I really hope this works, Severus Snape's diary. I hope to add more as further chapters come to mind, enjoy!
Disclaimers: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling... I am merely borrowing it, and hoping I use it well!
The Diary of Severus Snape
2nd of September
4.30pm
Okay, okay, I know, this is officially the stupidest thing I've ever done in a long time. Dumbledore's idea, of course it was, who else would be able to convince me to write a diary. The risk I simply huge. What if a student found it, what if – I'm being stupid. I'd like to see a student try to even touch this little book. They'd be in for a shock. Too bad for them I still know my fair share of brilliant hexes and curses. Just because I, to use the common phrase "crossed over to the good side" doesn't mean I've forgotten dark magic. Albus won't be too happy with me. I guess I could remove one of two, like the one that swells the fingers into tiny floating balloons. Too bad, I liked that one, but Madame Pomfrey won't know the counter curse.
I'm supposed to be confessing my innermost feelings – yeah right! My innermost thoughts and feelings will stay innermost, thank-you-very-much.
I am feeling pretty pleased right now though. I docked at least eighty points from Gryffindor today, and the term's only just begun. The day isn't even up.
Perhaps I can get away with not writing much at all.
3rd of September
4.35pm
Eight five points from Griffindor today
5th of September
4.50pm
Ninety points. And a weeks detention for the Weasley twins… ah, bliss
6th of September
4.35pm
Albus knew. He knew I wasn't writing in here properly. I should have known Minerva's quip about the diaries (for all the staff have been given one) had been Albus' idea. I also should have know she go and tell him when I said,
"As if I'd let a weakness like a dairy become part of my daily life. Unlike you Minerva I have a life that holds out beyond the confines of a tiny book."
To which she smiled wryly and said "Of course you have a life Severus, of course you do. There's no need to be defensive,"
"Really Minerva, such sarcasm I'd have thought you'd be incapable of it, wrinkled old-fashioned tartan-clad spinster that you are" Of course she pretended that comment didn't hurt, but her mouth thinned right out.
"Well, well, you certainly are defensive. I suggest you use the diary before Albus is on your back about it. You know what he says; it's good therapy, even for a dungeon-dwelling hygienically ignorant moron, like yourself"
Curse those stupid Griffindors.
7th of September
4.50pm
Sorry, I got a little off track yesterday. I was saying that Dumbledore has now told me I simply must write in my new diary. He says I have too much stress on my shoulders and I need an outlet. I said "I already have an outlet"
"And what is that?" I swear he looked amused – AMUSED! How dare he?
"Potions!" I said, exasperated, but he didn't believe me "Coffee! Reading! Taking Griffindors points!" But he just stood there with that maddening eye-twinkle of his until I gave in.
"Fine! Fine! I'll write in the stupid diary!" I whirled around and saw Flitwick chuckling. Shooting him my best death glare I left.
And – wait for it, my bad day got even worse!
So I, stupidly, decided to patrol the corridors and tell student off at any excuse I could find– and now I have that Celestina Warbeck ballad, 'Spell on my Heart', stuck in my head. Stupid popular songs. I usually have more discipline then this. Perhaps I'm just feeling a little weak. Who wouldn't with those eyes staring at them? They are really haunting like – like – Drat Severus, Stop with the innermost feelings thing! Perhaps I should go and take a shower.
5.15pm
Drat! Drat! Drat! I swear if I ever feel compelled to sing in the shower again I'm getting straight out and never giving in to the impulse. Darn those house elves!
I will never sing that stupid "spell on my heart" song, ever again.
Why? Why me? Why does everything bad happened to me? What could have possessed the stupid elf to go cleaning my room when I am still in it?
And it herd me singing. I swear it must have. It looked positively terrified when I came out and spotted it. Then, to make matters worse it disapparates before I can order it not to tell anyone. I just know it will spill the beans to someone, like a member of the staff, or even a student – I shudder at the thought.
What happened to Private Chambers? Or doesn't anyone respect personal space anymore. Maybe I'll clean them myself from now on.
9th September
7.30pm
Minerva knows. I can tell by her face. That smug look she gives me is simply terrifying.
She now has the power to shatter my hurt reputation even further.
Why her? Why does it have to be a Griffindor? Why the head of Griffindor - who was also already mad at me.
She'd better not tell anyone.
She'd better not have already told someone.
I have to go to a staff meeting. We'll see now then, won't we.
9.08pm
Nope, safe for now, no one knows. But she sure threatened me with it.
Why else would she say "But Severus, surely you would have no problems letting Wood out of his detention. After all; the quidditch match between Griffindor and Slytherin is that same evening. We wouldn't want anyone thinking you were purposefully trying to sabotage Griffindor's chances – there could be all sorts of nasty slip-ups."? I'm sure I wasn't imagining the delicate stress on the words "nasty slip-ups"
I really wouldn't have though her capable of black mail.
Why would the house elf tell her? Surely it didn't go and find her to blab to.
10th of September
4.13pm
What could possibly have possessed her to tell the Weasley twins? THE WEASLEY TWINS! That was the worst potions lesson I've had to teach without Potter sitting there, tormenting me…
Anyway – the Weasley twins – I have no idea how they knew, but the second I opened the door to let the class inside they broke into a rousing chorus.
You've put a spell on my heart
Trying to lead me through the dark
I'm so lost you may as well be a Kappa
But I can't bear us apart
Oh, you're an excellent trapper
Your love's left its mark
Oh, you put a spell on my heart, baby!
