By: Cassiopeia & Ryu~I.
Feedback: ryucass@yahoo.com
Archival: Fading Madness production.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius & James/Lily
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: Harry Potter and all characters don't belong to me. Joanne
Rowling, Scholastic & WB own them. (and maybe other people) We're using
them cause book five is taking a really long time and we need our Potter fix.
Summer: James is a weenie, so Remus intervenes.
~*~
Outside Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry the spring air was a perfect 72 degrees and the sun shinning down made everything warm and sparkly giving a peaceful look over the campus. Inside a certain dorm room however, things weren't so sparkly and peaceful. James Potter, fifth year student, sat on his bed with book scattered about for homework with a single sheet of parchment propped up on his leg. Homework, however, wasn't the thing that was on his mind. James was currently doodling a very lovely picture of a certain classmate he's had his eye one for a while, but was a tad nervous about approaching her. She was very pretty after all.
James glanced up when the door opened and Remus and Sirius walked in. At least Remus was trying to walk in; Sirius had him pushed against the doorframe while attacking his neck, one hand slipped under Remus's shirt. "At least this is a little more private," Remus scolded, or tried to. It was difficult to scold while your neck was being nibbled. He just rolled his eyes at Sirius's growled response and pushed away, walking fully into the room. "Hello, James," Remus greeted.
James sighed when Sirius wrapped around Remus again, hand slipping back under the boys shirt, lips automatically going to Remus' neck. "Guys," he said dryly, "I'm not really into voyeurism."
Remus pushed Sirius off him and walked around to sit next to James on the bed. "Sorry, James," he apologized, "I think he's in heat or something." Remus looked up fondly at his boyfriend, amused to see the scowl.
"I'm not in heat," Sirius protested plopping down on the other side of James. "I'm horny, and my boyfriend is hot." He stuck his tongue out at Remus then looked down at what James was doodling. "Whatcha doin' James? Hmmm?" he asked leaning over to get a better view.
"Bug off," James responded. "I'm doing divination."
"Oooh," Sirius cooed lightly, "It looks like you're drooling over the pretty Ms. Evens again." He looked at the paper again before snatching it from James' hands and showing it to Remus. "Looks Moony, He's not such a bad artist."
Remus leaned over and smiled. "It's a nice picture, James. It looks just like her."
James, however, wasn't paying attention to his friend praise; he was too busy glaring at Sirius. "Give it back, Black!" When Sirius just laughed and stuck his tongue out, James pounced, landing on top of the other boy and snatching the paper back. "Go…go… shag Remus or something!" he ignored his friends whine of pain and rolled off him none to gently. "I'm busy." Remus didn't look amused at James's suggestion, especially considering he just had to shove his boyfriend off him.
Sirius looked thrilled at the idea. "Okay!" He agreed before pulling Remus close and kissing him. "But we don't shag." He moved back to his earlier position beside James and looked at the drawing again. "You should tell her you like her. You know, so you can get to the 'James and Lily sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G'" Sirius sang, laughing, completely unaffected by his friends glare.
"Sirius," Remus said softly, "I don't' think you're helping." He re-situating himself at James's side and looked at the paper.
James sighed. "Right. That's easy for you to say, Sirius." He looked over at Remus then back to Sirius before continuing, "You have a… significant other.
"You would too, if you'd talk to her," Remus said before Sirius had the chance to make a comment. "Lily fancies you, James."
James sighed again. "It's not that easy."
"Jamie," Sirius said, knowing full and well James hated that nickname, "Stop being a weenie."
"A what?!"
"A weenie," Sirius repeated. "Take Lily a side and say, 'Ms. Evens, I've noticed you for a while and wanted to know if you would care of accompany me …somewhere' See? Easy. And then you won't be a weenie anymore."
"You just don't know what it's like, because you and Moony are freaks of nature who got together two days after you met," James said huffily.
Remus smiled. "It really wasn't quite that soon," he replied then added after a moment, "four days, at least."
