Blue Raspberry Lemonade.
It had been three weeks since Afro Samurai killed the clone of his dead father in order to gain the number one headband. He had finally accepted the fate of those who walked the path of the headbands. All he had left in the world was the number one and his only hope was that he would be able to atone for his sins before the day he would finally lose it. Until then he could enjoy the peace that came with the number one.
Afro walked into a village and headed for the bar. He could see all the villagers staring at him. Some were astonished that a living god had come to their village and others were angered by the fact that they were no longer able to challenge the monster that killed so many to gain the power of a god. Afro walked into the bar. It was a charming little dive that was clean and had music with a good beat playing on a continuous loop. Afro went over to the bar.
"Lemonade extra cold."
The bartender got Afro his drink and Afro pulled out a gold straw and began to enjoy it. As Afro was drinking someone else came to the bar and sat next to him.
"Blue Raspberry Lemonade extra sugar."
The music in the bar continued to play as the bartender got the drink and handed it to the other man. Suddenly the music cut out and Afro noticed that the man sitting next to him was in a purple suit with green hair and clown make-up with two big scars giving him a smile from ear to ear, and he was wearing the number two headband. Without even looking at him the clown very casually said….
"Hi."
Afro got his sword.
"We can take this outside."
"If you don't mind I'm having a drink here so you're going to have to wait before you challenge me for my headband…….hey! You got a headband like mine! You're number one. I'm number two! So I guess you would be the one to ask……what do they mean?"
"What?"
"The headbands…..what do they mean? I've been curious about that for a while now, but no one has lived long enough to tell me."
Ninja Ninja appeared and looked at the clown as if he was out of his mind.
"Damn Afro! You mean this fool put on the number two headband without even knowing what it means to wear it!!!!"
"It all started when I killed this kid."
Afro looked at the clown horrified.
"You didn't kill the child for the headband?"
"No I killed the child because it was Wednesday, the headband was a bonus. All I know is ever since I put it on my life has been so much fun. I don't have to find victims anymore they come to me. Ever since I put on this headband people have just been throwing themselves at my knives. It's like they want me to kill them."
Afro was completely and utterly baffled by this clown. He not only enjoyed wearing the number two, but was overly excited just describing the lifestyle he was leading because of it.
"Afro! I can't believe this clown. He's out of his damn mind. He's crazy Afro."
"I'm not! No I'm…not."
Ninja Ninja looked at the clown surprised.
"You can see me!?"
"Yea….shouldn't I?"
"Afro this guy is really freaking me out. You have to do something about this crazy mother fucker!"
Afro turned to the clown.
"There are two headbands, the number one and the number two. If you have the number one you have the power of a god and no one can touch you except the person with the number two. The one with the number two can be challenged by everyone and must walk the path of death. That is what it means to wear the headbands."
"So you're saying that because I have the number two I have the right to challenge you for the number one and if I kill you I get the power of a god and no one can touch me?"
Afro got his sword.
"That's correct."
The clown thought about it for a moment.
"Pass."
Ninja Ninja and Afro were completely floored by this. Their brains were almost broken by the clown's response.
"Afro!! This clown's crazier then I thought. Why would you give up the power of a god!!!!!"
"Because it sounds so boring. Why would I want to just sit around waiting for one person to come and kill me when I can keep this headband? If what you say is true then if I keep this one I get to continue to kill many people everyday. Why don't you just sit back and relax. Consider this your retirement. I plan on having fun with this headband for years to come."
"Aren't you worried about your soul!!!!!!!!!!!!?"
Afro shouted in anger.
"I figure from what I've heard, hell will be a barrel of laughs."
The villagers watched in shock, horror, and pure astonishment as the door of the bar burst open and the clown came out running for his life as Afro chased him swinging his sword.
"GIVE ME THE NUMBER TWO HEADBAND YOU PYSCO CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"NO IT'S MINE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Afro wandered the wastelands alone. He was now spending every waking moment searching for the clown.
"Damn Afro! That clown is one hard ass mother fucker to find, but we can't stop because he is enjoying the number two headband just a little too much."
"No one should enjoy the number two headband at all."
Ninja Ninja looked at Afro cockeyed.
"That is the first time you have ever spoken to me without saying shut up."
"Keep talking I need the company right now."
"Wow. Meeting someone like the clown must have messed you up big time, now you're actually having a conversation with your invisible friend. So what are you going to do when you find the clown?"
"I just have to get the number two away from that monster."
"Oh I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curb."
Afro drew his sword.
"Wait a minute! Let's just talk this out a bit. Now I can't beat you in combat and if I did I would have to live the boring life of the number one. Not only that but I can't run from you forever. So I'm going to make you a little offer. I did my homework on you and I think I can give you something nice. You see I have the power to go between dimensions. I can take you to a plain of existence where your daddy is alive, Justice and those bothers never existed, and all your little friends are healthy and loving you. You and little Oki…ah..Oki…."
"OKIKU!!!!!!!"
Afro shouted in a furious rage.
"Yea her. You can be with her, get married, have little afro babies. Hell Jinno and his hottie of a sister can get married like they always wanted for all I care. The point is I can take you to a place where everyone you ever cared about is alive and well and will stay that way for a whole lifetime. All you have to do is let me have this universe. So what do you say?"
An attractive young blonde lay on a couch in a dark room somewhere in an unknown location watching daytime talk shows. The clown walked into the room, sat next to her, and kissed her.
"Morning babe I'm back."
"Hi sweetheart, did you find what you wanted?"
"Yep I sure did and I had a lot of fun in this universe."
"Let me see it!"
The clown pulled out a plasma coil and showed it to her.
"Oh honey it's beautiful, but you look depressed what happened?"
"I offered this guy everything he has ever wanted in the world in exchange for the world he was in. I mean this is a world were everyone hates him. They believe he's a monster and even he believes he's a monster and he still does the right thing! Make's me sick. The guy's worse then The Batman. He also beat me up and took my headband. I'm going to make myself a jug of blue raspberry lemonade and go to bed."
A very defeated Joker hung his head and walked into the kitchen.
The End.