Author's Note: Be warned that this is a long and slow progression of Faberry. The story picks up with the appearance of Pink!Quinn. Nothing is really consistent with canon Glee after that. I started writing this at the beginning of season 3 and stopped somewhere along the way. I have quite a few chapters already written, so if there is interest I shall post regularly. The M rating is for later. I don't own anything but the words on this page and the mistakes you may find within.

August 22, 2011

It's the first day of my senior year here in the ever-judgmental halls of McKinley High. My summer days were filled with lying by the pool, mall dates and sleepovers in the company of Mercedes and Kurt. Most nights were consumed by time spent with Finn, and all in all I'd have to say that it was the best summer I've experienced…not that I have too much to compare it to. Nothing overly exciting happened, but I actually spent time with people outside of my bloodline. I have friends now…actual friends. I'm hoping the theme of the summer can carry over throughout the school year, because I'd love nothing more than to actually enjoy my last year of high school.

As I sit here on the steps of the lunch yard gazing upon my fellow students, I can't help but get a bit lost in staring at the one person everyone can't stop talking about. We'd seen her a few times at the mall over the past couple of months. In an almost natural progression, her appearance would be slightly altered with each sighting. She started with her hair. It began as quirky pink highlights mixed in with the messy blonde bob that I honestly found adorable, but then it turned into the "look at me" hot pink that it is today.

Then came the wardrobe…I believe it was late June when I saw her dressed head to toe in black for the first time. Mini-skirts, fish nets, biker boots and t-shirts donned with slander accompanied the pink hair these days. I honestly don't get it, but she makes it work. She always could make anything look good, so it doesn't surprise me that her all consuming "Fabray strut" is even more effective with the new look. She can turn every head in her vicinity with one step, and a bitchy attitude.

In July I caught her with a cigarette in her mouth. It's all part of the image I suppose. God…why is she so consumed with fitting in somewhere?!

I didn't talk to her this summer…not once. Do I regret it? I suppose so, but what am I really supposed to do about that? I like Quinn. I always have, but we've had a bizarre…relationship over the years filled with every level of drama. I can't honestly call it a friendship, because that's not what it is. Not even a little bit. Everyone knows I've tried, but she just won't have it. If anyone were to ask me why, I have only one possible answer as to why she'll only have me as her enemy. That answer being: she knows what our friendship could be, and she's not ready for it.

She knows I care, because I'm usually the only one to never leave her alone when she wants it most. She knows that I push her to admit things that she'd never reveal to anyone else. She knows that I'm the only one to call her out when she's being unreasonable, and I'm the first one to assure her that she'll be ok in times of distress. She knows, and she doesn't want to deal with anything more than she's ready for. She's so lost and she's nowhere near ready to be found by anyone, much less me.

So there she is, sitting there with an all knowing smirk, lit cigarette in hand, simply listening to the conversations being held by her new band of misfit friends. I don't know that she's talked to anyone else from glee club, but I highly doubt it as no one I've spoken to knows much of anything about her these days. Everyone seems to be content in letting her go her own way, or we all just refrain from talking about her due to a healthy combination of respect and fear.

For now I'm content to wait until glee practice to see if she even shows up. I'm always in a constant debate over what to say to her, but for the first time I'm just genuinely curious. After the first time I saw her this summer, not a day went by after that I didn't think about her. I wanted to know what happened and why she's changed into the version of Quinn she is today. I wanted to call, write or even visit, but I was terrified. She never has responded well to my inquisitions, so I remain silent in my curiosity.

I guess you could say I miss her. Even though our relationship has been controversial, I miss her. She challenges me. She is as much the catalyst to most of my emotional breakdowns as I am hers. My high school experience would be incomplete without her here to dispute my every move. I don't think that we're meant to be friends just yet, because we both see the other as our biggest threat. We're simply meant to co-exist for now with a silent understanding.

The sound of the end of lunch bell brings me from my thoughts as Finn grabs my hand to walk me to my next class. Our relationship has hit a steady calm as we've grown comfortable with one another again. It's nowhere near as thrilling as last year, but we both know it's most likely due to the scars left on our hearts from the past. We're both a bit guarded and I for one won't let myself get excited for this to last through the year without drama. Every day is a new day of hope, so I just lift my eyes to his and give him the shy smile I know he loves.

