"Matt..." Tom almost growled out, virtual green eyes narrowed, making the ginger flinch just a tad, "Matt, where's the machine?"

The other man cleared his throat, stalling for time, "Ah, well, you see..."

"It's broken!" replied an identical, albeit younger ginger, and rather sullenly at that, "I took over the world and then you had to go and undo it! And even break my precious ticket to success on top of that!" he yelled accusingly.

His older counterpart snapped his head up with a nasty glare, "I broke it? You threw it up in the air!"

"And you didn't catch it! I thought it was important enough that you'd manage to catch it!"

Older Matt, once again sporting a mechanical eye and metal jaw, which admittedly made for quite the intimidating impression, seemed just about to snap and wring the younger man's neck, who didn't seem too far from resorting to violence himself. They were both snapped out of it, however, by a sudden, borderline hysterical laugh.

"PfahahHAHAHAHA! Really? Really? You finally manage to capture me for your precious leader and then you both manage to lose our only way back?! That's..." the bearded man shook his head, trying to get his laughter under control, "Hah, hehe, that's just typica- Ugh!"

He doubled over from a harsh kick to his midsection, but refused to show weakness, looking up and right into Tom's visor with a wretched grin, teeth stained red with blood.

"Classic stupid Tom, eh?"

Fists clenched, Tom snarled, "Shut up. You don't get to use that phrase. Besides, I'm not the one who-" Tom seemed to come back to the problem at hand, turning back to the two Matts who had been watching the altercation quietly, one blankly while the other was visibly uncomfortable, "Who broke the stupid time machine!"

The younger redhead flinched, not quite used to this older Tom. There was a certain aggression in his stance, a promise of violence tightly coiled under his skin, and a razor's edge to his voice that swore rather than threatened.

Edd and Tom, the younger versions that is, looked on at the spectacle with thinly veiled apprehension. The way these people acted, it seemed nothing like the image they had of themselves. Why was Matt so tired? Why was Tom so angry? And why was Edd so beaten ? A myriad of thoughts and questions swirled around in their heads, but they could only watch.

Future Matt, on the other hand, simply ran a hand down his face tiredly, pointedly not touching his metal bits. He then turned his now exhausted glare to Edd, on his knees with his arms tied behind his back, still somewhat hunched over from the pain.

"This wouldn't have happened in the first place if you hadn't gone and stolen that first time machine. What did you think was going to happen, Edd? What were you trying to accomplish with this- this stupid little trip?"

Edd glared right back, bitter amusement long gone, "Oh, I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear when I tried to kill my younger self ." he ground out. "Do you want me to spell it out for you, Matt? Hm? Would you like the whole rundown on my suicidal tendencies? Oh, how about I compile my downwards spiral into depression chronologically! Would that be enough for you? "

It was Future Matt's turn to look visibly uncomfortable, though he covered it up with a blank, apathetic mask almost immediately. "Whatever." he muttered and sighed, shoulders sagging as if holding up a great weight. He turned to Tom, whose display had begun to tick at being ignored. "Well, there's no time machine now. What do we do, General?"

Tom sighed in aggravation, "Lieutenant General, Matt."

Matt rolled his eyes, yes both of them, "Oh please, the only thing keeping you from that promotion is Red Leader's petty grudge for-"

"And I don't really know what to do." Tom continued blithely. "We had a time machine to recover another and we somehow lost both." He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't even know how to report this so we don't immediately get the boot when we get back."

Edd, because apparently he felt extra snarky today, interjected, "Well look on the bright side. Can't get discharged from an army that doesn't exist yet."

Tom shot him a nasty glare before scowling at the ground, "Shit, we don't even know where his early bases were. Are. Ugh, I hate time travel."

"So," a voice spoke up, and all three time travelers snapped their attention towards this timeline's Edd, flanked by his respective Tom and Matt, "uh, does this mean you guys are stuck here?"

Future Tom and Matt exchanged a look, while Edd's gaze remained on his past self with an indecipherable frown.

"Well," Tom finally drawled, tearing himself away from the silent argument he'd been having with Matt, "yeah, pretty much. For now, at least."

"Until we find a way to get back to our timeline." Matt added, "And drag this idiot back along with us." he muttered, almost as an afterthought, earning him a nasty but somewhat nervous look from Edd kneeling on the ground in front of him.

Younger Edd, unnerved by their dynamics but unwilling to show it, simply nodded. "Well, uh... you are our future selves, and since no one's tried to kill us in the last hour or so, I guess... you could stay with us?"

"WHAT?" younger Tom exclaimed, holding his poor, broken Susan closer to his chest. "Edd, you can't just invite them in! That guy tried to kill you! Several times!"

Matt rubbed his neck for a moment, "Yeah, Edd, I don't... know about this either."

