(Based on the TJ Hooker show, and his marriage long before he became a street cop once more.....when love was still there for him and his wife.)

Love Levels Mountains

Fran could not forget the pain in Tom's eyes the day they separated, not if she tried her hardest. Their four years of marriage had been hard on her. She had hero-worshipped Thomas Jefferson Hooker from high school days. After his service in the Marines, he had gone into police work and then into the detective division, working with the LA police force. She had married him all starry-eyed and deeply in love. No one could doubt his love for her. Their devotion to each other was evident to all who knew them. However, each year her worry for him seemed to grow. It became an impossible mountain of fear that almost never left her.

"I don't understand," Tom said, running his fingers through his hair, an unconscious nervous habit. "You say you love me, yet you're leaving."

"I can't take the tension anymore," she replied. Her blue eyes could not look at him. "I worry every time the phone rings. I worry when you're late at night. Is this the night he's not coming home? Is there a maniac out there somewhere just waiting to blow the head off one of the department's best men?" She paused and swallowed at the lump in her throat before she continued.

"It's not like you're a street cop, although that's not much better. You go after the dangerous criminals, the really hardened ones who have proved it. You've earned that reputation and you deserve the honor that goes with it. But I can't take it."

"I love you, Fran. Doesn't that count for anything?" he asked, gripping her arms, staring into her downcast face.

She looked up into his dark brown eyes and almost lost her nerve. It had taken her many days to work up to this resolve. "If I leave, I won't know when you're late getting home. I won't......." she began to say 'worry', but knew this wasn't true. She felt she must put some distance between them to gain a sense of balance again. To lose that constant pressure of fear. She wasn't really running away, just gaining a better perspective of the problem and how to handle it. At least that's what she told herself.

She knelt to pack up her suitcases and he released his hold on her. She had her own car and a job; there were no children involved. She had rented an apartment on the other side of town. She left him standing by the front door in disbelief.

It was a week later that she saw Gary Foster in the bank where she worked.

"Fran, what a surprise," he said. "My first visit to this bank and I find an old friend."

She smiled and replied to his friendly conversation as she carried out his transaction. He hadn't changed since high school, still charming.

"How about lunch?" he asked. "Even bank tellers have to eat."

"I'll be free at one o'clock."

"I'll pick you up then," he said, and noticed her look of reluctance. "Just between old friends."

When she left the bank, he was there at the curb in a racy little MG. They sped away, her simple-cut hair blowing in the breeze, a feeling of escape beginning to come over her.

Over a light lunch, Fran found his company relaxing. He was entertaining as only a wealthy executive can be, exuding self-confidence and building Fran's own lack.

"It's a boost to a man's morale to be with someone who looks like they did when I was in high school," he remarked, admiring her lovely face and curly hair.

"Thank you," she replied. "But I have grown up a bit since you lived across the street and I wore braces."

"Only in your looks a little. Your personality is still the same, a silent, beautiful type."

She felt herself turn modestly pink. "Come on, Gary. You were three years ahead of me in school. You never saw me after you graduated."

"But even in ninth grade, you showed promise. We Seniors could sense things like that." He chuckled and she laughed delightedly, realizing she was enjoying herself. He was funny as well as good-looking. His blonde hair was styled, his three piece suit was of a quality that Tom had never been able to afford. Everything pointed to success.

"I've been very lucky considering today's economy," he told her. "I own my own tool company and business is good."

There was a pause in the conversation and she decided she'd better say something about herself. "I'm married to Tom Hooker."

"I gathered you were married to someone," he said, glancing at the gold band on her finger. "I haven't heard of TJ for a long time, not since he went into the Marines."

"He's a detective on the police force now, one of the best. We're separated.......just recently as a matter of fact."

"Should I ask the question, or is it none of my business?"

"Tom's work. My personal feelings about it became more than I could handle. I just decided we needed some time to each other for awhile."

He nodded and then changed the subject to other things for which she silently thanked him.

There were other lunches together after that and several evenings also were spent in his company. Gary was pleasant to be with. It was also rather elegant to be seen in the company of a handsome bachelor at meals, a play now and then, or a concert. Fran liked the feeling. The guilt that sometimes tried to creep upon her, she pushed into a tiny corner of her mind. Surely Tom would not mind her being with an old friend.

As the months went by, Fran realized that Gary was becoming a little more serious. "Why didn't you ever get married?" she asked casually one evening at dinner when he seemed a bit quiet.

"Never met anyone who could wear braces like you," he said with a grin, then shook his head. "No, I guess I just never met anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Not like TJ." He looked at her with a question in his eyes.

But Fran tried to ignore it and continued with her meal. She knew things couldn't continue as they were. Friendship was not really what Gary was interested in anymore. It was a warm summer evening when the truth was suddenly forced upon her. On their way to a restaurant they were talking about the future, Gary's question was to the point.

"Are you going to continue in limbo with TJ?"

Fran was quiet, considering her answer. The car ran quietly and the stereo put out beautiful music. Suddenly a newscast came on. Every nerve tensed within her as she heard of the drug bust involving some top dealers. Also involved were two detectives who had been working with the FBI on this. One of the detectives had been shot and was in serious condition. No names pending notification of relatives. Suddenly the night was chill and Gary could not help noticing the look of concern on Fran's face. "Would you like to go to the hospital?"

