Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series: The Fanfic.
Chapter 1: Marik's First Time.
Marik: (on the phone in the bathroom) Bakura, it's me Marik.
Bakura: What do you want? It's three in the morning?
Marik: Well I have a girl over here and-
Bakura: What? YOU have a girl over? You?
Marik: Yes, if I could ask my-
Bakura: I don't believe you! Let me talk to her.
Marik: NO, BAKURA!
Girl: (Laying in Marik's bed, drunk) You ok in there, hun?
Marik: Yes, just a minute…
Bakura: Holy shit! You really do have a girl! How desperate is she?
Marik: Can I please just ask my question?
Bakura: Is she blind?
Marik: No.
Bakura: Is she mentally ill? She MUST be.
Marik: No?
Bakura: Then she must be hideous! How could YOU get a girl?
Marik: I invited her over and-
Bakura: To where? To your TOMB
Marik: I INVITED HER OVER AND SHE SAID, YES! ARE YOU FINISHED?
Bakura: All right, what is your question?
Marik: How do you have sex?
Bakura: You can't be serious.
(From outside the bathroom, no longer able to hear Bakura's voice.)
Marik: What? But I go to the bathroom with THAT! … I just don't understand why she would enjoy that in… it's not very sanitary that's all I'm saying. Alright thank you Bakura, alright goodbye.
(Marik comes out bathroom and walks over to the bed)
Marik: Sorry about that. Shall we continue?
(A bit of making out later)
Marik: I believe it's time for the sex.
Girl: Yes, I'm pretty sure that comes next. Am I your first?
Marik: Pardon me? Oh No! I've done this SEVERAL times before! I've slept with a lot of other women! Countless times!
Girl: Yeah, sure.
Marik: Alright, here comes my Millennium Rod.
(Marik Secks…)
Odion: (from outside the door) Master Marik, what's with all that racket?
Marik: Go away, Odion!
Odion: But Master…
Marik: Now!
Girl: You have a roommate?
Marik: My older brother.
Girl: Ah.
(As much time as it takes to finish later)
Marik: That… was… nice
Girl: (breathless) Uh huh…
Marik: Was it good for you?
Girl: Uh huh…
Marik: I'll be back, I need some water… do you want some?
Girl: Oh, what? Uh, no thanks.
Marik: Alright then.
(Out of the bedroom enter Odion)
Odion: Master Marik, I'm sorry for disturbing-
Marik: Nice going Odion! You almost ruined my first chance ever with a girl! Jackass!
Odion: YOU had a girl in your room? I always though that you
Marik: Why does everyone find it so hard to believe I picked up a girl? And I'm NOT GAY Odion!