A Kiss For A Friend Or Something More
The first time she kissed him she's drunk, been picked up for drink driving following the opening of the bistro. He looks at her shaking his head as he was so sure she'd been doing better. He still can't believe she put herself and others at risk and yet it isn't that fact which shocks him the most that night. She tells him it's because of him, that she's fallen for him. He almost laughs as she says that. Her, the glamorous and regal-almost ice-queen. Yet he knows that beneath that icy exterior there is fragility. But why would she ever want someone like him? A back-street bookie with a son and a alcohol problem of his own. She's so out of his league it's unbelievable but as her full scarlet lips meet his he wanders momentarily if he can manage not to fall for her. It takes all his strength to push her away. She looks mortified and he momentarily hates himself for causing that hurt look but deep down he knows he can't fall for her, He loves Leanne.
The second time she slips into the bookies one night just before closing, she looks like some Bond girl with red leather gloves and a little black jacket. She comes to apologise for in her words 'Throwing herself at him' He smiles slightly and jokes with her eager to make sure she doesn't feel too bad. After all he wouldn't want her leaving upset and seeking solace in a bottle of red. Her lips gently brush against his cheek and he feels his throat dry at her feather light kiss. Her perfume tantalises his senses and he gulps slightly as he stiffens a little. He knows he shouldn't be feeling like this when his wedding is in a few days time but he's so proud that he manages to restrain himself from taking things further.
The next kiss is one she thinks could be her last and considering the fact that they aren't alone she knows she can only be chaste and tender. She knows she needs to say goodbye, she always regretted that she didn't have that with Paul or Liam. At least for once she can let the man she loves know that she cares. Her eyes sting from her tears as she leans over the bed and lets her lips gently kiss his forehead. He's helped her more than he knows in ensuring that she fights the dependency she was starting to develop for alcohol. "You're a star." She whispers her words barely audible under the sobs she's trying to hold back. She wishes that everyone else wasn't there and she could tell him how much she loves him but she hopes in her kiss he can tell.
The next is a soft fleeting one on his right shoulder, he's got bed hair having spent the night on her couch and she has to smile as she watches him sip his mug of coffee. He's full of bitterness, angry at the fact he survived and Ashley didn't. She knows how that feels, sometimes she wishes that in those final moments when Tony had her in the factory that she had died. Not that she doesn't think Tony didn't deserve to die but rather that she too had been consumed by the flames. He smiles ever so slightly as she gently rubs his shoulder. "She'll understand." She says urging him to talk to Leanne, though partly she hopes that if Peter opens up then so might Leanne. Maybe she'd admit to the affair and then well Peter would be free. Peter feels a weight off him as he listens to her and wishes that sometimes things could be so simple with Leanne. "If I were your wife, I know I would." She says softly as Peter feels the gentle kiss on his shoulder and a little of the guilt at his survival ebbs away.
She comes round to see him the morning after Leanne was rushed to hospital after falling down the stairs and he tries his hardest to push her away. He blames her in part though deep down he's angrier at himself. Angry that he feels less upset about the loss of the baby than he suspects he should. Surely anyone else would be heartbroken over it and yet he isn't sure what he feels. She follows him up to the flat offers to make him a coffee and he almost feels angry at her for intruding on his space. He barks at her when she starts asking questions, what were him and Leanne rowing about but she steadfastedly refuses to leave stating she couldn't leave him when he's craving the booze. She tells him why she thinks he and Leanne are having problems and he doesn't want to hear it. He asks her to leave but then he's shocked when she confesses that she still has feelings for him. Even after he scorned her love back in February at the mockery that was the blessing. He's not sure what to say as she tells him that he can always be assured of her feelings for him. That they've not changed even after he publicly disgraced her. She still loves him and he's somewhat shocked that Carla Connor, the confident business-woman could love him. He has nothing to offer her but she stands there saying that she's meant to be flying to Rome with Frank that day but she couldn't care less if she never saw him again. Her lips gently brush against his and he stands back a little in shock but turns to face her and before he knows it he's powerless to stop himself. It's wrong, he knows it, she knows it and yet it feels so right, their tongues fighting one another as his hands fall to her hips. She smells of expensive perfume and her lips taste of coconut lip balm. He knows it's wrong but right now his wife, lying in her hospital bed is not at the forefront of his mind.
He couldn't believe it when she accepted Frank's proposal and an arrogant part of him is sure she is only going ahead with the whole charade for his benefit. Almost a act of anger. He smiles and wishes her well and deep down he knows her hearts not fully in the union. She puts on a false smile, one that doesn't quite meet her eyes and rolls her eyes as he suggests that perhaps in years to come she'll be sat in her big house, fires burning away and little ones toddling about the place. Sometimes he wanders if he says these more to try and fool himself that she's moved on, that she's happy.
He stands in the doorway of the flat and his heart drops as she briskly turns clutching her silky blouse to herself. "What has he done!" He says not caring who answers but he is met with silence and a severe looking sergeant asking who he is. "Has he battered her?" He asks irate and then the DC mentions forensics and he feels bile rise in his throat. "Forensics? Maria? Please god tell me he's never….." He trails off as Maria looks blankly at the floor. He can hear Carla softly ask Maria to tell him to go and he hates that, that she's terrified. "Ple…please tell me he's not." He says willing someone to say that he hasn't done something so horrible. Maria nods gently and he can't believe it. He doesn't want to believe it, that someone would do that. He leaves eventually sensing his presence is upsetting her and he doesn't want to do that. He wishes he could hold her in his arms but he knows right now that's not what she needs. He reluctantly slopes away and spends half the night pacing the streets trying to comprehend how anyone could do that.