She shook her head. "I think I'd better go back to my apartment. I wouldn't be very good company tonight anyway, Gary."

When he stopped at her address, he turned to face her. "Would you like me to come up?"

"No," she replied. "But thank you. I'll call you tomorrow."

He nodded with a slight smile and then drove off. She looked after the lovely little car and felt a wave of sadness for him.

On the phone to the hospital, she tried to remember if she had given Tom her phone number. She knew he had the number at the bank. "I'm sorry.....no names are being given over the phone." The receptionist was very brisk and businesslike. "If you are his wife, they would have notified you."

"They don't have my number. We've been living apart," Fran said, trying to explain and remain calm.

"I'm sorry. I can't give you any information over the phone."

More argument, but the woman only repeated the phrase like a recording. Perhaps the department would be able to tell her. But an unfamiliar officer was on the phone tonight and he could not tell her if it was Tom. "We no longer have a listing for Mrs. TJ Hooker. If you could come down, someone here could identify you. For the safety of the injured officers, you understand. There aren't any officers free at the moment to come to the phone."

Fran thanked him and hung up. The worry within her was at a peak she had never experienced before. This was exactly what she had always dreaded. She could not bring herself to go to either the police station or the hospital, even though that would have been the solution. Not really knowing meant that it was still possible to believe it could be someone else. She left the apartment and in her car headed for their house, a lovely little place on the ocean. If Tom had not worked tonight, he would be there. He loved the beach house at night. The road spun away under her wheels and the headlights pierced the dark road, carrying her away from town and the nightmare.

It was dark, no car in sight, when she pulled up. Once inside, she didn't bother with the lights, only leaving the night light in the kitchen to guide her steps. Standing at the large door in back, she looked out at the ocean, bathed in moonlight. She had told Gary of this place and how much she enjoyed it. It was a place of refuge at the end of the day, the sound of the waves a steady wash of peacefulness. At least it felt like that when Tom was there.

A key turned in the front door lock. Or was it something else? There were occasional breakins out here but surely her car could be seen, letting anyone know it was not deserted. The moments passed tensely as soft footsteps could be heard on the carpet.

"Fran?" A gentle voice spoke and at first she felt relief. The voice held sadness. She stepped into the pool of moonlight streaming through the sliding back door and came face to face with Tom, a flood of relief washing through her now. "I saw your car out front."

"Just here for a visit," she said, watching him and trying to keep her voice casual, but wanting his arms around her.

He didn't turn on a light, only sat down in the easy chair by the window. He was silent for a bit before he spoke, rather broken in tone. "I don't know if you heard about the drug bust. It was my partner, Phil Greer, that got shot. I was able to wing the guy who did it so he was captured. But I felt so helpless while we waited for the ambulance. I haven't had that feeling since 'Nam." He covered his eyes and she seemed to hear a deep sigh which caught in his throat.

She had never known Tom could be so vulnerable, but he had never had a partner on the force shot down before. She knelt before him and touched his hair as he bowed his head. He took her in his arms and she felt tears on his cheeks as his face brushed hers. No words were needed, just her closeness seemed to give him comfort. When he let her go, his voice was once more steady. He had regained control.

"I'm sorry, Fran. I guess sometimes it all comes back to me. I've spent a lot of free time alone lately and Phil was the only one I felt I could talk to." There was a pause before Fran could clear her voice to speak.

"You've got me?"

"Have I, Fran? What about the worry?"

"I can't put away the worry. It'll always be there. But I love you and I can't leave you again. I came here tonight instead of the hospital or the station because I wanted desparately to find you alive and uninjured."

"It may not always happen this way," he warned her. "I can't give up my job. It's too much a part of me. What happens the next time?"

Fran swallowed. "Then I'll be where I should be and they'll notify me. Wherever you are, I'll be there. We'll face it together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't function without you."

"What about Gary?" he asked. She looked surprised. "One of the guys saw you a couple of time. Gary's well known. I saw you once myself. You looked happy."

"Gary's an old friend who helped me through a hard time, but he can't take your place." She laid her hands on his as she sat at his feet once more. "Can you forgive me, Tom, for what I've put us both through? I want to come back. Am I still welcome?"

This time he didn't just reach down and enfold her. He pulled her up into his lap and held her close. His kiss was warm and reassuring and Fran felt the contentment she had been missing.

"What do you think?" he asked when she rested her head on his chest.

"It won't be easy," she told him. "I can't promise I won't have my doubts. Just love me, Tom. Hold me. I need you much more than you need me."

"I rather doubt that," he said, smiling. "But I don't even intend to let you go again without a fight. That's a promise."

She had come home. The future was still a bit scarey but a future without Tom was a lot worse. At least together they could lick any fear or sorrow, hers or his.

"Could we go back to the apartment tonight and get my things?"

The smile on his face was worth all her worry this evening. Somehow, within her, she felt the mountain of worry shrink to a molehill. It would have to be a great deal of trouble that would make it grow large again.....and hopefully never come between their love again.

End