Hello, hello!

After four years of reading hundreds of various fanfictions, I wrote something! I was sitting in economics and my hand developed a brain and started writing.

I am not sure where I am taking this story, yet. I hope you like it.

No flames, please. Reviews and direction would be great. Team Peeta!

93 views since I posted it last night! That is awesome! Thank you all so much. xoxo

I open my eyes only to be greeted by darkness. Dark clouds gather outside my windows with the promise of rain. This is exactly what I didn't want….another dreary day. At least I won't be forced out into the cold rain to hunt on this fowl morning.

Of course not.

Being a new victor ensures my family has plenty of food. Food; a luxury that cannot be afforded in the district. Not that I do not enjoy waking up to see my sweet Prim with a smile and a full stomach. Her welfare is the only reason I have not burned down this damned victor house with its stocked pantry and fancy rooms. All in all, I miss my old home. This place here…this is a house, not my home. This house is just the consolation prize for losing a bit of my sanity.

It has been four days since I arrived home from the Games. Threatened, exhausted, and a broken from it all, I have yet to leave my room. Mother's sleep syrups give me two hours of sleep at most before the nightmares kick in. But mostly my nightmares are of Peeta. He will turn to me after the announcement and just as I think he is going to kiss me, I look down to see blood seeping from my stomach. And if he isn't killing me, he is dying from his leg wound. I will be in the cave and when I look up, he is dead.

Peeta

I wonder if he dreams of me snapping his neck or himself gouging my eyes out.

We have not spoken in four days. Upon my arrival home, I explained to my mother and Prim that Peeta and I were not together. I did not give any real other explanation other than that I was confused. However, my sister has taken it upon herself to update me with any district news while I am holed up in my room. Prim mentioned that yesterday was the first time she had seen him leave his house. I have spent my days in here occasionally gazing out of my window. And Prim was right, after leaving his house for a few hours, I saw him walk back into his house. He has yet to leave it again.

Not only have I hurt Peeta, but I am sure his family isn't being any better. At least I have Prim and, finally, my mother. She has been so much more alive now that I am back, but I am still waiting for her new "personality" to fade. But, Peeta's mother is probably even more horrid now than ever. That, and I am sure his house must be tense. After his confession in the cave about my mother and his father, there is no doubt that his mother is angry. Her bitterness has probably caused hell for Peeta's family during the games. I do not know why, but none of them moved into his home. Knowing Peeta, I am sure he welcomed them all with open arms. Yet, I have yet to see any other forms of life in his home besides him.

Peeta and his lonely shadow.

I was so selfish. I realize now that we are facing the same demons. But, I do not want to burden him. And I am sure he hates me. He was serious. I know now that his confession was very real for him and that he had truly cared for me since the first day he laid eyes on me. Peeta had always had a silver tongue and I was so sure that he was using his eloquent speaking skills as a strategy. But, he was serious.

There I was in a game of survival…a fight to the death against 23 other kids…..and people thought I was concerned with falling in love? In an arena of dead children? The Capitol people are so simple minded! Not that I hold any negative feelings towards Peeta for this, I was just focused on living. Getting home to Prim. Getting out of the arena. And I do not feel bad for that. In a survival of the fittest I had no time to spare on such feelings.

But for him, it was real. His last chance to confess his real feelings to me.

Peeta.

How he must hate me now. Surely, though, someone as perfect as he is has already found a fancy merchant girl. I feel a small fire build up in my stomach at the thought of some blonde whore wrapping her arms around him. But I quickly bury the thought. I have brought enough hardship on Peeta…I cannot be jealous when I said I was confused. If I were truly confused, I would not know whether or not I was jealous. But, the thought of some other girl hurts. No, no, no…..I cannot be selfish. If there is some simple girl out there with a happy soul, he will be better off than with me. People watching the Games tend to fall in love with their victors, even people within the district. Well, only the simple minded morons within the districts. Thought it has only been four days, I have a small stack of letters that Prim has placed in a basket from my Capitol fans. Letters of admiration, Prim had said. Love letters, letters begging for my affection, letters begging me to leave Peeta, encouraging letters, letters of pride for mine and Peeta's love, and even a few photographs. Capitol people were crazy. This whole thing is insanity.

I hear the door knob jiggle and turn. Turning my head I see my sister with a small tray of foods.

"Good morning Little Duck," I say. My voice is barely above a whisper from lack of use since yesterday.

"Good morning Katniss," she replies with a large, beaming smile. "Mom made eggs and we have toast with raspberry preserves."

She walks over and places the tray on the foot of my bed. After handing me the plate, I nibble on the toast. Everything lately tastes bland going down, but I swallow it anyways for mother and Prim. She takes the spoon from the small bowl of preserves and begins licking it. She seems as chirpy as ever, but I can tell she has a question. You can tell by the way she smiles, but her eyes crinkle a bit differently.

Great, what now?

I can only imagine that she will ask for me to walk around outside with her. I do not want to leave this room, though. I know its layout perfectly and my closet is my safe place. I have memorized every crack and crevice. Besides, the dark grey clouds are still looming outside of my window.

Prim gives me a wary smile before opening her mouth. "Peeta stopped by this morning."

This is not what I expected.

"We walked up to your room, but you were about an hour into the sleep syrup." She looks up at me, "he is worried about you, Katniss."

I can feel my confusion take over my face and she must notice.

"I did not want to tell you, but he came over to check on you yesterday, too." She says, a bit hesitantly I notice. "He told me about the train and what happened Katniss, that you were confused. And I think he also know about your nightmares." She looks away from me and to the wall. "Peeta said that he misses you."

Prim bites her lip. "And he was sent an invitation to visit the Capitol next week, too."