"Right," James said dryly. "Anyway, it's not like I can march up to her like an idiot." He folded his arms across his chest and sulked.
"Yes you do," Sirius assured him. "I've seen Malfoy checking her out. Boy…imagine if he asks her out before you do." Sirius shook his head and clicked his tongue making little 'tsk' sounds. "That would be terrible."
James glared at Sirius. "She'd never go for a greasy arse like him." He paused a moment then muttered under his breath, "some best friend you are."
"Poor Lily," Sirius continued completely unaffected by his friends glare, "the object of Malfoy's affection."
"Besides which," James spoke up again, "you knew Moony liked you when you asked him. You were friends. I barely know Lily."
Remus looked at Sirius and rolled his eyes. "Lucius is seeing Narcissa."
Sirius glared. "You know Moony, you're not very good at this 'tricking into doing' thing," he said huffily. "Really. Shame on you." He looked at James again and the paper lying in front of him with the doodle of Lily. "Fine," he said getting up from the bed, "I'll go ask Lily out for you." Sirius paused by the door and turned, a frown on his face, "she's a Ravenclaw right?"
James stared at his best friend, a look of pure terror across his face. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Yep!" Sirius assured him, "here I go."
Remus interrupted before his boyfriend had a chance to get out the door, "I think perhaps I should ask. I have a little more tact than you do."
"No, no!" Sirius protested, "I've got it covered."
"You should stay here and hold James down."
James, who had been sitting with his jaw around his waist for the last part of the conversation, suddenly found his voice and used it. "I think not!" he yelled hopping up from the bed.
Sirius grinned and pounced, sending him and James back to the bed. The two began to wrestle for a bit until Sirius managed to get James' hands pinned to the bed. "Go on, Lovely," he yelled to Moony, still fighting to pin the rest of the wiggling boy under him, to the bed.
"You stay away from her, Sirius Black!"
"Don't worry, Remus'll ask her out," Sirius said laughing. "Cause you're such a weenie."
"Siriuuuuus," James whined. He moved, wiggling from under Sirius and started to wrestle the boy to the bed.
"See you later," Remus called, waving and making a run for the door while the other two were still fighting.
"LUPIIIIIIIIN!" James yelled after him. "I'll kill you both!!"
~*~
Remus stopped running when he reached the library and peeked in. He smiled and said a quiet, "aha" to himself before straightening his robs and making his way for to the table where Lily sat. "Hullo, Lily."
The girl he was speaking to looked up and smiled. "Hello," she greeted with a warm smile.
"Mind if I sit with you?" Remus asked even though he'd taken the seat next to her when he walked up. Luckily, Lily didn't protest. She laid her quill to the side of her paper and waited for him to continue speaking. "You know James Potter?" he asked. "You had a project with him in double Care of Magical Creatures last year."
Lily smiled and a fait blush crossed her cheeks. "Of course. Most people know James Potter." She chuckled slightly before speaking again. "He makes sure of that."
"True," Remus agreed. "He's rather noisy, at that. However, as someone who spends nearly every moment of every day with James, there's something I know about him that most people don't."
"Oh?" She asked, now curious as to what Remus was referring too. It was true, everyone in the school did know James. Due to his exceptional flying in Quidittch and all the pranks he pulled, it was hard not to know James Potter. "What's that?"
Remus grinned and lowered his voice. "He's shy," he said in a way that would make any nosy listeners want to listen even more. "You see, there's this girl he's had his eye on since third year, but he's too shy to say anything about it. Now, since you're a girl, I thought I'd ask your opinion on his chances."
Lily laughed, then blushed when she noticed people around her giving her a strange look. "Sorry," she said still giggling slightly. "So, James isn't asking me himself because he's shy?"
"What's so funny? You don't want to help me?" Remus asked, sounding wounded. "And asked you what?" His voice was low and get gave Lily a look of complete innocents that to most people would mean he was anything but innocent.
