DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR

A/N: A quick little oneshot, written for Synaptic-Firefly's Valentine's Day oneshot challenge over at the KND Fan Forum, the link to which is at the top of my profile page. Don't get your hopes up too high. lol

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, YAH STUPID GIRL

All of the tables had heart-covered tablecloths. Heart-shaped red, pink, and white streamers littered the walls, accented by similarly colored hearts of various sizes. The occasional cupid suspended, in the air, ready to loose an arrow at unsuspecting lovers at any moment. More stinkin' hearts. It was no easy tasking sprucing up hollowed-out chunk of ice for a holiday- except for Christmas, maybe- but the Kids Next Door Arctic Base's cafeteria's decor rivaled that of any proper building. Especially the amount of hearts.

It was nauseating.

"Isn't it pretty, Numbuh 4?!"

Wally scoffed. "That's not how I'd describe it."

Kuki munched happily on her heart cookie, either not hearing or not concerned by his remark. "How long, do you think, until Numbuh 1 finishes?"

Wally shrugged, examining the handmade valentines laid out on the table next to him. "Dunno. He likes to stick around till the prisoners are all locked up in their new cells." He picked up one of the cards. "'If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest girls alive, you would have one dollar.'" He scratched his head. "Ugh, math. Who made these stupid things?"

"The Cadets Next Door organize the Valentine's Day party, so probably them. I think they use it as an excuse to get out of training for a day. Lucky for them, Numbuh 60 really likes cookies."

Wally turned to the table, and started sifting through the cards. "'Did you land on your face when you fell from heaven?' Dumb. 'If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'S' together.' Worse. 'I need a map, 'cause your eyes are confusin'.' Ugh, those cadets are morons!"

"Um, what are you looking through those for, Wally?"

Wally spun around. "Uh, n-no reason! Hey, where did Numbuh 2 go?"

"He went over to the punch bowl with Numbuh 5. Want to join them?"

Wally's face flushed. For the first time in days, there was no one else within earshot. "Actually... uh... maybe we could stay... right here... an'... talk..."

Kuki seemed to perk up. "Okay! What do you want to talk about?"

"Well... er... w-we're friends, right? Like, good friends. Right?"

She leaned in a tad closer. "Uh-huuuh...?"

"Ah... er... an'... an' weeeee... we've known each other for a while now, right?"

"Yeeeaaahhh...?"

"A-a-an' we have things in common. Right?"

"Like our love-" She sneezed. "...for Rainbow Monkeys?!"

Wally, having stumbled back into the table, pushed himself back to his feet, straightening up and clenching his fists. "Are you stupid?! No!"

Kuki crossed her arms. "You don't have to be so mean, you know."

"And you don't have to be such a bonehead!"

Wally winced, bracing himself for her retort. There was no way to be sure whether to expect a verbal or physical response; neither was uncommon, and neither was pleasant. What was uncommon was Kuki not responding at all. She opened her mouth, as if about to, but whipped around and stomped away instead. Wally glared at her until she reached the refreshments on the far side of the room, at which time he smacked himself in the face and groaned. "I'm the stupid one..."

"Aye, yah really botched that one, yah dummy!"

Fanny Fulbright. Numbuh 86, the KND's Head of Decommissioning. Hater of boys. Not exactly Wally's favorite person. Apparently she had entered the room in time to witness their conversation crash and burn. She made her way over to him, exhibiting a prime example of a smug grin.

"And what do you mean by that?!"

Fanny let out a derisive snort. "Oh, nothin'. I'm sure yah meant to tick off Numbuh 3. That seems to be your specialty, doesn't it, yah stupid boy?"

Wally clinched his fists again. She was really having a ball with this. "Go soak your head. I'm really not in the mood."

"Oh-ho-ho!" This seemed to only entice her further. "Yah only feel like dishin' out the insults today, huh? That's not very sporting of yah!"

"Shut up, yah stupid girl!"

"Such a tough guy, afraid of makin' a fool of himself!"

"Numbuh 86, I'm warnin' yah...!"

"Yah don't even have the guts to tell Numbuh 3 how yah feel without-"

"Ha!" Wally raised his pointer finger, almost poking Fanny in the nose. "That's rich, comin' from the likes of you!"

Fanny recoiled, her brow furrowed. "W-whaddaya mean?"

