After Shock
Moments Later
Harry, Ron, and Hermione left the Headmaster's office after placing the Unbeatable Wand on the desk. As they walked down the stairs, Hermione and Ron told Harry about what had happened during his battle with Voldemort. As he listened, Harry felt a twinge of disbelief hit him.
Is it true, he thought
Before he knew it, Harry was running toward the Great Hall. Ron and Hermione picked up their pace and followed as quickly as their sore bodies would allow them to. When they entered, they saw Harry staring at the side of the hall where the Weasleys, less Ron, were huddled. Harry took a few tentative steps forward and felt his heart drop.
"NO," Harry yelled suddenly.
"It is true then," he whispered to himself.
At that moment Ginny looked up at him with a tear streaked face and red eyes. Harry suddenly felt as though there wasn't enough air in the room. Turning on a heel he ran, pushing past Ron and Hermione in the process.
As he ran, Harry began to feel as if his insides were dying, his mind haunted with five new faces adding to those that had been there before. Looking for a place to hide and let go of his grief, Harry went to the Room of Requirement.
Upon arriving he found that the door had been left open. Harry ran inside, slamming the door shut behind him and slumped down in the darkest corner he could find. He didn't bother to try to change the room as he didn't have the energy left. Once he was sure he couldn't easily be spotted, Harry gave in to his sorrow.
So many, and why did this have to happen to them, he thought.
He closed his eyes as the tears in them began to flow free, only to see those faces. The faces of Fred and Remus and Tonks and Snape haunted him but not as much as Ginny's. It unnerved him to think that something had made Ginny cry and it was his fault.
If only I could have finished it sooner, he thought.
A noise caught Harry's attention. He looked up slightly to see the door opening and Ginny walking through it.
Ginny heard someone scream, "NO," and looked toward the voice's source to see Harry. Her first thought at that moment was, At least he's safe.
No sooner than that thought had crossed her mind, Harry turned and ran, nearly knocking Ron and Hermione over in the process.
Ginny got up and whispered to her mum, "Harry, Ron and Hermione are safe".
Mrs. Weasley looked at Ron and Hermione.
"Where's Harry," she asked Ginny.
"He ran out, but I think I know where he's going," Ginny answered.
Mrs. Weasley sighed heavily. Looking back over at Ron she noticed that Ginny was walking toward the door. She got up and caught her daughter about half way.
"Where do you think you're going," Mrs. Weasley demanded.
"To find Harry," Ginny answered shortly.
"Why," Mrs. Weasley asked, although she knew part of the answer already.
Mrs. Weasley knew that Harry would have been extremely upset to see Fred, Remus, and Tonks lying dead. She also knew that he would blame himself and feel like he wouldn't be wanted anywhere near her family.
He just needs some time, Mrs. Weasley thought.
"To let him know that we're here for him," Ginny answered, "and to let him know that we, that I, love him," she added under her breath.
Ginny turned away from her mother and walked out of the Great Hall.
As she wandered the corridors, Ginny tried to think of all of the places that Harry might go. Her first stop was Gryffindor Tower, but she remembered that Harry had not been at school all year. Ginny stopped again when she reached the library thinking that he could have snuck in but found herself laughing at that though.
Only Hermione would hide in there, she thought.
Then it hit her. Ginny ran to the seventh floor and made her way to the hallway that held the entrance to the Room of Requirement.
When Ginny reached the door she noticed that it was closed but still visible. At first she was confused thinking that Harry would have sealed the room, but decided that he would most likely be exhausted from the battle and too upset from what he had seen in the Great Hall to have changed the room. As quietly as she could Ginny opened to door just enough for her to get through. She scanned the room to see if Harry was there and spotted a slight movement in a dark corner.
"Harry," Ginny said softly.
Harry didn't answer but turned away from Ginny as much as he could. Ginny saw this and felt her heart break. She knew what had to be going through his head right now and, even though she didn't know what he and his friends had been through for the last few months, she knew what he was going through now.
