When Astaroth Met Yoshimitsu



AN: Okay, I might build on this if anyone says they like it, Astaroth, Lizardman and Yoshimitsu are my favorite characters in case you couldn't guess

I don't own any of this, and if this story makes any money then I'm not the one getting it.

It was a hot day, I didn't like the heat. Especially not on a day like this. Moist air joined the heat to make me sweat drawing annoying little flies. Odd that I should sweat out here yet live in a place as fiery as Pangea Shrine, it must be the humidity then. Still, whatever caused it I sweated and the bugs came. Annoying little brainless flies that tried land on my flesh and bite me. I swatted most of them, the rest couldn't punch through my hide.

The flies didn't just annoy me because they bit me, but because so many thought me as stupid as the flies. To them I am simply a brainless pawn, I charge when told and fight till told to stop. They give me the most laughable rewards, a chunk of meat, a compliment to my strength. They think it is enough, as though I were one of there dogs! I spit out their foul tasting cow corpses! I despise their condescending "compliments" which merely veil their hidden smirks of amusement at what they see as a stupid animal!

Despite this I still serve them. My real master ordered me to, and while I waste no love on him either, he has a force stronger than non-existent stupidity. Fear. Pain. Power. Those are the elements that keep me chained to Him. He ordered me to assist the priests, so I do.

Someday, though. Someday I'll hear their last screams, their dying wails of agony. I'll have a laugh as they beg for mercy from that which they scorned. Oh, I'd memorized every detail of how their broken bodies would bend in agony, every sound of their pathetic whimpering. Alas, that day is not today.

I was entering the lands of humans. Humans were the true flies of the universe, more annoying and stupid than the little insects could ever hope to be. I'm not sure which is the stupidest kind of human. Across the ocean are mostly shorter, slanty eyed, tanned ones who seem to have a religion about finding peace with the universe or some stupid thing like. When you find peace you lose your fighting edge and your enemies get you. Stupid. Over here there were pale ones, mostly bigger, with a wider range of color. They worship a man named Jesus, by singing about his death and I think there's something about drinking his blood and eating his flesh. Christians, as they are called, say Jesus told them to be nice, but I haven't seen anything that says they listened. I'm not sure of any of this, but it's what I've been able to gather from my brief skirmishes with humans. Regardless of what kind of human they are, they are all weak little creatures and call me a monster and tell me to go to various places of torment.

A few months ago I killed a ship full of humans. I thought they knew about Soul Edge, but they were too stupid to be of use to me and just died with a look like a cow in their eyes. A waste, but fun.

I found a wooden fence of some kind in my way. I charged though it breaking the weak little beams. Humans built weak little buildings to keep other weak little humans out.

The fence held a bull and some cows in a pasture. The bull was not happy about my appearance. It stared at me with its stupid little eyes and began to beat its hooves. I think its horns and thick skull must have crammed its poor little brain to hard if it was planning on attacking me. It was. It did. The bull charged me with all its might, I seized its horns and tossed it aside. I forgot to let go of one horn and it came off the creature's skull.

The bull lay on its side groaning in pain. It thrashed and huffed. I stepped down hard on it, making a most satisfying roar. I would have ended the poor creatures misery, but I was mad and this dumb animal was the perfect target for my rage. I stomped it with my feet and hammered it with my axe handle, the bull roared and tossed as it became a bloody mess. Soon its pathetic struggles ceased, the king of the meadow had been dethroned by invaders. I sneered contemptuously beneath my mask at the once proud bull's now mangled corpse.

"Hey, get away from my animals ya THIEF!" came the cry.

I stepped aside and turned around. A plainly dressed farmer with a pitchfork stared back at me, its stupid eyes flicked to the bull and back to me. The farmers eyes went from an enraged look to terror as he realized a few things: I was a lot bigger than he had guessed, I had a very large axe, I had spikes coming out of my back, and I had singlehandedly killed his bull.

"Y-y-y-you're a-a-a m-m-m-mm-monster!" he shouted

I bellowed a laugh as he charged for his house, jumping the fence and darting in to the squat little home.

I charged, delighted at the chance to smash another human. The fence splintered. I charged again. The door to that ugly little house flew off its hinges.

The farmer stared up from kneeling position, prayers interrupted. He was with a full grown woman, his wife I guess, and a little girl, their daughter.

"P-p-p-p-please, in God's name leave us alone!" the farmer wailed.

"S-s-s-s-stay away in the name o' all that's holy!" said his wife crossing herself.

I sneered again. I began to kick dust like a bull, and then charged with all my fury.

"AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!" I cried as pain erupted in my side.

I turned around and their he was. The man who had stopped me. Baggy green clothing, metal helmet, a now bloody curved sword, a skull mask, and what looked like a banner on his back.

I charged at him again and barely saw his foot pound into my face.

Then he sat down! He simply sat there cross-legged and pounded his sword handle on the ground!

I was only beginning to notice this as I was still struggling to stand up. And that's when it hit me. He was dressed and equipped like an eastern man, not from this side of the world.

Questions later I decided, death to my enemies now. I charged with all my might, hurtling forward with all my unholy strength. My attacker simply spun round, still cross-legged, and there was a flash of light. He wasn't there anymore!!

Suddenly I was going up, spiraling round. My attacker was behind me, he was lifting me!

Then we flipped upside-down and my head hit the floor.

I knew how the bull had felt, to have its most fearsome charge scornfully stopped. Frustration ran through my veins. I noticed that the farmer and his family were no longer present.

"Who, who are you..." I groaned

"I am called Yoshimitsu, I am here to protect the farmer you attacked," the attacker replied in Japanese, odd that he didn't speak the local language.

So this is how it would end for me. No priests begging my mercy. No respect gained. I would simply be slaughtered by a lone warrior who had utterly humiliated me in battle. I was going to die for hating a bull. Worse, I was going to die like the bull, helpless, simply left alive to amuse my killer. Worse yet, I was going to die!!

I wished I had a mother right then. Someone to shelter me from the harsh blows of the world, but no one would shelter Astaroth, he was a plaything and a tool. Meant to be used not wept for.

"May there be mercy for you," Yoshimitsu said solemnly. "May you find peace somewhere."

I almost laughed, my enemy cared more than those I served for my well-being. But none of that mattered anymore, I was going to die...