Chapter One:

"Toby get up! Get up hurry! We need to go now!" Jack said poking her in the side for the fifth time. He sounded worried and when her groggy eyes saw the clock it was only 4 AM. She had heard him fumble around their room for pants and a shirt. He fell over on the floor trying to balance on one foot while putting on jeans. Toby sat up and rubbed her face. It had to be something big for Jack to wake her up this early because he knew she'd be a total bitch if he did. She got up and slipped on a pair of dark jeans, a black tank top and one of Jack's large black hoodies. She slipped on socks and padded out of their room after her brother. She tied her hair back in a messy bun while entering their make shift living room.

"What's going on Jack?" She asked stuffing her hands in her pockets.

"Pack some stuff we gotta go home for a while." He replied hustling past her to his room with a duffle bag.

"Jack! What the hell is going on?!" She asked angrily. She had a right to know. Jack popped his head out of his door way.

"Just do what I say and I'll tell you on the way." He replied. This had to be serious. Jack never told her what to do like that. He didn't care as long as she talked to him about it first.

"Fine." She muttered and returned to her room. She packed up a couple outfits in a duffle bag. She shoved her money stash in her back pocket along with her iPod and cell phone. She then returned to the living room to find Jack standing at the door with his duffle and guitar case ready to leave. He opened the door and she walked out. He followed and locked the door behind them. His pace increased the closer they got to the bus station. "JACK! You said you'd tell me what was going on!" Toby yelled a few steps behind him. He didn't hear her or he just ignored her as they entered the depot. He walked straight up to the counter and bought two tickets to down town Detroit. They had to run to catch the bus.

Once safely on and sitting down Toby gave Jack a 'tell me now you asshole' look and his face fell. The fast pace had helped him keep his mind off the reason they were doing this. He began to get upset.

"It's Ma, Toby. She was killed." Jack said looking over at her. Her world stopped. Had she heard him right? Their mother, Evelyn Mercer, was dead? No way.

"Jack that's not funny. What's really wrong?" She asked looking back at him. She looked him in the eye as he nodded that it was true and his eyes welled up with tears. "No Jack no." She said trying to breathe. He leaned her over on to his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. He laid his head on the top of hers and silent tears flooded from both sets of eyes. The only sound uttered from either was Toby's shallow breathing. And so it began, the journey of mourning Evelyn Mercer.

2 days later

The last few days had been a blur but she had been good in the crisis. She had helped arrange the funeral and the get together afterwards. She was really just ignoring everything. She and Jack had been staying with Jeremiah for now. They couldn't be in her house yet., not 'til it was final. Toby woke up at 6 and stared at the ceiling listening to her brother's steady heartbeat and breathing. Today was the actual funeral. How did this actually come? Sure she had made the preparations but she hadn't thought they'd go through with it. Ma was gonna wake up and yell gotcha and everything would go back to normal, but she hadn't. She was really gone. Toby rolled over onto her side in her brother's arms and decided to try to fall back to sleep. She tried for an hour then just decided to get up and go for a run. She got up but as soon as she was on her feet Jack stirred. She froze. He just mumbled something incoherent and flipped over hugging an extra pillow.

She slipped on her shoes and headed out the front door. She ran around her old neighborhood for an hour and a half. She had missed it here and she regretted not staying with her mother. She entered Jerry's house through the back door and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge before heading on her path upstairs for a shower. Once she hit the living room she found a frantic Jack trying to explain to Jerry that he had no idea where she had gone. She stood in the doorway and waved, getting Jack's attention.

"Where the hell have you been?!" He said jumping up and hugging her.

"I went for a run Jackie." She said hugging him back. Jack had always been the most sensitive of the Mercers and he was always the most concerned. "Jack I'm fine, ok. I'm not going anywhere, well, other than the shower." She smiled. He let go and nodded in acknowledgement. "Morning Jerry." She said walking up stairs "Morning Toby." Jerry replied as she disappeared up the staircase. After her shower she pulled on her dark jeans, black dress shirt, and black sneakers. She went downstairs to make sure all was going to plan.

