THOSE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES
Author's Note : I don't own FFVII. This is my side side story while I was writing my sequel titled Lasting For An Eternity. I borrowed the title from Queen's song. Basically, I want to capture someone's loneliness at heart in this fanfic, and of course you know who he is…^_^
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Chapter 1
BITTER PAST
As I enter Midgar, my eyes catch people walk around, it's very crowded. After All, Midgar is always crowded. The difference this time is its decoration. There are many banners around every corner of Midgar. Those banners have a 'Long Live Midgar !' written on them. Balloons are also tied neatly in every place, as well as colorful party ribbons. To my perception, the exceptional decoration is fresh flowers which are nicely arranged in array, accompanying banners, balloons and other party thingies. The fragrance of those flowers hangs up in the air, cherishing the moment. On Midgar's city hall, there is a medium sized stage, built for speeching purpose. There is a big bouquet of flower on the stage. Around the main streets, a special lamp decoration is placed carefully by some people. Clearly, Midgar is going to celebrate something.
I know what the occasion is. It is called 'Midgar Renewal Day', and it is held for each five years. Its purpose is simple enough : to make every citizen of Midgar realize that they would never be like this if Meteor really hit Midgar long time ago, and they are saved by a group of rebel who fought against Shinra, called The Avalanche. At least, those are what I have in my brain. More about that, I need to review my history book when I was at elementary school.
Personally, I have never been to Midgar to witness this celebration, because I live in Kalm with my parents and my grandfather. They all love me. My grandmother has passed away when I was 10-years old. I was very sad when my grandmother left our life. She was a caring person to her family, especially my grandfather and me. The most shocked person to know my grandmother's death was my grandfather.
After I finish my business in Midgar, I pace my steps to my buggy car waiting outside Midgar to take me back home, to Kalm. Eventually, I see a large bouquet of flower on one side of Midgar's main street. This bouquet is different from others. Flowers are arranged nicely in such an order, and they form an image of a woman. I watch closely that bouquet with awe. The flower arranger must be a very neat and careful person that he/she could arrange those flowers to depict an image of someone. I now take a closer look at the image. Actually, I don't know who she is, or what is relation between her and Midgar's celebration. After all, I don't really care and continue my steps.
"I am home !", I announce my coming to anybody inside house. There, I find only my grandfather sits on the couch. He smiles at me, obviously, he wants to say 'welcome'.
"Your parents have their dinner outside, at their friend's party. However, your mother has prepared a delicious dinner for us", my grandfather explains to me as he knows what I am going to ask. I only nod to him. I am a 21-year old man, I could survive if it's only a matter of dinner. Suddenly, he asks me, "How's your trip to Midgar ?". I reply, "It's fine. Hey, Grandpa, do you know that there is celebration at Midgar ? That is…". Before I finish my sentence, Grandfather coughs heavily. His breath goes heavy. I move to get his medicine, but quickly he grabs medicinal drugs in front of him and put them into his mouth. After a few seconds, he is normal again.
"Well…sorry for that incident", my grandfather says to me, takes a breath, and then changes the subject, "Did you watch the celebration preparation in Midgar ? That's good…".
I only shake my head in concerning motion. My grandfather always acts like everything is fine. In fact, I know he is not. Even he cares about me very much, he is very introvert person. Only my grandmother could understand him. They love each other very much, and my grandfather's health started to drop since my grandmother passed away. It has been lasting up to now, but to my wonder, sometimes, my grandfather is very agile and accurate in doing some things. I guess he had ever joined some kind of military or such, but he, Grandmother, and my parents never told me about his past. My parents even told me that everyone has right to keep own past, and I must respect that.
"So…what are you waiting for, Grandson ?", my grandfather question pulls me back to the reality. "You look very curious about me", he smirks at me. I only grin to him, and reply, "Well, sort of that…you never tell me your….life…". My grandfather only raises his brow, his smile is still on his face. He shrugs his shoulder and finally speaks to me,
"Well..alright, you are just like your father…stubborn…", he chuckles. His voice sounds tired when he adds, "Let's have our dinner, and then we can get along together, and maybe I'll tell you my story…".
After having our dinner, we just sit down on couch inside Grandfather's room. We just keep quiet to each other until my grandfather breaks the silence with his question,
"What do you want to know, Grandson ?".