Finn leaves me with slight squeeze of my hand and a kiss on my cheek as I walk in to the first of my afternoon classes. I let my eyes drift from his as I scan my calculus class for a place to sit. My search halts upon a shaggy hot pink mess of hair just past the top of Artie's head. I look around him to see that there aren't any available seats near her so I just settle in to the desk next to him. Quinn would prefer it this way anyhow.

The class proves to be long and boring, but my mind is far away from anything the teacher might be spouting out. I spare a cheating glance over my left shoulder to catch hazel eyes staring back into mine. I don't react, but simply hold the stare as long as she'll let me. She knows. She knows I'm curious, and she knows I want to ask her a million questions. She doesn't quirk an eyebrow or roll her eyes, but simply shrugs her shoulders as she returns her concentration to our teacher.

The class comes to an end without another look at Quinn and so do two others after that as I find my way into the music room for our after school glee meeting. I'm not the first to arrive, and I simply take my seat in the front row. I can't bring myself to get excited about glee right now as I'm tortured with thoughts of hot pink hair and those damn hazel eyes that look to know everything and nothing at the same time. I'm only hoping that the find their way back to glee.

We're not short on members this year as we've added 6 new people to the club. The one person I was hoping would show is nowhere to be seen, and I can't help but wonder if she's still on campus as I clear my throat and speak for the first time today.

"Mr. Schue, can I please be excused for a moment?" Finn turns to give me a curious look, but I flash him a reassuring smile and simply say "It's okay…I just need to visit the ladies room. I'll be back". He nods and I'm out of the room and running to the parking lot to see if I can catch Quinn. I open the front doors to an almost empty parking lot with only the cars of after school club members left behind. No Quinn in sight. I'm not even sure why I even bothered looking…what compels me to do these things no one will ever know.

My shoulders slump just a little bit before I make my way to the auditorium to clear my head before I go back to glee. My eyes are cast downward as I open the doors and make my way down the aisles to the stairs leading up to the stage. However, as I take the first step I hear the pivoting of a stance and the first step of a combat boot as I rest my eyes upon a retreating Quinn.

"Quinn, wait…please?"

She takes a few more steps but pauses just before she reaches the curtains leading backstage. She turns around with a reluctant expression and without moving forward says, "You should be in glee".

"So should you", are the only words that leave my lips. She sighs with a heavy breath and tilts her head back in frustration before her eyes reach mine.

"And what would give you that idea Rachel? I haven't talked to anyone in months, I have new friends and no one has even approached me this summer until this moment. Why would the glee club even need me now?"

"We don't", I say simply. Quinn's jaw drops slightly at the harsh reply and it looks as though she might turn to leave before I approach her and grab her wrist lightly to get her attention back to me as I say my next words. "We don't need you Quinn. We have plenty of members this year to get by. I want you there."

In a state of disbelief she begins to say, "Rachel, I swear I will never understand you. I know you must be as curious as everyone else, but just let me be okay? Considering all that happened last year, why would you want me in there anyway?"

I ponder my next response carefully as I stare into her eyes with friendly compassion. If I say what I'm about to say I risk a vulnerability to her sometimes venomous reactions. She knows how to get to me…she just knows. I shake the nervous tension off and simply state, "Because I miss you." before turning to walk back to the music room.

"Why is it always you?" Quinn quietly asks as I begin descend the steps.

"Huh?"

"Why are you always the one to come talk to me? Why do you always seek me out, or follow me? Why are you the one to wipe away my tears? Why are you the one to sing to me? Why is it you that constantly challenges me? Why is it always you? It's no one else but you".

These moments between me and Quinn are always filled with so much tension. THIS is why we aren't friends…moments like this one. She knows I care too much to just let her go on in her new image without an explanation and I know that she desperately wants to give one. She's just too damn stubborn to actually do it. It's with light reluctance that I start to walk back towards her.

"You know why", is all I have to say before she's shaking her head and asking "Why?" again.

"I care Quinn. I care way more than I should about too many things, and you are a part of that. Even though we don't really get along, and our past is…colorful, I care. I know that there is more to you than this exterior caricature, and I want to know that you. I always have, and you've always been too afraid to let me know. You KNOW why it's always me."

"Yeah, okay, but WHY do you care so damn much? I've given you no measurable amount of reason to, so WHY?"

"For the same reasons you do Quinn. We were put here in this school to challenge each other, because no one else will. Sure I have other competitors in glee, but they don't challenge ME. They make me a better singer while you make me a better me. You've found your escape for now, but that girl that stares whimsically as we sing is going to miss us eventually. I know you love music way more than you'll ever admit to anyone, but you just get too caught up in high school to care. Plus, you know me…I'm really curious as to what this is all about." With that, I wave my hand at her wardrobe and throw her a raised eyebrow of my own.