They left for the funeral in Jeremiah's car and time didn't seem to pass, everything slowed down. She was in a trance just sitting there in the back seat next to Jack and staring out the window. They parked and began to walk towards the grave site when they heard it, Bobby's loud car, rumble up the street. Jack's face lifted a little knowing that Bobby was back, Toby just trudged on angrily, and Jerry rolled his eyes but smiling all the same. Bobby walked up and hugged his two brothers who had stood and waited for him. Bobby looked in her direction and back at his brothers. They both shrugged and the trio began to walk toward the grave site once more. Toby stood at the edge looking at the casket not yet lowered and the hole in the ground that was waiting for it. They sat in the front row of the arranged chairs. Jack on her left and Camille on her right. It was cold but she felt nothing. She listened as Jerry gave his eulogy and he was right she'd want them laughing, but she just couldn't do it. Then Jack got up and started talking about their past. How he'd steal their toothbrushes when they were younger and How they used to stock pile food in their room under their beds. A tear slid down her face at the memory of the conversation that day. Jack started crying and Bobby came to the rescue getting him to go back and sit down. Toby grabbed his hand when he sat back down. Now it was time for the lowering, they stood up. Jerry and his family walked up on her right, Bobby staying on the opposite side of them and Jack walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He leaned his face forward on her head so all you could see was his eyes looking over her head and cried into her hair. All five Mercer siblings watched as their mother's casket was lowered into the ground, they silently suffered saying goodbye. Jack's grip became tighter the lower the casket got. Toby didn't mind, she was used to this type of thing from Jack. He was always hugging her and checking up on her. She glanced down in Bobby's direction. He was broken up and she could tell. He was trying to be strong for his siblings, mostly her and Jack, but she saw past it.

Once the ceremony was concluded the crowd started moving back towards their cars. Jack and Toby lead the way together, Jack refusing to let her go slung an arm around her shoulders. They were followed by Jerry and his family and Bobby stayed at the rear. Toby walked past Jerry's car and out of Jack's grip.

"T what are you doin?" Jack asked with a sniffle.

"I wanna walk Jack." she said stopping and looking at him.

"Please get in the car. Please for me." He pleaded. She complied just to make him feel a little better. The ride back was quick and all she thought about was staying away from Bobby. Once they arrived Toby made a b line for the house while Jack lingered outside.

Lt. Green sat in a black crown vic across the street with his partner explaining about the family.

"That's Bobby Mercer he's the heavy weight champion fuck up of the family and that's a well defended title. He used to play hockey, he was kicked out of 60 odd games before they got tired of him and kicked him out. He was known as the Michigan mauler." He said watching Bobby walk up the sidewalk towards Jeremiah's house.

"Who's the kid?" Fowler asked seeing Jack walk across the street to another drive way.

"That's Jack. He's the youngest. First class fuck up. Third class rock star."

"Doesn't look like trouble." Fowler said being fooled by Jack's boyish appearance.

"Don't let the it fool you. He's a Mercer."

"Who's that? Another model citizen I bet." Fowler asked gesturing to Jeremiah.

"Actually Jeremiah isn't that bad. He was a rising star in the union for a while. Man found a cause." Green said with a smile.

"What about the girl?" Fowler asked curious how bad she could be.

"That's Tobya."

"Tobya? Who names their kid Tobya?" Fowler asked confused.

"She tells it that her parents thought they were funny. She goes by Toby or TJ. She's Bobby's biological sister. That's why she's a Mercer. Don't get me wrong she's no angel by far but she could've had a different home if Evelyn had tried. Bobby fought to get her in that house. She may look sweet and calm but don't piss her off." Green chuckled. She had always been his favorite.

"Theres one MIA. You said four brothers."

"Angel, pretty boy. Ex-hustler, solider. He must be a no show today."