I pause for a moment, and give him reply, "I want to know your story when you were young, Grandpa…what was it like ? Especially when you met Grandma…". I tease Grandfather with playful tone. I know he will not be angry. He just chuckles and then says,
"You really want to know that ? Well…I'll tell about that. Actually, I and Grandma were a childhood friend…I used to have crush with her…She was a real star among the other men !".
"You were lucky then…", I laugh softly, tries to joke with him. Surprisingly enough, my grandfather rather ignores my response, he just continues his story with soft and very, very sad tone,
"My life was very twisted with fate, sonny….I was trained to be a soldier, and actually I was joining SOLDIER, that was special forces under Shinra corporation, the Mako-greedy company, but somehow I deserted myself from SOLDIER and did some things with…my way". I get the bell rings in my head now. That's it. My grandfather was an ex-soldier, no wonder he is still agile and his body looks tough. I pay more attention to his story again.
"After I left SOLDIER, I…met up with some people. We gathered up as a rebel group…you'll know about it later. They were people who dreamed about freedom. They hated Shinra, and each of them had their own reason. We fought Shinra, and for that, Shinra chased us, but luckily, we were always survived. There, I got closer with your grandmother. She cared about me very much, but sometimes she tried hard to hide it. I didn't hope too much on that, and just lived my life as it was, until someday, on our mission, we…had a trouble. We were taken apart by situation. I was ripped off from the others, and I fell from the roof of Midgar, crashed down to Midgar church. I thought I was dead, but then I realized that I was still alive, with someone was in front of me…"
My grandfather takes a deep breath, he gazes to outside window, then his voice sounds more romantic but still in sad tone, "That someone was a…simple flower girl I accidentally met on my mission before….She was…like an angel…Or was it really her ? But sonny…that girl was not usual one, she was a Cetra, an extinct race who could speak to Planet and borrowed its power…and to my surprise, Shinra also had interest on her…they made her as living experiment. She didn't like that. She even made offer to me to be her bodyguard with a date with her as payment". My grandfather pauses for a moment. From the other side, I can see he is smiling now. I guess he recalls his past memory. After that, he continues,
"Later, she decided to join our group. It was a blessing for us. With her joining the group, we, at last, had someone who could cheered us. That flower girl….she really cared for the others…she never thought about herself at first place. She was our beacon of hope whenever we felt down. At first, I was nervous to be around her, since…um…I was not used to get along with girls except your grandmother before…". My grandfather blushes a bit. My grin grows broader noticing him, but his eyes are still gazing to silent night sky outside.
"And the biggest thing was, I could learn about how to love each other from her…she taught me a lot…and she succeed. I was well-known for being cold and selfish, but since that flower girl came into the group, sure she colored our days and she often cheered me up. I learned to be a more nice person. Thanks God we had her, since it turned out that we had to face another foe, named Sephiroth. He was a first-class SOLDIER too, but he was more…sadistic one, and he had an ambition to rule the world since he had power from Jenova, a kind of alien race". The old man sighes. From his expression, I could imagine how hard his days at that time.
"So there we were, sonny…hand in hand we fought Shinra and Sephiroth. Sure that was not an easy task, but somehow we had to. Along with our journey and dangerous missions, we met other persons who finally joined the rest of the group. The group were consisted of I, that is your grandfather, your grandmother, that flower girl, a pilot, a young female ninja, an intelligent beast, a big black man, a man of the past, and a cat creature which rode big moogle robot. Since we lived our days together, we got closer to each other. We felt like had a family. I even got closer to your grandmother. I loved to see her ruby eyes and black long hair. She was a strong and independent girl, yet she was a caring person. Also, she fitted to take a place of perfect beauty in the world. Undoubtedly, I loved her, but at the same time, I realized, that someone cared about me so much like your grandmother did."
I never have a thought that my grandfather had a charm when he was young. How could someone like him being loved by another woman ? One was my grandmother, and the latter…who was she ? How about them two ? Things go interesting to me. I give my grandfather an urging look to let him continue the story. He glances at me for a moment and faces to the window again.
