just to see you smile again

Character: Edward Elric

Summary: There is no other explanation.

His mother's smile has been perfect, full of warmth, full of love. And so he has committed the taboo and dragged Alphonse into the same misery – because he wanted to see his mother smile again, he wanted to have her back, he wanted to have his old family, his old happiness back.

What he has done resulted in the exact opposite.

He has not only failed to get his mother's smile back. He has also lost Alphonse's smile – but there is still hope for his brother's smile. He can still get it back if he pays the price and hell, he is willed to pay any price for this happiness. He traded his brother's soul for his own leg and if necessary, he will trade his other leg for his body.

Alphonse's smile is important, it is his goal.

But Winry's smile is important as well. She smiles differently than his mother but her smile is warm and full of love too – and of the promise that there will be a happy ending for them – one day. Alphonse's smile is his goal, his destination but he is scared – oh so scared – of losing Winry's smile along the way, the smile that makes him feel dizzy inside, the smile that never disappears, no matter how hard fate tries to erase it from her face. Winry is strong, maybe stronger than him because she can still believe when he feels doubt sneaking up on him.

And she smiles for him, makes his love, their love grow stronger and stronger, exceeding the former friendship, exceeding the bounds of siblinghood because she is Winry and she has always mattered nearly as much as his family and lately, she seems to matter more than the world.

To keep Winry's smile and to return Alphonse's smile, he cannot afford to rest. Their smiles are his ambition, what he needs to preserve. If necessary, he would make another deal with the devil – Mustang – just to make sure that they would be save and happy.

He sometimes wonders whether the other state alchemists have similar goals or whether they truly believe the crap they are told by the generals and the Fuhrer.

There are some he believes to be like him, the woman down in the south, working without a break to discover the hidden meaning within alchemistic codes, trying to find a truth behind the Truth. Or the duo in NorthCity, working side by side for the protection of the country instead for the protection of the stat, they are people who are protecting smiles as well and that is why he likes them more than he likes Mustang even though Mustang probably has more reasons to do what he does than that bastard lets on.

He has risked life and limb to see his mother's smile again and while he has failed, he cannot deny that it would have been worth it to trade his leg for her smile because her smile is worth a lifetime and he sometimes prays that his children will smile like her.