"I'm just so tired, Rachel. I'm tired of trying to be everything everyone wants me to be." She drops open palms to her sides and continues, "This is just easier than being all of that."

"It's going to be an interesting year, Quinn. I hope you find happiness with your new friends, but you're in this auditorium for a reason. I know you're going to miss it. I'm going to miss you. Even if you don't think anyone else does, just know that I miss you." I smirk with my closing line, "God knows we could use some more color in glee."

With that I turn and walk back to glee with hope for tomorrow. There is so much more I want to tell her, but I can't find the energy to do it. I know she's not ready, so I don't want to push. Caring too much has led me to push too hard in the past, and I can't do that right now. We need me to be patient this time.

August 26, 2011

The next three days go by much the same as the first. I'm uncharacteristically quiet lately as everyone around me flails in excitement over the latest gossip during lunch. I can't bring myself to care, because I'm all too aware that every story will change 100 times before the end of the day. I'm much too busy with my own thoughts as I watch Quinn across the way.

Her hair is faded from Monday, which proves my theory that the pink is simply a wash out dye. The fishnets and miniskirt are gone, and replaced with some black skinny jeans and some pink converse tennis shoes. Her shirt is a vintage shirt of sorts with the logo of some band she most likely knows nothing about. She's smoothing out her edge, and I notice every change. She looks away from her conversation long enough to give me a quick smile before she's speaking to her companion again.

The rest of Friday goes by in a flash as I stroll into glee hand in hand with Finn. As we take our seats in the front row I look to the door to see Quinn confidently walk in to take the seat to my left. I look at her profile, quietly let out an all-knowing chuckle with a side of shit eating grin, and turn to Mr. Schue for him to begin our discussion. He curiously welcomes her back and we begin rehearsal.

15 minutes later…

"Good GOD, Rachel! You are insufferable! Just let Tina have the damn solo this ONE time and get over yourself for 5 minutes! You never change do you?"

I've been arguing with Mr. Schue about this particular song for 10 minutes before Quinn interrupts with her outburst. I whip my head in her direction, smile mischievously, think "God I've missed this", and fight back.

"Oh like you would know! You've been stomping around in your combat boots with Motley Crue this whole time. But fine…Tina, the song is all yours."

Over the years Quinn's outbursts have become a way of her keeping me in check. We both know that I most likely won't shut up until she speaks up. She's my catalyst and somewhere along the line we both learned and adapted to it. She knows how to get to me. No one else's insults have quite the same sting, and if the newly crowned punk princess thinks I'm out of line, I'll believe her.

As glee comes to an end, I kiss Finn goodbye for the day as he has to rush to football practice. I notice Quinn is the last one filing out of one of the doors…

"Quinn?" She spins around on her heal with the eyebrow already quirked.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're back."

"Sure." She winks, turns around and is out the door and gone.

September 26, 2011

As the heat of summer fades away and the fall weather encroaches, the days go by much the same as the Friday Quinn came back to glee. We don't talk to one another, but we exchange smiles in the halls and bitch at each other in glee. It's not perfect, but it's high school. She knows I care and that is enough for now.

Her hair is completely blonde again, and she maintains the messy bob that I've grown quite fond of. Her wardrobe has mellowed out a bit and she usually sticks to the skinny jeans and t-shirts with an occasional appearance of a dress or two. It's nice to see. She seems more…Quinn. I would feel like a stalker, but I know she watches me with the exact same intensity.

She still hangs out with the same friends at lunch, but not exclusively. I've noticed that she roams around the lunch yard to have polite conversations with some Cheerios, kids from our classes, and she occasionally drops by the glee table. She never really does engage me though.

Quinn and I can't really have polite conversations. Our relationship is too plagued with tension at this point and our talks will leave us with too much apprehension if we were to start one. I still think about our conversation from the first day of school and it's been a month. We're not friends, and neither of us pretends to be.

We could be friends though…the best of even. Maybe it's immaturity keeping us apart? Whatever it is, we're both perfectly content in our current state. We're just…us.

December 20, 2011

It's not until the day before we're to break for Christmas that we talk again. I took a breather from my usual lunch table to spend some time in the auditorium before I'm without it for two weeks. As I sit on the edge of the stage and hum the melody to Ariel's "Part of Your World", Quinn walks in and sits beside me. She doesn't say anything, but begins hum along in harmony.

