THIS CHRISTMAS IS JACKED UP

I. Penelope Garcia would have never thought I would see the day when I would have lost my hot stuff to one of my dearest and closes friend. Yep that's right "my" Derek was now establishing a very very close relationship with none other than one of Ms. Emily Prentiss.

I mean I know I was in a long term relationship with a certain curly haired technical analyst, but that was quickly over after I caught him in my bed... yep my bed. with someone other than me. Derek happened to be with me that night and he nearly ripped Kevin to pieces. After that every thing was fine, me and Derek became the way we use to be. The flirting picked back up, it actually got worse. We had more movie nights, we had more sleep overs, more cuddle time, more kissing time.

But soon it all stopped, no explanation, no nothing. He just soon drifted more towards Emily. And I started talking to a new guy, and to be honest I knew that wasn't going to last long, which it didn't. Me and Derek hasn't been the same since. Did I like this, no I didn't but obviously Derek didn't mind and that was fine with me, as long as he was happy.

So that leaves me here today sitting in the break room preparing to eat my sandwich and salad, I brought for lunch today. This has been a normal thing for me now, since Derek started spending his lunch break with Emily. Some days JJ would spend her lunch break with me, but she decided to work through lunch today.

I was in the middle of my lunch when I heard the giggling and laughter that only belong to Emily and Derek, before they walked in and their giggling and stopped.

"Hey PG, how's your lunch going, why are you in here all by yourself" Emily asked.

What type of question is that, how does it look like it goings, doesn't it look like I'm sitting here in this lonely break room all by myself.

"Hey Ems, JJ decided to work through lunch today" I gave a small smile as Derek looked everywhere but at me. Has it really gotten that bad to where he can't even look at me any more.

"Oh, care to have two extra people join you" she asked

"Um yea sure, go ahead have a seat." I told her as she grabbed Derek's arm as she pulled him into the seat next to her. A shot of jealously shot through me, as I watched her as she gave Derek a smile and he smiled back.

"So PG are you done with your christmas shopping yet, I just love how you decorated the bullpen, it's got everyone in the Christmas spirit, even Morgan here and you know how much he hates christmas" she said as she began to laugh. She reached into the bags and pulled out their food, and sat it in front of them. She handed Derek his fork as he handed her, her drink. That's when I noticed that they were eating from the little Italian restaurant that me and Derek always went too.

"I don't dislike christmas, I just dislike all the shopping and traveling." Derek finally spoke up.

"Yea yea yea Mr. Grinch. that's the best part" Emily argued back.

"So you're telling me you like traveling to see your mom and all her ambassador friends, and shopping in large crowds." He argued

"Nooo but I love seeing my nieces and nephews opening the gifts that I give them, I enjoy spending time with my family. Kind of" she said as they began to laugh.

I cleared my throat "sooo any special plans, this year. Derek are you still going to Chicago" I asked him.

"No. Not this year" was his short reply. As he began to eat his food.

"Oh um what about you Ems, are you traveling somewhere this year." I asked her.

"No. I think everyone is staying behind this year for the annual christmas party."

"Oh yea I totally forgot. I can't wait, it was so fun the year before last. Especially when Reid got totally hammered and he decided he wanted to be a singer, and got up in front of everybody and started singing Rick James" I said as Me and Em laughed at the memory.

I started to clean up my area, my lunch time was no where near over, but I couldn't sit here while Derek ignored me. I stood up from my chair as I zipped my lunch bag up I said. "Um you guys have a nice rest of your lunch, thanks for joining me but I really should get back to work."

"But Pen, you didn't even eat your food, why didn't you eat" Em asked

I looked down to my bag "um I'm just not hungry anymore. -"

"Penelope here eat the rest of my food, you hate Ham, and today you brought a ham sandwich." Derek said as he looked up at me, and stretched out his plate to me.

"No it's fine Morgan, I have some other snacks in my lair in case I get hungry. But thanks for offering, you guys enjoy the rest of your lunch" I said as I headed towards the door.

"Are you sure, I don't mind giving it to you." He said.

I smiled as a joke popped into my head but I decided against it and Just said "I'm sure thanks" and walked out the door as a tear slid down my cheeks. I have lost my best friend to my best friend only a couple of days before Christmas. Thanks Santa. I finally let it all out once I made it to my office.

DEREK

"What the hell Derek, why were you like that towards here" Emily scolded.

"I don't know, I don't know. Today she just looks sooo damn beautiful-" I shook my head.