Toby sat in Jerry's living room in an over stuffed leather chair. She curled up and just waited for this to be done. They were going home after this, back to where they had grown up. She was a little shocked that Bobby hadn't come up to her yet. Had he gotten smarter? She just sat there staring out the window. Jerry came to check on her and went back to his guests. Jack came over a little while later.

"You want something to eat?" He asked crouching down next to her. She shook her head no, still staring out the window. "You gotta eat T."

"I'm not hungry Jack." She replied still not looking at him. He was concerned about her but he wasn't gonna push it now. He kissed the top of her head.

"I love you." He said walking away.

"Love you too." She replied not moving. She sat there for three hours and did nothing. She didn't want to, she was so tired. She just wanted to go home. Jack came back over and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey, Toby we're leaving." He said nudging her again.

"Okay." She said getting up and following him out the front door. She got into the passenger seat of Jerry's Volvo. She expected Jack to get in the back but he walked right past her. He was followed by Bobby who watched her as he walked by, she glanced up but looked down again. Bobby just rolled his eyes. Jerry got in the driver's seat and started up the car. He backed out and started down the street.

"You shouldn't be this way with him Toby. Ma just died and we need each other right now." Jerry said looking over at her.

"I needed him seven years ago, Jerry." She said looking out the window. She didn't want the lecture. She knew what was right, but she was pissed and hurt so this meant be pigheaded in the book of Toby Mercer.

"I know T, I know. Just please make up soon." Jerry pleaded.

"Jerry you know that it's goin down, whether I like it or not when we get home." She said and Jerry nodded in agreement. She was right. Bobby would want an explanation for her actions. It was gonna be a blow up. They pulled up and Jerry could feel the tension pouring off her. They slowly got out and started up the stairs of their mother's house. Toby didn't listen to the boys mumbling behind her she just took Jerry's keys and opened up the doors. She passed right by Angel not noticing he was there. The boys all hugged but she was already half way up the stairs. She entered the room her and Jack shared as kids and it was like stepping back into the past. She just stood in the middle of the room, frozen. She heard the foot steps but didn't move, she couldn't. Jack appeared a few seconds later. He set down his stuff, sloughed off his jacket and kicked off his shoes. He hadn't really noticed that she was motionless until he sat on the bed with his guitar and saw she was in the same spot.

"T, Toby." He said trying to break her trance. She looked in his direction. Hopelessness lingered on her face and pain had settled in her eyes. "Come sit by me." He patted the bed next to his out stretched legs. She dropped her duffle and kicked off her shoes. She crawled over his legs and laid her head on his thigh curling up on her side, facing the door. Jack began to play and hum which calmed and soothed her.

Bobby walked in and sat on the floor next to Jack's bed leaning his back on it. Jack put down the guitar and Toby surprisingly didn't move.

"You been crying in here you little fairy?" Bobby said with a sniffle.

"Leave it alone man." Jack's low voice replied.

"You still makin' a lotta racket on that freakin' thing?" Bobby asked talking about Jack's Guitar.

"Yep, still makin' a lotta racket." Jack replied rolling his own cigarette. "Too weird in mom's room?"

"Yea, way too weird. It's crazy. She didn't change nothing in this house." Bobby said looking around the room. Jeremiah appeared in the door way and Jack lit his cigarette.

"Look at y'all." He said with a smile, shaking his head.

"What?" Bobby asked confused.

"Nothin' just happy to see you, just happy to see my family, that's all. I'ma stop by the grocery store pick up a turkey and have thanksgiving dinner. Pretend like we're a family. Mom would like that." Jerry turned to see Angel step in the hall. "Where you think you're goin?"

"It's a little heavy in here so I'm gonna go get a little air." Both Jerry and Bobby started cracking up laughing. Toby thought the same thing but didn't join in the laughter.

"You're fulla shit man. You can smell that ass all the way down the street huh?" Bobby said still smiling.

"I don't know what you're talkin about." Angel said trying to play dumb.

"Bull shit. You know exactly what we're talkin about with La vida loca." Bobby replied throwing his head back.

