The first thing I have to say is that I am not a native speaker, so there might be a few mistakes… But I love the English language so much and I think that it has its own magic that I want to write in English.
I know that there will be a few mistakes in this story but if you would be so kind as to write me a message to tell me of them, I will immediately correct them :)
Well, I hope you like my story.
Disclaimer: All figures belong to Joanne K. Rowling and I don't earn my money with these stories.
Loving Someone Else
Dear Ron,
you may ask yourself why I'm writing you a letter instead of just talking to you – at least we see each other every day because we kind of live together being both in Gryffindor House – but I want to say something to you that I cannot possibly say directly to you. I have to write you therefore. I know that this is very cowardly but it's my only way to tell you what is killing me lately. Maybe with this letter I ruin everything – your love, our friendship, perhaps even Harry's friendship – but if I remain silent I go mad. I'm really getting sicker and sicker every day because of my guilty conscience – and that's the reason for this letter.
It's two o'clock in the morning – I'm sitting in the Common Room, obviously writing you this letter – because I can't sleep having to think about us all the time. When you took my hand for the first time a few days ago it felt so good and warm and just comfortable that I just let you do this and didn't stop you at that point. So, of course, from this day on you always took my hand when we were alone and still I didn't stop you. But when you began to hold me very tightly and suddenly came so near to me, my body reacted but alas not as you would probably wish it to react – I became sick, very sick actually and I felt the whole last night as if I was going to vomit which was of course no nice feeling and very stressful because I didn't sleep well. And so I started to analyse why my body is reacting this strange and uncomfortable way – because I really do like you! While I thought a lot about you and me I realized that that what has began to increase between us is absolutely wrong. It's not your fault – it's definitely mine! I deceived myself, ignored my inner thoughts, my screaming warning alarm in myself and you have to suffer now because of my foolish being.
Well, the problem is that I am already in love with someone else. But this someone is forbidden and will be so for a long time – presumably for ever… And that's why I was so desperate and felt so alone that the attention you gave me distracted me and killed my rationality at once. You know I never got much attention from boys and am therefore very inexperienced. So when you came and started to give me this attention I was really flattered by this unknown feeling that pervaded me every single time you took my hand or hugged me this special way or just looked at me with your lovely gaze. But then I began to realize that I don't really love you. I mean, I thought I would love you, at the beginning, because I already knew that you are amazing, but now I know that I don't love you – I love the things you do with me. And that's a great, great difference… And that's why my body is rebelling to you…
I am sorry that I needed so long to get to this conclusion and that I gave you so much time and reaction to hope for more, maybe even for a lovely relationship. I am really, really sorry… But I had to be honest with you because I possibly couldn't be able to go on like this for another minute – it's not good for me, and it's not good for you either because I would lie to you when I would say I would love you because I don't.
It is not fair to take the second choice only because you can't take the first one. I know this now – and start to live with my own advice…
So, I hope that you will understand me – and that you won't hate me after reading this letter… I am just a little naïve girl who still has to find out what is right and what is wrong in the first place – and not just when everything is already destroyed…
Yours – but in another way,
Hermione
THE END.
If anyone would like me to translate their stories from English into German (in which I hardly make any mistakes :) ), then just write me a message and I will think about it. :)