Ignorance is Bliss

For frequents to my stories:

Yeah so... It's been a little a while huh? A year and a half almost since the last update. If there's anyone who's keeping up with any of my stories then I commend you for you're patience. You can probably tell that this is a new story, completely separate from A Long 2 Weeks, which is a weird thing considering you'd think I want to update my story after so long. But truth be told it's been so long since I wrote that that when I re-read it to try and continue it I don't even remember what I was planning to do in future chapters. Or even remember writing the chapters myself to be honest. So yea I'm not really sure if I'll ever continue that.

For new readers( the majority of you):

So this is going to be a bit of a different take on Evangelion. While the generic EVA fanfic/the original story depicts Shinji as shy and scared, and Asuka as this strong yet broken character, where as both are stuck on their pasts, I wanted to try something different. While I'm going to try and keep Asuka as true to her character as I can within this context, I've always to take a more realistic/dark take on Shinji's persona. In this story, Shinji's past has forged him into something of a quiet genius. He's been severely broken by everyone who has abandoned and has turned into a bit of an emo. While he doesn't hate his life and want to take his own, he pilots simply because it give him something to do. A purpose. He's ready to die and doesn't have any regrets. A more realistic take on what would happen to a modern high-schooler in his circumstances.

And thus begins our journey through Evangelion. Asuka x Shinji (As always)

Shinji starred up at the gray sky above him. He watched as the clouds slowly drifted above him. He sat on the empty curb of an empty street in an empty town. It was still early, before 6 am on a Sunday morning, and no one dared leave their residence. It was completely empty and Shinji was completely alone. And he liked it that way. Shinji valued his alone time more than everything else in his life. Besides his SDAT maybe, that one was pretty important too. People often mistook Shinji as a loner, as someone who wouldn't make any friends, as someone too shy to strike up a conversation, as someone too shy to be a part of the crowd, as someone so awkward as to make people cringe mid-conversation, but the fact is that none of it is true.

While Shinji disliked crowds and socializing with people, he wouldn't go so far as to call himself awkward or shy. No far from it, Shinji was actually quite charismatic should he want to strike up a conversation. He could make friends at his school should he want to, hell he could even have girlfriends if he really wanted to. But being an interesting and likeable person makes it far too difficult to keep to yourself. If Shinji made an effort to be social even slightly he's bound to at least capture a single person's interests. But by putting on a facade of being shy and awkward, fumbling with his words and slaughtering conversations with a deadly silence, people would stay away from him simply because of how boring he is. Which worked out perfectly for him. Oh no, Shinji wasn't shy, just anit-social to the highest degree.

Shinji's father would move him from school to school constantly, putting Shinji in a perpetual awkward transitioning phase of being "the new kid". And being as people always saw the new kid as some weirdo, he didn't have to force himself to be so awkward as they people were naturally pushed away from him. The closest thing to a friend he had ever made was in middle school when a boy from his Math class saw him sitting outside smoking a cigarette and thought he was the coolest kid to ever exist.

While on the topic of cigarettes, Shinji glanced around to make sure no one was around before grabbing a single cigarette out of his pocket. He held it steady between his lips before cupping his hand around the flame of his lighter. He inhaled deeply and paused for a few seconds before letting out a deep sigh of smoke and chemicals. Very few people even knew Shinji smoked and even fewer cared. Most of them looked disgusted or worried to see someone so young ruining their lungs. When told that smoking was bad for him and would cause cancer, Shinji gave each and every one of them the same reply.

"Who wants to live longer anyways." Shinji found himself muttering to nobody. Shinji wasn't suicidal by any means, simply found his life and existence devoid of meaning.

Shinji's long brown hair was just barely spilling into his cold, calculating eyes. His dark hair and slightly larger than average nose did a good job of shadowing the majority of his face and covering any distinct features that may make him stand out. Shinji did everything in his power to make himself as bland as possible. Unfortunately, he had blue eyes. Though they were such a deep blue that unless you got really close they just looked black(maybe a reflection of his soul). Perfect for him since he was distancing himself from most people anyways.

