Fandom: LOST
Title: It Wasn't Supposed to Happen This Way
Timeframe: End of Season 3, during "Greatest Hits"
Characters: Charlie, Desmond
Genre: Angst
Summary: Before Charlie dives to the Hydra station, he reflects on how life should have been.
Disclaimer: LOST may have eaten my soul, but I still don't own it.
Notes: Thanks to the fantabulous qwi_xux for the beta! *HUGS*
It wasn't supposed to happen this way.
The plane crashing – that was supposed to happen. As strange as it sounds to think that, I now know that it really was fate that brought Oceanic 815 down. At first I thought it would be the worst thing imaginable to ever happen to me. And after being chased by a polar bear, nearly eaten by a smoke monster, and hanging by my neck to die, it was. But landing here on this bloody island was also the best thing that ever happened to me.
I became clean. I kicked my addictions and started a new life. I became a new man; a better man.
I met you. I fell in love with you. We found each other.
I cried in happiness as I watched Aaron brought into this world. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, apart from his mother. I know biologically he may not be mine, but he is. I love him like he is.
We had our trials – like the stupid git I am, I lost your trust, and because of my idiocy, you got hurt. It was a long and hard road to win back your approval, but we became closer and stronger because of it. You allowed me back into your life, and for once in my life, I felt whole.
But our story should have gone on from there and continued to be a perfect fairy tale. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
Desmond Hume was never going to tell me that I was going to die. He was never going to have to keep saving my life from lightning or trip wires or stupid bloody birds. We were going to be rescued. Be it a passing ship, or a plane, or a helicopter, hell Martians for all I care, somehow we were going to get off this island. Together.
There was no underground station; there was no button that had to be pushed. There was no drowning and leaving you alone. This freighter could have been the one to simply show up and take us home.
Home.
We would move back to Australia. You would be near your mother and I would be near Liam. I would never leave your side, and we certainly would never fly anywhere ever again. The press would hound us for a while, but I'm used to it and would protect you from most of it. Eventually they would get bored and leave us to live out our lives in peace.
You would ask what would happened next, unsure if I would return to my career and to my life back in London. Your fear of me abandoning you would break my heart and I would tell you exactly what was going to happen next.
I was going to marry you.
It would have been perfect. I would have stood there with Hurley and Liam at my side, anxiously waiting for you to appear and calm my turbulent nerves. Kate would be there, as would everyone else – well, maybe not Sawyer, but everyone who mattered. They would all brave an airplane again just to be with us for this day. My stomach would be doing flips and I would fear for the worst possible scenario. And then you would appear looking like an angel and nothing else would have mattered. I would promise to love you for all time, slip a ring onto your finger, and finally be complete.
That night would be the happiest of my life; lying beside you, my beautiful wife, and becoming whole with you for the first time. Though it would not be our first for either of us, it would be so much better. Our pasts wouldn't matter; all that would matter is the feel of your skin under mine, the soft curls of your hair as my fingers caress your hair, and the sweet taste of your mouth as I whisper how much I love you in the dark.
We would buy a house together. It would be nowhere near the beach, and I'd keep peanut butter in stock on the shelves so we would never run out. It would be small, but perfect. On our first Christmas, you would buy me a piano and I would be unable to do anything but sit and cry tears of happiness, holding you in my arms and loving you for being so wonderful.
We would have raised Aaron. I would teach him how to play the guitar and piano, but he would surpass me and become a prodigy. He'd have your laugh, but my charm. When he got older, we would eventually tell him that I was not his biological father, but I was there when he was born and thought of him as my own. He would be hurt at first, but soon he wouldn't care, as I was his dad.
We'd have other children together – a little boy and a girl. I would love them just as much as I love Aaron. He would have my nose and she would have your beautiful eyes. We would have picnics with Liam and his wife and their daughter Megan. We would be a family.
Without ever boarding a plane we would visit London and I would show you where I grew up. I would take you to my parents' graves and cry bitterly wishing they were still alive to see how much I had changed and how happy I was. Wishing they could have met you and seen the woman who has changed my life for the better.
We would attend our children's school plays. We'd teach them how to ride a bike, teach them to bake, encourage them in everything they dreamed of doing. We'd spend holidays at the beach telling them tales of a plane crash, a monster, and a group of strange individuals who all had an impact on Mum and Dad's lives. We would also teach them how to climb trees, start a fire, fish, and all sorts of things that you never think you'll need to know until you crash on an island. It's always better to be prepared.
We would fight, you and me. Like all normal couples, it would happen, but I would never stay angry at you. We would make up before going to sleep and I would hold you close and whisper apologies in your ear as we drifted off.
We'd watch our children grow up. They would go through school, go to the university, find love, and start families of their own. I would be overprotective of our daughter, but you would just smile sweetly and reel me back in. As strong as I pretended to be, I would cry shamelessly as I walked our daughter down the aisle, releasing her to a man who probably did not deserve her. Yet she would smile at her husband the same way you smile at me, and I would understand.
We would grow old together. Surrounded by hordes of grandchildren, we would keep our youthful spirit and spoil them all rotten behind their parent's backs. When we were alone, I'd play music for you, even though my joints weren't what they used to be. We would take long walks together; hand-in-hand, not even having to speak because we knew what the other was thinking. I would get old and frail, as would you, but I would still think you were the most beautiful thing in the world and that I was the luckiest man to have ever survived a plane crash. Mostly, I knew that I would love you every moment of your life until we grew so old that our hearts stopped beating and together we left this life in peace.
It should have happened that way.
"We're here."
Charlie recapped the sharpie in his hand. His eyes never left the piece of paper in front of him. It was a list; a list of the greatest moments of his life. Yet his eyes remained on his final addition.
#1 The night I met you.
Blinking with resolution, Charlie folded the page over several times until it was just a small square. Desmond turned and sat across from him in their outrigger. Charlie leaned closer and, after a short hesitation, held the piece of paper up for Desmond to see.
"I want you to give this to Claire for me."