TITLE:
You've been talking in your sleep
AUTHOR:
Sagadog.
E-MAIL:sagadog@hotmail.com
RATING:
G
CLASSIFICATION:
A (a little bit of R (H/M) as well)
SPOILERS:
None
SUMMARY:
There's only one thing on Earth better than a good wife, and that's no wife..
There is a weeding, or is there?
DISCLAIMER:
They're not mine, if they were I wouldn't be sitting here wondering on how I did
on my exams.
AUTHOR'S
NOTE: This is the first attempt I ever made on writing a ff, I just didn't
finish it until now. There are a few lines from the show, which Mac says in her
dreams, the rest is pure imagination. Thanks a million minus five to Copycat
for beta-reading this
piece.
0800
ZULU
MAC'S
APPARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
Some
odd sounds woke me up. I wonder what they were. I didn't sleep very well,
though. I miss Bud and A.J, but I wanted to be with for the major on the last
night before her wedding.
There
it was again, the odd noise. I look around but can't see anyone except Mac.
Tomorrow should be the best day of her life! It's her wedding
day.
The
noise returns. Oh my God! I didn't know that. She talks in her sleep! Chloe
hase't heard anything; she's still fast asleep.
"Oh
no, not you, not now, Mic, go away." Mac turns her head uneasily. She is making
faces and seems to be pushing someone away. She looks rather uncomfortable. I
wonder what she's dreaming. I remember the night before my wedding. I couldn't
sleep at all; I was too nervous. Funny enough, she hasn't seemed nervous at all.
How often can a bride-to-be say that the night before her wedding day? I know I
couldn't!
"No,
no sir, you're one of them" Mac seems to calm down a little. "Well, sir, it's
just that you're a man and as usual most of my problems are caused by men." "The
commander" She tosses her head again. It seems that she's having a nightmare.
Should I wake her up?
No,
she's settling down again now. Normally, she only refers to Harm as 'commander',
not Mr. Brumby. I lay down again watching her closely, but she's stopped
dreaming I think. At least she's calmed down and is not talking
anymore.
"No,
no go away, leave me alone, Mic. Can't do this any more." Once again Mac's
talking in her sleep wakes me up. She's hitting her hands on the duvet; her head
keeps tossing from side to side. Poor thing. Does she love him at all? I have to
wake her up.
"Mac,
Mac wake up. It's a dream. It's just a dream" I shake her
gently.
"Oh,
Harriet. It wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare." She looks at me with a somewhat
distant gaze. I'm not sure she's really awake.
"What did you dream?" I try to catch her
eye. But she has gone back to sleep.
I
can't fall asleep again. There's something very wrong with this picture. Why
does she sound unhappy when she's dreaming of Mic? She's marrying him tomorrow.
I try to go back to sleep, but it fails to come.
I
get up to make some coffee. If I can't sleep I might as well stay up all
night.
I
walk out to the kitchen and put the kettle on. While the water is heating I walk
around the flat. It's a nice place. It resembles her. The living room is nice
and cosy, the kitchen small and comfortable, but the bedroom is one big mess.
That's
Mac. Smooth and well organised on the outside, one big mess on the inside. Like
her, the place has many aspects to it.
The
kettle whistles so I go out and find the instant coffee and a mug. I make the
coffee and bring it in to the living room.
I
don't feel like sitting down, so I walk around and have a look at the pictures.
There isn't that many. One is from when she was just a little girl. Another
shows her at graduation day. The last one is of Harm. Strange, not a single one
of Mic. I wonder if he has noticed. I have finished my coffee, so I put the mug
out in the sink and return to my bed. I can at least try to go sleep again.
^^^^^^
I
have barely fallen asleep before Mac starts talking in her sleep again. She's
smiling this time. "Mmmm, that's nice, keep doing that." Ok, I don't want to
know what she's dreaming this time! Red light, Colonel. "Harm, come on, you know
I'm right. Sweetie, it's nothing to be ashamed of." She takes a deep happy
breath while she hugs herself. I
can't help smiling at her. That's a woman in love.
Now
wait a minute. She just spoke of Harm. She spoke of Mic and was unhappy, and now
she spoke of Harm and was happy? This is wrong, very wrong! What should I do?
Should I wake her up again and talk to her? Or should I just let it pass, I mean
it's her head, her dream, her life. Hmm, and I might be wrong. Maybe I've got it
all wrong.. Suppose it would do no harm to wait till morning. I feel sleepy. My
last conscious thought before I fall asleep is that I am not wrong, I know
it.
1100
ZULU.
MAC'S
PLACE
I
can't sleep any longer. It's getting light outside but there are still a couple
of hours till it's time to get up. Mac's still asleep and still talking to
herself. "I did not call you Harm, Mic."