"Harry don't," Ginny said softly, hoping that he would look at her. Harry turned a bit more as he tried to hide his face from her. Ginny understood what he was trying to do. After a moment she walked over to him and sat down with her back to his. Leaning back she settled against Harry. Harry felt her warmth against him and fought the urge to give in to it.
I killed them as clean as if it had been my own wand, he thought.
Somehow, Ginny knew that Harry would do just what he is now, shutting everyone out. It hurt to think that he would do this now when her family, when she, needed him. She also knew that he would feel as though everything that had happened over the course of the last year was his fault. With these thoughts in mind Ginny sat back to back with Harry, hoping her presence would be of some comfort to him.
Harry sighed softly after a few moments. Something told him that Ginny wasn't going to leave and somehow that thought comforted him. Harry leaned back against Ginny, finally giving in to her warmth. The two of them sat like this for quite a while. Harry sat content in his grief but taking comfort in Ginny's presence while Ginny sat determined to show Harry how much she cared for him and was ready to do anything he needed. At some point, Ginny changed the room so that no one could just walk in and invade on Harry and her. She knew that someone would eventually be looking for them but she wanted to make sure that she and Harry would only be found when they were ready to be.
After an hour passed Harry finally spoke.
"Ginny, why did you come looking for me," he asked.
"I thought that you should know that we are all here for you and that we all love you," she answered.
Harry took a deep breath as he took in her words. He knew that the Weasleys thought of him as family as did Hermione, but right now he felt as though he had lost all of his family. With Remus Lupin dead, he lost his last link to his parents. Then there was Tonks. Her death saddened him even more because her son would never know his parents. Harry decided at that moment to make sure that Remus and Dora's son, his Godson, knew everything about his parents and was loved. He couldn't stand to think that his Godson would grow up without a mum and dad as he, Harry, had. His thoughts then turned to Fred. This death hurt even more. Harry felt like he had lost a brother. Without warning Harry felt tears flowing once again. Ginny heard him give a slight sniffle and turned.
"Harry," she said softly.
Unable to answer and unwilling to let her see him cry, Harry pulled his knees to his chest and put his head down. Ginny immediately knew what he was doing. She slid around so that she could look at him and gently placed her arm over his shoulders. Harry tried to pull away but Ginny had other ideas. With her free hand she lifted his chin and turned his head so that she could see his face.
"Harry don't hide this, not from me," Ginny said.
Harry could hear the concern and love in her voice. As much as he wanted to hide his crying from her, he couldn't any longer. He turned to face Ginny allowing her to see his face without holding his chin.
"Why do you care about me? I cost you a brother tonight," Harry said through his tears.
Ginny felt the sadness in his question more than heard it.
"Because, Harry, I love you. I know that you're hurting, but so am I. We're sharing the same hurt, you and me, and I want to be with you right now. I want you to know that it's going to be okay," Ginny said.
With that she wrapped her arms around Harry, pulling him to her. Harry relaxed into Ginny's embrace and wrapped his arms around her. At some point while the pair sat holding each other, Harry started to understand why he was hurting. Each of those he had lost had held a place in his heart, including Ginny. With Ginny there holding him one of the many holes left by those losses seemed to have filled. It was this thought that comforted him most. All of the wounds that he had received would eventually heal, even those that ran the deepest, but the one he had received when he broke up with Ginny had been erased by her display of love and determination to be with him.
Five Days Later
Harry sat in his room at Grimmauld Place feeling as though he shouldn't be there. Even after five days he still felt as though he was to blame for the deaths of those whose lives were going to be remembered in a few hours. Having reluctantly come here with the Weasleys, he had locked himself in this room, only leaving to use the bathroom and to get food; both of which he tried to do when he knew no one would be around. Throughout the five days each of the Weasleys and Hermione had made attempts to visit Harry but the only one he allowed in was Ginny. Several times Hermione had gone as far as beating on the door demanding that he open it, but he either ignored her or refused to respond. After a couple of days it seemed as though Hermione had given up, but she had only waited until she spotted Ginny going through the door to try again, yet Harry never gave in.
