Prologue
Sometimes we all want it to start at the happy parts, when the torment is over and just a lingering scar…beauty and kindness and love are all that we see.
I wish this idealized life was realistic, that healing could happen in an instant.
However, as my cold cheek presses against the stained tile of a dingy bathroom, and my tremors increase as I slowly lose the only thing that still matters to me I can't say that I will ever be 'okay'.
This loss- is not the worst part.
The most painful thing is what I am anticipating next, after the excruciating physical pain is over. I will have to pick up and replace the broken pieces of myself, clean off the blood on the floor and continue on as if nothing happened.