"She's got a boyfriend you know." Jerry kicked in.

"I don't know what y'all are talking about, la vida loca."

"Tell her hello from all of us and I want my money back." Jack laughed with the other two boys this time. This made Angel angry.

"I'm telling y'all both right now I'm not goin to see that girl and I'm not." Angel said storming downstairs and out the door. Toby rolled her eyes and decided to go downstairs. She sat up, scooted past Bobby's head and hopped off the bed. She walked past Jeremiah and down stairs. Bobby watched her leave and he looked between his brothers then stood up. He left the room after her. Jack looked at Jerry.

"Here we go." He said and Jerry nodded in agreement.

Bobby found Toby on the couch with her iPod in her ears. She ignored his presence.

"Hey Toby." He said trying to get her attention. She did nothing. He motioned for her to take out her ear buds. She just stared at him. Bobby reached down and yanked one out of her ear.

"What?" She asked angrily.

"Why the hell are you acting like this?" He asked in a pissed off tone.

"Like what Bobby?" She asked standing up.

"Stompin' ya little chicken ass around here, ignoring me, glaring at me, and avoiding me." He asked still angry. Jack and Jeremiah were in the door way watching the argument and they exchanged looks of concern. The shit was about to hit the fan.

"Oh so you actually noticed huh? Why would it fuckin' matter to you anyway?" She asked trying to brush past him, but Bobby grabbed her arm and she jerked backwards.

"Tobya Jade Mercer, I'm not done talkin' to you yet." He said raising his voice.

Before Jerry could react Jack was right there ripping Bobby's hand off Toby's upper arm and putting himself between them.

"Back the fuck up Bobby." Jack said sternly. This shocked Bobby and Jeremiah for that matter, Jack never stood up to Bobby before. Bobby stepped back and Jack moved out of the way but not too far off behind Toby.

"What Bobby?" Toby asked. Bobby stared at Jack a second before turning his attention back to Toby.

"I wanna know what the fuck is goin' on with you." He said his voice still raised.

"Well I guess you'd know if you'd've fuckin' stayed around wouldn't you Bobby." She yelled walking towards the front door.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He yelled after her.

"You should know Bobby, you did it first." She yelled slamming the door behind her.

"AHH!" Bobby yelled, kicking the coffee table.

"Smooth Bobby. You just pissed her off and now she's walking around downtown Detroit in the middle of the night." Jack said running his fingers through his hair obviously worried.

"Go after her then." Bobby said angrily.

"I can't we gotta wait 'til she gets home now." Jack said looking out the window. "You know she's just pissed cause you left her and she hasn't heard a word from you since. She thinks you don't give a damn Bobby. You need to talk to her about that. Talk, Bobby, not yell or scream or fight." Jack said and then he turned and walked back upstairs to his room and his guitar.

Bobby sighed and ran his hand over his slicked back hair smoothing it out again. He calmed down and walked out on the front porch. He sat there and waited for her to return home. He watched the people walk down the street towards their destinations, some looked scared, some looked suspicious, some looked hurried but none of them were his sister. He was worried after sitting there for a half an hour. This was his baby sister whom he had missed terribly. He hadn't contacted her for fear of her coming to find him and getting mixed up with his ever crazy and mostly dangerous life. He had done it to protect her but he knew she'd never see it that way.

"Damn where could that girl be?!" He said to himself standing up and starting to pace. He glanced out the window and saw her working her way up the sidewalk towards the door. He practically threw it off the hinges on his way out to see her. "Jesus Christ Toby, Where have you been?" He said in a concerned tone hugging her. He didn't give a damn about the repercussions of his actions he was worried. "You had me worried sick." She patted his back. It wasn't one of her usual death grip, love showing hugs. She always hugged tightly, like it was the last time she'd ever see you. "Let's sit and talk about this huh?" He said gesturing to the concrete steps behind him. She shrugged and then nodded following him to the stairs. They sat down and she looked out over the street. "So you're pissed at me for leaving all those years ago." He said looking at her waiting for her attitude to flare up again.

