The first time I saw her, she was sitting across me on the train.
I was on my way to my dreary office job. I didn't even notice her until our eyes randomly met. Never had I seen eyes more beautiful than hers.
Too soon, the train screeched to a halt and she was swallowed by the crowd before I could even make out the rest of her features. The eye contact might have been brief but the sapphire orbs had seared itself into my memory. I remember shaking my head sadly though, thinking that I would never see those gorgeous eyes again.
I was wrong.
She was there on the train the next morning, sitting more or less on the same spot as last time. I took my place directly across her. I pretended to read a book but my eyes just kept flickering to the creature that had fascinated me the day before. At first, I wasn't even sure it was her. She was a big girl, broad-shouldered and flat-chested- built like a man. Her head was bowed and a gray hood was pulled over her it, covering her face. My doubt was eating me up and I could feel the embarrassment rising in my chest.
Until she threw her head back in laughter.
She was plain, if one was being kind. Her face was pale, except for the galaxy of freckles dotting them. Her nose looked like it had been broken- twice. Her lips were wide and big. Her face shape was broad, framed by choppy straw hair.
But her eyes were soft and as beautiful as he remembered. Her smile made them light up, and my heart clenched at the wondrous sight of it.
And just like that her face was hidden away from me once more.
I wondered what had coaxed such a reaction from her until I spotted a book on her lap. The cover was blue and I thought the blue book suited her more than the gray hoodie. Then I pondered what type of book she was reading. I was secretly a fan of romantic films, especially set in the medieval times. I hoped that she was fond of them as well.
Days passed, I kept seeing her on the train every day, except on weekends where I had no work. I wondered if she would still be there on the weekends.
Still, each of those days, I learned something about the girl with attractive cerulean eyes.
For one, she always wore a hoodie, available in three colors- gray, red, and blue. It always delighted me when she wore blue. It went well with her eyes.
I guessed that she was in college. Based on the thesis book clutched in her hand, she was a graduating senior.
If she didn't have study material in her hands, she was always reading novels. I itched to know what stories and characters contorted her face into such different shades and emotions. She would make little gasps and smiles and each expression came with its own lines and hues of scarlet. It wasn't pretty but it was real- realer than the practiced smiles and empty politeness in the office. My fixation on the girl seemed to be my only reprieve from my every day journey to the snake pit that is the corporate office. Her innocence made me think that there are still things in this world that remained pure and untouched.
I immediately threw the latter word from my head when describing her, lest I wish to feel heat stirring between my legs.
Overtime, I gravitated towards her. The city where I worked in seemed to be thriving so the trains were getting more and more crowded. I simply had to begin standing just so I could see her in her usual seat.
The closer I got, the more detailed she became.
I saw how her left leg always crossed over her right one when sitting. One time, I caught one of her earbuds hang out of her hoodie before quickly putting it back on. At some point, I could hear her humming. She actually had a beautiful voice- contrasting to her man-like physique but complemented her blushes and eyes.
It took weeks though for her to finally notice me, and a few more weeks for her stares to turn from apprehensive to friendly. I couldn't blame her though. A man with golden hair slowly turning to silver, no matter how handsome, could be deemed a stalker if they looked at a much younger girl (considering I'm ten or more years her senior). Sometimes, I even expected police to show up at my door, but none came, to my relief.
Her glares turned to confused scrunch of brows. Then turned to curiosity. Then, a shy but genuine smile.
It took months for me though to finally work up that courage to sit next to her. For a few days, it was as if I was invisible once more, until one day, she said the first ever words to me.
"Are you stalking me?"
Back to square one- or perhaps square two. She was recognizing my presence at least, though her tone is as hostile as her glares when she first had first seen me.
"I am simply curious about the books you read," I replied smoothly. "You seem very into them when you read them. They must be quite interesting if you're very expressive while reading."
Her face exploded into red. "Oh, it's just romance novels. I doubt you'll find them interesting, ser."
"I love a good romantic story," I exclaimed while she raised a brow. "What's this about?"
"Ser Goldenhand and his Lady Knight." I could scarcely believe that she was reading the book of my favorite TV romance drama.
"May I read with you?" I said, almost in a desperate plea. Silence followed and she simply looked at me, baffled. Even her skeptical eyes looked beautiful. "If you don't mind," I quickly added before it got really awkward. It remained quiet a while longer and I was beginning to feel embarrassed. I thought of finding an excuse to leave and never bother this poor girl again. The things that were running through her mind at that moment, I could imagine.
