Castle and the charachters aren't mine
A rustle as light as a beating of wings of a batterfly, a whispered groan out of her mouth, cries that overlap each other, blood red rain that makes his hand dirty and reddish grass around him. With these images fixed in the mind Richard Castle awoke from troubled sleep that night, for the seventh consecutive. He narrowed his eyes, running a hand trough his hair soaked with sweat while taking deep breaths, trying to calm the anxiety that oppressed his chest, to stop the crazy beats of his heart, repeating the same words again and again, that in those days, were able to give him a little peace.
"The operation went well, you just have to wait until she woke up, the operation went well, you just have to wait until she woke up"
With a decisive gesture Castle drew back the covers and sat on the bed staring at a point in front of him, inaccurately, as his thoughts were all focused on her, her words just before being shot, the moment when their eyes met for a brief but very significant moment. He turned to look at the phone on the bedside table and stretched out his hand to take it but his eyes fall on the alarm clock that marked "3,46 am" and so he stopped. One of the nurses, Sandra, in those days feel so sad for him that one morning had given him her number so that Rick could call her whenever he wanted to know about the conditions of Beckett. Altrough eager to know if there had been some improvement he desist and, getting out of the bed, walked into the bathroom to freshen. Opened the faucet he wait for the water to become cold and, after having filled his hands, he threw it on the face, all just to feel alive. Still better than the metod used the previous night, he thought, whose after-affect were still visible on the mirror in front of him, which had a large hole where his fist had hit it, and more cracks that started all along the lenght of the glass. He look in those fragments and he felt his soul as distorted, incomplete, broken, as that mirror. Castle were aware of how important Beckett was for him, but that situation brought to light many other details that he took well hidden, but now it was decided, he would not lose another chance. He come back in the bedroom and lay on the bed praying that those dreams would stop tormenting him and that his sleep was accompanied only by memories of the moments spent with his muse. Clutching her necklace tightly to his chest he fell asleep.
The next morning began like any other. Castle got out of the bed, went to the bathroom, had breakfast with his mother and daughter, always trying to appear the same as ever, get dress and then headed to the precint. He wanted to continue to maintain the same lifestyle he had before the incident, concentrate on the case helped him to not to think too much about Beckett. Ryan ed Esposito, for their part, were the same as well but could not avoid observing the desk of the woman and feel the emptiness that oppressed them, and the board that Kate used to solve their case against a wall, lay there unused. If someone could write on it that was her, only her. All her things remained intact, no one had moved one thing from his position so that, when she come back, she will found everything the same as she had left.
"Bro. We found Persie, right where i said it, and a team is bringing him here. You want to be there at the "interview"?". Esposito spoken proudly, informing Castle of the new arrest in which he had contributed.
"No thanks. A robbery gone bad does not excite me that much. The usual things. The jeweler refuses to open the safe, the robber gets angry, something goes wrong ant someone die. Everything is already written. I left this very interesting case to you and Ryan". Castle hadn't even turned to talk to him but remained focused on the cup in front of him that slowly was filled with coffee, breathing deeply the strong scent and only once finished he turned to the detective.
"You want to call Sandra, right?". More than a question was a statement by Esposito to whom the writer only nodded as he carried the cup to his mouth, but with his eyes following the other man, that before leaving gave him a simple and obvius request.
"Let us know if there any news"
"Sure"
When he saw him disappear into another room Castle took the phone and pressed the speed dial number and immediately a familiar voice answered from the other side.
"It seemed strange to me that you haven't called me yet?". Sandra spoke with her authoritative voice, but at the same time giving a feeling of peace.
"I was almost willing to do so. At 4 this morning". Said Rick giggling with her, having already estabilished a good relationship.
"If only you had tried i would have told to the security to not let you come near the hospital"
"Let's go. I'm sure you miss my voice"
"We do so now, i put the phone down and we see if i really wanted to hear your voice". This time Sandra spoke with a voice more powerful and Castle had to worry about this. He was afraid of having overacted, but he calmed down when he hear her voice continue to speak amused.
"Either you shut up for a while so i'll tell you what you want to know"
"Closed mouth, promised". Said the writer mimicking the zip on his lips as if the nurse could see him.
"Perfect. I went to check her a couple of hours ago, her conditions is improving slowly but the doctors are almost certain that in any moment she can awaken from the coma. Matter of days they say".
To hear those words he feel lighter. The hope to see her standing in front of him in a short time grew more every day and now these news filled his heart of happiness. For the joy he began to bounce around the room unaware of all eyes that were watching him from outside of the room.
"Rick..Rick..Please listen me". Sandra was trying to call him and raised her voice hoping to have more luck.
"Rick come back and listen to me. NOW"
Hearing that tone of voice more urgent Castle stopped instantly, bringing back the phone to his ear and urging the woman to continue.
"As i said we have to wait that she woke up, but we aren't sure of how she'll be once out of the coma. Is a very traumatic passage, which can leave problems behind"
"What kind of problems?". The happiness he felt a few second before drains from his body, forcing him to sit on the sofa behind him, feeling his legs unstable, already preparing for the worst.
"As you know her heart stopped for a few second, there was an extensive hemorrhage, all things that don't provide the certainty that when Kate's wake will be the same again. She will face many months of rehabilitation, she can no longer do what she did before, she should be careful even to the slightest movement at the beginning and this preclude the possibility of returning to work, at least in the field, and from what i've seen it is her whole life"
"It is. But this not discourage Beckett, she is a strong woman and she will have us at her side. We didn't abandon our family. The important thing is that she recovers."
"For the phisical recovery will take some weeks. Is the mental that concerns over"
"Why do you say so?"
"How do you feel if you know that there is someone out there who wants you dead? That shots you but fails in his duties and therefore must fix it? How would react you to the thought of being alive by a miracle and that the next time you may not be so lucky? The body's wounds heals, the soul not Richard. You have to do much more than be close to her"
Castle said nothing. He let his brain absorb every words, not having thought about all these consequences. Only want the awakening of Kate, he had always thought selfishly. He want her to wake up only for himself, not for her family or friends, only for him. A life without Beckett was just a constant torment.
"Thank you Sandra. Please call me if there are news"
"You know i will Rick. See you soon"
Castle closed the call and sink in the sofa, with his head resting on the back of this and his eyes turned upwards in a silent prayer. He vowed to help her, not to leave her alone as he had always done. He would be at her side, ready to be her support. Always.