AN ~ I almost surprised myself with this fic, as it's very dynamic turn from my usual fanfare of R/Hr romance (Though R/Hr is included - can I get a resonating "Duh!", anyone?), as it is sort of dark and angsty. But nevertheless, it has been screaming and kicking to be written for a long while now, so at last I gave it mercy. And where the song's concerned, I usually spout off with how awesome of a song it is for the two people in my fic, and that you should download it right away. This time, however, I'll just tell you - catch it next time it's on the radio, and wonder which two best friends it reminds you of. . . enjoy ;-)
dedicated to Jen, a.k.a. sunshyndaisies, for seeing and knowing so deeply how valiant Ron Weasley really is. :-) hugsXX, ~dt.
***
Wind Beneath My Wings
-dutchtulips-
***
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind
Seventeen-year-old Harry Potter was not going to lie to himself, how much he was dreading this excursion, but no matter how honest he was with himself, it didn't stop him from feeling extremely guilty. As he slowly trudged down the second floor corridor of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Harry tried desperately to calm his shaking nerves that were literally fighting to break out of his skin. His anxiety though, was just the tip of the iceberg. Harry couldn't deny to himself that the most abundant emotion churning inside of him was. . .
Fear.
Though Harry was no stranger to fear, either. But in his life, whenever he'd felt truly afraid, it often accompanied anger or frustration. His fear he was feeling right now was an emotion that was completely dismal, partnered by nothing else but more fear. But it was different, as well. It was a terror not for himself, but for somebody else.
"Harry! Oh, Harry!"
The jet-haired young man pulled his gaze away from his feet and to the corridor ahead of him, where he could see a scared, brown-eyed girl rushing towards him. As she came closer, it was obvious to Harry that she'd been crying.
"Oh, Harry, thank God you've finally come," Hermione breathed, embracing her best friend. "I've been with him all night. . .I don't know what's going to happen. . ."
Harry hugged back briefly, and then let go to look back at Hermione. "I've felt like kicking myself all day. I should've been saying here like you. After all, the three of us were together when it happened. . ."
He continued his pace up the hallway, Hermione falling in step beside him. "Don't blame yourself, Harry. You know it wasn't your fault."
"No, actually, I really don't. Voldemort had been coming after me," Harry replied as the two of them turned into the room Hermione had just previously came out of. "Ron. . .well, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
She turned to face him, after they'd just gotten inside the door. "Stop it, Harry. This isn't your fault," Hermione said fiercely. Settling her gaze on the sight in front of the duo, her voice suddenly became very tearful. "He's going to be okay."
Harry stared too at scene, as Hermione abruptly rushed forward and slowly took Ron's hand inside both of her own, pressing it up against her face, kissing each knuckle tenderly.
This had been the moment Harry was dreading most of all. His best friend was lying, immobile, in the hospital bed, looking pale and weak as he slept. A slow, coursing pain started to bleed into Harry as he stared at Ron, the sight making him want to weep and look away, but at the same time finding it impossible to look anyplace else.
Almost in a trance, Harry stepped forward, to Ron's other side, and sat in the chair there, resting his elbows on the bed's mattress as he continued to stare at his best friend. After a few moments of hesitation, he reached over and tentatively patted the top of Ron's other hand, sighing deeply. As he did so, he looked back over at Hermione, who was affectionately stroking his red hair.
I can only imagine how terrible this has been for Hermione, as well, Harry thought. After all, she and Ron love each other more than life. We all knew he'd literally die for Hermione if he had to. And then, in a guilty, wry sort of way, Harry thought, I suppose maybe I'll just have to do.
And then the strangest thing happened; out of nowhere, he felt a sudden surge of hope. Harry didn't have any idea where it was coming from, as how he hadn't had very much to feel hopeful for these past few days, but suddenly it came bursting forth from his soul, drowning his thoughts.
But you've got to pull through, Ron, you've got to. Hermione and I couldn't go on living if you don't. You've got to survive, to show that damned Voldemort that none of us are going to take his torments lying down anymore. You're stronger than anyone else I know, Ron, and you're going to make it. . .you've. . .you've got to make it. . .
". . .Harry. . .Hermione?"
Harry awoke from his daydreams with a jolt as he heard a faint voice calling his name. Darting his emerald eyes down upon Ron, he noticed with a great, great sigh of relief, that the redhead's eyes were sliding open groggily.