This morning, Ginny entered Harry's room and locked the door behind her. She was hoping that he would finally agree to go down and see everyone, but she doubted that he would. It hurt her to see Harry like this, his heart and spirit broken. Although he had progressively gotten better with each of her visits, Ginny knew that his heart would need quite some time to heal.
"Morning Gin," Harry said from his seat near the small desk in his room.
Ginny looked over and noticed the sadness in his eyes.
"You okay this morning," she asked concernedly.
"I dunno. I just can't stop thinking about what is happening today," Harry answered.
Ginny sighed in understanding. She had discovered that Harry had never been to a family memorial service and that he had no idea of what to expect or how to act. She had taken it upon herself to make sure that he understood what would happen and made sure to remind him that he was not to blame for any of the deaths that had occurred five days ago. Throughout the last few days, Ginny managed to talk Harry into sitting with her at the service. She had two reasons for this. First, she wanted to be with Harry so that she could comfort him in whatever way that she could and second, she knew that simply having him next to her would be comforting for herself. Ginny sat down on the bed and sighed again.
"Come over here and sit with me," she said softly.
Harry thought for a moment and then got up to join Ginny. As he sat down Ginny noticed that his posture was stiff and he was keeping his distance. She didn't like how this felt so she decided to get to the reason for her visit.
"Harry, do you remember what I said to you after you defeated Voldemort," she asked.
Harry nodded, looking as though he couldn't speak. Ginny knew that he was trying to close himself off again so she persisted.
"And what did I say," she asked.
"You told me that none of this is my fault," Harry answered, hoping that just this much would satisfy her for now, but it did not.
"And," she said, raising a brow.
"You told me that you are all here for me," Harry added.
Ginny decided to let it go at that knowing that he had omitted her admission of love for him. She understood that he might need more time before he would be able to openly talk to her.
A few hours later, Harry sat beside Ginny and the rest of the Weasley family in the back yard at The Burrow. As the memorial service went on, Ginny noticed that Harry seemed to be lost between keeping his distance and reaching out to her. She knew that he was beginning to sink slowly back into the pit of despair that he had been so close to climbing out of. After several moments Ginny decided that she could not allow that to happen. She reached out to him, despite her own sorrow, and gently wrapped her arm around Harry's shoulders. His posture stiffened at first but he slowly relaxed, giving in slightly to the warmth and comfort of her embrace.
"I'm here Harry, you can cry on my shoulder if you need to," Ginny whispered.
Her words comforted him slightly but didn't seem to sit right in his heart. He felt as though he should be putting up the strong face for her, not the other way around.
When the service ended, Mrs. Weasley invited all of those who had attended to stay for dinner. Of course Harry stayed, but he kept his distance as much as he possibly could. While everyone ate and drank, Harry wandered off toward the pond. Ginny noticed his disappearance and decided to go and find him. After she grabbed a few bottles of butterbeer she set off to look for him.
Ron and Hermione spotted Ginny walking out to the back yard with drinks and followed her to find out what she was up to. They followed her around the yard as she checked each of the places that Harry might go. When Ginny arrived at the pond, she spotted Harry sitting on the bank staring out at the water. Ginny walked over to him as quietly as she could so that she didn't startle him and sat down.
Ron and Hermione caught up and spotted the pair just as Ginny sat down. Hermione set her jaw and started forward, only to be stopped by Ron.
"Let them be," he said quietly.
"Ron he has ignored us for the last five days," Hermione said, hoping to make Ron see her reasoning.
"I know Hermione, and I know that he only let Ginny in to see him," Ron said as he tried to calm Hermione a bit.
"Then you should be just as worried about him," Hermione said.
"I am worried, but something tells me that right now, the only person that can get him through this is Ginny. Call it a gut feeling or whatever you want, but I think she's the only one who'll get through to him," Ron said.
Hermione gave in to his logic for the time being and turned to leave with Ron.
Ginny sat with Harry in silence sipping at a butterbeer. After a few moments of hoping that Harry would say something, she decided to try to start a conversation.
