Heh. Hey, guys. This here is The Animaniac Dude, and I got the idea for this one-shot from a birthday card. Yes, you heard me. A BIRTHDAY CARD. Was shopping for something to get my girlfriend's mom, when said girlfriend points out the birthday card. I laughed for a bit, but then, INSPIRATION.

So, here we go!

Disclaimer: the Animaniac dude does not own one piece in any way, shape or form. That particular honor belongs to Oda.

Nami liked to think that she was a real tomboy. Sure, she liked to get pampered every once in a while, and she giggled and cooed with the rest of the girls when she saw two star-struck lovebirds, but when it came down to it, she was a rough-riding kind of woman.

She could get into a brawl and fight better than some men she knew, and she could DEFINITELY out-drink all the men she knew (save possibly for Zoro, since they both decided trying to compare constitutions would bankrupt the ship). She swore and cursed like, well, a pirate. She had absolutely no modesty, and would have little to no problem strutting around naked wherever she went, were it not for the problems that would raise (she'd rather not get raped every other half hour, after all, and having your first time with 4+ guys is not at all romantic). Overall, were it not for the obvious physical differences, like boobs, she could have easily fitted in with the boys. And she was glad for that.

Yet, Nami pondered as she lay sunning on the deck, wearing a bikini that barely protected her naughty places, despite all the roughness that she allowed into her life, there were a few girly things that she allowed herself to dream of.

She liked to pretend that one day, a charming, white-knight prince would come out of nowhere on a gleaming white stallion, sweep her off her feet and carry her off into the sunset to live happily ever after. She knew that would never happen, as she'd probably knock the poor idiot out before he got within arm's length of her, and no prince in his right mind would chase after a pirate, but it was still a nice thing to dream.

She liked to imagine that one day, she'd have a family of her own, with a wonderful husband, 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence. Nami knew this would never happen even more so than her last fantasy. The marines would swoop down on her before she even had the chance to let the ink on the house deed dry, let alone allow her to have kids. She wasn't exactly fond on kids, either. Oh, she liked kids well enough, but not the actual process of having kids. She wasn't going to sit around for nine months getting fat, no sir! But, it was still a nice thing to dream.

The one thing, however, that she just couldn't shake herself out of dreaming of, was probably the silliest of them all. It was far too juvenile for her current age, all-but-useless in her current life, and way too expensive for any practical use, but she still couldn't help but sigh when she thought about it.

Nami couldn't help but want a pony.

She would never admit it out loud, of course. She didn't want the rest of the crew on the ship to hear (Franky just joined, and she certainly didn't want to ruin any good impression he had gained of her) and they'd probably all laugh at her, but all that rationalization didn't make the picturesque pony in her mind's eye from making doe-eyes at her.

She sighed again, not even noticing as they pulled into the rapidly approaching island's docks. It was all Bellimere's fault, she supposed…

"Bellimere!! Bellimere, come quick!!" Nami shouted as she and Nojiko raced into their small house, panting and grinning widely. "Bellimere, come quick!! There's a new person in town!!" the girl's surrogate mother turned around, cigarette in her mouth and a frying pan in her hand.

"Oh? And what's got you two so excited about him?"

"Hurry!! Hurry, they'll be gone soon!!" Nojiko cried out, yanking on the woman's pant leg.

"Yeah, hurry!!" Nami concurred, pulling on the other leg. Bellimere laughed as she acquiesced to their demands, slowly beginning to walk.

"Ahahaha, okay, you two! Let's go see what's got you so excited!"

"Look, look!! Aren't they amazing!?" Nami cheered as their goal came in sight. Bellimere's eyebrows arched.

"Well, well…! This isn't something you see every day here…" erected in front of them in the town square was a makeshift circus, with a tent reaching up to the top of the town's skyline. Yet the girls were not pulling her towards the tent. Instead, they were pulling her around, to a smaller penned-in area. When the occupants of the pen came in sight, Bellimere couldn't help but laugh. "Hahahaha!! This is what you wanted me here for?"