She seems annoyed. I suppose
I would be too if I had to make explanations like that. Not that *I* ever cried
out Commander Rabb's name in bed. Oops, don't go there, Harriet.
"Harm,
come back, don't leave me! Nooooo don't die on me." Ok, that's it, now I'm
waking her up! No, maybe it's better to leave it. Ohhh, I have to talk to Bud
about this! No, he's with Harm. Why are those two sleepy heads Chloe and Carolyn
not awake? I have to talk to someone about this. She can't marry Mic, there's
*no* way that will end with a happy couple! She's too much in love with
Harm.
The
sound of the phone snatches me away from my thoughts. The others are still
sleeping so I pick it up. It's my mum. She's babysitting AJ. She wanted to visit
for a few days and we agreed that she might as well come now and then mind AJ
while we're at the wedding. She says he has a fever and is asking for me. I
promise her I'll come as fast as I can. I wake up Carolyn and tell her that I
have to leave and that I'll see them at church. I ask her to explain it all to
Mac.
1450
ZULU
THE
CHURCH
I'm
nervous. Where are they? I really need to talk to Bud about this. I can't let
her go through with the wedding, can I? Everyone else is here and has already
found their seats. Harm is waiting with me, but I wish he would just go inside.
He looks both sad and nervous, so I put my hand on his arm. I feel sorry for
him. He just looks at me with a hurt look in his eyes. He should be happy for
her, after all, it is her choice and he is her best friend. Bud thinks Harm's in
love with Mac. But if he is why hasn't he done something or talked to her? I'm
sure he hasn't because I seriously don't think she would be doing this if he
told her how he felt.
Now
Harm leaves. I can't help twisting my hands. Will Mac be miserable of she goes
through with it?
She
might be able to fool herself to think she'll be happy with him, but it will not
be fair to him. It won't be fair to any of them. Let alone to Harm, after all,
his happiness is also on the line here.
But what can I do? It's her decision. Who am I to tell her it's wrong?
Maybe I should talk to Carolyn about it and see what she thinks? Where are they?
What's taking them so long?
A
car is driving up the lane. I think it's them. It is Bud and the admiral. The
admiral was really proud when Mac asked him to give her away. Thank God, it's
them. Carolyn is the first to get out, then Chloe. "Carolyn, I have to talk to
you!" I hardly give her a chance to get out of the car.
"Harriet,
is AJ alright?" She takes my hands, "You look upset and uncomfortable."
I
take a deep breath and try to gather myself and get my thoughts in order. I
smile nervously at her and start to explain to her all that happened that night,
about Bud's suspicion about Harm's feelings though he'd never say so himself.
When I'm done she just look at me, takes a deep breath and lets it out with a
sigh and a low whistle.
"Wow,
that's something! But why would she agree to marry him if she doesn't love him?
Are you sure about this?"
I
nod. To be honest, I couldn't be more certain. But I would like to know how Harm
feels. Mic I only feel sorry for. He's the victim in this masquerade.
"Harriet,
I honestly don't know what to say or do! It's terrible if it's true and then we
can't let her go through with it!"
"It
is true" Chloe interrupts.
I
look at her. How would she know? "Were you eavesdropping? Is this something she
has told you?"
"Sorry,
I couldn't help myself. No, she hasn't told me. She loves Harm, I just know it."
She looks very sure of herself. I actually trust her judgement. She's very
clever for a kid her age. I have to talk to him.
"Excuse
me, I have to talk to commander Rabb." I walk into the church. Harm looks at me
as I enter. I give him a sign to come outside and Bud follows him
closely.
"I'm
sorry sir, this may be a bit forward, but we haven't got much time. Do you love
the colonel?"
He
looks rather surprised and doesn't answer. He just looks down on the ground, and
then he takes a deep breath as he looks up. Bud looks eagerly at him and we wait
for what seems age in anticipation of his answer.
"
What does it matter? She's marrying Bugme, and if he makes her happy, then I'm
for her." But his facial expression reveals the truth about how he feels. He
does love her, I'm sure of it.
"If
you'll excuse me." He nods briefly and goes into the church again.
Bud
looks at me. He shrugs as if to indicate that's all the answer we'll ever get
from him on that subject, then he goes inside as well. I'd better join them and
leave it to Carolyn and Chloe to wait for Mac.
As
I walk up the aisle I have a look around. Everyone's there. All Mac's friends
from JAG are on one side, and Mic's party on the other. There are a lot of them.
Most of them must have flown in from Australia. I hurry up. There isn't a lot
here for Mac. I have just sat down before the organ starts to play "Here Comes
the Bride".
She
looks like a dream in that dress. The most beautiful but also the most unhappy
bride I've ever seen. She tries to smile but it seems forced. I feel sorry for
her, but she has also kind of brought this on herself, with a little help from
Mic of course.