Shinji never really cared about anything for as long as he could remember. He never really cared about having friends, never really cared about being good at sports, and he never really cared about school or his education. Shinji was smart. Smarter than most, and he was aware of it. He had never met anyone in person even remotely close or similar in age to him that ever impressed him with their intelligence. However Shinji felt no obligation to prove it anyone. If someone thought he was stupid he would make no effort to change their opinion of him.

Shinji never gave any real effort into anything either. His middle school teachers often told him if he didn't get his grades up and start taking his education seriously, reality would come and bite him in the ass. They were under the impression that Shinji thought he could get away with not trying because he assumed everything would be given to him. Little did his teachers know that Shinji had been face to face staring at reality for the past 5 years. Shinji knew that if he didn't try he wouldn't graduate, or at least never get into a good college. He knew that he wouldn't be able to build a career and would most likely end up working a job he despised 50 hours a week to come home to a home he hated just to repeat the process for 50-something years while his life slowly whittled away. But he didn't care. He never cared.

At least that's what he thought. He looked at the envelope in his hand while tapping some ash off of his cigarette into the pavement. Shinji hated his father. Shinji and his father had a similar relationship in comparison to each other. They hated seeing each other and only did when it was absolutely mandatory. The letter from his father informed that he would once again be changing schools and was being relocated to a new home. Nothing new, he got one of these letters once every 5-6 months. However this time it stated that he would be getting picked up and taken to talk to his father. It would be there first meeting in 3 years. Also instead of being placed under a guardian, he would living on his own with a monthly sum of cash given to him for food and other necessities while rent and utilities would be paid for.

Shinji reopened the envelope and took out the picture of the woman who was supposed to be picking him up. 'Misato Katsuragi' was the name written in red marker written across the photograph, along with an arrow pointing down her cleavage. She was young woman, mid twenties if he had to guess with purple hair and what looked like a scar running down her chest. While he doubted the scar would be a defining feature he'd be able to recognize her by should he see her in the street, it was still worth noting that it was definitely no hiking accident that would cause a wound so large.

Shinji put everything back into the envelope before folding it in half and putting it back in his pocket. He took one last puff before dropping the cigarette to the ground and grounding it into the cement with his shoe. As the scent of the toxic smoke lingered, he returned to watching the morning sky as it adopted more of a traditional sky blue color as opposed to the early morning gray hue.

He then felt a deep rumble within the ground beneath him. Shinji bolted up, startled by the unexpected shaking. 'Earthquake?' He thought to himself. 'No that's not it.' He recognized it wasn't an earthquake quickly. Though he couldn't describe it, the trembling felt as though it was traveling through the ground, instead of originating from deep within it. A sense of uneasiness came over him, unusual considering his usual calm composure. He looked over to his left and saw a girl. Just staring at him with a blank expression.

While he didn't feel scared, he felt as though something was off. He slowly grabbed the duffel bag full of his belongings and lifted them off the ground. When he turned back to the girl he found that she had vanished, into thin air it appeared as well, as there seemed to be nothing for her to hide behind in the large clearing she had been standing in. The feeling of uneasiness washed over him once more and was only amplified by the large flock of birds moving overhead.

All of his uneasiness disappeared in an instant and was replaced shock and awe. A large black humanoid figure appeared from behind the complex of apartments and condos, and although it wasn't facing his direction, he had the feeling that it was looking at him. Shinji froze from where he was standing. There was no clear answer as to what he should do in this situation. It was then, at that moment where Shinji for the first time in his life had drawn a complete blank as to what he should do that his problem was solved for him. He saw a car speeding down at him from the same direction that the monstrosity had risen.

As the car stopped beside him and the door flung open he instantly recognized the woman in the driver's seat.

"Did I keep you waiting long?" Misato said to him, surprisingly calm given the situation, with a smile plastered on her face. Shinji said nothing, simply jumped in the car and slammed the door before he was even situated in his seat. He threw his duffel bag between the driver's and passenger's seats and into the back seat.

