Prelude
This story is my story, which I want to share with you. It may seem unbelievable or unrealistic, but the fact is I lived it.
It's incredible what our mind can do with imagination. By a mere thought you can dream of a world that never existed, a world where you'd prefer to live than reality itself. Truth is I live in my imagination and I hate the real world.
The outside world scares me; my body drags me day by day to my daily activities, such as going to School. Otherwise I feel like a shell, it's as if my body was controlling me and my real self is hidden deep inside. I'm constantly walking in a trance, seeing through my eyes, but my personality is fake. Living in the reality can be so harsh, that sometimes you want to end it, by taking your life. Luckily I'm not that desperate, I have friends and a good family situation. I'm happy when I should be and sad when I should be, there's nothing wrong with me, it's just I feel like it's not me living.
Like all teenagers I'm moody, have conflicts or create them, but I never ever start conflict in School. I'm way too shy, serious and sometimes hyper sensitive, but when I'm home I'm a hell of a character. I'm loud; I argue and laugh like mad. I just wish to have that character instead of the other shy, serious Sarah.
However there is a point that bugs me the most, is the boyfriend stuff, "Oh did you see my boyfriend, he's so handsome!" or "You don't have a boyfriend, why, why?" Oh, can't they not shut up for once! It's my problem if I'm not interested, because I've only met the worst ones. They left a strong impression on me, a rather negative one so I rather stick with my friends and my siblings, then fish a random guy from a bar. Truthfully I'm waiting for the ideal person.
I measure 1m74 tall and slender, with aqua blue eyes and shoulder length wavy blond hair and pale skin. I'm the type of person who prefers to be natural, so I don't bother using make-up.
In my life I felt a lot of pain, sometimes unbearable agony and I nurtured myself on it. Nobody knows who I really am and nobody even wants to know. Although I have loving and caring parents and siblings, they still don't bother wondering about it. Dwelling inside me is a third yet invisible personality, a personality that is so ferocious, evil and cruel that craves for vengeance. It keeps on growing and expanding and I suspect it'll take over me one day. The more I get hurt, the more it grows and honestly speaking I don't mind if it does. People, such as students, teachers and so-called friends who betrayed me and hurt me, should rot in Hell!
From this point I started watching and reading mangas. The life they are living seems easier and more exciting, than reality. Those characters can live in imaginary worlds, where love and friendship is strongly cherished. I started reading and watching Naruto, the life they have may be difficult and bloody, but at least there they can understand each others skills and don't treat it as dirt. Of course I don't mean that the Naruto world is perfect, but if you have skills you are respected, that's what people are lacking now days, respect, compassion and warmth, for those who are struggling. Sigh, if only I lived in the world of Naruto. I could become a shinobi, have great skills in fighting, develop my confidence and be able to protect myself. I seriously want that all those people who inflicted such pain on me, to pay what they did.