I Remember

by fyheerin

Lucy Heartfillia's POV

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Feelings.

Is the one thing that makes us different from other beings,

Is the one thing that makes us human,

Is the one thing that makes us feel alive,

But what if, you're just hurt too deep that you cannot feel anything again?

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28th of October 2016, Evening.

I wasn't using any coat or jacket, I was from the guild on the way back to my home and I let the rain pour on me. I don't care if it makes my clothes wet or I'll get sick. I really love the rain, because I was happy to know that—I'm not the only one who's crying.

Natsu come to visit me every single day after Gray dumped me up—which is five years ago—Natsu always says that I'm not as cheerful as I used to be, and talking to him pissed me off.

Erza often forces me to go to the Lároux Café, and always order strawberry cheesecake and tells me the cake was super sweet and amazing but what I can feel was—the atmosphere reminded me of Gray Fullbuster, how we told each other's deepest secrets and made tons of memories here.

As I arrived home, I quickly change my clothes into pajamas, the clock shows 1 a.m and what I'm doing is making a cup of green tea for myself and staring at the moonlight shining so bright. And I remember everything…

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I remember the moment Gray and I used to go to parties and dance until morning under the moonlight.

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I remember the way he used to text me at 2am asking if I thought supernatural beings were real.

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I remember the way he got jealous when I got a mission with other guys.

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I remember the way he used to chuckle at my idiotic jokes and the way his eyes disappeared when he smiled.

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I remember how his voice sounds and how he used to sing random rock songs mockingly under your breathe.

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I remember the details of his favorite suit that he only wanted to wear it if it's our anniversary.

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I remember every second we spent laughing at nothing in the middle of the night.

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I remember how he used to hate it when I spammed his phones with 187 texts while he's sleeping, but I did it anyway.

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I remember the morning I woke up on my 18th birthday with 100 balloons in my rom and thousands of roses were in my bed, and he was lying beside me, kissed my forehead gently and whispered "Happy Birthday, Love."

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And I remember the way it felt to love him, and knowing he had the same feelings like I did, and he asked me out in the guild, in front thousands of eyes.

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But in the end,

It hurts,

Knowing he dumped me at the place we used to dance and getting wasted.

It hurts,

Seeing him kissing a blue haired girl who was my best of friends.

It hurts,

Seeing him walking beside her to the altar.

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I would still want to forget his name, every inside jokes we had and everything between us,

Because the memories of you only makes me realize that I lost him,

And I still don't know where things went wrong.

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Author's Note :

To be honest I wrote this with 10000000% of feelings and human tears.

I don't know, its really sad that someone who makes you feel alive this whole time, someone who always cheers you up everytime your mood is low, someone who said he was going to stand by you no matter what happens, left you. Like everyone else did. He left you without an explanation why. I thought he was serious with all of his words but It turned out his words were bullshits and he was no different than others. Sad huh?

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By the way, this the first story I posted after a couple of year-not-publishing? Thank you for reading and please comment below what do you think about my fanfiction! Thank you, byeesssss xx