"Harry," she said softly.
He continued to stare at the water.
"Harry," she repeated a bit louder thinking that he may not have heard her.
Harry shifted slightly but continued to stare at the pond's smooth glassy surface.
Ginny took a deep breath as she tried to remind herself that this had been his way over the last few days. She looked over to him hoping that he would look back but was disappointed.
"Fine, you could have told me that you wanted to be alone," Ginny said finally in frustration.
As she got up and turned to leave, Harry sighed sadly.
"Don't go," he whispered.
Ginny turned back to see him looking right at her. His eyes, which always held a look of determination and confidence, looked empty, his face tear streaked.
"What," Ginny asked.
"I said, 'Don't go'," he answered.
"And why shouldn't I? You've been ignoring me for like the last ten minutes," Ginny said irritably.
Harry took a deep breath and let it out before he answered.
"I haven't been ignoring you Ginny. I just don't know what to say," he told her in a sad voice.
"Then why didn't you answer me. I know that you're hurting right now Harry. I just want to help you through it," Ginny said as her frustration began to calm.
"I wish it were that easy Gin. I've never had someone tell me that they love me, or try to comfort me when I was sad. I know that it's hard to think about those things when you've always had them, but I haven't and I don't know what to do," Harry said.
Ginny took on a shell shocked look. She mentally kicked herself for forgetting what Harry had been through for the better part of his life.
"Oh Harry, I'm sorry. You're right, I didn't think about you never having those things," Ginny said as she knelt down in front of him.
"Don't be sorry Gin. Think about how lucky you are to have them," Harry said.
Ginny smile a bit and then took Harry's hand in hers while looking deep into his emerald eyes.
"Harry, you have all of that here," Ginny started as she placed her free hand over his heart, "Your parents, Sirius, Professor Dumbledore, Remus, and Dora, they all loved you. Everyone here loves you Harry. I Love you".
"How can any of you love me after what happened to Fred," Harry asked.
"Fred chose to fight, Harry. He didn't do it because you told him to, he did it because he believed in you. Everyone here believes in you and we all fought because we chose to. We all fought for the one thing that finally brought Voldemort down, the one thing that you have in your heart that defeated him, Harry. Love," Ginny answered.
Harry felt fresh tears begin to spill as she spoke. He turned his gaze away hoping that Ginny wouldn't notice, but she did. Ginny slowly wrapped her arms around Harry pulling him to her in a gentle hug.
"I didn't forget what you said to me when you found me that night Gin. That is the reason that I only let you in to see me. Just having you visit comforted me. The truth is that you were what kept me going while I was gone. I held onto the hope that I could come back after I defeated Voldemort and tell you that I love you. When I found out that Fred was… Well I thought that you'd never forgive me," Harry whispered through his tears.
Ginny felt her own tears build as he spoke.
"How could you think that? I knew that it wasn't your fault. If anyone was to blame it was Voldemort. Besides, my love for you is stronger than that," Ginny told him.
Harry felt her tears begin to wet his collar. After a moment he wrapped his arms around her hoping that a simple hug would help.
Ginny felt his arms around her and suddenly felt safe. She felt as though all of her fears from the last several months had just gone away.
"Harry, I love you," she said softly.
"I love you too, Gin," he replied.
At that Ginny looked up from Harry's shoulder and smiled.
"I think it's time you come in a see everyone," Ginny said.
"I think you're right," Harry replied.
The pair got up together and made their way back toward the house, holding each other's hands. As they got near the door Ginny stopped and turned to Harry.
"So, are we back together," she asked smiling slightly.
"Only if you'll have me," Harry answered.
"So, that's a yes then, but you listen to me Potter, don't you dare go and try being all noble again," Ginny said sternly while her smile got brighter.
"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," Harry said.
The couple walked into the house. Everyone in the kitchen stared at Harry for a moment before he was surrounded by the people whom had been his family for the last six years. They all looked as though they were happy to see him even though they had lost loved ones, but they all shared one thought, Harry Potter had, finally, come home.