"No shit Bobby. Where'd you ever get that idea?" She said sarcastically looking at him with attitude dripping from her expression. "Don't I have a right to be?" She said obviously angry.

"Yea I guess you do. I'm the second Kelly man to leave you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Toby. I didn't want you to get hurt and I wanted you to turn out better than me. If you had come with me you would've gotten mixed up in some hairy shit and I couldn't handle that." He said trying to stress how bad his life in Chicago had been or trying to make it seem that way.

"You still coulda called me you know." She said narrowing her eyes at him.

"If I woulda called you then you would have left Jack and tried to find me. I know you Toby." He said raising an eyebrow. She smiled and nodded in agreement. "See so I couldn't cause you know if you left, Jack woulda gone crazy and the little fairy just can't take that shit." They laughed for a second.

"You really need to stop doin' that to him. He's not gay, Bobby." She said seriously. "It hurts him you know. He thinks you think he's not a man."

"Yea, yea I know. He's a man." Bobby said "Mom used to get on me about teasing him so much. She used to say 'Bobby one time you're going to push him too far and he's gonna walop you one.'" Bobby said getting a tad bit misty at the memory of his mother.

"Yep. He can get pretty bad when you push the right buttons." she said smiling.

"Yea, what was that about earlier?" Bobby asked about Jack grabbing him.

"We've been on tour and since you left he's gone buck wild with protecting me. He reacts to anything that makes him uncomfortable such as grabbing my arm." She replied looking up at him.

"So Jackie did grow a pair." He said with a smile.

"He's always had a pair Bobby." She stood up and turned to go inside then Bobby grabbed her hand. She looked back at him.

"I care about you, ya know. You're important to me and I'd do anything to protect you. You know that right?" He asked concerned look on his face. This was something he needed her to know.

"Yea B, I know. I know." She said squeezing his hand a little and smiling before going upstairs. She entered the room she shared with Jack calmly to find him fidgeting and nervous. "I'm home." She said snapping him out of his trance.

"Thank god. Don't do that shit, T. You know I hate it when you just take off." He said sighing in relief. "And Bobby?"

"We're fine, for now. You shocked the hell outta him by the way, when you got between us. I think he's still a little rattled by it." She said with a smile she high fived him.

"I know it was fuckin awesome!" He said with a smile.

"You really don't need to do that though you know. I can handle it." She said sitting on her bed on the other side of the room. She sat Indian style leaning her back against the wall and facing Jack.

"I know you can but it bothers me when people treat you badly, especially when they put their hands on you. I won't tolerate that, Toby." Jack said looking her in the eye. Jack was usually a benevolent guy, but when it came to Toby he could turn into a killer.

"I know Jackie and I love you for it, but every once in a while let me fight my own battle k?" She asked with a smile, wrapping his Godsmack hoodie around her tighter.

"Fine, Okay. Every ONCE in a while." He agreed smiling back at her.

"Mom would be so proud of you, Jack. Takin' care of me and standing up to Bobby. She's probably smiling down on you right now for all you've done tonight." Toby said honestly. Jack nodded and his smiled faded a little as he thought of their mother. "Ready to go to bed?" She asked trying to get his mind off of Evelyn. He nodded She changed out of her jeans and into a pair of pajama pants that used to belong to Bobby. She walked over and flipped off their light switch. Jack turned on the radio for them to fall asleep to. Toby trudged back toward her bed when Jack's voice came from the darkness.

"Hey Toby would you mind-" He started, sounding pathetic.

"Yea Jack I'm coming." She turned, fumbling, waiting for her eyes to adjust and found Jack's bed. She crawled up next to him and laid down.

"Thanks T." Jack said settling in next to his sister.

"You're welcome Jackie." She replied doing the same. Others looking in might think this was weird, but then again they probably don't know Jack and Toby Mercer all that well. This was their place of security since childhood. There in that room, in their twin bed, safe because they were together.