A/N: This is somewhat inspired by my English class. Darn you, Mrs. J. You and your Fishbowls.

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Tidus was getting kinda pissed, and he was pretty sure that any moment now his ears were going to start bleeding.

Besides, he was on a shoopuf. Shoopuf rides are initially enjoyable, but after a while there's something just strange about sitting on one.

Come on. It's called a shoopuf, for Christ's sake.

"-and then there's the importance of the iambic pentameter," droned Auron contemplatively, "and the option of beginning in medias res-"

Tidus resisted the urge to fall on his own sword with more difficulty than might be thought, and grinned with a kind of weak madness.

"Oh, yes?" he said.

Auron seemed to barely notice his response; he continued his lecture almost dreamily in his chainsaw-rough voice.

"Yuna," whispered Tidus, "I think-"

"But in an epic, you always have to remember the journey to the Underworld," said Yuna thoughtfully. She was sitting demurely, with her back perfectly straight.

"Tidus isn't going to the underworld," said Auron disdainfully, breaking off from his trancelike state. "It's not very interesting at all-"

"Plot point, man," yawned Wakka, who was sprawled over half of the little platform. (Everyone else was crowded on the other seat.)

"-or so I've heard," continued Auron blandly.

"Nice save," said Wakka, and went back to sleep.

"I think the random trance probably counts as a journey to an underworld," said Lulu, bored. "He doesn't wake up for a while."

"When's that, again?" said Yuna. "I keep forgetting."

"Later on. When we reach the Wall of the Fayth."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" screamed Tidus, thoroughly baffled and incensed.

"For Yevon's sake, Tidus," said Yuna, "we went on the internet and read up on the plot. Where HAVE you been?"

Tidus grumbled to himself for a moment.

"Don't be so jejune, Tidus."

"You're freakin' comparing my life to an EPIC POEM," said Tidus, though "said" was probably not the most apt description. "Would you shut up?"

"Don't talk in all caps, Tidus," said Auron sourly.

Two men in strange garb jumped onto the shoopuf (I mean, good Lord) and, grabbing Yuna by the arm, did some acrobatic juggling and jumped off. Yuna failed to do anything but look mildly surprised.

"Oh, thank God," said Tidus.