He finds himself somehow almost pleading with her to let him wait in the reception of the medical centre for her. Part of him wants to assure himself she is getting help, she looks a little better today than she had done but he knows she won't be sleeping properly nor eating. He ignores the look he's getting from Norris who's sat moaning about his ingrown toenail and wanders what she's saying. He's thrilled she let him hold her finally, as that was hurting that she didn't want him near her. He understood completely her fear but he needed to hold her himself, assure himself that she wasn't scared of him. She slowly comes out, a small paper bag in her hand as she looks down hating the looks people were giving her. He takes her home and she jokes a little. Part of him feels like she's gaining strength but as he's about to leave he sees her face look downcast and he suspects she needs him to stay. "Don't let him win." He says as he makes a move to the door. Her face makes its best effort to muster a weak smile. "He's already won." She says almost accepting of the fact and it's then he realises he can't leave her, for one thing if he does he'll spend the rest of the day pestering her with texts and calls checking up on her. He takes off his coat and offers to make them a coffee, right now she needs him. She leans against his chest as he gently strokes her hair, there's a calm quietness between them and he doesn't feel the need to say anything nor does she, though she knows right now she could stay ion his arms forever. Finally after everything that happened last week she feels safe.
She's sat in a pair of leggings and a loose jumper that hangs from her shoulder and he can see her tear-stained cheeks. He still can't believe that he nearly lost her, that she was so close to leaving him. "Thank you, for saving my life." She says as he half smiles at her. As if she needs to thank him. He was so heartbroken when he and Leanne arrived at the flat and he'd seen her so lifeless, he still can remember his heart pounding as he held her in his arms begging her not to leave. He kisses her perilously close to the corner of her mouth as he holds her against him. It's somewhat awkward but he savours it glad that she feels comfortable enough to let him kiss her.
He and Leanne they're going away to Cornwall, she's still a little pissed over how close he and Carla are and well he can't blame her deep down but he just wishes she'd give poor Carla a break. The woman's been through so much already. But since the suicide bid she has at least stopped her vendetta against Carla and hasn't mentioned the crash or going to the police. He speaks to Maria who seems unsure on how Carla's coping and though he's made a promise to Leanne to not meet up with Carla but well he can't not see her. He needs to let her know he's thinking of her and that she can text him, ring him if needs be. Ideally he wouldn't be going on holiday but well Leanne's got her mind set on it and he doesn't want to give her reason for anymore arguments. She answers the door and looks pale and washed out. It's his bail hearing today and she's terrified that he'll get out. Peter tries to reassure her and deep down he can't believe anyone with half a brain would let that spineless monster back out. She seems a little more confident as he's about to leave and he opens his arms wide wanting to hug her close, he kisses her softly and it's less awkward this time, a fact he's glad about though the brief tender moment is interrupted by the stark DI whose in charge of the case and when she says that Frank's been released Peter knows that if that monster even so much touches a hair on Carla's head then he won't be responsible for his actions.
She doesn't chide him when she finds him drinking and that's where she differs so much from Leanne who he knows would be getting angry at him. Not that he didn't appreciate Leanne's concern for him but more often than not it was filled with judgement and annoyance. Carla whilst concerned takes a much different approach, he suspects it's similar to what he's used when dealing with her in a drunken state. She pours his drink down the sink and for a split-second he hates that she's done that. His head feels as though it's spinning and she thrusts a saucer under him to drop his cigarette spilling. He's full of self-pity and she listens lets him spill it all out. He labels himself a 'walking disaster' and sobs in her arms, it's a release. She in turn listens ,tells him he's a good man, that he doesn't need the booze. That he means so much to people, that she needs him and he suddenly realises she's right. Ashley was in his opinion a better man but what good would it do to wish himself in Ashley's place. The best thing he could do was to live his life right. Carla brings him some water and practically orders him to get a shower and spruce himself up. She's right though he can't go back to Leanne in the current state he's in. He showers in the luxury jet stream shower and smiles at the expensive shower gels and such. She's no low maintenance is Carla but somehow that makes him feel so valued when she opens up to him.
He slips out of the bathroom still doing up his shirt and she gets up to offer him his jacket. She looks so beautiful and as she flattens down his jacket he captures her hands in his. She's been his rock tonight, more than she would every know. "Don't even mention it." She says as she pulls him in and hugs him tightly. He pulls away and gazes into those beautiful emerald orbs and he gently presses his lips against her. She responds for a second or two but then pulls away and shakes her head slightly. "Go home Peter." She says and he does as she asks. Well gets to his front door before realising that on the night of his wedding anniversary it's not his wife he wants, needs to be with. It's the devastatingly beautiful woman he's left back at Draper's Mill Apartments. He needs to be with her and he feels a slight pang as he realises that with her everything feels so right. It's almost as if the light has finally come on. He turns sharply and hopes that she's willing to listen to him, forgive him for all the months of denial.