"Oh, oh, thank God!" Hermione exclaimed, weeping, as she leaned down and wrapped her arms around Ron, burying his wet face into his neck. As she was embracing him, Ron's blue eyes settled onto Harry, for whom he managed a watery smile for. Harry returned it, grinning so hard he thought he'd bust.
His nerves were completely shattered now, a mixture of emotions racing through his body, and as Hermione at last let go of Ron, after giving him a great big kiss, Harry said softly, "So, how're you feeling, mate?"
"Well, I reckon I've been tons better, but not so bad, considering," Ron replied, his voice still rather weak, but surely identifiable as the redhead's.
"Yeah, that Cruciatus curse is no Sunday walk in the park," Harry replied, and scoffed to himself.
Ron winced from a twinge of pain as he shifted slightly under his sheets. Hermione's hand grasped the redhead's harder, and he pretended to wince as this as he looked up at her. She smirked back at him.
The redhead looked back over at Harry, asking quietly, "So, what's going to happen now?"
Harry suddenly averted his eyes, and absentmindedly fidgeted with an empty buttonhole on his cloak. After a few black minutes of this, he at last looked back up and answered, "A lot. I - I've got to convene with everyone in the Order later on this evening; after that, well, confrontation with Voldemort we all had. . .two nights ago - with what's happened to you, because of me," he seemed to emphasize, "the time has come. We've got to press Voldemort. We've got to do it now." Harry paused, creating a break in between his report of what was going on, then finally said, "And the Ministry's going to send some Aurors over here before I leave, to protect you and Hermione. She's going to stay with you."
Ron stared. "What do you mean? I'll be fine in a few more hours. I can come with you to rejoin the Order."
Harry nodded vehemently. "No, Ron. You have fully regained your strength yet. I can't let you take the risk." He paused again, his voice dropping quieter. "Plus, Voldemort knows, just as well as I do, that the best way to destroy me would be to strike down everyone I care about, just how he's already tried. I have to go alone."
A long silence engulfed the trio after that. Harry stared sideways at his best friend, and noted the crestfallen look that had taken over Ron's expression, which made him feel even more guilty, that he was actually allowing all of this to happen. So Harry opened his mouth again, to say what he'd wanted to say to Ron the very minute he'd entered the room.
"Look, mate. . ." he began, his voice dropping into sympathy, "I'm really sorry about all of this. About everything."
Ron looked up at him. "There's no need to apologize, Harry, It wasn't your fault."
He shook his head vigorously in disagreement. "No, Ron, don't say that. I mean it. As a matter of fact, everything rotten that has happened to you has been my fault. You've always been shunted over into the corner when the three of us were coming up. And this thing that's happened to you. . .Voldemort was coming for me, but when he couldn't get to me, he unleashed it all on you instead. Another time. . .another time you were used, hurt, ridiculed, because of me. All because of me," Harry finished, half in shame, his throat aching from holding back tears.
So I was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strain,
A beautiful face without a name for so long,
A beautiful smile to hide the pain
Ron's eyes softened upon hearing these words, and he glanced over at Hermione, smiling tenderly up at her; she returned it, more tears cascading down her cheeks, and gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. He looked bewildered, but she sort of nodded.
He turned to look back at his best friend. "Harry. . .I stood up for you. I was trying to protect you. I threw myself into the risk of dying for you. Now, tell me, isn't that what being best friends is all about?"
Harry finally returned Ron's gaze, and started to smile wryly. "That night. . .I was scared out of mind that you might be dead," he replied, his words seeming somewhat far away from what Ron had said. "I just kept thinking to myself. . .'I never got the chance to tell Ron the truth.' "
The redhead looked puzzled for a moment. "How do you mean?"
Harry suddenly reached up to wipe a few tears off his glasses. "You're my hero, Ron."
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I would like to be
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings
Ron looked extremely shocked at hearing these words, as his eyes widened, but Hermione - who'd always had a bigger insight on the boys' friendship than they ever knew - sort of smiled and peered curiously over at Harry.
"I'm - I'm your what?" The redhead exclaimed, bewildered. "Because of what he did. . .?"
"That," Harry replied, and with a quivering smile appearing on his face, "and because of everything we've been through together as friends. Even those few rows we got into. If I hadn't had best friends like Hermione and you to stand behind me, and for you to be so loyal and brave for all of us, I wouldn't be at all the person I turned out to be."