"Mind telling me what the fuck that thing is?" Shinji asked the woman anxiously as she sped in the opposite direction of the gargantuan beast. Or maybe she was startled to hear someone half her age just cuss at her blatantly. However she breathed a sigh of relief. 'At least I don't have to act like some mature adult around this kid' She thought to herself, relieved he wasn't as uptight as she thought he would be.

"It would be really hard to explain right now, just hold out a little bit Shinji." Misato said, not bothering to look at him.

"Where are we going anyways?" Shinji asked her yet another question.

"NERV." Misato responded coolly.

It was apparent to Shinji that this woman wasn't going to give him any of the sufficient answers he was hoping for. He turned back in his seat to see a team of tanks and an assortment of aircrafts bombard the thing with bullets, missiles, and a number of other tactical weapons. Shinji bit his lip as he watched the beast be unaffected by all the weaponry, as if merely pebbles and dirt were flying at it. 'It doesn't look like they're bringing it down anytime soon.'

Shinji heard the ring of a cellphone and the sounds of vibrations in the cup-holder next to his seat. Misato quickly grabbed the phone and swiftly answered the call with one hand. There was a pause as Misato seemed to be intently listening to whatever the caller had to say.

Shinji jolted forward as the vehicle came to a sudden stop.

"They're gonna do what!" Misato yelled into the phone. There was another pause as she listened. "Fucking hell." Misato muttered as she hung up the call and quickly pulled the car over on the side of the road. Misato looked at Shinji without saying a word.

"What's going on?" Shinji asked as he looked at her.

There was a bit of a pause. Almost as if Misato debated whether she should tell him the truth or not.

"They're gonna nuke the fucker."

Almost as if waiting for her word, there was loud explosion behind Misato and she quickly dove on top of Shinji, protecting his body with her own as a powerful shock wave came and shook the car and everything around them. There were loud gusts of air as the wind beat down on the windows and car. The car slowly skid across the road and suddenly flipped off of the cement.

As they tumbled and flipped inside the car, Misato stayed on top of Shinji. Though not because she was protecting him. In truth she was scared and was clinging to him out of fear, but still glad she could protect him somewhat. Even if she was somewhat displeased with the heavy aroma of cigarettes that seemed to be clinging to him. Reminded her too much of another man.

After a long moment, everything subsided and Misato arose from her position atop Shinji. Shinji sat up and breathed a deep sigh of relief. He popped the door to the car and crawled out onto the ground.

Misato soon followed Shinji's example and also got out of the car. She looked around at the destruction but said no words. They took a moment to let everything sink in, exchanging no words, just brief glances at each other over-top the car. As the smoke settled, Shinji watched in horror as it revealed a still standing humanoid figure that appeared to be melting. Like a candle that had been burning for a short period of time. Misato on the other hand had expected this.

"Give me a hand with this." Misato said as she began trying to push the car back onto its wheels. Though she strained she didn't feel it budging and as she looked and Shinji's physique she wondered if he would be much help. Though her doubts were cleared as the moment Shinji began pushing the car fell immediately back onto its wheels and Misato looked at him briefly in awe.

Misato sighed heavily.

"You smell like you've been smoking young man." She said as she slowly entered the vehicle once more.

"My old roommate was a heavy smoker." Shinji replied to the woman as he climbed over the hood and back into the car with her.

"I see. Hopefully no damage from second-hand-smoke." Misato said. She had a hunch that wasn't truth. Or at least it wasn't the reason for the scent on his clothes. She wouldn't push it though, now wasn't the time to put the boy under even more pressure. Seeing as the next few hours would end up being some of the most stressful of his life.

They arrived at the NERV facilities shortly after. Shinji followed Misato through the maze of corridors, knowing full well that she had absolutely no idea where she was going. 'Does she even work here?' Shinji asked himself. Of course he knew the answer to that. He noticed the NERV name tag on her red jacket from the moment he lay eyes on her.

He followed the woman into an elevator, and watched her intently stare at the buttons.

"Shit." Misato quietly muttered under her breath, not unheard by Shinji however. Misato pressed B3 and hoped that luck would play out in her favor for once.

