John...
You must know that I never wanted to do this. Who in their right mind would? Sociopath or not. But I digress. You already know of Moriarty's plot, his scheme to ruin me. And now, standing on this rooftop, I can fully understand what he meant.
The bastard owed me a fall and I do believe he has repaid me in full. Please, don't be angry after this. You were much more...enjoyable when you weren't angered. I will have fallen in so many more ways than just the building and my career.
I apologize, my thoughts aren't in the best of order at this moment. You look so much smaller from up here. You probably think the same of me.
I must tell you now, even though the words will never reach your ears, that you have taught me so many things that all of my knowledge could not even fathom. Compassion, empathy, human emotions that were buried far deeper than they should have been. Please don't think differently of me if I sound broken. Because I am. And you were steadily trying to fix that.
Stop looking like that, John. I can even see from up here that you are breaking as well. I am so glad you cannot see the slow tears roll down my cheeks, that would just ruin the facade now wouldn't it? You need to know that I am just a liar. Even if every word I speak is an utter lie, please...please believe them, John. That way, it will hurt much less.
Because I have indeed fallen...for something besides facts. Something entirely chaotic and ever-changing. I have fallen for a blogger by the name of John Hamish Watson.
Moriarty, that monster in sheep's clothing, he knew that something would happen between us. That is what disturbs me, John. That he knew long before I had even considered it. This is why I am going to save you. Now, don't give me speeches about being a hero because I am still nothing close to that type. I am, however, willingly in love. And once this is all blown over, I am hoping that I can come back to you.
Still sitting in that same chair, staring listlessly at that laptop of yours while you wait for your kettle to boil. I will come in, acting as if no time has past and sit down beside you. You will squawk and sputter until you thrash about in confusion. I will smirk the way I always do when you have missed an obvious detail and explain what had occurred. And hopefully, by that time, you will have calmed down enough to call me an idiot.
But most of all...I pray that when I do come back to you. That you have not moved on, that you have not thought this bond was fleeting and found something you believed to be stronger. Please John. I rarely beg but please, do not leave me behind. That may kill me. You told me that my isolation couldn't protect me, and as much as it pains me, I know you are right. Going back into that isolate to protect you...I will do that with no regrets. But coming back to nothing...it will be so hollow. So useless and boring. Not even a million cases would fill the void that you have left.
This is it. The moment of truth, please believe me when I say that I wish things went differently. You and Lestrade will find everything that you need up here on the roof. This is for you, John.
My John.
"Good bye, John."