Had they been asked together, they would have worked out some kind of compromise. Of course, they weren't and they had vastly different desires in the matter, so both of them were cursing GLaDOS giving them a choice separately against their better sense right along with their secret 'workplace' affair. Given the chance not to be a core anymore, Rick jumped right in without thinking anything of Fact; whereas his much more pensive boyfriend was perfectly alright staying a core, staying mechanical and robotic. That's how this went; Rick became a test subject, placed in the appropriate human body that suited his fancy. Tall, dark-haired, ruggedly handsome; he had everything that would've made him completely content—except for one little pink-striped core that he didn't even think about until it was too late.
Jumpsuit and long-fall boots on, portal gun equipped, Rick was more than happy to begin testing until he heard Fact's familiar monotone crackle over the speakers, "Fact: You are welcomed to the Aperture Science Testing Enrichment Center, test subject. Quick, completed testing will be rewarded with non-lethal pastry and a positive remark on your official testing file."
"…Pinky? Aw hell," Rick said, feeling a sudden drop in his stomach when he realized that Fact must've been put in charge of supervising his testing, meaning he stayed a core. God, why didn't he think that Fact wouldn't have wanted to be a human sooner?
The test chamber was silent for a long moment until several vertical panels opened up in the wall and a monitor came into their place. Fact's optic was passive until he saw his test subject; his eye plates flew all the way back into his head.
"Inquiry: What are you doing down there? Looking like… like that!" the monitor's speakers almost crackled with Fact's surprise.
"Shit, did th'boss lady ask y'if y'wanted t'test, too?" Rick asked, though he could guess the answer.
"Fact: The Central Core asked the Fact Sphere first," he spat, pride showing through even his dumbfounded surprise.
"Shit, I didn't know y'… oh goddammit, hold on," Rick swore and quickly went about his way completing the test while Fact watched with shock, shuddering noticeably when his test subject made it to the door.
It took him several moments to regain his composure while Rick impatiently paced around the elevator that would take him to the next test, but he swallowed the angry nerves and spoke up, "Fact: You will live much longer as a core! This is a bad plan!"
"Look, darlin', we need t'talk somethin' out if this is gonna work out. I know they don't know shit 'bout us, but… damn," Rick continued to pace, sounding agitated.
"Fact: If that is the case, perhaps for that and other reasons, it is wise to discontinue!" Fact sputtered, not much happier than Rick appeared to be.
"'Other reasons?' 'm jus' gonna call bullshit right now n'ask what th'hell yer talkin' about," Rick suddenly stopped and looked up at the great monitors that surrounded the room, Fact's optic appeared, big and bright, when Rick finally looked.
"Fact: The Fact Sphere is now your direct superior, that is a violation of Aperture Science inter-personal relationship rules and guidelines," Fact stated evenly, optic narrowing on the screens.
"I dunno what makes y'think I care 'bout the rules, Pinky," Rick scoffed, "Next."
Fact stared, nonplussed, "Fact: Testing Initiatives are hindered by romantic relationships."
"Okay, it don't even hurt t'say I give more'a shit 'bout you than some goddamn testing," Rick leaned against the elevator glass and rolled his eyes, "Y'ain't even tryin' now."
Truthfully, Fact was simply upset that they hadn't talked about this first. Not that there was any feasible way they could've, but the less reasonable part of him wanted Rick to have anticipated his desires; Rick clearly failed at that. He was, however, blocking any attempts at making this more dramatic than necessary. Fact grasped at his final straw.
"Fact: Physical intimacy will be diminished, if not completely eradicated," he sniffed, the smarm actually making it through Fact's normally cold voice. He knew this was a blow Rick would pay attention to, of all things.
"Huh! Says who?" Rick pulled himself off of the elevator, shoulders hunched defensively.
"Fact: Human bodies and core constructs are simply not compatible in that nature," Fact rolled his optic as dramatically as he could muster, "A fact even you should be able to divine."
"Oh hell, y'think I can't figure it out! Come out here n'I'll show ya jus' what I kin do!" Rick shouted in almost comical faux-anger.
Just like anything else they argued about, Rick seemed sure enough that Fact almost disbelieved him. There was just enough disbelief there that Fact was naturally curious and really, Rick seemed adamant enough to make their semblance of a relationship work that it was worth a shot at least. For research, this could be construed as testing… right?
"Step into the elevator," Fact instructed, switching off the monitors.
From his observation room, Fact fretted a bit. What if this didn't work? What would become of them at that point? He honestly hoped that this wasn't going to end up badly; the worry was there and the chance of failure was… well, considering the likelihood of inorganic material unintentionally harming organic material… it was around a twenty percent chance for success and a dangerous eighty-seven percent for permanent harm. This was, however, not factoring in Rick's natural and programmed ingenuity and disregard for normal protocols, he realized, just as the elevator opened up.
