Disclaimer: I do not own or make any claim to the Mass Effect universe or the characters contained in this story, all of which are owned by BioWare and Electronic Arts. Neither do I make any claim to Jurassic Park, the film of which is owned by Universal Studios and Amblin Entertainment, and the book/concept belongs to Michael Crichton. This is simply my interpretation of some events within the game universe, making reference to the latter film.

[AN: Hello everyone, thanks for taking the time to look at this story. This story was suggested to me by Krikr (thanks again for the suggestion) and I hope you enjoy it. It's really a humour piece more than anything else and it verges on being straight-up clichéd at points (just so you know).

Just a note about timing, the first part of this occurs during ME2, after Grunt's loyalty mission but before the Suicide Mission. The second part takes place during ME3, after the plot events of the Citadel DLC, so…

WARNING: Contains spoilers for ME3's 'Citadel' DLC, you have been warned.

And now, on with the story: /AN]

A Battle 65 Million Years in the Making:

It was Movie Night on the Normandy SR-2 once again. As usual, Joker and Kelly were banned from choosing a movie; the battle hardened veterans onboard still hadn't forgiven her for selecting an ancient animated children's movie from Earth and no-one would willingly speak about Joker's selection and despite Mordin's best efforts in creating an effective multispecies 'eye-bleach', there are just some things that can never be unseen.

This time, it was Shepard's turn to select a movie and he had always had a particular fascination with human films from the late 20th Century. He always considered them to be an excellent insight into the culture and psychology of the time, when technology was advancing faster than it ever had and people's minds were filled with the possibilities of the future. Some of the crew loved watching the old films (or more accurately the more modern remakes), while others (namely Jack) grumbled considerably whenever it was Shepard's choice.

This time, he had selected and old favourite of his, Jurassic Park (the original of course). Most of the human crew nodded in approval of his choice while most of the aliens seemed interested enough in the concept. Shepard started the film up, distributed various snacks and settled down in preparation of his favourite pastime; crew watching.

Sure, he could watch the movie, but he'd seen most of these so many times he recite it backwards. So instead, he used movie nights as a chance to observe his crew. Oftentimes it was the only way to see them actually relaxed; Miranda and Thane still managed to stay wound up and ready to spring but even they were slowly learning to let their guards down. Soon enough, jokes were being shared ("Hey Garrus, that raptor looks a lot like you! Oh wait, it's not wearing a visor, never mind."), popcorn was being thrown ("Hmm, application of microwaves to thermally excite water inside maize kernels in order to produce snack-food, ingenious; but do question sanity of individual who first attempted it.") and Miranda was scowling at a pair of crewman making out in the back row of seats.

Everyone seemed to be following normal patterns of behaviour; Jack started off feigning indifference and slowly became engrossed in the story, Zaeed was irritating the poor individuals in his vicinity with old war stories that were, at best, weakly relevant to the story and Kasumi activated her cloak during the scary bits. Thane and Samara both watched impassively while Mordin kept muttering about various scientific impossibilities under his breath. Miranda was fretting over minor details in the day-to-day running of the ship and Jacob was (futilely) trying to get her to lighten up and enjoy the movie. Legion was absorbing every detail as only an AI could, Garrus was watching with a degree of interest but seemed to be running something on his omni-tool at the same time, and, to no-one's great surprise, Tali was pressed up against himself as she watched the movie intently. He draped an arm around her shoulders before turning his attention to Grunt. The tank-born Krogan's reaction was a real surprise; he tended to be completely indifferent unless there was a action scene of some sort, in which case he became filled with child-like wonder as he watched the gunfire and explosions. This time however, he was utterly fixated on the vid, his eyes gleaming with keen interest and battle-lust, and it was starting to freak out the people around him who began to carefully scoot away from the dangerous-looking mass of muscle and armour. Shepard made a note to talk to him after the film was finished and see why he was so interested, before returning his focus to the film.

Grunt was enthralled by the film playing in front of him. His sharp eyes absorbed all the strengths and weaknesses of his future foes, noticing their tactical miss-steps and their raw, physical strength. Even Tuchanka couldn't claim to have such magnificent beasts roam its surface anymore and his primal nature demanded he prove his strength against such worthy foes. These 'dinosaurs' would be the as much of a challenge as the Thresher Maw had been during his Rite of Passage, because this time he would fight alone and without weapons; a true test of his abilities. He would wait until their mission to destroy the Collectors was complete, of course (he would never leave his Battlemaster for the lure of personal glory), but once that was complete, he would seek these creatures out and crush them beneath his boot; or get stuck between their teeth in the attempt.

The movie finished and the crew shuffled off to their quarters or to man their station, depending on their shifts, and Shepard was about to go and talk to Grunt when the Krogan-in-question appeared before him.

"Battlemaster, once our fight against the Collectors is finished I request permission to go to Earth." Grunt stated solemnly, his vibrant blue eyes staring sharply at the Commander.

Shepard was more than a little surprised by this sudden decision on Grunt's part and his voice betrayed that fact.