Curse you Minerva. They gave me these looks. Infuriating knowing looks, they were. Then they were inside. Whenever I was about to tell them off they would start humming the song. HA! I got back at them though. Severus Snape does not give in to black mail! They'll tell everyone anyway. I may as well get back at them now that the secret's out.
"Weasley, if you don't stop humming that ludicrous song I am going to have to give you another week's worth of detentions. As it is I think I'll have 20 points from Gryffindor." I told Fred, who had just begun again.
"But sir, I thought it was your favorite. Weren't you singing it in the shower just the other day?" Piped up the other.
All eyes swiveled to face me and I leaned right in close to the offending twin.
"I don't know what sort of rumors you have been listening to, but I suggest you keep a closer eye on your potions work then to the latest gossip." And with that I plucked a nearby ingredient off the table.
"Can you tell me, Weasley, what would happen if I put this into your cauldron?" Ah, the power I held in that single moment. The ingredient, of course, was a sprig of mistletoe. Both twins blinked blankly at me.
"Let's hope, then, that tomorrow, when you return with a twelve inch essay on this particular potion and the effects of mistletoe upon it, we will find out without the need to test out the theory on you. For if we did, I assure you the results wouldn't be pleasant." Let the plant hover dangerously over the caldron before I set it back down. "I expect the essay on my desk by precisely 3 O'clock."
Then I continued on with the lesson, not watching the twins at all. When the lesson ended with interruption I thought I had won. How sadly wrong I was. The class began to file out of the door when suddenly the there was a loud hiss and the Weasley's undrained cauldron melted. Tipping onto the floor with the sizzling liquid was the entire store cupboards supply of mistletoe.
They were gone; gone before I could say a thing. Even worse is that it was Professor Burbage who found me next and she assured me that she would deal with their discipline. They won't be punished enough.
5.00pm
I have just come back from the staffroom, and from a brilliant rant at Minerva McGonagall. I heard her voice before I entered and decided to go for a dramatic entrance.
"How DARE you!" I snarled. "You could have approached me about it - but no, not for the high-and-mighty Griffindor!"
And Minerva says, in this perfect deadpan, "I'm sorry, Severus, I should have told you sooner. I didn't want you to find out this way. We're through."
It took me a second to realize what she meant. Everyone snickered.
"Very funny," I told her stiffly. Minerva smiled.
"Yes I think you'll find that even a wrinkled old-fashioned tartan-clad spinster can be funny sometimes." She acted as if I was a child.
"I don't appreciate you telling students about my personal life. It was an accident." I said, still as calmly as if we were discussing the weather.
"Of course Severus. But, really, is it so embarrassing. You're only human." I tried to block out Professor Sinastra's smirk. Why did they all take such pleasure in my discomfort? "Besides, I only told the staff, the Griffindors and my third year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw class."
"What?" I had hoped this wouldn't reach the ears of anyone else. I had hoped it might stay among the Griffindors! Minerva was saved from my truly scathing remark by Flitwick who chose that moment to burst in, humming the very song to himself.
"Shut up, you old coot!" I snarled, turning on him. He looked astounded.
"Severus, I'm sorry I didn't realize you found it offensive. It's merely stuck in my head -"
But that was all I actually herd. I left before I lost my temper and cursed someone.
I HATE my job.
11th of September
4.26pm
I was still angry this morning. The Weasley twins seem to have decided to lay low for a bit. They handed in their essays, which I will take great pleasure in grading with a large "D for dreadful" and gave me no opportunity to dock points.
I docked them anyway. Angelina Johnson lost twenty points because she commented in a whisper that I hadn't dotted one of the i's on the chalkboard.
Ah, power.
Dumbledore talked to me today. Apparently I should thank Minerva for giving the Weasley twins a talk…
...As if it wasn't her fault in the first place.
4.30pm
Did I mention I hate my job?
24th of September
8.06am
Things seem mainly back to normal, apart from the occasional chorus of that dreaded song when I enter rooms. Harry is up to something. I must find out what. Dumbledore's worried – but about me, not the boy. He said, "Really Severus, I hope this won't become an obsession for you. The boy is not his father. It shouldn't be quest get him into trouble."
There are many things that old man doesn't understand.
9.12pm
There are things missing from my private stores. I blame Harry.
Dumbledore is getting frustrated.
25th of September
5.12pm
I ran into Professor Trelawny today. She said she had grave news for me.
I asked if it involved potions, students, or slowly going mad from stress. She said no. I took the perfect opportunity to smirk at her as I asked silkily.
"Then what ever could this grave news entail?"
She looked encouraged, I usually don't care. It's almost as though sarcasm is a foreign language to her.
"I am sorry to say that a loved one is in close peril." She looks batty with her glasses askew like that.
"Really," I said scathingly. "What rubbish." Then I turned on my heel and strode off without better a comeback, and before I could let it grate at raw nerves. I have no loved ones. Unless you count – no, no, no, no! I. Am. Not. Going. Into. The. Deep. And. Meaningful.
Stupid Trelawny.
26th of September
7.30pm
The Griffindors have a new hobby. When I walk into the great hall for meal times they all fall silent and stare at me. They watch me all the way to my chair and the second I sit down they all go "Da Da Da dum..."
I tried taking points but it has no effect and now Albus has decided it's "all fun and games really." and lets them off.
Curse him. 10 points from Dumbledore.
MwaHAHAHA! That was surprisingly satisfying.
More coming soon... hopefully, it depends on my mood, but I'm leaving it open...please rate!