Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Hate You, Love You
Temari sighed angrily at herself. What an idiot! That Shikamaru—and people said that he was a genius…more like he has the brain of a chicken.
Of course, this was when she was coming back from a rather short shogi game with Shikamaru, in which she lost very shortly and ended up blowing the board to pieces with her fan in a temper of utter frustration. Her thoughts crackled like lightning.
And perhaps what angered her more than the lost shogi game was what Shikamaru had said after she had blasted the shogi board apart with her fan.
"Shikamaru…" Temari hissed. "When I get my hands on you—then you had to go and say some witty comment, didn't you? Some 'I'm a know-it-all! I'm-smarter-than-you!' You had to say, 'Jeez, you and your troublesome temper tantrums!'
"I DO NOT HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS!" Temari yelled. She seized a kid walking past. "HEY! YOU! KID! DO YOU THINK I HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS, HUH, HUH?!"
"EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!! MOMMY! MOMMY!" the kid cried, and tried to squirm away from the freaky blond lady with the huge fan.
"C-Come on, it's dangerous here!" the boy's mom grabbed his hand and ran away.
"HEY! YOU!" Temari shouted angrily. "I WASN'T FINISHED WITH YOU! HE—"
"What in the world are you doing?"
Temari whipped around, only to come face to face with Kiba.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOIN', DOG-KID AND HIS DOG-RUNT!"
"Dog k-kid, and d-dog…RUNT?!"
"YEAH! YOUR DOG'S A RUNT! A RUNT! HOW ELSE WOULD HE BE SO SMALL?! AND, YEAH, DO YOU THINK I HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS? 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"
"Akamaru, we should get away while there's s-still a chance, and call the ANBU," Kiba said, shaking. Akamaru barked in agreement, and the two sped away.
"I AM NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET RUNT—"
"Huh?"
"Eh?" Temari turned again.
Ino stood there, with a bouquet of flowers in her arms to deliver. Her hair was growing out again, and had almost reached its previous length.
"Hello, Temari!" Ino said cheerfully. "Did you get out on the wrong side of the bed today? I sure didn't—I had a really nice dream about Sasuke and I—we were—"
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID DREAMS AND I DID NOT GET OUT ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED! STUPID GIRL! AND SASUKE IS DUMB AS DIRT!"
"W-WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SASUKE?!"
"HE'S DUMB AS DIRT AND SMELLS LIKE HORSE DROPPINGS!"
"DON'T BE DUMB! SASUKE IS WONDERFUL!"
"DON'T BE DUMB," Temari mocked. "SASUKE IS HORRIBLE!"
"WHY YOU—" Ino dropped her important parcel and searched herself for weapons. She didn't find any—she didn't carry them on days off.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Temari grabbed her fan off her back and blew Ino off the face of the planet, along with the parcel of expensive flowers that had been ordered.
Ino's cries of distress eventually faded off into the distance.
"Wow," Tenten commented, where she and Neji were watching Temari at a safe distance. "That's some violence. Where do you think she landed?"
"…I'm betting Sand Village."
"You're on. I bet Mist Village."
"Deal." The two shook hands on it.
Tenten looked at him. "You like watching this, don't you? You're amused."
"…maybe."
"Aren't us all." Tenten laughed quietly.
Temari stalked through the streets of Konoha, sending shadow and terror in her wake. If this kept up, the treaty between Konoha and Suna would end very, very quickly.
Then, something, no, someone—a knight with golden armor, perhaps—stood in her way.
It was Shikamaru in his vest, although perhaps slightly more bedraggled than usual. Kiba watched from the shadows, but once he felt Temari's increasingly eerie presence, he ducked out of sight.
"Shikamaru…" Temari cracked her knuckles. Shikamaru contined to stare through half-closed eyes.
"She's going to kill him now," Neji said.
"I agree with you on that," Tenten said.
"Troublesome woman. I just got interrupted from my cloud-watching by Kiba, and he shook me so hard that I now have a troublesome headache, and I heard that Ino landed in the Lightning Village and that you have been wreaking fear in Konoha everywhere."
"…" Temari stopped a moment.
Shikamaru sighed. "My dad says that you shouldn't leave women boiling or else they boil over and they get really scary.
"So, I just wanted to say—I'm sorry if I—went and offended you, and—"
Temari waited.
"—why in the world did you blow up that shogi board? Now I'll have to go buy a new one. And now I hope that this was worth giving up my cloud watching for—I just saw a really interesting cloud go by."
"And this guy is supposed to be a genius," Tenten said slowly.
"SHIKAMARU! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!" Temari grabbed her fan and started to chase after the poor Nara.
"TROUBLESOME WOMAN STOP THIS RIGHT NOW! I'M MISSING ALL THE CLOUDS!"
"AND PRETTY SOON YOU'LL BE MISSING YOUR LIFE!"
And as Temari chased Shikamaru into the sunset, she wondered this:
Do I hate him, or do I love him?
Now there's a question that can never be answered.