As the double doors to the elevator opened, a blond woman in a lab coat wearing a stern expression on her face appeared before them.

"Where have you been Katsuragi." The woman asked Misato with a cold voice.

"Oh come on Ritsuko don't be so harsh. We ran into some trouble on the way here." Misato said lightheartedly, feigning her innocence.

"You got lost didn't you."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Well it doesn't matter. Is this the boy?"

"Yes."

Ritsuko simply nodded and gestured for them to follow her. She walked through the hallways confidently as she lead them to the room that would change Shinji's life forever.

Shinji walked into a dark room that had a narrow walkway running through the center of its open space. On either side of the walkway seemed to be nothing, just black darkness. Shinji walked through the center and heard his footsteps echo off the tile flooring. He stood in the very center of the room and looked around, looking for anything that might give him a clue of what he should be doing.

Suddenly the bright lights flashed on in an instant, temporarily blinding the boy. As he regained his sight, he took a step back in awe as he looked at the large humanoid head that in front of him. The shape of it's head and purple and green color-scheme gave it a reptilian-like appearance and made it look all the more ominous.

"That is Unit-01. The first functional EVA. Humanity's last hope at defeating the angels." Shinji immediately recognized the cold and deep voice. "And you, Shinji, are going to pilot it."

Shinji looked up above him and saw his father standing on a raised platform with an uncaring, cruel expression plastered on his face. His eyes told him everything he needed to know. There was nothing more he wanted of Shinji than to simply pilot it. Shinji grimaced. Shinji was overcome with an emotion he was unfamiliar with. Confusion.

"And how would you expect me to know how to pilot this thing?" Shinji replied to his father with a question, mimicking his cold voice.

"We will ensure that you know what to do once you are in the entry plug." Gendo Ikari said to his son, looking down on him.

"And why must it be me, a 15 year old boy, as opposed to a highly train professional."

"The specifics of what happens here at NERV can only be revealed to those who work here. Piloting the EVA would classify you as employed here, and thus I would be able to provide you with answers."

Shinji knew there had to be some reason for the pilot required to be a child. His father wouldn't place this duty on him if there wasn't.

"And I would be fighting that "Angel" out there?" Shinji asked.

"Yes."

Shinji took a moment to think about everything. He saw the minimal effect the weapons and bombs had on the Angel. Would this monster fair any better. As he looked into its dead eyes, the feeling of power seemed to radiate from the EVA.

There was a deep rumble and shake. Shinji nearly lost his balance and looked up to see large amounts of debris falling from the ceiling in his general area. Shinji lost his footing and simply watched in horror as the rubble came towards him. He didn't flinch however, something he was unable to explain. He watched as he heard the cringe-worthy sound of metal being bent and snapped and watched as the EVA's arm raised over Shinji as a protective barrier and the rubble fell on and around the appendage, leaving Shinji completely unharmed.

Gendo allowed himself a small smile as he saw the confused and shocked expression his son had taken on. Shinji's expression quickly changed however to stern.

"Alright I'll do it. I expect some answers after this is over though." Shinji said looking up at his father, neither of them showing any sign of emotion.

Shinji sat anxiously in the entry plug. He awkwardly gripped the controls and wondered what he was supposed to do besides wait. He was scared. He was beyond scared. He doubted he would be able to do anything in this thing. He didn't want to do this, oh no, he wanted to run away from this and his father and leave it to be someone else's problem. But he knew that if his father that wanted to nothing to do with his son had called him, the circumstances must be dire. His father would much prefer talking to a stranger on the street than to his child, so him being asked, rather, commanded by his father to do the rest was a display of how bad this must have been.

He fiddled in the uncomfortable seat as he awaited directions. Suddenly an orange fluid began filling up the entry plug and the rising level made him worry. An image appeared to his left of the blonde scientist he had met earlier.

"Um, ma'am there's something filling this place up." Shinji said to the woman attempting not to panic or show signs that he was cracking under the pressure.