"Come on!! Pay so we can go in!!" Nami made doe-eyes up at her mother. The woman sighed.

"Oh, all right. You can go in."

"YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!" the girls cheered and rushed in to the petting zoo, as Bellimere fished out her wallet. The man taking her money chuckled.

"Heheh. Those two look like handfuls." Bellimere smiled.

"Oh, you have no idea. But it's worth every day with them." She finally fished out the right bills, and handed them to the man. He opened the gate to her.

"Come in, then! Let's go see who those girls have rushed off to see." The ringmaster, Bellimere realized, then began to walk into the pen.

"Aaaaaw!!! Isn't he so cute!?" Nojiko crooned as she stroked the animal's fur.

"Hey, that was my spot! You had the other side!!" Nami protested, slapping her sister's hand away from thee rubbing spot.

"Nuh-uh! That was MY spot!!" Nojiko protested, shoving her hand right back into the animal's fur.

"No!! He's mine!!"

"MINE!!"

The ringmaster laughed good-naturedly as he watched them scramble around the miniature horse. "They certainly seem taken with her." Nojiko smiled.

"Yes, they do. That they do indeed." Nami and Nojiko finally slumped down against the pony's side, exhausted from their rambunctious behavior.

"Hah… hah… Bellimere-san…" Nami panted. "Can… can we keep it?" Bellimere's eyes widened. Nami knew that asking for something like buying a book was edgy on the finances, and then she goes and asks this… 'She must really like that thing.' Bellimere tried very hard to keep her smile from sliding south.

"Yeah, Bellimere-san!! Can we!? Can we!?" Nojiko plucked up, enthused once more. Bellimere bit her lip.

"I… uh…" normally she'd shoot them down straight away, but this… they knew they couldn't possibly afford it, and yet they asked anyway… Bellimere almost couldn't bear to break their hopes. The ringmaster looked up at her and smiled.

"Heh. Happens every time."

Bellimere looked down at the man. "What?"

"Every time Stella shows up in a town, every little girl within a five-mile radius will swarm her. All girls want ponies, you know." He twirled his mustache. "Although, none of them have actually wanted to BUY it before…"

"But… I…" Bellimere started to speak, but the ringmaster held up his hand.

"No, no, I understand. Times are getting tough right now. People are tightening their waist belts and all that PR claptrap. Actually thought about selling some of the animals just to keep the business afloat the other day, myself. This would be a blessing for me, actually."

"But… our money…"

"Yes… judging by their clothes, you don't exactly have much to spare, either." The man twirled his mustache, thinking, as the girls watched wide-eyed as the adults haggled. Finally, the ringmaster snapped his fingers. "Alright, I've got an idea! What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a tangerine farmer."

"Ooh, a producer! And a valuable commodity, too! This is better than I expected!" the ringmaster rubbed his hands together. "Alright, tell you what! I'll be leaving shortly, but if I can, I'll come back this way in six months after my tour of the blues. Once I've done that, I'll take half of the tangerine harvest you then have. Once I have that, then Stella is yours."

"H-half!? But!" Bellimere began.

"I have a few merchant friends that would be dying to get their hands on home-grown tangerines, and would pay good money for a sizable amount for them. Many foodstuffs for the blues are coming out of big-business factory farms, and that's irked enough people to make this a very profitable niche market. The profit margin should be enough to make up the cost of selling Stella." Bellimere bit her lip. While giving away half of her harvest would hurt her badly, the girls' adoring smiles were still vivid in her eyes. And there was the fact that they could put the beast to work, allowing them to harvest many more tangerines before they went bad… Bellimere shook her head and laughed.

"I suppose you know best, stranger." The two shook hands and the deal was struck.

'He never came back, though.' Nami mused idly, twirling her sandal on her big toe. Three months later after the petting zoo, Arlong assumed control over the island. She didn't blame the man for staying away. Visiting a pirate-run island without any backup is fatal most of the time. The only thing that she really regretted about the whole affair was that she had thought and dreamed about the pony so much in those six months, hoping, praying that he'd come back even with Arlong up and about, that even now, eight years later, she still longed for a silly little animal.