"Well," Lily said after a show of thinking, "I'm wondering if you're going to be the mediator between us from now on." A look of complete seriousness crossed her face. "I mean, if he can't even ask me out…"
"Did I say anything about you?" Remus asked looking puzzled. "I mean, being the girl he likes?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "You can tell James Potter that if he wishes my company for any amount of time outside of school he should ask."
"Well…I suppose," Remus said, still looking puzzled. "But what about his chances with the girl he likes?"
"I don't know, as I'm not the girl," Lily said, playing along. "But if it were me," she trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence open.
"Because," Remus added as if Lily hadn't spoken, "I would never be so rude as to ask the girl he likes about these things. I'm not nosy like that."
Lily's smiled widened with suppressed laughter. "I'm sure you're not."
"So," Remus continued, "if, hypothetically, you were the girl James Potter fancied…"
"Well, I dunno," Lily said, tapping her finger against her lip like she was thinking hard. "Like I said, if it were me… I'd go for Sirius."
"I'll relay that to James, then," Remus said, frowning slightly. "Lily prefers Sirius. Got it." Lily giggled at Remus got up from the table. "Poor James."
"But it doesn't matter what I think," she said, "since I'm not the one James fancies."
Remus turned back around so he was facing her and smiled. "After dinner tomorrow, outside the Great Hall by the painting of Lady Luck," he winked before continuing, "If you were there, you know, just by chance…"
"And 'Oh my! I dropped my book'," she finished, making a great display of pretending to drop a book.
"Of course. You're good," he said approvingly.
"Of course I am."
Remus turned and headed for the exit. "Bye, Lily Potter," he called back before hurrying out of the library before she could smack him for his last remark.
Lily blushed then called after him, "Good bye, Remus Black."
~*~
Remus walked into the sixth year Gryffendor dorm rooms and was immediately pounced on by his boyfriend. "Moony!" Sirius exclaimed. "You're alive! And with no hand prints!"
"Of course I am," Remus said calmly while trying to push the over hyper Sirius off him.
"Not when I get him!" James yelled, glaring at his supposed friend.
"Well, I did speak to her." Remus crossed the room and gave his boyfriend a small kiss on the cheek before sitting. "Hello, Mrs. Lupin." Sirius raised an eyebrow and repeated the name with a question, but sat down next to Remus to snuggle up.
"Remus," James said, still glaring, "what did you do?"
"Nothing," Remus assured him. "I just found out that, completely by chance, Lily Evens is going to accidentally drop a book tomorrow night, after dinner, beside the painting of Lady Luck. Imagine that," he said with a wink to James.
Sirius who was still mumbling about 'Mrs. Lupin' frowned in confusion and spoke up, "accidentally tomorrow at a set time?" He grinned and kissed Remus on the side of the neck. "You're good, Moony."
"I know." He leaned back against Sirius, making himself comfy against his boyfriend's chest.
James was completely red from his hairline to the edge of his shirt. "Really?"
"Yes," Remus assured him. "And you, Prongs, are going to, by chance, be there to pick her book up."
"Unless of course Malfoy gets to it first," Sirius pitched in.
"Right," Remus agreed with a nod.
"I should kill you," James mumbled.
"But you won't," Remus said cheerfully. "Because I have very sharp claws."
"And a boyfriend that would whine and complain," Sirius added. "And not only sharp claws, but sharp teeth too." He pulled aside his robe collar to show a bruise and teeth marks on the side of his neck, just behind his ear.
"Ugh. No more whining and complain-SIRIUS!" James glared at the two before covering his eyes. "Geeze."
Sirius laughed and shrugged his robes back into place. "Not only a weenie but a square too. Really, Jamie."
"I'm not a square," James protested. "I'm just afraid one day you're going to strip him naked and I do not want to see that."
Remus sniffed haughtily. "You make it sound like I'm easy."
Sirius wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist and rested his chin on Remus' shoulder. "Not easy. Definantly not easy. I do hope you put that bite back after it goes away though."
"This wolf doesn't put out, thanks," Remus said.
"Too. Much. Information." James grumbled but was laughing at the same time.