Rick cast a glance around the small room after setting his issued portal gun down; it was only big enough for some monitors, a mostly unused reclining chair and of course, the upgraded management rail that Fact swung around on. It looked a bit more like a smaller version of the Central Chassis, thick wires of all colors hanging from the metal holding Fact's core up, allowing him to swivel and swing wherever he wished in the room. Fact swung down slightly, nervously keeping his distance from Rick, who just raised an eyebrow and approached the chassis himself.
"C'mere," he said in a low, even voice that left no room for argument.
Hesitantly, Fact lowered himself to just above eye-level with Rick, "Naw, I meant here," Rick said, holding out his arms.
"Inquiry: You expect me to disconnect myself?" Fact asked incredulously.
"Yeah, now getcher ass down here," Rick commanded more firmly than the first time.
A moment of dead silence passed while Rick stared up at Fact in his perch expectantly; finally, there was a click and a hiss, followed but Fact's core tumbling out of the plug holding him and right into Rick's waiting arms, who wasted no time hauling Fact over to the reclining chair. Arranged in Rick's lap, Fact's pink optic blinked, apprehensive, but watching Rick intently.
"Don't move too much, got it? I dunno everythin' 'bout yer insides jus' yet," Rick mumbled idly, running his hands over Fact's metal casing.
Fact was forced to train his optic on Rick's face, who had a determined, aggressive expression; though he wasn't human, he could certainly appreciate that expression. Even just Rick's hands across his casing felt warm, much warmer than he expected. Humans produce their own warmth, personality constructs did not in anywhere near the same way; he was used to being handled with an anti-gravity gun, but being held, being actually touched was something pretty new. Rick's fingers traced along the nonmoving seams of the casing, making Fact's optic flutter shut with a pleased hum.
Those hands traced across his upper handle as well, which made him jolt, optic flying back open. Rick chuckled, but said nothing; was it that obvious how much Fact was enjoying being frankly manhandled? Fingers loosely wrapped around the guarded part of the handle; Rick was using his fingertips to gently brush across the metal, back and forth lazily making Fact shudder quite obviously. His eye darted around nervously when Rick lifted him slightly to sit on his sternum. Too close, Fact almost said, but he stiffened, feeling something much warmer and slightly wet pass across his lower handle. He had to quickly readjust his optic so it could refocus on Rick's face, who was wearing a devilish grin while his tongue swiped across the handlebar joint. It felt strange, but Fact couldn't make much more than a whine in protest because even though it was strange, it felt amazing. Warm and slick weren't two adjectives he'd ever experienced before as a machine. It appeared the cruel inclusion of pain receptors worked both ways.
Rick seemed to sense that Fact was over-analyzing this already, which he wasn't going to allow right now. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss just to the side of Fact's optic, just distracting enough to cause the pink sphere to jerk pleasantly when Rick's warm fingers invaded the open panel on his side, gently brushing some of the pistons and servos inside. Fact did his best not to move, but he was near-writhing at very intimate contact on places that have never been touched, not since he was built.
"Likin' whatcha feel, Peaches?" Rick nearly purred, though Fact couldn't be sure his audio receptors weren't simply being manipulated.
"F-Fact: It is a stra—Nngh!" Fact was cut off by Rick fingering a wire he found, curling his forefinger around it just slightly.
"Oh, found somethin' good," Rick lazily drew his fingers up and then back down, eliciting a full, tinny moan from the core sitting on his chest.
That warm sensation continued to stroke that wire while Rick's other hand worked its way on the other side, feeling along the back of the metal casing. He felt something that made him think of a touch pad, smooth and non-metallic, his fingers skirted along the edges experimentally. Fact's optic shot all the way open.
"Ahhh… Oooh, that's… that's pleasant," he managed to stammer just before Rick pressed his fingers along that touchpad harder, tracing large, slow circles, "O-oh!"
Wires fingered, reward receptors stimulated, and suddenly that wet sliding feeling was on his bottom handlebar again. Fact cried out, sounding metallic, but obvious in his desperate over-stimulation. All he could see through his quickly blurring vision was Rick suddenly sucking on his handle—the pressure on his reward receptors doubled, Rick sped his circles up, brushing all for fingers across the smooth receptor; he was full on palming the pleasurable wires he found.
Fact swore he could hear himself sparking, but Rick didn't let up, "F-F-FACT: Y-You'll make meee sh-short—Auungh!"