"And you're trying to give her time and space, because of the recent situation."

"Yea Em, I mean for years I have waited for her to dump that loser, but because of him cheating, and her actually catching him. Considering my track record she must hate men like me now. I don't know what to do, I hate not talking to her, or being with her everyday."

"Morgan are you ready to be in a serious committed relationship with her"

"Hell yea I am. I have been ready ever since the horrible day before she got shot. But I'm worried, and scared all at the same time."

"Worried and scared about what."

"Em I was there after the aftermath of the Lynch situation. She cried, she fought me, hell she hated me. Because she said all men are dogs. And we all know my track record, if all men are dogs I must be the leader of the pack. I mean sure we started to rebuild our friendship but I managed to push my feelings to the back and allow her time to heal properly but you want to know what happened...What happened was she started to see some new guy, and once again I was left in the dust."

"Oh Derek you guys really need to have a sit down and talk-"

"I'm planning on it. I want to put my feelings all out there, lay them on the table, but I want to do it in a special way. Show here that I'm all in and I want it done before Christmas, can you help me."

"Oh my god yes, Christmas is when, next Thursday, that gives us a full week soo we need to get started like asap."

"Yea meet me at my truck, after work and we can head to the mall, I need to pick out some gifts."

"Yea ok, good I'm happy for you Morgan, you and Pen will be great together."

"I hope so but I really have some making up to do, I was kind of harsh to her."

"Noooo you don't say, I thought you were being soooo super duper nice to her" she laughed as she went back to eating her lunch.

I grabbed my plate and headed towards her lair. I knocked on her door, and waited. I got no answer so I tried twisting the door knob, it was locked. Where the hell could she have went. I walked down the hall to JJ'S office. I knocked and waited for her reply as she yelled out "come in" I opened the door and walked in.

She looked up from her papers "what can I do for you Morgan" she said looking back down at the files on her desk.

"Have you seen Penelope, her door is locked, and I need to talk to her."

"Oh now you want to talk to her. But she's not here, she wasn't feeling well , so she called someone to come pick her up and take her home."

"Why didn't she just drive Esther."

"Wowww um you really haven't been paying attention to anything. In case you haven't noticed I'm going to tell you. Esther hasn't been running in about a month now, she has been catching rides with us and taking cabs back and forth to work and home. Now if you will excuse me Morgan I have to get back to work."

"Yea, yea will you tell Hotch that I'm taking the rest of the day off"

"Yea"

And with that I turned and headed to my office and packed up my stuff and headed out to my car. I haven't been paying much attention lately and I have sooo much apologizing to do.

PEN

After what went down in the break room today, I just wasn't feeling up to do anymore work. Since Esther had broke down on me a couple months ago I called my youngest brother Peyton to come pick me up. He decided to come visit me for Christmas.

I was in the middle of fixing us lunch when my cellphone rung from in my bedroom at the same time it was a knock on the door.

"Hey Pey will you get that please" I called out over my shoulder. I picked up my phone that was on the night table by my bed.

"Hello"

"Oh Pen, I do believe Morgan is on his way to your place. I told him you wasn't feeling well and he stormed out." Came JJ voice on the other end.

"Oh that must be him at the door, I'll call you back Jayje"

DEREK

I made it to Pen's place and I prepared everything I was going to say to her. I made it to her door and decided against using my key and instead knocked on the door. The door finally opened and instead of seeing my baby girl, I was
met, with a slightly buffed guy wearing a tank top and a pair of jeans, who didn't have any shoes on, but instead was wearing socks. I looked him up and down trying to decide if I noticed him from any where. I didn't, it must be a new boyfriend of hers"

"Hi can I help you" he said.

"Um I was looking for - " I was cut off by Penelope.

"Pey who's at the door" she said as she walked over and he threw his arm around her shoulder. "Oh hi Derek what are you doing here" she smiled at me.

"Yea what am I doing here, It's very obvious what's going on, I'll see you at work Garcia" and with that said I turned and walked away. I headed straight to my car and shot Emily a quick text telling her that we had to put our plans on hold, and then I headed to the nearest bar I could find.

I have lost my future to someone else. She has found happiness once again, and I have been kicked to the curb once again.

"Ughh this is going to be a jacked up christmas" I said as I turned the radio up as loud as it could go and with you last look at the apartment and a shake of my I headed out to drown my sorrows in a couple of glasses of Jack.