"For your information, I have no problem makin' a fool of myself! Ask anyone! Numbuh 4 ain't scared o' nothin'!" A sinister grin sprawled across the boy's lips, which caused to Fanny to shrink back further. "Unlike some people, I ain't plannin' on decommissionin' Numbuh 3 after I tell her!"

It took a moment for his meaning to register with her, but it made not less of an impact. She gasped, taking a step back to catch herself from falling over. All the color had drained from her face. Her knees buckled, and her hands were shaking, but her eyes remained locked with his. It was all she could do not to scream. Eventually, she did manage to start stammering. "I-I-I... b-b-b-but... y-you... h-h-how could... c-c-can't... there's n-no... uh... oh..."

Wally chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets in triumph. A long minute would pass before Fanny could form coherent sentences again. "How... how do you remember that?! Your memory was... was wiped! You were fully decommissioned!"

"Uh, yeah! And then you recommissioned us! We got all our memories back. Includin' your little confession."

"I... but... that..." She buried her face in her hands, almost knocking her helmet off. "Ooh, this can't be happenin'!"

"An' why not? You're always actin' all high an' mighty, bein' a real creep to everyone else! It's about time somethin' came back around to yah!"

She lifted her head enough to look at him, though the right side of her face was now concealed under her hair. "W-what are yah goin' to do?"

The blond boy's eyes began to wander around the room, as if he were losing interest in the current conversation. "Who said I wanna do anythin'? I sure don't want people to know that Numbuh 86 has a crush on me. Not that that's a shock or anythin'- I can hardly blame you- but it's still be embarrassin'. So, as long as yah lay off me an' my mates, I think we'll all be just fine."

A long moment passed. She didn't speak again.

Wally snorted. "I wonder where Kuki got those stupid heart cookies. A cookie's a cookie, after all." And with that, he ambled off in the direction of the refreshments, leaving the girl paralyzed in his wake.

Wally downed the last of his punch. Someone had told him it was fruit punch, but it was different from any he'd ever had before. He figured the cadets probably made it themselves.

Someone crashed into him from behind, almost knocking him over, but catching him at the same time. He looked down to discover a pair of green sleeves wrapped around him at chest-level.

"Kuki!"

The girl giggled, releasing him. "How did you know?"

Wally rolled his eyes. "I'm just good like that. So, are you speaking to me again?"

"Of course I am! I couldn't stay mad at you, silly! And, besides..." She clasped her hands behind her back and shuffled her feet. "How I stay mad after you got me a valentine?"

Wally blinked. Several times. "Huh?"

Kuki procured a small, red card, much like the handmade valentines Wally had sifted through earlier. Only, this one didn't look as shoddy. Still handmade, but without the caked-on glitter or poorly drawn hearts. (Seriously, how do you mess those up?!)

She held it up, and read, "'You must be made of copper and, um... tell-yer-um, because you are cute.' 'Cute' is written funny, I wonder if that's important..."

Wally scratched his head. "What does that even mean?"

Kuki shrugged. "I dunno, but I can tell that it's sweet! Especially coming from... from you."

"Uh... I never gave that to you."

"Well, not directly, of course! She did. Don't worry, she told me you don't want to make a big deal out of it. I won't bring it up again. I just wanted to tell you how much I love it!"

"Who...?" Something clicked in Wally's head. In a moment of clarity, he understood what was happening. When Kuki embraced him again, he scanned the room until he met the gaze of a downcast Fanny.

Kuki released him. "Numbuh 2 says we'll be ready to leave soon. I'm going to grab some snacks for the trip back. I'll see you on the ship!"

Wally grunted, not breaking his eye contact with Fanny. She hadn't acknowledge him, or made any sort of movement at all. She simply stared. And Wally stared back.

It was time to go. Wally lumbered toward the door, which happened to take him very near to where Fanny was standing. At the closest point, where they were only a few feet apart, Wally stopped. He looked to the door, then back to her, then back to the door, then back to her. A sly smirk appeared on his lips.

"You're alright, Numbuh 86. A good fight is healthy every now an' then." He resumed walked. "Happy Valentine's Day, yah stupid girl."

A/N: Dumb. Much like the holiday. But, there it is. lol

Thanks for reading!

- Marty