"You may," she finally said. She was still as wary as she had been but she wasn't as harsh anymore. Perhaps she didn't see the harm in letting someone read with her.
I immediately looked at the pages in her book, fearing her azure irises will make me stare at her more and making me even more of a creep than I already felt.
Sometimes, the words threatened to swim around my vision. I had taken control of my dyslexia more or less but would threaten come up in times of great stress. She began turning the page and I almost screamed at her to stop.
"I'm- I'm a slow reader," I admitted.
She only nodded and waited until I'd do a grunt of affirmation to turn the page.
I understood why she made those faces whilst reading, because I began making my own faces at the book as well. Although, I was definitely more talkative than she was, making commentaries at every page. At first, I kept hearing annoyed groans when I opened my mouth, but when I brought out a snort out of her, I felt the luckiest man alive and was determined to draw another one again. Perhaps she'd grace me with a chuckle or- if the gods were good- a roaring laughter. But there had been no time, because the train halted at her stop.
She didn't say anything, only waving goodbye. I waved back, memorizing the color of her flush and the sparkle of her eyes, before she left.
From then on, my mornings were filled with me sitting next to the girl, reading her romance novels with her. The book ended up at my lap ultimately so I could be the one to turn the page. I continued with my prattling commentaries and my wishes were slowly granted- chuckles at first, until she burst into a full blown laughter. The first time, she immediately stopped, covering her mouth with her hand, but then I looked at her with a toothy grin. To my utmost delight, she returned it with a toothy grin of her own. Her teeth were slightly crooked but I thought it looked cute for some reason. It was so cute I could feel tears pricking at my eyes. Since then, she gave her smiles and laughter freely with me. Though not a slip of personal information, not even a name, was uttered, it was as if my heart had trusted her for years.
One day, our reading sessions were interrupted.
The seats were gone to accommodate the growing population heading to the city.
I was afraid that I'd lost my blue-eyed lady for the first time in months.
Then I turned around and found the magnetizing orbs that I thought would elude me forever. I knew she was tall even taller than me but standing together was a completely different experience. It was nice to look at her without sneaking glances.
"Looks like we won't be able to read," she merely said.
"I suppose so," I sighed, not sure what else to say. We only ever talked about the book we're reading.
The rest of the ride was spent wordlessly. Around us, the crowd thickened. I pretended not to notice that the crowd was drawing us closer and closer until our chests were pressed against each other. We both seemed to stop breathing at the proximity.
Just when I thought we couldn't get any closer, her face jerked forward, lips barely an inch away from each other. Likely some force pushed her from behind but whatever the cause was, it wasn't thought of. Our breaths- mine coffee and hers peppermint- mingled, trying to be one.
And they were.
I felt her sharp intake of breath against my lips and I groaned.
Then a punch struck me on the cheek, making me stagger backwards. For a minute, I wondered if she had a boyfriend lurking nearby, but I only found blue eyes directed at me. Instead of narrowing in anger, they were wide with fear and doubt. Before I could apologize, the train screeched to a familiar halt at her usual stop and she ran away.
I didn't see her in the train again.
My world was once again in a state of total dreariness. Sapphires no longer lit up my day. I tried to soothe myself with all sorts of blue but none came close to her dazzling shade. And it tore a hole in my heart.
One day, as my fingers typed mindlessly away on the keyboard, I heard someone enter my office.
"Excuse me," a voice muttered. I almost didn't recognize the voice until I heard it again, clearer. "They said that you were the one to go to for information?"
For a moment, it was like my body ceased functioning. The next, I was up, my thighs nearly hitting the computer.
Her sapphire eyes alone brought light into the room, flooding my dark hollow chest. As soon as our gazes locked, she did that little gasp my tingling lips remember all too well.
"Jaime…" I blurted out. "Jaime Lannister. Manager."
"Brienne Tarth,"she replied carefully. "Journalist."
For a long time, we just stared at one another, unsure what to say really. Our eyes were drinking the sight of each other. Perhaps we were trying to see if those experiences we had the past year were even real.
"How may I help you, Brienne?" I finally spoke.
…oO0^0Oo…
"Jaime, tell me again why we're still traveling in this crappy seatless train rather than the modern, more comfortable ones?" I teased him. They built new train systems to aid the influx of people flocking to the cities, but Jaime liked traveling in the old train. I shared his sentiment. If I didn't, I wouldn't have spent an hour standing up in this noisy transportation.
