. She hated that today, while she should have been absolutely unbelievably happy for Quinn, she's thinking of herself and what she seems to never be able to have.
Later at the reception Rachel was standing at the edge of the dance floor waiting for Puck to return with her drink while watching Sam and Quinn twirl around the dance floor. They were so unbelievably happy and Rachel thought that it was ironic that once again, Rachel wanted what Quinn had. Except it wasn't a boy, it was a life. She'd always been too afraid to ask but had always wondered where Puck stood with having children. They'd had a scare or two and he seemed to be receptive but after even after so many years she'd never outright asked him if he wanted to have children with her. After everything that happened in high school Rachel didn't know if Puck was ever going to want to plan for children. It was always something that she hoped for for the future and she was to afraid his answer would break her heart. That she would approach the subject only to have him turn her down. It wasn't that he was being vicious, he honestly thought that by not getting married they were preserving their relationship and she loved him for at least caring. But really she wanted everything that came with a marriage; she didn't want to be calling him her boyfriend when she was sixty.
Puck approached her with her drink and wrapped his arm around her waist joining her in watching the couple on the dance floor.
"They're so in love," Rachel said never taking her eyes off the newlyweds.
"So are we," Puck responded.
"I know," Rachel said trying to keep all the daunting feelings she was harboring from coming to the forefront of her mind. If she could just get through this day she knew that she could go back to living her life the way she had for the last five years, "but don't you ever think…"
"Rachel, don't start. Not here." Puck interrupted his voice calm but firm making it clear that he didn't want to have that conversation because it was going to lead to a fight. It always did.
So instead Puck suggested that the two dance instead of standing in the awkward tension they'd created for themselves. And when time came, Puck doesn't catch the garter and Rachel doesn't catch the bouquet, instead Finn and Tina do. Quinn and Sam took off on a week and a half honeymoon in Europe and Rachel and Puck went back to New York, Tina, Mike and Mercedes back to Chicago. Kurt, Santana and Brittany back to L.A.
Quinn wasn't going to be home for a few days but Rachel was sitting at home reading through an email that Quinn had sent her even though she specifically requested that Quinn and Sam take this time for themselves and not worry about things on this side of the Atlantic. There are about fifty pictures that Rachel would go through eventually but she can't get past the fact that Quinn signed the email Quinn Evans. She closed the laptop when Puck came walking through the door looking absolutely exhausted after work.
"What's wrong?" he said as he kissed her cheek on his way to the kitchen.
"Nothing," Rachel said staring at the closed laptop on her desk.
"Come on Rach, I can read you a little better than that by now."
"It's nothing Noah. Just a long day."
Rachel was happy when he let it go after that, at least for the time being. They're quiet during dinner, Rachel didn't have much to say and Puck only touched on the things that went wrong at work that day so most of the sound during that time came from their silverware making contact with their plates. There's something off and they both know it. But Rachel fully intended on letting it go, finishing the dishes and heading to bed to get the chance for a fresh start tomorrow. But Puck must have felt the need to push because he asked her what was wrong again while they're doing the dishes.
"Nothing," Rachel responded.
"C'mon Rach. Just tell me what's wrong and we can go watch whatever crappy television in on tonight."
"I just want to go to bed."
"We can do that too," Puck said taking a step closer to her, "but you've gotta tell me what's wrong first."
He was flirting and Rachel was furious at him for it. And for that reason alone, she lets out everything out in one quick burst, "I want to be Rachel Puckerman."
Puck rolled his eyes and backed away from Rachel. Not too far so she doesn't think he's running but far enough that Rachel knows that he'll probably make himself sleep on the couch tonight.
"Rach," Puck said simply.
"Why won't you marry me?"
"Rachel, we've gone over this a hundred times," Puck said the volume of his voice rising with his frustration.
"And a hundred times I don't see the problem. " Rachel countered, her volume rising as well, "I like to consider myself a rather intelligent individual Noah so I'd like to think that I would know when there isn't a problem."
"You know this whole thing is Fabray's fault."
"You can't blame her for this Noah. It's what I want."
"Ever since Quinn got engaged you can't shut up about weddings and marriage."
"I'm not going to apologize for wanting to marry you Noah! I'm not going to apologize for wanting what every little girl wants since they can play house."
"That's just it. Every little girl wants it until she grows up and gets it and realizes it's just a bunch of bullshit and lies."
"Not everybody ends up like your parents Noah! Look at Burt and Carole and Will and Emma!"
"Why risk it? Why take the chance?"
"Because when two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together they get married in front of their family and friends."
"So that's what this is?"
"What?"
"You just want a Rachel Berry spectacle. A whole day when the focus is all on you and no one else. That's all this is."