One last guttural cry and Fact shorted out; the pleasure got too much for his little core body. His optic opened again, blinking; he was cradled back in Rick's lap again. Rick wore an expression on his face that was akin to concern, but the smug triumph was still there.
"Y'okay there, Pinky?" he asked with a half-grin.
"Fact: Diagnostics show that all systems are running at full capacity," Fact said, voice kind of quiet.
"Did I prove m'point?" Rick brightened just a bit; it was obvious what he thought.
"I should say not," Fact scoffed, quickly getting louder, "Th-That was being handled! It had nothing to do with your pleasure at all! Fact: The Fact Sphere is again correct."
"Naw, sweetheart, don't worry 'bout it," Rick assured him, suddenly shifting in his seat.
Pressure sensors indicated that Fact was perched upon something very firm, but still organic. Male arousal response, he realized, looking up at Rick with a narrow-optic glare. Rick gave him an easy smile right back; he'd be damned if he just let Fact go just like that. He'd worked pretty fucking hard to woo the stubborn bastard and to let all that work go to waste because of a small bump in the road wasn't acceptable. If this worked how he remembered, he'd eventually be a core again and he'd like very much to have things between him and Fact to be happy again. He made a selfish mistake, he knew and having to go through that without his partner was… just the thought sounded horrible. Fact, of course, looked far more upset than he originally had, but he wasn't paying attention to Rick right now, he was thinking.
"Request: Put me back," Fact said suddenly.
"Er, sure, but—"
"Put me back, please," Fact interrupted, firmer this time.
Rick gave Fact a wary look, but moved off of the chair and pulled down the chassis, plugging Fact back into it. Already, Fact missed the warmth of sitting in Rick's lap, but that didn't matter right this moment. The whole room was at his disposal again, which felt good, too; that felt a little empty when he saw how defeated Rick looked.
"Guess I'll get back t'testin' for ya," he said sullenly, but the door to the elevator slammed shut.
"Have a seat," Fact said, moving the chassis over to the reclining chair.
Fact looked perfectly serious right back into Rick's suspicious expression, but he did as he was told, sitting in the chair, leaning forward to see Fact, assuming they were going to talk or something. Neither of them said anything for a long time until several of the wires that connected the chassis to the ceiling dropped down between the two of them. Rick, slightly startled, held his hands up in defense and a small yellow wire twisted around his wrists and violently yanked him back into the chair, arms pinned above his head.
"Hey, what'n th—"
"Silence is requested for this test," Fact intoned flatly, "Your cooperation and a lack of movement is requested as well."
"Now see here, sweetheart, I toldja this ain't necessary so—"
A sharp, crackling spark next to his ear made him jump, cutting off his sentence. Fact let the chassis droop lower, loose wires draped across Rick's chest. The man cringed, half afraid he was going to get the hell shocked out of him; they curled around the loose folds of his clothing, shredding and ripping them without care. Rick almost protested, but they just faintly scraped across his chest, down his thighs, making him sharply inhale instead of bitch Fact out. Just as previously observed, messing with Fact's hardware already had Rick hard, erection bobbing up as the fabric of Rick's testing jumpsuit was torn from his body. There was barely a pause for the wires to release the tattered shreds of fabric before they were back on his body. Larger cables wrapped around his legs, yanking them apart, pulling them up toward his chest slightly while the smaller wires brushed against his skin, scraping gently along his legs, along his stomach and chest.
"Temperature reaching just slightly above average for a healthy human male, heartbeats per minute rising to a steadily rising above a hundred beats per minute," Fact was noting, optic trained on Rick's contorted face, listing off facts with a sterile voice.
Rick gasped out a laugh, "Go on, darlin', keep talkin' dirty t'me," he teased.
Fact wasn't deterred in the least; the wires were forming wide, connecting panels with each other that flowed past Rick's hips and across his groin, making the man shut up and rock upward with a choked gasp. Wires rubbing his cock felt weird, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant; they all had tiny ridges that tightened and loosened against him every so often, making him exhale a soft moan.
"Fact: 'Dirty talk' is a vernacular term referring to vulgar speech in a sexual situation," Fact stated, dragging the chassis just a little closer, making the wires drag back up across Rick's twitching member, "Fact: It involves words such as 'fuck' and lewd descriptions and or pleas about the actions being performed."
That didn't make any sense to be hot, Fact's robotic voice didn't hold any emotion but smug superiority, but at the word 'fuck' Rick's breathing got ragged and he bucked up harder into the blanket of wires dragging down his length. Fact's optic narrowed just slightly as the wires started to bend and wrap in its woven shape around Rick's exposed member.
