A/N: This just popped into my head one day and wouldn't let me sleep, so here is our very own SwanQueen Christmas Carol. Enjoy. Will be around 12 chapters. Not quite the season, I know, but hey, the Christmas Spirit never sleeps.

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time

Once Upon A Christmas Carol

Chapter 1: Of special frowns and daily missions

Humbug,I think to myself as I walk through the grocery store and yet another jolly Christmas song starts playing.

"I've been dreaming of a white Christmas," the singer sings in an agonizingly slow way, dripping with feelings, and it makes me throw up a little in my mouth. I hate Christmas songs but this one is especially gruesome. I'd rather have a bunch of fire ants eat me as their thanksgiving dinner or suffocate slowly without losing consciousness than have to listen to the monotonous singing of Bing Crosby. Well, at least it's not the Chipmunk version.

I grab Henry's favorite cookies and throw them in my cart. I hate buying cookies for Henry. They are unhealthy and consist of basically just sugar and a few chemicals. I can make cookies that are both healthy and delicious, but Henry won't eat any of those. He says he doesn't like them but I know exactly that he's just afraid I've poisoned them or anything. He is basically right, I've poisoned food before, but never would I poison my own child and also I tend to use apples when I try to poison someone, they are kind of my trademark sign.

A guy walks by. "Good morning, Madam Mayor, merry Christmas," he says joyfully and I force a smile on my face. He is wearing a Santa hat and he looks absolutely ridiculous. Nodding I continue my way through the grocery store, ignoring him and the puzzled look he shoots at me.

I don't do wishing people merry Christmas. I don't do baking Christmas cookies. I don't do buying Christmas trees, I don't do Christmas. It's ridiculous really that anyone does. There is no Christmas in Fairytale Land, there is no Jesus and there certainly is no Santa Claus. I'm not even sure we have any kind of religious holidays. The holiday of love, yikes! It's probably Snow's favorite holiday. I can imagine her sitting under the decorated Christmas tree, sipping hot cocoa with cinnamon (ugh), holding hands with Charming (yuck) and whispering "You found me" over and over again (vomit). Or maybe she prefers Easter, she and Charming can take turns hiding and exchange "You found me's" all day long.

Humbug, this whole holiday charade is nothing but humbug. And the worst about it is that you just cannot escape it, Christmas is everywhere. Decorations are in the streets, in the houses, on the houses. Lights, candles, mistletoes, tiny Santas, giant Santas, people dressed as Santa, trees in all sizes and colors. It seems like everyone is desperately trying to get rid of all their money and spend it on ugly plastic decorations.

I realize Santa is not far from Satan and I chuckle because that's exactly how I feel about the fat old man in his red suit. Honestly though, does nobody think it is rather creepy that some old man makes your children sit on his lap and asks them what they are whishing for only to come through your chimney late at night to give them just that? In my reality that's either a burglar or a pedophile. And I welcome neither.

Just as my mood hits rock bottom I run into someone who quickly mumbles an apology. As I'm about to complain about the apology and scold the person for being so careless I look up at the person and freeze. Eyes that contain every color imaginable stare back at me, slightly in shock. Emma Swan, Merry Christmas to me.

"Sherriff Swan," I say coldly.

"Madam Mayor," she replies, obviously just as happy to see me as I am to see her. I look down and expect to see that horrific red leather jacket, but she's chosen to wear a thick grey winter jacket today. It is quite cold outside and in my mind I congratulate her on her wise choice. She is also wearing a knitted hat, also grey, bringing out the grey in her eyes. It's funny how her eyes change color depending on what she's wearing or how the light hits her eyes and sometimes even her mood. And I remember every single one of them. I especially like the furious-crazy-eyes.

Right now she's staring at me with her eyes slightly widened and an angry pout. God, she looks adorable. I don't have feelings for Emma Swan. I just don't. It's just that ever since I casted the curse and woke up in this strange little town called Storybrook (really, Rumple, Storybrook?!), I've waited for someone to step up to me, to make me feel like the Evil Queen I was, to bring back the anger and power I feel whenever I crush somebody's dreams. And I've waited and waited, but no one did, not even Snow and it was driving me crazy! I wanted to see them suffer, to make them suffer, but they didn't. Well, they were apart from one another, didn't even know who they were and it was fun to watch, at first, but they also didn't miss each other. They lived their sad little lives in peace and they just didn't deserve peace. They were avoiding me and backing down whenever I threw an insult their way, agreeing with me and apologizing for whatever they had done and I just wanted to see their eyes filled with pain, fear and fury. Nobody was daring enough to fight back.

When Henry came things changed slightly. He was a child after all and even though he loved me dearly back then, he was a challenge. He would refuse to eat his vegetables or he would beg for hours to let him watch TV and then fall asleep on the couch, he would cry and whine because he didn't want to go to kindergarten on his first day and he refused to even leave his bed when his first day of school came. He was a challenge, but he wasn't enough of a challenge. Something was missing and at first I didn't realize what it was, but after Emma Swan showed up on my doorstep I suddenly understood. I couldn't hate him. I loved him for who he was and for what he had brought into my life and I would never hurt him in any way. I wanted to cuddle on the couch for hours or read stories to him, help him with his homework, anything really to spend time with him. His love was a gift from heaven, but it wasn't quite all that I wanted, what I needed.

I wanted fights, I wanted tears, I longed to see fire in somebody's eyes. And Emma Swan gave me just that. Finally I had somebody to hate, who would hate me back and show me that they did. I would use every possibility to make her miserable, to stir the fire inside her. When she assaulted my precious apple tree I felt more alive than I had for almost 28 years. When we fought in the storage room and she backed me up against the locker with hate sparkling in her eyes I felt like I was going to burst from joy. My ideas what to do with her ranged from scratching her eyes out to biting her head off and I loved it. She challenged me, she stood up to me, she made me feel. For the first time in 28 years I had something to be really passionate about, apart from Henry that is.