'Things are supposed to CHANGE when we grow up!' Nami thought frustratedly. 'We're supposed to want the girly little things when we're GIRLS! We're supposed to stop wanting ponies and dolls and playing dress-up with mom's clothes when we hit puberty! So why won't this go away!?' she tried to rationalize the phantom away. 'Ponies are hard to care for, EXPENSIVE to care for, have little to no practical use on a pirate ship, they're EXPENSIVE to care for, are messy, and smelly, and poop everywhere, and they're EXPENSIVE!! And… and… DAMMIT!' the white miniature pony for eight years ago was still there.

Nami flopped backwards, the tanning mirror over her face. 'Dammit, Bellimere, couldn't you have promised me something that wasn't QUITE so girly!? Like a rifle or something!?' she sighed. 'I am a failure as a pirate. I am a pirate that wants to own a pony. How non-threatening is that?'

"Hey, Nami!" a voice said right by her ear. Nami shrieked and toppled right out of the lawn chair, her face shooting into the grass as her butt shot into the air. "HAHAHAHA! That looks funny, Nami!" Luffy laughed uproariously.

"Luffy…!" a vein throbbed right above Nami's eyebrow. She felt the burning desire to wallop him, and decided to give him one chance. "Was there a reason you decided to interrupt my tanning!?" she growled. Luffy cocked his head in confusion.

"You can tan with that thing on your face? Sanji said it didn't work like that…" he shrugged. "Ah. It's Nami's mystery tanning, whatever! Nami! Come play with us! We need a girl to play Vivi!" Luffy pumped his hands excitedly, grinning widely. "Usopp's playing Crocodile, Chopper's playing the king, and I'm me! I asked Robin already, but she said she was reading! C'mon, it's really fun!" Nami sighed. She really couldn't stay angry in the face of that kind of childish enthusiasm.

"Luffy, I'm not in the mood to play make-believe. Come to think of it, that's the last thing I want to do right now." Luffy drooped dejectedly.

"Awwww… not we can't play Alabasta anymore… meanie…" he hung there for a second, before grinning again. "OOOH! We can play Skypiea instead!! There aren't any girls in that one!!" he whooped excitedly and ran off to tell the others the good news. Nami smiled.

"You idiot… I'm there…" she said to the already-gone captain. And she hadn't forgotten, either. Twice he had helped her when she had most needed it. 'No…' she corrected. 'Three. He's saved my life three times. He saved me from a life of never-ending slavery to Arlong.' She knew they said that third time's the charm, but the charm for what, she had no idea. All she knew was that there was a debt to her captain in her that she would most likely never be able to repay. As she pulled herself back into her lawn chair, she stared at the retreating figure of her captain.

'And what a nice figure it is.' She grinned saucily as she stared at the raven-haired teen's butt. Common knowledge stated Sanji as the ship's number-one libido. While she wasn't contesting that, she liked to think she came in a close second. She kept hers much more close to her (quite ample, if she said so herself) chest; after all, women with hyped-up sex drives had quite a few nicknames, and Nami wanted none of them. Dressing provocatively and seducing men or information were the only ways that she allowed her inner nympho to rein free. It was, however, still there, and she put it to good use as she leered at Luffy's backside. 'Yum.'

She didn't let it color her treatment of her crewmates, but she had already classified every person on the ship according to her 'I'd-bang-them-O-meter'. Chopper was, obviously, the bottom rung. That just wasn't her kink, and she doubted if the little guy could even pop one up. What was he, twelve in human years or something? That was certainly the feel she got from him. Franky was next in line. Those arms… Nami shuddered. Putting aside the obvious physical differences ('no guy should have hands bigger than his woman's head!') She knew enough from gossiping housewives to know that hairy arms generally meant hairy… other places. She didn't exactly want to have to comb herself out every time if they got together, for whatever reason.