"Because, I rather enjoy standing up while traveling. Toughens you up," he replied smoothly. Both his hands held on to the hand rails over us though, and his knuckles looked white. Maybe a crowd wouldn't be too bad to keep us from swaying about this rickety train. Our heavy backpacks weren't helping either.
I snorted. "Careful, old man, your knees might give."
"Oh my baby blue Brienne, only you can make these old knees weak," he replied with a wink. My face automatically heated up. Two years of that and he still had that effect on me.
"Besides," he said with more solemnity. "This train will be replaced soon. I'd like to use it as much as I can in my newfound freedom."
"It was either the train or your shackle to your boring office life that had to go. You can't have everything, Lannister."
"But you're my everything."
Another wave of heat invaded my cheeks as I wondered how he's so smooth with his words. I'm supposedly the writer between us.
"If- if that's the case, I'm not giving you any food when we reach the Wall!" I stammered.
He make his point by planting a kiss on my lips. It was quick and gentle, unlike the other kisses we usually shared, but it still conveyed just as much emotion.
He stared at me with such love that I never thought I'd ever receive from anyone, let alone a man like him. His emerald gaze was an ironic mix of burning fire and soothing caresses.
"You didn't punch me," he remarked suddenly with feigned impressiveness. My face scrunched at the memory he was referring to, but I couldn't blame myself. When a handsome older man I barely knew took interest in me, I was suspicious. It didn't even have to do anything with my face only. Yet fate was determined.
"Do you want me to?" I joked.
"Brienne, I love how my wit rubs off on you."
I smiled at him as the memories rushed to my head. Despite my suspicions, the way he had looked at me was different from mockery or pity- or even threatening. He had looked curious and fascinated, but there was something soft about it, instead of a clinical observation a doctor or scientist would make.
Still, my guard was up in case he was psychopath. I tried harder and harder to keep him away but he only seemed to be drawn closer, until I just graced him with a smile.
I couldn't forget the way his green eyes sparkled in amusement when I first gave him a smile. It had made my heart flutter.
"What are you thinking of?" he asked.
"Contemplating whether or not I should punch you for being an idiot?"
"As long as you love me, I don't mind at all."
He was good and my words could never match his verbally. But he never minded, despite constantly teasing me about it. Besides, not that I would tell him, but I always liked hearing him talk from the moment he made those silly commentaries on how Ser Goldenhand was stupid for not realizing he loved his Lady Knight much sooner.
I nearly laughed at the thought of his first comment. This man loved me too soon.
"Who loved you too soon?"
I hadn't realized I said my thoughts aloud. I could lie but he always saw through me.
"You did," I told him honestly. I might have been tentative at first but once he talked to me on the train, I was ensnared. The only way to go is to fall- deeper and deeper until couldn't get out.
"Maybe I did," he admitted. His cheeks turning into a shade of color. "I'll admit I deserved that punch. But we worked out didn't we?"
And we did. I had punched him because I was afraid of my own feelings. We didn't even know our names, yet I felt great comfort during those brief moments in the train. University wasn't still as unkind as high school and being with him served as a temporary escape.
I had been afraid at how attached I'd grown to this small paradise. So I pushed it away- punched him away.
How wrong had I been after my chance encounter with him months after.
"And I've never been happier."
"The happiest," he added.
We had finally decided to begin anew, learning about each other step by step, discovering more personal things about each other.
Next thing we knew, I ditched my job at a local newspaper for travel blogging and working on a novel while he resigned from his monotonous job as a manager in the company to rekindle his passion for painting. We had some money saved to fund the beginnings of our backpacking journey together.
"Jaime," I whispered, suddenly worried. "Do you think you'll regret leaving stability for all… this?"
"It won't be easy, I'll admit, but I will make it work. We will make it work. We promised after all."
We swore an oath to one another that we would be happy- with our lives, with each other. We weren't wed, but the way he had said it, it was a vow as sacred as marriage.
"You will be the death of me." I meant it as a jape but the croak in my voice rang the truth of it. Suddenly, his hand cradled my cheek, thumb gently circling the bone there. Oppositely, His green eyes looked at me with such intensity, as if he wanted to scream many things at me.
"As with me, my lady," he confessed.
Then, his lips were upon me once more. It was like that time in the train before we thought we would never see each other again. Except this time, I was no longer scared.
I trust him. I love him.
I let my lips say it.
End Notes: Originally this was just going to about 500 words with Jaime and Brienne getting too close in a train because it was crowded and suddenly he kisses her then she punches him. Whoops... XD