I would spend my sleepless nights coming up with plans how to torture her even more, I would make her spend hours at my office just to watch her fume and at some point, somehow she had set camp in my mind. I fell in love with the challenge she was and I found myself thinking about her more and more. I started getting a little protective over her, no one was allowed to insult her, to fight with her except me. Rumple was not allowed to threaten her or try to talk her into making a deal with him and Snow was not allowed to snap at her when she made fun of her and Charming. Her fury and her anger were reserved just for me. I loved it how she hated me, I loved it how she made me hate her, but at the same time I didn't hate her at all. After Henry had brought back my tender feelings, she brought back my passion.

I was so incredibly thankful for her being in my life and that's when I started getting confused.

After Daniel I had made me promise myself never to fall in love again and the constant pain I felt whenever I thought about him (and I did a lot) did a quite good job of reminding me of that promise. But love begins with passion and, oh, there was a lot of passion. I constantly wanted to be in her company (to anger her of course) and I started to notice little things about her I hadn't noticed before. Like her eyes. They were my favorite part of her. The colors, the raw emotions in them, I could spend hours staring at them, waiting to spot another expression or another shade I hadn't seen yet. Of course I didn't, but I still wanted to. I memorized every expression of her face, every frown, every pout, every smile. She had a special smile for Henry and a special frown for me. And I tried my best to bring out that special angry, slightly confused frown that was there, waiting in her repertoire of expressions, just for me and only for me.

But while I was coming up with plans how to bring out that frown, little voices in my head kept telling me to show her how much I appreciated her hate, how much I appreciated her. Now I couldn't just show up at her apartment with flowers and a Hallmark card saying "Thank you for hating me" on Valentine's Day or invite her over for dinner, so I did the only thing I could come up with without making her suspicious: I let her spend more time with Henry. I asked her to watch him for a day because there was some emergency at work that needed my full attention, I arrived ten minutes late in the evening when I was supposed to pick him up, saying I was held up in a meeting, I even let him stay with her on Christmas, explaining to her that I didn't celebrate Christmas and therefore didn't need him to spend Christmas with me. I was being more civil with her, our fights became less and somehow her presence alone became enough for me to remind me of the passion I had. Still I made it my daily mission to bring out that frown. So no, I didn't have feelings for her. Not at all, no.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Sherriff?" I break the silence after our little staring contest.

"Umm," she starts, obviously a little uncertain, "Henry has been telling me to ask whether you would…like to join us on Christmas Day and have dinner with us." It sounds more like a question and I'm caught a little off guard. Emma Swan is inviting me over to the Charmings to have Christmas dinner with them. I'd rather bathe in hot lava than eat with Snow White and her lovebird of a husband.

"Miss Swan, as you are very well aware I do not celebrate Christmas, therefore I do not intend to have a Christmas dinner of any kind, not at my home and certainly not at your home." Home. The house on Mifflin Street has never been a home to me. It's a wonderful house, it's elegant, cozy and the garden is incredible, but my home is a simple stable with my favorite horse and the man I love inside. My home is far, far away from me, both in distance and in time.

Emma instantly reacts to my rejection; the anger is evident in her eyes. "Oh come on Regina, it's just a dinner and it's important to Henry to have you there. You might not celebrate Christmas but it means something to Henry and he wants to have his whole family together on Christmas, don't you understand that? So for once stop being so stubborn and just accept the invitation." There is this word again, family. I have a mother, I have a father, I have a son. I have no family. Family means love, family means comfort and family means trust. I trusted my father and where did it get me? I love my son and how does he thank me? And where was the comfort when my mother used to torture me.

"Christmas is just a poor excuse for picking a woman's pocket every 25th of December." That's not why I hate Christmas, obviously, but it's a good excuse and it sounds poetic. And also it's true. People keep showing up at my office asking me for some kind of Christmas benefit. Money for the poor and helpless. Why again are they poor and helpless? Oh, I remember, because I made them.

The Sherriff frowns and runs a hand through her hair. No, that's not the frown I want. She looks back at me with an annoyed expression. "Please, Regina. For Henry." Henry wants me do spend Christmas with me. To do what? To stare at me angrily while he is making plans for Operation Cobra (yes, I know about that)? To check everything that looks the slightest bit like it could be an apple for poison? To ignore me overall and make me hurt even more? I think I'll pass. And I do not celebrate Christmas!

"I am sorry Miss Swan and I appreciate your effort, but I do not celebrate Christmas and I do not intend to have Christmas dinner with you or your family or anyone. However, I do expect you at my office at 7 to discuss you budget plan for the next year." I almost have her. I can see the frown building, but then her face drops and she just looks tired.

"Regina, it's Christmas," comes her reply and she sounds just how she looks: exhausted and tired of fighting.

"Then 7.30." I almost laugh at myself; this is just too much fun. She is shaking her head now.

"Regina, December 25th is an official holiday, you can't just make me work on a holiday, I have rights." The "I have rights"-speech, adorable. But she won't give me the frown and so it's not half as much fun and I decide to drop it.

"All right then. Think of it as my Christmas present and have a day off, but I expect you in my office an hour early when the holidays are over to make up the lost time. This town doesn't run itself and my time is precious, so please don't be late." I don't give her time to reply and just leave her hanging. But as I turn around and make my way down the aisle I feel my heart pounding in my chest and a grin appears on my face. She has given me the frown. My frown.

Today's mission accomplished.

A/N:Reviews and critics are always welcome.