The evening shift in Walmart was handled by three college students from the nearby university. Arthur, Francis and Kiku all believed that working in Walmart was penance for some past sin. Arthur believed it was punishment for going to an American university instead of one back home in the UK. Francis believed it was punishment from God for that incident with the pianist and the bright pink ribbon, although the police didn't arrest them for public indecency, which was nice of them. And Kiku believed it to be punishment for the fact he couldn't get a scholarship to the college and that he was a terrible person, an underachiever who would amount to nothing.
Needless to say no one liked working in the Walmart. What made it worse was all the costumers were the other college students. Sure there were some sane ones every now and then, like that Indian man or the blonde guy who looked like he took steroids but then there were ... others.
Today wasn't too bad, at least not yet. The three of them were playing 'Dating/Siblings', a surprisingly hard game. Francis was keen to declare everyone a couple, while Arthur would never say anyone were a couple until they kissed, Kiku (when he spoke up) almost always got it right.
"They're totally siblings" Arthur declared as three of them peered down the aisle to the two people.
"Mon ami, look at how much he's grinning at her." Francis protested as the man with the band-aid over his nose poked the other person. "And look, that level of contact, the playfulness, the flirting, why I wouldn't be surprised if she kisses him right now in a fit of—"
"Wait!" Arthur interjected before Francis could go of on a tangent "She?"
"Yes, that is clearly a young woman"
The three of them stared at the blonde person. They were clutching a toy sheep to their chest and laughing quietly.
"That's a .. I'm not sure if they're a man or woman." Arthur said quietly.
Kiku stared intently at them. "From the amount of anime I have seen I know about people who's genders can't be easily guessed." He murmured to his co-workers.
"And?" The the blonde men asked in unison.
Kiku took a deep breath, Arthur and Francis leaned in with expectation.
"I can't tell from here."
Two angry sighs met Kiku's words and Francis huffed. "I still say it's a boyfriend and girlfriend."
"I disagree, they're brothers." Arthur said confidently, leaning back in his chair.
"When don't you disagree with me?" Francis said, in the voice of a man who has faced many hardships, dramatically sweeping his hair back.
Arthur turned to Kiku "We never should have allowed him to join the theatre society."
Kiku nodded in agreement.
"Um excuse me."
The three of them wiped the heads up to see the blonde person with the toy sheep looking at them, sheepishly.
"I was wondering where I could find the condoms…
Francis gave Arthur a triumphant look and opened his mouth to answer but the sheep person wasn't done.
"… my brother wanted to know but he had to get some other things."
Arthur tried not to look too smug as he gave sheep person directions. Once sheep person was gone, he stuck his tongue out at Francis who pulled out a dollar.
"Ah but we don't know their gender yet." Francis said, still holding the dollar. "If I'm right and they're a girl, I get the dollar but if you're right you get it."
"Blow that." Arthur muttered "I won the dollar fair and square."
"But this has been a bigger mystery." Kiku pointed out. "We all care more about it."
Arthur eyed the dollar then glanced at the security footage, showing the two costumers examining detergents.
".. All right. But only because I know I'll win."
"Have you done the politics essay yet?" Francis asked after a pause.
"Yes. I did mine on Thatcher." Arthur said. Francis rolled his eyes, if there was ever a possibility to choose a British topic that was the one he'd do, even if he'd have to stretch the title.
Kiku tuned them out. He did nanotechnology, politics had no place in his essays.
"Just gotta pay for this stuff, mate. Someone gonna do the register?" It was the band-aid man and sheep person. Their arms were full of cleaning products and, of course, condoms. Kiku vaguely wondered why they'd need all that. The Arthur and Francis rushed to their checkouts, away from Kiku's.
The two siblings began handing Kiku the various items and he scanned them. In the background, Arthur and Francis resumed the debate over sheep person's gender. It was getting rather heated. Kiku wilted when band-aid man looked over at the Frenchman after he'd exclaimed "Well, you wouldn't even know what a penis looks like!"
"Just because I don't fuck everything that has moved.."
Kiku wasn't sure how red his face was but the look of amusement on band-aid man's face wasn't helping matters, neither was sheep person's quiet giggles. Kiku handed them their change faster than he had to any other costumer, including the blonde girl who just bought a bunch of knives.
There was now the sound of movement and banging coming over from Francis' station.
Kiku's face was the colour of a tomato by the time the two of them left.
Torturously, sheep person turned and the exit and said kindly "I'm bigender, by the way." And left.
Kiku turned around to see Francis straddling Arthur, who was pulling Francis' beard. They were both frozen at the revelation.
"…. So who gets the dollar?"
So yeah a Walmart/college au. Don't think I've really seen that, but if that's someone else's idea …. Oops. If anyone's wondering Arthur is studying English and Politics and Francis is studying History and Politics. That might get brought up later in the story. Oh yeah this'll be a multi chapter thing. It's just really easy to write and is mostly fluff.
So for anyone wondering about The List. I don't think I'll be able to update this week. I've been interning and The List is very hard to write, it has eight different stories going on simultaneously so this isn't replacing it, it's just a fun little au about Arthur, Francis and Kiku interacting with various characters in Walmart.
Oh and in case it wasn't clear, Band-aid man = Australia Sheep Person = New Zealand