"That is LCL fluid. It will bring oxygen directly into your lungs and help your sync ratio. And you can call me Doctor Akagi." she said to him through the communication system.

"So how does it work." Shinji was confused by the statement 'bring oxygen directly to your lungs' although maybe he shouldn't be worried about how it worked seeing as the fluid was now level with his chest.

"Basically just let yourself drown."

Shinji had no time to argue the absurdity of this statement as the entry plug filled more rapidly then before and quickly completely submerged him in the liquid. Shinji attempted to hold his breath but after just half a minute he let the air out of his lungs and let the LCL fill his longs. It was an odd feeling, equivalent to what he imagined breathing under whatever would be like. Still, it was unpleasant. Though he couldn't technically smell anything, he scent and taste were far too similar to blood for him to describe it as anything else.

In another room, scientists were marveling at the numbers displayed on their NERV super-computers.

"Dr. Akagi! His sync-ratio is already well over the threshold and seems to be stabilizing in the fortieth percentile." a technician yelled over to the doctor.

"Amazing, he's not even wearing a plug-suit." the Doctor said as she walked over to the technician and peered over his shoulder at the readings.

"Alright Shinji. We're sending you up." Doctor Akagi said to him as she flipped the switch.

Shinji jolted to a stop and he found himself surfaced above street level. The ride upwards was incredibly nauseating.

"Alright we're gonna take this one step at a time. Literally." Misato said to Shinji as he looked over and saw her worried face on the monitor.

Shinji didn't really know what he was supposed to do or how he was supposed to move. He simply did what he felt was right and pulled on one of the triggers in his hand. The right leg of the EVA took a step forward. Everyone in NERV was shocked that he even moved a single part of the EVA with no prior training.

Shinji felt confident as he took his first step forward. However his confidence quickly shriveled up and died as he saw the Angel round the corner of a building and look directly at him. Shinji gulped worry crossed his features. Everyone watching over Shinji took notice of his state.

"Just keep doing what you were doing Shinji, don't worry we'll walk you through this." Misato reassured Shinji. However in her head she wondered if Shinji really would be able to fight this thing.

Shinji took another step. He felt the forward momentum of the EVA and felt as though he somewhat had the hang of it. However he quickly panicked as he felt the forward momentum shift into downward momentum and slammed into the ground. There was a loud thud and rumble as the large machine bounced off the ground with a thud.

Shinji's forehead hurt as if he had hit it and wondered if he hit something in the entry plug as he slammed into the ground.

"Shinji look out!" he heard Misato's worried yell from the monitor and realized that the Angel was standing over him looking down at him.

The Angel grabbed the EVA by the head and began to pull at its left arm. Shinji felt the pain in his arm imminently and saw the physical strain on his arm. He attempted to pull at the triggers through the pain but it wasn't helping. He tried to ignore the pain but as the arm was snapped and the wrist fell limp Shinji closed his eyes and flinched. Though the damage wasn't real the pain certainly was.

The Angel then began pounding on Unit-01's skull with an internal mechanism within the Angel's arm. Shinji cupped his hands over his head hoping to protect himself from the pain. He was in complete terror and panic had overtaken him. Shinji was always calm and level headed but he had no solutions for the problem in front of him and simply wanted to escape the pain. The mechanism within the Angels arm, with one final strike, blew threw the EVA's head and sent it flying and pinned it against the very same mechanism that brought it to the surface.

The Angel retracted its long needle of an AT-Field and Unit-01's head dropped lifelessly as blood sprayed forth from the wound. The last thing he heard was Misato scream his name in terror.

Shinji abruptly awoke in an all white room. He started up at the bright light over-head. 'Unfamiliar ceiling' He though to himself. He sat up in the hospital bed and cupped his head in his right hand. He looked at his left and saw that there was no damage. 'What happened to me?' Shinji thought to himself. But made no conscious attempt to remember. He realized that he'd rather not know what horrors unfolded last night.

He was better off staying ignorant.

After writing and re-writing way more times than necessary, here it is!

Chapter 1...

of so many other chapters...

such a short chapter...

What did I get myself into.