Tortured Hearts

Tobi is a good boy

I do not own the works of JRR Tolkien or any of the characters.

Elros turned his head, his voice soft in the night. "I guess this is it, then."

Elrond did not reply, looking instead to the night sky. Here, in the sky, the stars shone. He tried to count them, but could not. He could not focus on the stars tonight. He could not focus on anything. His thoughts swirled so loudly in his head that it was overpowering his facilities.

Anger raged in his heart, so fierce that his cusped hands were shaking. He carefully hid them under the covers. He could not let Elros see. He could let his brother see his weakness.

Why? Why did everyone leave him? Why was it that he, always he, was left alone?

These thoughts in his head he did not speak, they screamed to him in his mind.

"I won't be leaving you alone, Elrond," Elros said, reaching out to touch Elrond's arm.

Elrond flinched, crossing his arms over himself. He rolled away from his brother, onto his side. He could not let his brother see him like this. He was supposed to be the older brother. The one who looked out for Elros. The one who protected him.

His words came out clipped, carefully articulated. "You will die, Elros. Like all men."

Elros clicked his tongue, an irritating habit he picked up from Maedhros. Maedhros used to click his tongue when irritated, and it somehow had passed down to Elros.

"You do not understand brother. We can never be separated, even in death."

How could he say those things? How could he, his own brother, leave him to become mortal? How could he know?

Elrond looked out onto the night sky, looking out into the great stretch of the universe and the brilliant stars. Their beauty, their light, not even his father's star, could not quiet the discord in his heart.

How could I live without my brother?

Elros was always the one looking for adventure. Looking for the next adrenaline rush. Living on the edge, constantly moving.

He was the one who Elrond constantly had to bandage after one too many. He was the one Elrond constantly had to tell to be careful. The one that Elrond hated to admit how much he loved his brother.

Elros was the affectionate one. The one who was open with his feelings, gay and laughing.

Elrond was the more quite one. He loved books and the soft furnishings of his home. The soft peacefulness of home. The same things, the same books, the same routine consistent.

When it came to it, they were the exact opposite but the same.

It was as if they were one half a whole pieces.

What will I do when he leaves? How will I become whole?

Elrond curled into himself, his heart aching at the thought of being separated from his brother. His heart aching at the thought of being alone.

How will my tortured heart live on?

Elros turned towards him. Elrond could feel his cool breath on his back.

"It will live on through my love, penneth. And through all my childrens' children throughout the ages. Not for one moment will my love for you fade, my brother."

Elrond swallowed, the tears falling down his face.

He struggled with the words, that he for so long trained himself not to say. "And do not forget my love, oh my stupid brother."

Elros punched Elrond on the arm. He laughed, "That's the spirit!"

The two brothers hugged each other, holding onto to each other.

X

Elrond looked down at the newborn baby. The bright brown eyes and smiling, cheery face.

Yes, his brother was still with him.

And in his heart, he heard his brother's voice replying:

Always.