Usopp was fifth on the list. She had decided early on in knowing him that his nose was OBVIOUSLY compensating for something. That and the poor boy was just so scrawny she felt she'd snap him in two if they got in bed together. Zoro was fourth on the list. While Nami had no doubt that there were women out there that would cream themselves just by looking at Zoro, she certainly wasn't one of them. Big, muscle-bound oafs were only slightly up on her bang-O-meter than scraggly little twigs. And besides, ginormous scars like Zoro had just didn't cut it for her. Some said rugged and manly, she said idiotic and suicidal. Still, if she was forced to have sex with him, she certainly wouldn't object, and she'd probably be screaming his name by the end, she'd admit that.

Robin was third on the list, something that had initially surprised Nami. The more she thought about it, however, the more she liked it. After all, Robin was an immensely attractive woman, and decorum had no place on a pirate ship. The thought of what Robin could possibly use her devil fruit powers for made her tingly all over. And a threesome with her and another guy would just be plain hot. Still, she liked hot dogs more than doughnuts, so she was third. Sanji was second on her list. She'd never admit it to the amorous chef (he'd never let her hear the end of it!) but he was a seriously hot piece. A fit, blonde guy that can fight, cook, dress well AND knows how to treat a woman right, too? Yes, please! The only thing she could possibly find wrong with him was his overly horny nature ('he'd probably go pick up chicks as soon as he pulls out!') and his absurd comb-over on his eye. She'd never tell the cook this either, but it just made her giggle every time she saw how retarded it looked on him. Still, Sanji was still a hot piece of ass.

The number one spot, though, definitely belonged to the captain himself. Nami unconsciously licked her lips as she counted off the reasons to herself. Whereas Usopp was scrawny and Zoro was dumb muscle, Luffy was built like a gymnast, all lean, wiry muscle. The fact that he was stronger than even Zoro with that kind of frame made her both utterly baffled and in need of new panties. The fact that he flaunted it every day with his choice of clothing almost made her want to jump his bones on particularly horny days. His gomu-gomu powers were like something out of her wet dreams, with everything they could possibly do. And really, what more did you need to say on such a topic?

Luffy's little eye-scar thing was also seriously sexy. While Zoro's scar made him look like some kind of thug bouncer or an axe-murderer or something, Luffy's scar made him look rouge-like, a free spirit, a devil-may-care attitude. It made him look like, well, a pirate. His rough, untamable hair didn't hurt in that regard either. His smile was disarmingly bright and sweet, somewhat at contrast with his rouge-like look, but at the same time, completely in line with it. It was his way of telling the world how he felt, how he bared everything, wore his heart on his sleeve. That part of him made her heart, instead of her undies, flutter rapidly.

The best parts about him, though, were his eyes. The eyes were the window to the soul, some wise person once said, and Nami couldn't agree more in this case. They were the soul of Luffy. At some times, most of the time, they were bright, happy, full of laughter at being surrounded by his friends, his family, his nakama. But at other times, in other places, they were full, so driven, so intense, it was like they bore straight through a person, laying their soul out for him to scrutinize, to judge whether they were innocent, or guilty, and worthy of destruction. Nami had once had that gaze turned on her, back on the train to Enies Lobby. Nami had caught herself locked in that gaze, unable to move. As soon as he had moved his gaze away from her, Nami had lost all maintenance of composure and creamed herself right there. That was probably the main reason she changed clothes that time.

Yes, she realized that she was crushing REALLY hard on her captain. But really, was that so unexpected? After all that Luffy had done for her, had pushed himself to the limits, until he was broken and bloody, all for her, without even demanding more than her continued friendship, was it so difficult to imagine that she had a case of hero-worship for the boy? She doubted it would go anywhere. After all, Luffy's first and only love was the sea. Still, the idea of them together was another of fantasies she allowed herself, and it kept her going on particularly cold and lonely nights.

Nami looked up from her seat and saw Luffy listening raptly to Sanji, as Sanji talked about something she could only guess on. Whatever it was, though, must be pretty damn interesting, because she'd never seen Luffy focusing so intently on something outside of their biggest fights in straw hat history. Luffy quickly glanced over at Nami, and the navigator stiffened. He quickly looked back at Sanji, but the damage was done.

