Disclaimer: Naruto and its affiliated characters, trademarks and products are not in any way claimed by the author of this fanfiction. Although she wouldn't mind owning Kiba for a little while.
Summary: (Kiba-centric character piece) In comparison to so many others in the village, Kiba was an ordinary guy. And that's fine with him since all he needs is Akamaru and his simplicity.
Story Notes: This was written over a year ago and as I went through my stories, I found this piece and found that it was still very much true- for me anyway. I'm behind the manga by almost three months, but I don't think that would affect anything. This is a vague piece that can be seen as taking place after the first time Kiba goes on the mission to retrieve Sasuke or the second one, with more slant to the second. I hope you enjoy this little introspective piece as Kiba really is my favorite character, even though I never really express that.
Being Kiba -- QianYun
Kiba is a very simple guy. He lives, he sleeps, he eats. He goes on the missions assigned to him and he spends time with his friends and family. He doesn't have evil orgainizations after him. He doesn't have a burning need to inflict vengeance upon someone or something. His best friend didn't betray the entire village and to his knowledge, he doesn't possess any awesome powers.
All he has is Akamaru and his simplicity.
So when everyone hustles and bustles around him, preventing that evil group from killing this certain person, or going off to bring back that person in order to hopefully bring down this evil guy, he stands back and waits. He's not usually a patient person, and rarely waits quietly. On the contrary, he does as many things as he can in the time he guesses he has left.
That means dropping in on his sister and mother when he can. Searching out his teammates, just in case. Going to that particular spot in the forest where he pours out his troubles through growls and claws. Making sure that no matter where he goes, no matter how long he's out, Akamaru is with him and knows his love.
It means, ultimately, getting ready to go off and fight and die without anyone ever knowing what impact he may or may not have had on people.
Kiba understands that in the grand scheme of things, he's not that important; at least not yet. He understands that the geniuses and natural talents of the world will always lord over him in the beginning. He understands that in order to make his mark on history the same way that Akamaru makes his mark on his territory - subtly, but still known to everyone who should know - he needs to do things at his own pace. It means, in other words, that no matter how much he wants to, he can't run off and fight that evil group until he's told to. It also means, that no matter how much he wants to, he can't stand and fight where he needs to- by his friends, by his family, by his home.
He can only show that he knows control; he knows the difference between courage and stupidity the way some others don't seem to identify with. But it doesn't stop him from sometimes feeling frustrated; doesn't stop him from sometimes wishing that he could do something that could help, anything to help.
Sometimes the chances do come and he'll try his hardest to help and not drag everyone down. Usually he succeeds, but there are moments when he is utterly useless and those are the moments that hurt the most. Even more than watching his friends and comrades fighting, even more than feeling the pain of a stab wound, being unable to help, being unable to make a difference really hurt. But he dealt with those times the same way many others had to: he carved a space in his heart and mind to store those moments and during those quiet periods of training he remembers. He remembers that pain he feels in all his uselessness and promises to himself, to Akamaru, to all his teammates, friends and comrades that he would do better. There are no more chances left in his life to back down and run away.
It doesn't mean he never felt the need, the want to run away. So many times as he watched his friends fight, train and work themselves to the brink of death for something he didn't quite understand, he felt the desire to run away from the intenstity that poured out of their very being.
And he wondered to himself if would he ever gain that intensity; if there is ever a possibility that one day someone will watch him and quiety wonder where his determination came from.
It seems unlikely.
And until it became a possibility, he did what he could. Avoided confrontation with this evil organization, followed that friend to rescue someone who didn't want it, lingered behind this friend in quiet support and hovered behind that other friend in anxiety. These were the only things he could do, and he was determined to do them well.
So when he was commanded by the greatest fighter, the greatest leader he knew in his short lifetime to go on that particular mission, it wasn't about accepting or refusing the mission.
It wasn't about wondering why on earth he was actually given a choice to back out.
It wasn't about wondering if this meant the mission was more dangerous for someone of his status.
It wasn't about wondering if he could make it back alive and tell his friends, he made it back, he succeeded, isn't that great?
It was about not feeling useless again.
It was about knowing he was helping in a way that few people will know about, but everyone will feel.
It was about keeping his family safe.
It was about following his nindo.
It was about being him.
Owari
Ending Notes: I don't really like the last line. It sounds odd. But I'll leave it this way as it does say what I want. Comments? Critiques? Feel free to throw them my way. I hope you enjoyed. -bows-
Written: 6/29/07 Edited: 7/06/08