"Hahhnn…," Rick tried to laugh again, but it morphed into a low noise in the back of his throat.
Seeing Rick twisting and writhing in the chair beneath him made Fact feel like he had some power over his normally dominant lover and that felt great. One toned body was beneath him, draped in wires from the small chassis he commanded; those wires crossed his stomach, his chest, his arms, and his neck in an utterly delectable manner. A stray wire crossed his face, just over his mouth and through the shifting and grinding; his tongue darted out of his mouth, brushing the wire just barely. Fact watched, transfixed for a long moment before he realized he could feel it, that tongue across the wire with a warm sensation of wet saliva across what should be an unfeeling bit of wire. Once that shock passed, Fact immediately began to drop more wires from the ceiling, looking for one wire specifically.
"Fact: The Aperture Science Prehensile Limb for Construct to Object Manipulation wire is being deployed," Fact informed his test subject, not that he was paying much attention.
A thick black wire dropped from the ceiling, twisting around slightly in a mesmerizing way. Rick almost stopped to watch it warily, but the woven wires around his groin started to roll and rub against his sack, making him arch backward with an obviously distracted groan. The wire on his stomach ended in a tapered point, closed off for better use as a manipulation device rather than a connection type wire. It began to snake up Rick's chest, curling around his neck for a moment before brushing his mouth, shocking him out of his distracted bliss. Fact shuddered as the wire brushed his lips; yes, he was right, this was something he could feel and something that felt fantastic.
Seemingly understanding, Rick's tongue appeared again, drawing across the black encased rubber slowly, watching Fact's optic lower with pleasure. The wire was a bit more insistent, pressing against his tongue until Rick had no choice but to allow the stubborn wire pass his lips. Fact gasped, sounding tinny and overly loud in the small room and a gentle suck on the wire had him making a sparked sound of pleasure. Hastily, the wire was removed, curling back down Rick's body at an urgent pace; Rick almost thought it would curl around his painfully hard member, aiding the friction he was already getting with a mess of wires across it, but no, it skirted past his arousal and straight between his legs.
"Fact: Maximum male pleasure is reached through stimulating the prostate gland," Fact said, sounding breathy.
"Oooh, no, what're y'doin—Oh HELL," Rick swore when the wire was pressed against him, pushing forcefully, painfully into a place he was not at all used to yet.
The soft tapered end of the wire brushed exactly where Fact wanted it to go, working against Rick's prostate relentlessly, "Request: Give me an example of 'dirty talk' as you mentioned earlier."
Whether because he was asked or not, Rick was swearing already, "Fuck, Peaches!" he moaned, bucking his hips up violently, "Oh god, don't fuckin' stop, ahgh! That feels really fuckin' good, ooohgod!"
Fact tentatively thrust the wire a little deeper into Rick, causing the man to arch up with a louder cry and grind into the wires pressing against his cock harder. With that positive reaction, he gently pulled it out again and thrust it back in, repeating the process with increasingly louder results. Just as he found an ideal rhythm, Rick's back slammed back into the chair with a thud and he came with a hoarse cry across the equipment pressed to him. Fact quickly removed the wire inside of his test subject, dragging the rest of the wires up with him, connecting them where he could while Rick sat in the chair, arms still pinned above his head, breathing raggedly with his eyes shut.
Finally, the yellow wire around his wrists uncurled and replaced itself in the chassis above Fact before Fact drew closer to Rick, "Inquiry: Is the subject of the test injured or in need of assistance?"
A gasping laugh sound positive, at least, "Naw, jus' gotta rest, darlin'. Holy fuckin' hell, that was intense."
"Request granted," Fact stated, making a move to retreat before Rick's arms wrapped around his core and pressed a still panting mouth to his top handlebar.
"Believe me now?" he asked, referring to their supposed 'lack of intimacy' Fact pointed out was a possibility now.
"Fact: Upon the given research: yes. Further research is required," the pink core stated resolutely.
"Sure thing, sweetheart, I don't mind testin' like this at all," Rick agreed, but he was soon asleep with his warm body draped over Fact's core.
Humans were so fragile; Fact thought idly to himself and went about starting the testing paperwork. This was indeed testing after all.
Several days later, a small blonde man in a regulation jumpsuit that was too big for him returned to that very room. His pink eyes scanned the room, looking for something with narrowed eyes. The chassis inside started to shift, moving carefully until a green core with a squared pupil looked down at the small, pale man. The man's eyes widened and his back pressed against the now shut door.
"Fact: You were not supposed to return to your original body!" the man protested.
"Was hopin' it was you, Peaches," the core's glee was palpable, "We're gonna do some testin', y'got it?"