"Excuse me?" Rachel questioned her voice loud.
"You don't want the marriage, you want the wedding." Puck said point his index finger in Rachel's direction.
"How can you say something like that?" She asked. She knew he could play dirty if he wanted to but insinuating that was absolutely ridiculous.
"Because it's the truth."
"I think you just need to calm down before you say something else you're going to regret." Rachel said with her hand on her hip.
"I think you need to look at the reality of the situation Rachel."
"That you're afraid."
"Now who's saying things they're going to regret?" He's mad and she knows it, and she's absolutely terrified where this is going.
"But I can't decide what you're afraid of more. Marriage causing you to lose me or marriage causing you to lose your freedom."
"That's absurd Rachel even for your crazed thinking."
"Brittany and Santana call me the girl who tamed Noah Puckerman. So what if you're not as tamed as we would all like to think."
"Fuck Rachel! I've never cheated on you."
"But it's a lot easier to break up with your girlfriend than your wife if you decide you want to."
"I don't! And I think it's ridiculous for you to even insinuate Rachel."
"As ridiculous as you thinking marrying you would just be a Rachel Berry spectacle."
"I don't see us ever seeing eye to eye on this Rachel."
"Then maybe-" Rachel said before stopping herself.
"Maybe what?" Puck asked even though he was absolutely horrified of her response.
Rachel took a deep breath. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought this thought a handful of times but she always quickly pushed it aside knowing it was ridiculous and never ever did she think she would ever verbalize it, "Then maybe we need to find people who will see eye to eye with us."
"Now Rachel you're being ridiculous." Puck said his voice low.
"I don't want to grow old calling you my boyfriend," Rachel said verbalizing her thoughts from Quinn's wedding, "I don't want our children to grow up and have to ask why mommy and daddy aren't married. My dads aren't married because they can't, we won't be married because you won't."
"Jesus Christ Rachel! You obviously haven't been listening to a single thing I've said about this over the years. But of course I am the bad guy because heaven forbid you actually admit that you're being entirely selfish with this."
"Selfish? Really Noah? How?"
"This whole wedding/marriage thing is all about you. It's about what you want and you seem to have absolutely no regard for what I want. How the whole thing makes me feel."
"That points us back to my point earlier. We want different things Noah."
"So that's it. We're just supposed to give up?"
"This is what I want Noah. And if you can't give it to me," Rachel voice trailed away after that and the two just stood in the middle of their living room looking at each other, hoping that there was a solution, a compromise, but as the silence became deafening it was clear that there wasn't anything more to be done.
"I'll uh go stay at a hotel or something until I find a place, I guess," Puck said breaking the silence.
"No," Rachel said shaking her head, "I'm going to go to Lima. I've got some vacation coming up and I need to get away. I'll look into red eye flights to Cleveland tonight."
"When did you decide on this? Have you been planning this all along?" He's not yelling but you can still hear the rage in his voice.
"Absolutely not!" Rachel exclaimed, "I guess I decided right now. I feel like that's where I need to be right now."
"Where will you stay?"
"My dads. I'll have to call and let them know I'm coming."
"Ok," Puck said because he was pretty sure there wasn't anything to say.
Rachel managed to get three suitcases packed in an hour and was able to make the arrangements with the travel agency and with her fathers to head back to Lima. Though she had yet to shed a single tear, the pain in her chest was almost incapacitating but she pushed herself to put each important thing into her luggage along with most of her clothes.
The taxi called to let her know it had arrived as she was standing in front of the door looking around making sure she had everything she needed. She told Puck that she would come for the rest of her clothes when she got back from Lima in a couple weeks. He just nodded and Rachel headed towards the door. It was open and she was about to cross the threshold when he called out to her.
"Wait," he said and Rachel's whole body ached for him to be calling her back to tell her he'd changed his mind, "Just send me a text or something and let me know you got there."
Rachel's heart sank back to her stomach and she nodded grabbing on to her luggage and crossing the threshold out of the apartment and out of the building. She was really doing this.
Although she told her dads that she would get a taxi back to Lima, when Rachel got off the plane, Sheldon and Benjamin Berry were waiting. She hugged them hello and the trio headed towards the car. The ride home was quiet and Rachel was thankful that her dads weren't pushing. She hadn't told them much except that she was going to be coming home for a couple weeks, alone. It's not until she's unpacking her things in her childhood bedroom and Sheldon came in with a glass of water that Rachel finally broke down. Teary eyed she held on tight to her Daddy and told him everything. She lets her daddy wrap her in his arms and she cried into his shoulder. She felt so tiny and so vulnerable, so childlike. And then as the tears begin to subside and her father was just rocking her softly she realized that everything she wanted, everything she saw in her future, was suddenly gone.