'If anybody asks, I got splashed by a big wave.' Nami thought to herself as adjusted herself to hide the growing wet spot on her bikini. All of a sudden, Luffy nodded and shouted thanks to Sanji as he leaped over the rail onto the lower deck. Nami's eyes widened at his direction of running. 'Don't come over here, don't come over here, don't come over he-'

"Hey, Nami!!" Luffy shouted as he ran to her side. Nami's face lit up a bright red. She suspected the blush was spreading to every corner of her body.

"w-w-w-what?" she stammered.

"You know that next island coming up!?" he said excitedly. "There's something I really really really wanna buy!! Can I get some money!?" Nami's eyes widened. Luffy never, ever asked for money.

"I-I-if you're going to buy more m-meat, then go shopping with san-" Luffy shook his head.

"No, I don't want meat right now! This is something else!" Nami felt the world tilt on its axis, enough to get the rapidly spreading heat in her belly to subside a bit.

'Luffy doesn't want meat!? What the hell? This must be some damn important thing!' still, she was uncertain about letting Luffy buy with the ship funds. She knew how easily distracted he was. "L-Luffy, you know that you can't handle any of the money. Q-quartermaster's rules!"

"Please, Nami!" and then, the look. The intense look that she had only caught glances of before, that she had only had cast upon her as mere fractions of seconds, was now staring her right in the face. Nami bit her lip to hold back her scream as she had the most powerful orgasm she had ever had in her eighteen years of life. Her bikini was now well and fully drenched. She just prayed to god that he didn't notice. "Please, Nami."

"EEK!" Nami squeaked. She forgot he was there for a minute! She immediately looked away, keeping her out of eye-contact. She didn't think she'd survive another second of his gaze. Luffy's body got close to hers, their faces inches from each other.

"I promise, I'll buy what I want, and nothing else." Luffy's voice had gotten low, rough, and husky. She wasn't quite sure if the change in tone was actually his doing or just her overly slutty subconscious begging for her to quit dicking around and screw his brains out, but she knew that her teeth would bite straight through her lip if this kept up one second longer.

"O-o-o-okay!! Y-you win!! T-t-the money's in Th-the hold! T-take what you need and go!!" Nami stammered heavily. She was absolutely sure that not only was her blush in every nook and cranny of her body, but that there was a puddle of naughty juices surrounding her chair. Luffy suddenly pulled back and cheered.

"yahoo! Thanks, Nami!! Trust me, you'll love it! I promise!!" he shouted as he raced into the hold. Nami breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god… he's gone… if he had stayed one second longer, I would've-" her eyes shot open. "Wait…! 'I' will love it…!? He's getting it for me…!?" that's it. She couldn't take it any longer. With lightning speed, she got up from her chair and raced across the deck to the women's quarters, shooting into her room and locking the door with lightning fast speed. A click, a whirring noise and a muffled moan of pleasure that was heard by only one person floated out of the room. Robin chuckled softly as she turned the page in her book.

"My, my… navigator-san seems very pent up… that can't be healthy for a young woman like her…"

With an exhausted sigh, Nami pulled herself out of her room and onto the deck. She had gotten dressed after her 'session', but it still wasn't enough. She looked around and saw that they were docked in port, and that everybody save Robin was gone. She must have been working herself longer than she thought. 'And it still wasn't enough…!' she thought sourly as she waved to the archeologist. "Hey, Robin."

"Hello, navigator-san." Robin replied as she turned another page. "Was it enough?" Nami wasn't even surprised that Robin knew. She probably listened, or even watched the deed.

"hardly." She answered as she flopped down on the lawn chair next to her. "It wasn't nearly enough to sate me." Robin chuckled.

