There are two sides to every coin

So here is what I hope will happen in season 8 :) I wrote it one way but then changed it, I will be honest I hate this story its a pile of crap but i wrote it so im gonna post it any way, hope you like it.

I do not own GA, CO they belong to Sonda and to ABC lucky them

I sit in my car, numb and shocked. Did that really happen? Questions running through my mind, where do we go from here ? The enormity of the whole thing, I think my marriage just ended, I'm feeling sick to my stomach, my head hurts, I feel lost and alone. The man who always vowed he would stay no matter what just kicked me out, it hits me and the damn burst of tears comes in huge gulps.

I stare at the empty space where minutes ago my wife have stood, the anger cursing through my veins, the woman I vowed to never leave. I was angry asking her to leave is not what I want of ocurse but I need space and she needs it too.

I see him. He won't look at me, he turns away and leaves. I see him everywhere in the cafeteria, in the OR, the ER, the entrance on his way home to our home. He won't talk to me, I am nothing to him now. No, not nothing I am his biggest disappointment in life, the wife who gave him nothing.

I leave, I go home to Meredith, I sleep in Alex's bedroom I listen to the baby cry, I cry for the husband I might of have lost, for the baby I can't keep, for the life I can't let myself have.

I see her everywhere, I can't look at her. It hurts to turn away from your soul mate, it really does but, I need space. To see her, to talk to her reminds me of what she will do, of what I am loosing and how the hell I will ever forgive her. Part of me wants to hold her close and tell her that I don't care, that it doesn't matter, but a bigger part of me knows that's total crap and if I let her back now, the damn abortion would hang over us like a cloud and tare us apart. It's better this way.

The night before I laid in my bed and I thought, I thought of Owen, I thought of the baby and what having this baby would mean to Owen. Choosing to terminate this pregnancy was hard but that was before, now I know that doing so will end my marriage, will rob me of my soul mate and the life we've been buliding for ourselves. Now it's fucking impossible. I think of my career and how hard I have worked, I think of Meredith who grew up unloved and neglected. I don't want that for my child, I don't want my child to grow up like that. So this is the best, this is the best I keep telling myself this over and over again, its for the best, mabye in time Owen will forgive me.

The night before I wanted to call her, I wanted to be there for her. I know my wife, people call her a robot, they say she's heartless but I know this is killing her. She said all but admitted she'd love this baby but she will never admit it, so I know she's going through hell, she needs me but this time I can't be there, I can't. When I get there I get there too late they tell me she has been and gone.

The night after I lay there and I think of this choice I made, I feel sick, my head hurts, I'm not sure, I am even less sure than yesterday. I feel terrified, but deep down I had too much to loose, way too much. I love him I've been a week without him and I've been a mess. How would I survive a lifetime? But even now I am still afraid it's too much, too late.

In told him today, I told him he was going to be a father. He looked at me, he didn't say a word, he looked shocked surprised, he pulled me in and held me close, we sat their awhile holding each other, not speaking just clinging on for dear life, all I can think of is how lucky I am to have this kind forging man.

Today we saw our baby. She cried. I held her hand.

Later we talked and I told her that I loved her and that I am happy with her decision, I think she will too eventualy.

It's been 6 weeks already little peanut It's weird talking to a sonogram picture.

We saw you today on the screen. I admit I was still totaly unsure until I heard your heartbeat.

I have heard many heartbeats before, little peanut, but yours is the best heartbeat I have ever heard. There is something beautiful and special about your heartbeat, mabye because I made that heartbeat.

She's slowly changing. She looks amazing pregnant. Pregnancy has given her curves and a fuller figure. It's hard to be in the same room with her these days. I just want to tare off all her clothes and make passionate love to her.

I blame the hormones but we talked. We've stayed up nearly all night talking and crying and I told him about my fears. I find it easier to talk these days. It could be because I cry at almost anything like a stupid girl and it's all poured out. I told him how I missed him, how much I loved him and how in that day I was so selfish and how sorry I was that I nearly let our peanut go. He held onto me and told me I will make a brilliant started on the baby's room, which freaked me out. I mean I know nothing about babies.

I am going crazy with all this stuf we need to buy. And the books, I have been studying the books like crazy. If Meredith can do this I guess so can I, right ?

Cristina is huge, I mean huge and she's crabby and she cries or shouts, and it's all my fault. I made her do this. I ignore her. I am about 80 percent sure it's the hormones, but with Cristina you can never really tell.

I wake up in the middle of the night.

I have 6 weeks left and I'm terrified. I am Cristina Yang. I don't do babies, I don't know babies. I know nothing about raising babies.

Owen must have heard. he holds me and I unload my fears. He is kind, he holds me and I feel safe him his arms,we kiss and then we make love, not easily I admit, but somehow we do.

I wake up with my pregnant wife and I feel happy and I feel love.

I love her, she's not perfect, but she is trying harder these days.

She doesnt know it but I watch her a lot, talking to her belly. It's cute, she's still Cristina, just a lot more Cristina and the hormones make her a lot more emotional.

It fucking hurts and that fucking moron is standing there grinning like a fucking cheshire cat, because he's so fucking happy, he rubs my back, he gives me the fucking gas and air, I want to hit him and slap him, but I don't because the contraction subsides and I collaps on the bed trying to remember that breathing thing he's banging on about.

Cristina Yang in labour is scary and I frankly fear for my life. I hate to see her in this much pain, but she is adamant. That Cristina Yang doesn't need drugs and she will do this the natural way. I rub her back and offer her the gas and air. She glares at me, but takes it, the contraction goes I let out a sigh of relief. This is gonna be a long night but I can't help but grin.

I push for what it seems a lifetime. I feel like crap and it hurts and I am regretting not having taken pain killers. I push, I scream, I feel the baby slip out, I lay back, they lay her on my chest and I look at her. I'm feeling overwhelmed but it's a good feeling, her dark blue eyes she has inherited from her daddy, the rest is all me with her dark hair and her Asian featues, and like I said I have a baby and I love her.

I hold my daughter while her exausted mother sleeps and I am just content to hold her and to stare at her. She's beautiful and she is mine and I feel good. Me and Cristina have been to hell and back since the day we met but now whatever happens we have our little girl, our little Maya.

The End