"That someone was… the flower girl. Sure she cared and was nice to everyone, but she seemed so more cared to me than the others. I…I loved the way she giggled, the way she gazed to the sky, the way she walked, the way she talked…I…I loved her very being. Her emerald green eyes…were so beautiful. That was an intense love-triangle…*sigh*…She knew that your grandmother loved me, and actually, your grandmother also knew that the flower girl loved me too, but they still kept close as friends. I didn't know how they did that. I knew I had to make a choice, but whoever I chose, I would surely hurt the other. I didn't want that to be happened. I was confused to make choice. Finally, I made a decision that I would not choice anyone until our mission accomplished."
I take a look to Grandfather with disbelief. I never know that his past was so full of danger, and romantic, too. I even have a thought that my grandfather only tells a fake-spicy-story, but from the way he talks and describes every events happened, I doubt my thought at second chance. If it was a fake story, he would surely lost some words and facts, but in reality, he tells his story so naturally. There is no flaw on every sentence he made. I even fall into his story, as if I was there, inside his story, witnessing everything happened there. He tells a lot about Materia, summoning, Lifestream, and everything related to his struggle in the past with his group that I don't know. I conclude he is telling the true story of himself. With that, I relieve myself, and just enjoy his story.
"Sonny, so we did our fight along the way. Soon it turned out what we faced at that time was something…something really terrible if it would have been happened. Sephiroth, as I mentioned before, planned a crazy plan, he wanted to summon Meteor with Black Materia to wound Planet, and with that, Planet would summon Lifestream to heal itself, and he planned to devour Lifestream's energy. We, of course, could not let that happened, since it meant world destruction. On the way to gain Black Materia, we went to Gold Saucer. You know what ? Hehehehe…there, that flower girl paid her debt to me for being her bodyguard. We had date there, sonny !".
My grandfather chuckles. I shake my head and thinks about my grandmother, poor her. My grandfather continues, "Our date was nearly perfect, but fool me, I didn't know what to say to her at that time…I did love her, but I could not betray my feeling to your grandmother. I even wondered how that flower girl's feeling to me…but after that date, I knew that she had hope for me…and she even showed that she had special feeling for me…and actually, I had love for her, too. I found her as my true love, but I had no courage to tell her until one day….". His voice trails off. He takes a breath, his expression changes to a sorrowful one.
"What happened then, Grandpa ? Tell me, tell me...", I insist my grandfather to continue his story. His story is really interesting. He was in love-triangle at the past. If he loved that flower girl, how could he be with grandmother ? How about that flower girl ? These questions bother me and urge me to find the answer from him, directly.
Finally, my grandfather answers with low voice, "I…that flower girl…she used to be a caring, gentle and cheerful person, until one day…she began to act strangely…She hided something that she didn't want everyone to know, and it bothered her, she forced herself. At one night, she came into my dream and told me that she was going to save the world with her own way, and she promised me to come back when everything was over. I didn't understand what she meant at that time, but when I woke up and didn't find her, I became mad. I and the others chased her to place she had gone. Fortunately, she gave a clue when she was in my dream. That place was Ancient Temple, it was a great temple of Cetra race, her race…There, she prayed for Holy, that was a powerful force came from White Materia to destroy Meteor. I, on knowing that, became relieved to know that she was alright, but suddenly, I felt something intruded my mind and controlled my body…". His voice is trembling when he says those words. "That was Sephiroth, sonny…he controlled my mind and my body, and he used me as his puppet to kill the flower girl…"
"You KILLED her ???!!", I shout to my grandfather, surprised. He replies quickly with his hand makes a 'no' gesture,
"NO ! Unfortunately, at last moment, she took a look at me, and that was her look that released me…I was no longer under Sephiroth's control. Instead, I gave her a look, and I was really impressed on her. She…gosh…she was so beautiful…and deserved to be loved….but after that…". My grandfather's voice tells me that he was in horror at that time. It must be something terrible that he doesn't want to remember until now, but somehow, I have been very curious with story and waits for him to continue.
"There…", he tries to continue his sentence with trembling voice, " came Sephiroth from above, he…he cruelly thrusted his masamune sword right through her body…and I.. was just standing there, watched it happened without doing nothing…I..I just couldn't believe my eyes ! When I gained my composure, it was too late….". My grandfather hungs his head down, and then turns his face away from me. I see his body is shaking as he fights his sudden outburst. I look at him, concerned.
