a/n: This is Stella's Self para from the tumblr rp group, morethanaband-rp (formally known as livinonahighwirerp) and yes this was written april and permission was given to use.
Stella woke up thinking she had this whole day planned. Go to school, help Mo move in, drop off the letter, and just live life until college. But that's not how it happened. Getting detention, Mo not showing up on time and now she standing in the yard of her so called boyfriend's house trying to make the one last final step to her happiness. She nervously looked around back at her car, debating to go back and just wait but she knew she'd still be unhappy. She jumped a little when she heard a dog bark into the distance. She mumbled some profanity as she shook off that scared feeling and slowly made her way up the steps to the Delgado household, remembering word for word what she wrote in the letter that she held in her hands, her breathing becoming more and more hitched as she got closer to his door….
Dear Charlie, 04-23-2012
Today marks one month since our fight, our last kiss, our last hug, the last time i've seen you. So much has happened but the most that has happened is me missing you. Why did you leave? Did you not love me enough to take me with you? Was it something i said? Were just some of the things that you had me wondering the last month.
I want to first and foremost apologize for our fight. It was stupid, and you are right. I was jealous. But i think i'll always be jealous if you are around someone else who is prettier than me, or smarter than me. But can you blame me?
I love you charlie. You know that. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, but i did something i'm not proud of. I did something that will hurt you once you read this. And if the tear stains on this paper as bravely tell you this secret isn't enough to show you i'm sorry and that i really do love you then i don't know what. But i had sex with Drew. I was mad, and upset with you and he was there. Though, he hurt me in the process, i do regret it. I'm so sorry, Charlie. And i know it probably doesn't help, but i've felt like shit ever since….
Weeks go by and you still never showed., i shut myself off in my room because being in the treehouse was our thing. i refused to touch my guitar because you were the last one to play it. And i cooked constantly because you always said i would. But one thing i did miss, was me being me.
5 weeks without you made me do and be someone i didn't like. Someone i never wanted to be. Which breaks my heart to bring up my point of this letter. I learned that until you return, i won't truly be happy. So that means for now, i must let you go. I don't know where you'll stand with me once you find out that i cheated. But know that I'll be waiting for you. In our house. At the Lake. In New York while i'm at school, i will always be waiting for you. This isn't good-bye. This is see you later.
I love you Charlie Delgado. Through the bad and the good. I will always love you. But i need to find me again. The Stella you once fell in love with. She's around here, and i'll find her. I miss you so much.
Love,
Stella.
Stella lifted up the small lid to the mailbox near the door, holding her breath to keep breaking down. She lifted the nicely sealed and scented envelope whispering "I love you Charlie." She kissed the letter, just as a single tear fell hitting the off white paper, slowly slipping it inside the mailbox. She closed it shut, walked backwards taking one more look at the Delgado house before reaching to her car. "See you later Charlie." She said with the smallest smile before proceeding to sit in her car and making her way home, to begin her search for her again. The stella she shouldn't have ever let go. The Stella Yamada.