Disclaimer: I do not own any of Stephanie Meyer's story lines or characters :( I do own this story line and any new characters though :)

Ok, I know this is really short, but i just want to see what people think, and if people think I should continue the story. I already have a really good plot idea and I want to continue it. I will update it as soon as I get reviews, and if i continue with the story It will be updated mostly everyday I hope :)

This is my first fanfic, so If you have any tips on how I can improve my writing, please let me know :) Thanks.

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I'm lying on my bed in a state of pure painless bliss after doing a line of coke. I'm getting better at doing the lines, just like a pro, Ashton said. Because of my pain free state of mind, I can actually bare to think of them for once without resorting to crawling into a tiny ball and letting my sobs of pain overtake me. When Edward left in that forest that day, I promised that I would never do anything stupid to him, and I never thought I would find myself in this situation. But things change.

Bella Swan snorting coke? I would have laughed.

It's not like I am an addict though, I know my limit and I don't have a physical need for it, its just help me, that's all it is and ever will be. I'm not like one of those addicts that would do anything for another hit, sure I do some things but it's nothing awful. I wouldn't have had to do this if he hadn't of left me, it's his fault. But lets be honest, why would he have stayed?

I was just a distraction, a weak pathetic human, who apparently has a mind like a sieve, and who apparently couldn't love him as much as he supposedly loved me. Not that he loved me anyway, it was all just a game. I bet the entire Cullen family are laughing at how predictable and pathetic humans can be.

Esme and Carlisle never loved me like their own daughter. Alice was never my best friend. Emmett never thought of me as his little sister. Rosalie, well she was the only one that didn't go along with the whole charade. I knew she hated me, but at least she was being truthful about the whole situation.

I start to remember the first time that I tried that white powder, which is also known as cocaine. It was after the morning where Charlie had decided he had enough, and was attempting to be an authoritative figure for the first time. So there I was eating my cereal with those robotic movements that I had become accustomed to when he tried to do something about it.

"That's it Bella! I cant take anymore of this, I've had enough. i think its time you went home to your mother."

I didn't understand it at first, I thought I had been doing a pretty decent job of making everything appear just peachy, but apparently not. I started to panic. I hated Forks, but I knew I couldn't leave, not yet. I tried to stop my face showing my feelings, as he one told me my face was just like an open book. I carefully put my poker face on.

"Why? Have you had enough of me? What have I done wrong Daddy?"

"Nothing! That is exactly the point I am trying to make Bella. You don't do anything anymore, you're like a zombie and I just can't bare to watch my baby girl go through this amount of pain. I think your mother is better than dealing with this kind of stuff than I am. I'm sorry Bella." Charlie said as a guilty look appeared on his face. He probably felt bad that he was trying to cast me off onto my mother.

"So would you prefer me to start getting into trouble then? Would they make you happy!?" I half-yelled.

"Well it would be bloody better than this Bella. Anything would be bloody better than this state of mind you are in, moping around like somebody died!" Ouch that hurt. I tried making sure I wasn't moping around. Well I guess all my efforts had gone to waste. He knew not talk about what happened four months ago though. It was strictly off limits, he knew that. Why would he bring it up? Why would he intentionally hurt me like that?

"Look Dad, I'm fine. If it will make you feel better I will go out tonight okay? Maybe I will call Angela and Jessica and go see a movie in Port Angeles, or maybe go shopping for some new books." I tried reasoning with him.

"Bella, I shouldn't have to force you into going out. You're eighteen years old, you should want to go out with your friends, not be moping around the house all day. I think we might need to involve a professional honey." I ignored his last comment and decided I couldn't listen to anymore.

"Dad, I don't want to listen to anymore of this okay? I won't be home when you get back so don't worry about me, I will be with Jessica or Angela."

And with that I stormed out of the house, unable to continue the conversation with Charlie. I didn't fully understand why I didn't agree to his idea of moving back in with Mom and Phil. I knew he wasn't coming back, but to be honest, I just couldn't bare the thought of what if. What if he came back for me and he couldn't find me? Pathetic I know, but I was past the point of caring if I was acting pathetic or not. Nothing mattered anymore.

After ignoring my friends for four months, they eventually gave up. I didn't particularly want to try and fix things with them so I decided i would just go out on my own, and hope that Charlie didn't talk to Angela or Jessica's mom's and check that I was doing what I said I would be.

So that evening I drove my truck home as soon as school had finished, grabbed my old purse, climbed back into my truck and drove straight to Port Angeles. I didn't bother to listen to the radio as all music lately seemed to remind me of him.

I wasn't too sure on what I would do with myself once I got into Port Angeles. I knew that i had to stay out for about five hours, or Charlie would get suspicious with why I was home so early.

I decided on just going to the park, and waste a few hours, people watching. As long as I didn't think about things, then I knew I would be fine.

So there I sat, on a rusty bench in the park, with my knees against my chest, watching couples stroll through the park. I just stared at them, part of me filled with revulsion and a part filled with envy of what I once had, which he stole from me.

Just as I was about to get up and leave, this guy came up to me. He looked to be about nineteen years old, with short blonde hair. He was wearing a varsity jacket and jeans. Normally I would of thought he was kind of cute, but I had been running with the supernatural for too long to notice.

"Hey, you seem kind of alone and sad? Want to come to a party I'm having at my house? It might cheer you up?"

He asked in a friendly tone. I was a bit surprised and wary that he was talking to me, but he seemed nice so I shrugged off my concerns. Normally I would have said no straight away. He was a stranger and I had no idea what his motives were. But instead I decided that I had nothing to lose, and I was quite literally past the point of caring what happened to me.

"Sure, why not" I replied feeling a rush of adrenaline for doing something the normal me, goody-two-shoes wouldn't have done.

"Sweet, I'm Josh by the way"

"I'm Bella, so where is your house?"

"Not far, just across the road, follow me."

So that's what I did, I followed this stranger to his house.

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