"He gets so possessive before a full moon," Sirius said to James, in his most serious voice.
"I've noticed," James said dryly.
"So Jamie," Sirius said grinning, "whater you gunna wear tomorrow?"
"Um… my robes?"
"You should try to get your hair to look like you didn't just brush it with an egg beater. And you can't just 'wear you robes'," Sirius said imitating James.
"He's a man, remember," Remus said to Sirius. "He doesn't know he's supposed to look good. Unlike you."
"You know," James said huffily, "there's nothing I can do with my hair."
"I always look good," Sirius said to Remus, ignoring James. "We can dye your hair blue for you."
"Not first thing in the morning," Remus said smiling before turning to James. "Hmm. Blue would look good with his eyes."
"No thank you," James said.
"It's the 70's," Sirius said grinning, "get down with the times."
James shook his head. "Maybe I should go look for Wormtail. He's not nutters like you two."
"We're not nutters."
"Yes you are."
"Yes, you are," Remus said agreeing with James.
"Am not," Sirius pouted. "Meanies. James, this is the time when you counts. You have to look good."
"She's seen me in classes for years," James said trying to get out of whatever Sirius was planning.
"Yes, but you weren't asking her out when you were in class."
"I don't think she's going to be impressed, because she knows what I really look like."
"Sirius," Remus said, "dress him. You know you want to."
Sirius grinned at James. "Now you're going to ask her to go K-I-S-S-I-N-G-ing." He made little "whooo" sounds before grinning at the idea of dressing someone. "Yeah!" he yelled bouncing off the bed and rummaging through James's trunk of clothes. "Lets see, you look really good in green… oh! And those brown pants you have make your arse stand out nicely."
"You've been looking at James' posterior?" Remus said, voice neutral. James got up and quickly moved away from the werewolf before the claws came out.
Sirius looked up. "What? Well... I mean I've noticed, but I don't make it a point to check it out."
"Then why do you know which exact pair of pants make it look good?"
"Well the brown and green look nice together," Sirius said, trying to figure a way out of whatever he'd gotten himself into.
"That's not what you said. You said the brown trousers made his arse look good. I heard you." James quickly, and wisely made his way towards the door and escaped while the two were still arguing.
"Well... they do," Sirius said again. "But I mean, the brown and green will look nice together," h e added hastily. "You arse is the only one I check out."
"Then why do you know so much about Prongs'?"
"I've known him for a while! I just think green and brown'll look nice. That's all."
"You've known lots of people for a while," Remus kept his voice low, but the tone was defiantly one of annoyance. "Snape, Malfoy, Wormtail," he added, counting off people on his fingers. "James left, you can't dress him now." Remus grinned suddenly.
"I'll go drag him back here," Sirius assured him. "And I make it a point not to look at Snape's or Malfoy's bottoms… ew."
"Why?" Remus said sweetly, "Severus has a rather nice one."
"WHAT?!" Sirius yelled in astonishment. "You've been staring at Snape's ass?! EW!"
Remus laughed, "You're so easy!"
Sirius stood there a moment watching his laughing boyfriend before pouncing on him, sending them both back onto the bed. They wrestled for a while, laughing and rolling on the bed before Sirius sat up, straddling Remus' hips and looked around. "Prongs left."
"Well, yes. He thought I was going to scratch you, I think."
"Oooh," Sirius said wiggling his hips against Remus'. "Scratch me? Sounds promising."
Remus laughed again, hands sliding along the outside of Sirius' thighs. "You're such a pervert."
"Only around you."
"Good to know."
"And besides," Sirius said taking one of Remus' hands, "you don't have claws." He bent his head and kissed the tip of each finger before sucking one into his mouth. He kept his eyes open and locked with his boyfriend's.
Remus smiled and slipped his finger from Sirius' mouth before using the hand to thread in the black hair at the nape of his love's neck. He pulled Sirius down for a kiss. "Not at the moment," he said before closing the distance and snuggling in for some serious make out time. It was always best to use the time alone to the best of ones advantage and Sirius and Remus usually did.