Our song comes to an end and in classic Rachel Berry form, jump right in to interrogation mode…"What are you doing here?"

"I came looking for you." She replies apathetically.

"Oh. Why?" I finally turn to her. I honestly don't know why she's here.

"I don't know really. We don't have glee today and I just wanted to see if there was a chance I could bitch at you one last time before break." I turn in disbelief and am met with a friendly smile. "But you're here alone humming songs from Disney, and I like Disney, so…no bitching."

There's moment where all I can hear is the sound of our breathing before she start's up again.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I missed you this summer."

"I missed you too."

"I know we're not friends, but…I missed…us."

"I know what you mean."

"Do you think we'll ever be friends? I feel more myself this year than I ever have before. I feel no pressure to complete anyone's vision of perfection, I have friends that are void of expectations, and I just feel free. The only thing missing…is purpose."

"Not sure I'm following…"

"Purpose. I'm happy, but I don't know what comes next. I have the grades and money to get me in to any college I want, but I just don't know what I'm doing...Did you get in to Tisch?"

"I did. You're the first person to ask actually. The letter just came yesterday and I…"

"I figure you would have made an announcement over the intercom…" she sarcastically interrupts. Her gaze shifts to an intense stare as she tells me "I got a letter too."

"You…What? You applied to Tisch? Wait…you got IN to Tisch?"

She shakes her head slightly, and looks back to me with something resembling shyness. "Julliard actually." I must have a dumbfounded face on, because she continues with, "I know…who knew right? My mom actually encouraged me. I practiced every day this summer and even took a trip to New York to audition. I don't know if I want to play the piano forever, but I love it right now."

"That's why you were in the auditorium that day…to see if you wanted it to be your future. It had nothing to do with glee. Huh…" Now I just feel stupid.

"That's not entirely true. I still don't know what I'm going to do. I do know that I love being on this stage. Everyone thought I went down some deep depressing hole over the summer, when I was just taking time away from everything I knew to expose myself to everything I didn't. Finding new friends this summer allowed me acceptance. They didn't know me and they just took me in. I fell in to the same patterns trying to fit the group norm, but after our talk I guess I realized that I didn't need to."

"You're losing me again…"

"Oh, come on…you just want me to say it. You KNOW! You care Rachel…no matter what I dress like or whose baby I'm pregnant with, you care. You challenge me every day and you challenged me most that day. I looked ridiculous and you saw right through it. I knew that everyone else would too soon after, so I came to my senses."

"The catalyst."

"Exactly…no matter what direction I'm headed, you're the one spin me in the right one. If I'm falsely happy, you annoy me into honesty. If I'm sad, you comfort me. I bitch slap you in a fit of unwarranted rage, and then apologize a second later. I dress like an idiot, you couldn't care less and then I try to change without anyone noticing. You keep me in check."

We both pause and think for a moment after that. She knows what we are to each other and she knows that this is all we need from each other right now. She came to me because she's confused about her future and hopeful that I might piss her off in one direction or the other.

"Do you want to go to New York?"

"Yes, no and every answer in between. Are you going?"

I look at her in a state of dumbfounded shock, and she immediately understands the idiocy of her question.

"Right…stupid question."

"I know you came here hoping for direction maybe, but you know I can't tell you what to do. Do you want to play the piano?"

"I do. My mother has been so supportive this year and is even encouraging me to go. She knows I want this."

"So what's the hold up?"

She lets out a hushed chuckle, "I guess…I guess as always, it's you."

The only thing I'm capable of in this moment is staring at her with my jaw in my lap. I want her to go to New York…I really do, but I can't be the reason she stays away. The bell brings me out of my trance and she gets up to leave with one last comment.

"New York could be fun, Rach. Have a good holiday, and I'll see you next year."

With that she's on her way to the door. Well I'll be damned…she wasn't looking for an answer, but a reaction.

"Happy holidays, Quinn. Tell your mom hello!"

She turned around and nodded with a smile before exiting the auditorium. I had only met her mom a few times, but it seems as though this year she has taken a vow to really be there for Quinn. At sectionals she was in the front row cheering us on and even came up to compliment my solo when we won the trophy. I'm glad Quinn finally has some one caring about her at home. It seems to have made all the difference this year. Quinn Fabray is happy…ish.