I
can't let this go on. She looks down as she walks up the aisle. She looks more
like a prisoner approaching the scaffold than a bride. I notice that Harm is
looking at her. He doesn't seem happy either. The minister starts the ceremony.
How can I let her do this to herself, not to mention to Mic, to Harm? The two
men in her life. They both love her, but she only truly loves one of them, and
it is not the one who stands next to her up there. This is wrong and it will
make her miserable, won't it?. I can hardly bare to watch this. I feel very
uneasy. I can't let her go through with it; she's my friend. I can't let her
seek misery like this! But what can I do? She *has* asked for it herself. But if
she had know how much Harm obviously loves her she wouldn't have accepted the
ring in the first place. I'm sure of that much. But who am I to judge? It will
cause all three of them so much pain if she does this. It isn't fair to any of
them. But what can I do? It's too late, isn't it? Where would there be an
opportunity to right all this wrong?
Ok,
there is the part where the priest asks if anyone has objections to the
marriage, if Harm doesn't say anything, then I will. I have to, as her friend if
nothing more.
Just
as I've made up my mind, the priest comes to that part of the ceremony and makes
a pause. I take a deep breath and look around. There is nothing but silence.
Harm is looking down on the floor. Is that a tear in his eye? He won't say
anything, will he? I don't think so. Then it's all up to me. This is my chance,
now I can do something. Now I know what to do, what I have to do. I take a deep
comforting breath and stand up.
"I
do." I look at Mac who turns around, her face lit with surprise. I look at her
and smile as comforting as I can. I know I'm about to embarrass her and she will
expect a very good reason for me to do this. Ok, here
goes..
"I'm
sorry Mac, but I can't let you do this. It's wrong. You're deceiving both him
and yourself. I'm very sorry Mic, but I have to say this; she's my friend and I
can't just stand by and watch her fool herself."
"I
don't think she'll be happy with you. I don't think you honestly believe that
either, but you've been sleeping in your dream. You haven't woken up to see for
yourself that she doesn't love you the way that is necessary to marry you.
You've been dreaming. Mac, don't go through with this. You might think that you
can, but listen to what I have to say.
You
might be able to persuade yourself that you'll come to love him, but it's only a
dreamer's make-believe. Last night you were dreaming and you were talking in
your sleep. You had two dreams; One made you sad and one made you happy. And it
wasn't Mic who made you happy. The name you mentioned wasn't his. And I've been
told that dreamers never lie."
I
take a deep breath. I don't really know what more to say. Can I allow myself to
say that someone else loves her? Even if I don't know for sure? Well, what if I
don't mention any names but only indicate it.
"Mac,
you're my friend and I love you, but I can't let you do this. Not when there is
someone else who loves you, and you love him." There, I said it, there's nothing
more for me to say or do.
Mac
looks at me briefly then she runs out of the church. Harm looks at me and I nod.
He takes after her. Maybe I should have talked to him first. I did try to,
didn't I? But I couldn't get him to confess anything.
Mic
just stands there unable to say a word. I look at him. I feel extremely sorry
for him, but it is for the better. He doesn't deserve to end up in an unhappy
marriage, eventhough this act of mine must have hurt him
endlessly.
His
dad walks over to him; at least I think it's his dad. He slabs Mic on the
shoulder and looks as if he doesn't really know what to say or
do.
"There's
only one thing on Earth better than a good wife, and that's no wife." He says.
God, that man has a morbid sense of humour!
I
better go check on Mac and Harm.
As
I am about to exit the church I see them standing a little to a side. Mac is
crying and he's brushing her cheeks with his thumbs.
"Mac,
why did you let it comes this far if Harriet's right?" Harm asks
her.
She
shrugs, " I don't know, he offered me what I wanted."
"But
Mac, you can't marry someone when you love another."
Those
are the wisest words I've ever heard the commander say. Hm, I better leave the
two alone and return to the chaos I left inside.
"I
know, but if he doesn't love me, then.." Tears are rolling down Mac's cheeks.
Harm doesn't say anything, he just takes her in his arms and holds her
tight.
I
can't tear myself away from the scene that plays before me.
After
a while Mac steps out of Harm's embrace, dries her eyes and looks up at
him.
"Goodbye
Harm. I better get home." She turns around to walk away.
"Do
you want me to go with you?" He looks at her.
She
just holds up her hand and shakes her head, her back still turned towards him as
she walks to her car.
^^^^^^
I
walk over to Harm who looks like a beaten man.
"Did
you tell her, sir?" I have to know whether they solved their issues or
not.
"Told
her what Harriet?" The Harm I know would have told me to bugger off, but he
isn't his usual self at the moment.
"That
you love her?"
"No,
I couldn't."
"Why
not? Are you ever going to?"
He
doesn't answer me, just puts his hands in his pockets, turns around and head
towards his car.
THE
END
