Title: Patronuses

Author: l_anaki/hohlagh; aka Lord Anaki

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Friendship; Angst; Romance

Disclaimer: All characters you may recognize belong to J. K. Rowling, Warner Bros., and everyone who makes Harry Potter possible. Also I am making no money from the posting of this fic.

Warning: Hints of Child Abuse; Mild Language

Severus Snape usually enjoyed his Defense Against the Dark Arts classes because it was the one place where he could practice the more dangerous types of Magic without getting in trouble for doing so. The OWLs were almost upon them so these days it wasn't really too odd to the desks along the walls and a large open area ready for some serious wand-work. The fifteen-year-old Slytherin turned to his best friend, Lily Evans, and smiled at her. He couldn't wait. He wondered what Professor O'Reilly would be teaching them today… He put his satchel down on one of the desks and just stood there waiting, knowing it was pointless to take a seat.

"Good afternoon, class." Professor O'Reilly said. "Today we're going to cover an area we haven't approached before… Now, can anyone tell me what the Patronus Charm is?" As usual Lily raised her hand first and the older man smiled at her. "Ms. Evans?"

"The Patronus Charm acts as a shield between you and a Dementor. It is created from happy memories and the Dementors feed on it rather than your soul."

O'Reilly nodded. "Correct. Ten points to Gryffindor. Now not everyone can do the Patronus Charm… It is an extremely difficult spell, but it will probably be covered in your OWLs or at the very least NEWTs, which are only two years away as you all know. Let's pair up and start, shall we?"

Severus found himself partnered with Lily, which didn't surprise him much (especially since they usually tried to stay together anyway and Lily had always complimented him rather well when it came to spells). Once they were all ready, Professor O'Reilly told them the charm – Expecto Patronum – and they were advised to just experiment with the words first. And now Snape was starting to feel a little nervous… He didn't really have a whole load of happy memories at his disposal after all. His father was abusive; his mother distant; and his time at Hogwarts marred by the Marauders. Not to mention the fact that nearly everyone thought he was bad news just because he was a Slytherin.

After a few seconds, they were taught the proper wand movements and once again practiced those before actually applying their memories. When the Professor gave them permission it only took Lily a couple of seconds to master it, which had to be a record. Of course only a short jet of silvery steam came from her wand, but it was better than nothing. Surprisingly it was Potter who produced the first corporeal Patronus. A giant stag shot out of Potter's wand and catered around the room for a moment or two before disappearing.

"Excellent, Mr. Potter," O'Reilly said, "another ten points to Gryffindor."

The class started buzzing. Perhaps they would receive points as well if they were able to produce a corporeal Patronus. Less than ten minutes later Lily managed to do just that and a beautiful doe emerged; however, no further points were rewarded… But of course Lily didn't care. Severus could tell that she was rather pleased with herself. Half an hour later Snape was still at it. The best that he could manage was some kind of strange silver mist.

"C'mon, Sev, you can do it." Lily urged quietly.

Severus sighed. "This is too hard."

By the time the bell rang most of the students had been able to produce a corporeal Patronus or had at least done well enough that Professor O'Reilly told them that they didn't need to worry about their performance when it came to the practical part of the exams… Severus lagged a little as he gathered his things. He was disappointed in himself. He had never not been able to perform a spell before.

"Mr. Snape, stay behind if you will." The Professor said.

And now O'Reilly was going to just rub it in… Snape silently cursed to himself. Did bad luck follow him everywhere? He should have said that he had another class to get to, but he didn't because a part of him wanted to know what the older man would say. He slung his satchel over his shoulder and approached the teacher's desk with a heavy heart. There was just no way he could ever master the Patronus Charm. It required far too much from him.

"You seem to have difficulty with this charm." O'Reilly pointed out kindly. "Why this is the first time I've seen you work so hard… Perhaps you are not thinking of happy enough memories?"

"There isn't much happiness in my life, sir."

The Professor frowned slightly. "Surely there must be something, boy. Think."

"Well… There is something…" Severus said slowly. "Or rather someone…"

"Put your bag down for a moment. Okay. Now remember this person. Let their face fill up your mind. Remember when you met them; how you felt. Remember everything. Then you can cast the charm."

Snape nodded his head. He closed his eyes for a moment and thought of Lily. She was the reason why he endured countless beatings from his filthy Muggle father. She was the reason why he never ran away from Spinner's End. She was the reason why he put up with the Marauders. There had been friends before they ever got to Hogwarts and the Sorting Hat certainly hadn't torn them apart. He knew what he felt for her was probably a fine line between obsession and love, but he didn't care. He considered their future; of what could be. With Lily life didn't seem so bad. It was damn right beautiful.

"Expecto Patronum!"

Severus opened his eyes to see if he had produced a corporeal Patronus or not. He was shocked to see a familiar silver doe standing in front of him and looked around, expecting Lily to have returned, but she was gone. It was beautiful; simply beautiful.

"You must love her a lot." O'Reilly said.

"How do you know?"

"It isn't very often Patronuses mirror each other. It takes a strong heart to do that."

Snape smiled slightly. "Thanks, Professor. Er… Do you mind not telling Lily about my Patronus? It's better that she doesn't know…"

"Very well." O'Reilly said. "Now hurry up to your next class, boy."

~ FIN ~