Edd just shrugged, "I mean, you guys have tried to kill me before too. Or... well, at least Matt has, several times. And these guys aren't like the clones from back then. They're our, uh, well, future selves, right? We don't really want them to go off and die of something stupid like the cold. This might... this might become us." he visibly hesitated at the last part, but forced himself to say it. It was the truth after all. He didn't really fancy dying of hypothermia or starvation fifteen years from now just because his past self held a grudge for yet another stupid decision. Not that he terribly wanted to become... this , but the possibility was quite literally staring him in the face.

Tom grumbled but gave in while Matt looked uneasy but decided to go along with it.

"Alright."

Edd looked back at their older selves, "So?"

Tom's virtual eyes pinched in distaste or something like it, but Matt elbowed him and he sighed in defeat, "Yeah sure, not like we have many other options right now. Gonna spring the catch now?" he raised an eyebrow in unimpressed askance.

Edd smiled somewhat sheepishly, "Just three conditions. You," he pointed at future Edd with a frown, "stop trying to kill me."

The bearded man held his gaze for a moment before slumping and looking to the side and muttering, "Not like I care anymore..."

Edd nodded, somewhat unsure but he'd take what he could get. "Second, let him go."

Older Tom immediately tensed while Edd's eyes widened, "No can do. He's a fugitive we've been trying to get to for years, we're not about to let him run wild again."

"Edd, what the hell are you doing?!" Tom's harsh whisper went ignored.

Matt looked at Edd uneasily and somewhat confused, but decided not to comment as Edd frowned at their behaviour, "If you guys get to roam around our house then so does he. It's not like you've anyone to give him up to at the moment, right?"

The visored time traveler seemed just about ready to snap out at him, but collected himself with a deep breath while his companion looked at their prisoner contemplatively. "Well, you're not wrong."

"Matt!"

"What? We could still keep him under surveillance. No weapons and always in the same room as one of us, that way it shouldn't be too hard to restrain him if he does try to escape. Besides, where would he go?" his gaze, still pointed at the man kneeling before them, turned cold, "His rebellion is as dead and nonexistent as our army."

Tom looked down as well, taking in the tense but slumped line of his shoulders, the down-turned face and the many scars littered across any visible skin. Somehow, he didn't think the rebellion was all that important to this man anymore.

Still, he sighed in aggravation, "If you try to escape I will tie you up and stuff you in a closet for the rest of your stay here, do you understand Edd?"

Said man gave a mirthless chuckle, head turning just enough to look at him from the corner of his eye, "Sure Tom. I'll be a good boy, you'll see." he sneered mockingly.

Alright, that was it.

He kicked the man in the chin, ignoring the protests coming from the other side of their little standoff. Grabbing the lapel of his worn leather duster, he pull him forwards to snarl in his face.

"I said," he almost whispered, voice dangerously low, "Do. You. Understand."

Edd very much wanted to say 'Fuck you' just to see what would happen, but he caught sight of the panicked face of his younger counterpart from the corner of his eye and decided that just this once, he wouldn't be difficult. Much.

"...fine, General."

Tom's electric green glare bore into him a few moments longer before he let go and straightened up, pointedly ignoring the unnerved glares he was receiving from the younger three.

"...what that really necessary?" past Tom ground out, finding himself rather put off with this strange, aggressive version of himself.

"Quite." was the reply he got, but he was interrupted before he could release the many creative expletives that were starting to build up at the back of his throat as the man continued speaking coolly, showing no signs of his earlier violence, "What's the third condition?"

Edd stared at him for a moment before deciding to let it go for the moment, "You guys need different names. This will get confusing really quickly otherwise."

All three time travelers paused for a moment, not having considered that tiny little detail. Huh.

"I don't think we need different names, actually." said Tom after some consideration, "You three only ever use your nicknames, so it should be okay if we just used our whole names."

Edd blinked, "That... works I guess." he almost seemed to be pouting and Tom sighed in exasperation.

"You wanted to call him Tommy, didn't you?"

"Yes." Edd admitted unashamedly.

The newly christened Thomas, Matthew and Edward watched the byplay with conflicting emotions, none of the three willing to show it, however.

"Well then," Matt smiled nervously at the three new additions to the household, still not entirely sure how he felt about them, "Let's go, shall we? Looks like it might rain again."

AN:

yeah, see this is what happens when you give me a perfectly funny cartoon, add a smidgen of plot, a hell of a lot of headcanons and me being so absolutely stressed that i needed to vent by having fictional characters yell at each other

aaaaall the angst, all of it. this is so beyond au and far away from the original atmosphere its not even funny. haha you know because it literally isnt funny but so terribly angsty instead? ...ill shut up now

(i have absolutely no idea where this is going please dont expect too much, there might be pairings or there might not this thing wrote itself im just along for the ride)