"Grandpa, if it hurts you, don't go on telling your story, it's alright…". Finally I manage to speak to him. He just keeps quiet, but he is choking harshly. He sobs. He is crying. That part of his story must hurt him. Slowly, he turns his face again, not at me, but to the window, and continue his words with more shaking voice,
"No..it's alright, I do want to tell you the story….*sob*…That flower girl…just fell down on the floor, her life was leaving her slowly. I ran to her and embraced her. For the first time, I let my tear dropped for someone…but that someone was really worth to me…that someone was definitely my true love…I looked down at her and held her hand while embracing her body…God, even in her last time, she still cared about me…she…gazed at me, I knew for sure that she told me that she loved me through her eyes…I could only cry and cry…and I reached the peak of my sadness when she completely closed her eyes and became breathless…I cried madly…She..had left us…forever…She was the one I loved…and she had left..me...". Grandfather speaks his words in very low voice. He manages to speak normally, but I notice there is deep sadness in every words. Even he is not sobbing anymore, I can still see his tears are again rolling down through his cheeks. I just keep quiet and squeeze his hand gently. I also feel something in my eyes, it's my tear, slowly it falls down freely.
"Sonny…", he calls me, still gazing at window. His voice is back to normal again, but I know inside his heart, he is still hurt. "I will tell you the story until finish. I promise you. Okay, after that, we still fought our way. Surely, everybody at the group felt missing of her. Rage, anger, hatred to Sephiroth were carved deeply into our heart, especially myself. We fought and fought, we didn't want to let the flower girl's sacrifice went into nothing. On our final battle with Sephiroth, we killed him, but it didn't mean everything was over. Even he was dead, Meteor had already fallen to The Planet. Fortunately, Holy, the force she called on her pray, came on time. Holy and Meteor fought, but it seemed Meteor would win and hit Midgar directly. At that critical time, we saw Lifestream, came from every corner, helped Holy to destroy Meteor, and they did ! We were very happy to know that. Sephiroth was killed, and Meteor was destroyed. At that moment, we forgot our battle scars and bruises as we gained victory. As I looked down, we…saw…her image on Lifestream, smiled upon us…WE really did our task…". My grandfather now turns his face to me and forces himself to smile. To me, it is a smile to hide the pain.
"And what about your life after that ? How could you be with Grandma ?", I ask him a question that still left in my mind. He turns his face back to window, and replies,
"After that, well, I lived my life with void…I didn't know what to do since I lost the flower girl…But your grandmother was very patient. She tried to cheer me up, and even she often failed, she was always be by my side…After all, she was my childhood friend, and it helped me to recover myself. I knew she missed the flower girl, too, and she knew how I felt to that flower girl, but she didn't get mad or anything. Carefully, she managed to heal my heart. She was fierce in battle, but she was very gentle in taking care of me. Slowly, I found out that I really loved her…and married her. She was a perfect woman, and I have tried my best to please her, to comfort her, to love her….I hope she could feel it, even she was not here anymore…". He lets out a sigh and keeps quiet after that.
"Well, that's the story of mine, sonny…", he exclaims. His tears are dry now, but I still see his sadness is depicted clearly on his tired face. I feel I have made my grandfather exhausted. Actually I am very surprised that my grandfather took a role on man's history when he told about Meteor. So it was him and his group who saved the world, but ironically, I, his grandson, don't know that if it's not because of his story. I cannot describe my surprised feeling, but it doesn't bother me. I am mature enough to know surprising things, as well as concerning things. Thing that bothers me at most is my grandfather's condition. He is physically old but not very weak actually, but inside his heart, as far as I notice from his way telling the story, he is still keeping wound from the past. Now, his wound is even deeper since my grandmother passed away. Practically, there is no one that accompanies him in heart on his present days. He is alone.
"Thank you, Grandpa, for your story…I guess I'm leaving now..you must be tired", I say to him as I stand up from my couch. I pat his hand to show my respect and concern to him.
"Sonny..", he calls me before I leave the room, " Tomorrow you may explore my desks and my cupboards, and my other belongings, and I hope you find….the truth…". He smiles at me mysteriously. I only nod and leave him with mixed feeling. Somehow I feel I need to take time to understand his story and what he just told to me.