"I remember how that feeling felt. No matter how long or hard I worked myself, it just wouldn't feel right. Am I correct?" she asked. Nami smiled slightly and nodded. She was glad Robin was back on the ship, because you just couldn't talk to a guy about this sort of thing. This was pure girl talk.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's the feeling to a T." Nami turned to the older woman. "So, if you felt like this, then how'd you solve it?" Robin turned to her and gave the orange-ette a look that clearly said 'what do you think?' Nami's face lit up. "You didn't…!"

"He was my boyfriend of, six months, I believe. One of the longest times I've been able to stay in a town unhindered. He was quite skilled, as I recall. I remember seeing stars at the end." Robin reminisced. "Of course, as fate would have it, somebody realized who I was two weeks later. It was a shame to leave him, really." Nami's blush extended down to the short hairs.

"b-but I can't do that…!"

"Oh, really?" Robin said, clearly not believing it. "Then what was that byplay between you and Luffy-san?" Nami was mortified.

"Y-y-y-you s-saw!?" she squeaked.

"I was surprised the whole ship didn't see. Your blush extended as far as it does now, I believe." Robin remarked. Nami hugged her camisole tighter to her.

"h-hey!!" she said indignantly.

"navigator-san, you are obviously heavily infatuated with the captain." Robin said as if she were remarking on the weather. "I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the feelings are mutual."

Nami was stunned one minute.

She was indignant the next.

"Liar! If he…" she trailed off. "If he actually cared about me like that…" she said in a softer voice, before getting loud once more. "If that was true, then I'd be able to tell! How do you know what I don't!?"

"Besides the fact that I've been around long enough to know what undeclared love looks like, from both first-and-second hand experience?" Robin asked. "Call it a woman's intuition." Nami rolled her eyes.

"Real certain right there, Robin."

"I assure you, Nami-san, Luffy cares about you the way you do. He won't take those feelings past friendship, however, because he does not want to ruin the nakama's goodwill towards him. It remains up to you to take that first step." Nami lowered her eyes.

"…but what if you're wrong?" Robin chuckled.

"well, then, if I am wrong, which I am certain I am not, then things will be awkward between the two of you for a day or so, and then Luffy will forget all about it on the next island." Nami sighed. Despite how much she didn't like it, that DID sound like Luffy. There wasn't a downside, unfortunately.

"I… I'm going to sleep on this one." Nami leaned back in the lawn chair and feel asleep, exhausted from her futile actions to calm her hormones. Robin chuckled.

"Oh, I'm certain of it being mutual. Why else would he be getting that…?"

"…i-swaaaan! We have returned!!" a voice crooned. Nami woke almost immediately.

"Hello, Sanji-kun! Do you need me to lower the ladder?"

"Yes! That would be SUPER of you, little girlie!" Franky called, both his and Sanji's arms full of groceries. Nami ran and lowered the ladder down to them, which they quickly scaled. The rest of the crew followed, carrying their various assorted knick-knacks. Nami glanced through them and frowned. "Where's Luffy?"

"Eh?" said Usopp. "Where DID he go?"

"Idiot captain…" Zoro grumbled. "We haven't seen him all day. He's probably out lost somewhere." Nami refrained from telling him that the only one that got lost was himself. "If he doesn't show soon, we're leaving him."

"Don't worry." Robin smiled. "He'll be here soon. His trip took a bit longer than expected. Nami turned to the older woman.

"You know where he is?"

"Yes. And I know what he's been getting." She said mysteriously. The entire crew, sans Nami and Robin, cocked their heads.

"Eh? Luffy was out getting something?" chopper asked.

"I thought Luffy wasn't allowed to handle money!" said Sanji. Nami blushed faintly.

"He was… very persuasive when he asked me." Robin held up her book to hide her faint smirk. Zoro scoffed.

"Whatever. If he doesn't show soon…"

"And he's coming into sight right… now." Robin declared.

"OOOOOOOI!!!" called Luffy from a distance. The entire crew turned to him, and as one, jerked back.

"EEEEEH!?!" they cried, except for Nami. She was frozen stiff.

"No… no way…" Nami breathed. Luffy was grinning like a madman as he tore through the crowds. His gift parted the people like a hot knife through butter, all confused why such a thing was in the city.

"LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!"

"No fucking way…" Nami breathed.

"You bought a HORSE!?!?" the entire rest of the crew screamed. Luffy shook his head, grinning.

"Nope!! It's a pony!!" Nami felt her eyes tear up at that. The beast was better groomed than the one from her memory, had black splotches throughout its coat instead of being pure white, and was significantly younger than the one that visited her town, but there was no mistaking it. Luffy had ACTUALLY gone and bought Nami a pony.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST BUY US A PONY!?!?!" Zoro screamed.

"Because Sanji said that all girls want ponies!! I thought it'd be a great present!!" Luffy grinned. Sanji turned pale white as the ire of the male population of the ship turned on him.

"I-IDIOT!! I said all LITTLE girls want ponies!! Not grown-ups!!!" the cook screamed, trying to save face for convincing Luffy to go on a harebrained scheme. Nami ignored all this as she climbed down the ropes and slowly walked over to Luffy.

"Luffy…" she started, blushing faintly, with happy tears in her eyes. "Luffy, did you get this for me?" Luffy nodded and grinned, immensely pleased with himself.

"Yep! I got it for you! You know, since I forgot to get you a present for your birthday a while ago!" Nami's hand shot to her mouth.

'A pony for her birthday… every little girl's fantasy…' she thought to herself. Oh, that's it. She wasn't letting this one get away from her. With lightning fast speed, the orange-haired girl had her captain locked in a tight embrace.

"Thank you Luffy." She whispered in his ear. "Did you know I really wanted a pony when I was a little girl?" Luffy's breath tickled her ear.

"Robin said something to that effect." He breathed in a low, sexy voice, sending shivers up her spine. So Robin was actually playing matchmaker on the ship. She'd have to remember to dedicate half of their next loot haul to the library fund.

"But you know…" Nami began, nibbling on his ear a bit. The satisfied groan out of him made her knees weak. "That's not what I actually want now." Luffy sucked in a sharp breath.

"but-" he said, panicked.

"Shhh…" Nami soothed, rubbing the small of his back. "I said that wasn't what I want NOW." She drew back so they were face to face, while still in each other's arms. "All girls want ponies when they're younger, but that changes when we grow up." Nami grinned a predatory grin. "Now, we want STUDS." And with those final words, Nami launched herself at Luffy, and into the single most breathtaking kiss of her life. As the two clutched each other tighter and tighter, the crew of the Thousand Sunny stared, dumbstruck, at what was playing out beneath them.

"Ponies… why didn't I think… of ponies…" Sanji mumbled, his cigarette having fallen from his lips quite some time ago.

"Whoa…" was all Zoro could manage.

Nam didn't really care about the crowds of civilians staring at them and giggling. She didn't care about her crewmates staring at them as if they had both grown second heads. To be quite honest, she didn't even really care about the pony too much, either. All she cared about was the straw-hat-wearing, ship-sailing, stare-giving, pony-buying man she was trying to suck all the air out of.

'Princes are overrated,' she thought, as Luffy's tongue snaked into her mouth, 'and horses can't travel over water. Give me a pirate captain and a ship and I'll sail into any sunset with him.' And then she realized something. 'hehe… three of my fantasies that I thought were going to stay that way, just became real… getting a pony, getting Luffy, and getting my Captain Charming to whisk me away.'

'So I wonder about my final fantasy…'

Hehe. I had far too much fun writing a horny and in-love Nami. I also liked writing her appraisal of the crew, I giggled a few times through that. Is that weird for a guy to like writing a girl's point of view? I dunno. Still thought it was insanely fun. I felt like that was somewhat in character for Nami, but if anybody wants to call BS on it, feel free. I won't mind.

The card basically said what Nami's little speech to Luffy said. It ended with some shirtless cowboy-type on the inside cover. The funny thing is that for most of the women I know in real life, it's completely true.

If any of you are wondering, no, this is not the story for the poll on my profile. That one is still in the works. This is completely unrelated to that.

Read, review and all that jazz!

The Animaniac Dude.