"Ah, sure Grunt. But, uh, why do you want to go to Earth?" He asked carefully, looking for any sort of reaction from the Krogan. But if Grunt noticed his Battlemaster's hesitation at all, he didn't show it.

"Your planet is home to many great beasts, ones which rival those of Tuchanka's past, and my blood demands that I test myself against them in combat." Grunt was still deadly serious and slight signs of his anticipation were beginning to show. He was shifting his mass from foot to foot slightly and his eyes were darting around his surroundings more quickly than usual.

Shepard couldn't understand what had suddenly brought this on in the young Krogan, until it hit him. The movie. Grunt thought that dinosaurs still existed on Earth; of course he would see them as a worthwhile challenge and want to go fight them. Shepard groaned inwardly; how was he meant to tell the excited young Krogan that dinosaurs hadn't been around for 65 million years? And better yet, should he be wearing his armour when he did? Deciding it was better to get it over and done with quickly, before the impressionable and enthusiastic Krogan had the chance to psyche himself up about it further.

"Look Grunt, if you want to go there to fight dinosaurs, you'll be disappointed; there haven't been dinosaurs on Earth for millions of years. They became extinct eons ago and that vid was a piece of fiction, a what-if scenario."

Contrary to what he thought would happen, Grunt actually relaxed at his words, his whole immense frame sagging at the words. His head was hung in disappointment and it was clear in his eyes that he was annoyed, but he wasn't going into a fit at being denied his chance for battle; being accepted into Krogan society really had had a profound impact on the tank-born.

"Oh."

That was the only thing Grunt said before trudging towards the elevator. Shepard had honestly never seen a Krogan look so despondent before and he was glad that he nipped Grunt's enthusiasm in the bud, even if a part of him hated crushing his (rather violent) dreams. He wished there was some way to make what Grunt wanted happen, but the only place with the capacity to do that was Pinnacle Station, and he was pretty sure they wouldn't let him use it as an amusement park for an over-eager Krogan. Still, if he ever had the chance, Shepard would do what he could to make it happen.

Grunt was agitated. His blood had boiled at the thought of such a worthy challenge but now there was nothing to fight, no promise of battle beyond the Collectors.

Still, he was no mindless animal, not any more. He would control his fury and wait for the next battle to tear his enemies asunder. All he needed to do was find some way to occupy himself until then.

Checking his weapons and armour could only be done so many times before he was certain everything was ready and there had been no new fights to write Battle-Songs about. Sparing would be too dangerous for his opponent with his current mind set and even pacing wasn't working to distract him. Invariably his mind wandered back to the dinosaurs and their size and strength. His curiosity finally bested him and he activated his omni-tool, bringing up the extranet search engine. Now he just had to remember the name of the really big carnivore…

Extranet Search: tryannsauros wrex

1 Year Later:

"So Grunt, have you recovered from your, uh, 'Birthday Party'?" Shepard asked the young Krogan as he entered his apartment.

"Ryncol's still pounding in my head but I don't even notice it anymore. Why did you ask me here, Shepard? Everything looks a bit… weak to have a Krogan around." Grunt said with a deep chuckle as he stalked through the door.

"We're not staying here, I just wanted to know if you'd be up for some combat; which, in hindsight I probably didn't even need to ask."

"Hah, of course I'm ready Shepard, is it another Clone? I can't believe I missed that…" The Krogan said excitedly before trailing off with a grumble of irritation.

"I hope it's not another clone, one was bad enough. No, this time it's just simulated combat at the Armax Arsenal Arena. I convinced the owner to let set up a special stage that I thought you would enjoy, so let's go.

After a short walk they were in the preparation area and Grunt realised Shepard wasn't putting on any armour or weapons. Noticing Grunt's confusion, Shepard explained.

"This one's all yours Grunt, I'll be watching on the big screen." He said as he gave him a quick pat on the shoulder and walked up to the viewing area.

Shrugging to himself, Grunt racked the slide on his Claymore and secured his Striker to his back before grabbing a handful of grenades and securing them to his armour before stepping into the elevator that would take him to the arena.

The arena was dark and moist, vegetation, rocks and logs were scattered all across the mostly flat ground and the words "Prime Evil" were displayed across the walls briefly before disappearing as synthesised sounds of animals and a thunderstorm began to play, accompanied by actual rain. Grunt gripped his weapon tighter as he looked for any advantages or cover in the terrain, quickly pinpointing a number of possible points if he got pinned down under fire but the overall layout meant that his best chance would be to keep moving at crush his foes quickly.

Readying his weapon and searching for the tell-tale glow of an enemy 'loading' into the simulation, his ears were assaulted by a deafening roar he remembered all too well hearing on a vid over a year ago and his mind began racing at the possibilities. Sure enough, the trees and vegetation parted to reveal the towering monstrosity crashing through the foliage towards, bellowing a challenge towards the now rather small-looking Krogan.

Grunt's lips split in an evil grin as he holstered his weapon and shouted back at the giant predator; this was going to be fun.

[AN: And there we have it, I hope you enjoyed it or at least found it vaguely amusing. Reviews and feedback are always appreciated, of course, and feel free to direct any questions you have to me.

Thanks again for reading!/AN]