Despite the utter astonishment that was radiating off of Ron at that moment, Harry continued anyway. "If you really want to know the entire truth. . .I suppose maybe I've found myself in envy of you a lot of the time, because you had such a large, caring family who loves you, and I, well, I never had anything like that, you know. Even though your mum and dad and brothers and Ginny all treat me like a son and a brother, and I love them all like a family, it could never quite fill the space that I knew my mum and dad once did, nearly sixteen years ago."
Suddenly he started to smile. "You probably never thought that anyone could ever be envious of you, Ron, because of the way you always felt so overshadowed by everyone you knew. But that's not true. . .I don't think you've ever quite realized your worth, that, you're the best friend I could've ever asked for."
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it,
I would be nothing without you
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be
I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings
Harry, no longer worried about the dryness of his face, was now letting his tears - a sort of mixture between happiness and fear - stream freely. As Ron grinned up at him, Harry told him, "With all of the wizarding world now face-to-face with one of the scariest times it will know - with myself in practically in the lead - I wanted to let you know all of that, before it might be too late."
Ron seemed at a loss for all coherent words. He looked over at Hermione, and they shared a pair of loving smiles, clutching each other's hands tighter, and then turned back to Harry. Finally managing to hook some syllables together, Ron replied genuinely, "Thanks, mate. Thanks a lot. For everything."
"No, Ron," Harry grinned, "Thank you."
Suddenly from Ron's other side, Hermione let out a sob, tears splashing down her front. "You two are so stupid!" She laughed through her weeping. "I can't believe it's taken the two of you this long!"
Ron and Harry exchanged amused glances, remembering a scene like this from three years earlier, and then looked over at their best friend. " 'Mione, you're nutters," Ron jested, reaching out his hand, which Hermione had previously released, and slipped it around her waist, pulling her snugly against him.
"Well, you are," She insisted, smiling down at him, wiping off her cheeks.
Suddenly, breaking the moment of quiet, Harry said, "Just stay that way for a minute longer," he requested of them, and they looked up, still holding each other, "In case I never see you two again, the way you two are right now is the way I want to remember Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger for the rest of my life."
"You'll see us again," Ron replied, a determination in his voice Harry had never heard before.
His skepticism was edged with anxiety. "You really think so, Ron?"
"I know so," he replied. "The Order will be with you. . .even if I'm not. Just keep in mind, Harry, that we'll always be with you in spirit, and I know how much that means to you."
"Everything," Harry replied. "I'd be nothing without my best friends."
Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings,
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings
After a quick glance out the window and at the dusty sunset, Harry slowly got to his feet, meeting Ron's and Hermione's eyes. "I, er, I reckon Sirius and everyone will be waiting for me, now. . ."
The bushy-haired girl got to her feet and walked over to her best friend, engulfing him in a caring, sisterly hug. "You watch after yourself, Harry. Everything will be okay, I promise."
He returned it gratefully. "Thanks, Hermione. I'll be thinking of you."
She let go of him and smiled, her eyes brimming with tears again.
Harry stepped forward towards Ron's bed, outstretching his hand for the redhead to shake, which he did. They exchanged a pair of grins, and then suddenly Harry leaned over to hug Ron. "Remember, mate, you're the wind beneath my wings."
Harry let go a few moments later to a beaming Hermione and Ron, at last starting for the door, and raising his hand towards them in good-bye as he disappeared from the room.
As he did so, Hermione rejoined Ron's bedside, lovingly intertwining their fingers again, and resting her head against Ron's shoulder. They sat this way quietly for a very long time before the silence was broken by Ron.
Craning his neck down to look at her, he said softly, "Thinking about Harry?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Yeah, me too," he replied. "What do you think's going to happen?"
"I don't really know," she admitted. "What do you think's ahead of all of us?"
"A lot of things, 'Mione. A lot of things," Ron said softly, twirling a curl of Hermione's long nutmeg locks around one finger. "But Harry'll be all right. I can feel it. He's one of the three most powerful wizards of our time. You-Know-Who can't possibly strike him down now, strong as Harry's become."
"And really, haven't we all perceived so anyway, since his was suddenly the name known from every corner of the wizarding world? That Harry Potter, our best friend, would ultimately be the one to save us all?" Hermione whispered.
Ron smiled knowingly, wrapping both his arms round her as she laid against the hospital bed next to him. "Yes, yes, I think so, too."
Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
So high I almost touched the sky
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.
***
el fin
***