The Chronicles of Camelot
ann no aku
Plot: What if Merlin were really a Time Lord? Slight mockery of the absurdity of Merlin, even though I really enjoy the series.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or Merlin. Both belong to the BBC.
Notes: Takes place post Series 4 of Doctor Who, and between episodes 10 and 11 of Merlin. Meant to only be one chapter, but it got a life of its own and is a three part story.
*****
Part I: The Doctor, the Wizard, and the Police Box
The Doctor had heard the call, felt the pull across time and space. Only such a feeling could affect him so--the feeling of not being alone. He didn't care about the year or where, he just let his TARDIS direct him. His hearts swelled in his chest at the thought of another, another Time Lord.
His ship, as if expecting danger, materialized somewhere deep into the woods--miles away from his destination. Pocketing his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor exited with slight trepidation, unsure of what to expect. He followed the call, followed it out the ancient forest and to the outskirts of a medieval city. Many times (countless, really) he visited strange places--alien worlds, exotic pasts, and ambiguous futures. But never before had he been this nervous, and part of him wondered whether it was due to his age or so few lives left. He was suddenly overly aware of his clothes, how much they'd stand out in a time of poverty and chain mail. He also thought of his teeth and hair, his skin (despite it being 'really bad'), and even his size (tall and thin). He practically screamed 'outsider', 'foreigner', 'alien'.
And that just wouldn't do. The Doctor must fit in. This had to be perfect. After being alone for so long, after the death of Master and Jenny (his pseudo-daughter) he had no other choice but to find the one behind the beckoning that could transcend time. He couldn't waste a minute, not even a second. So he plowed forward through the gates of Camelot, only feeling--not seeing the stares behind windows, not hearing the whispers behind covered mouths.
For the first time, people really noticed him, saw him for what he was. And perhaps, had he been paying any mind, the Doctor would have thought this was because he was emitting the sensation he was different--because of hope, longing, and desperation. After all his silent suffering, years of trying to atone, and now finally feeling a sense of belonging, the Doctor couldn't help but to give off that sense. It was a feeling he hadn't had since his eighth incarnation--home.
He brushed past villagers, peasants, laborers and the like, eager to find the source. It took him to a house belonging to a physician named Gaius. The doctors looked at each other in mild shock, and Gaius ushered him inside. "You best just be visiting Camelot, friend. With the way you stand out, I very much doubt you'll be welcomed here. I'm Gaius, by the way, Court Physician. Who are you?"
"The Doctor," he swallowed, not sensing anything special about Gaius at all.
"Doctor?" the old physician echoed, bustling about his dingy lab. "Doctor of what?"
"Er, everything?" he supplied uselessly. "I'm sorry, don't mean to be nosey, but does anyone else live here?" The Doctor picked up a nearby book and flipped through it as if bored, but Gaius knew better.
"You're right. That is nosey!" And he didn't look very happy either, as a matter of fact. He eyed the Doctor curiously for a moment, holding an empty bottle in one hand and a flask of yellow fluid in the other. "Why do you want to know?"
"Census bureau," he answered, flashing his psychic paper, not bothering to look up from a book on runes. When Gaius said nothing else, the Doctor snapped it shut and poked about the lab, pulling out his specs and studying various bottles.
"I thought you said you were a doctor," Gaius finally said, slowly.
"No, no. You must've misunderstood me. Happens with old age, you know. Shouldn't live by yourself. What if something were to happen to you? Forget to turn off the kettle or add one too many eyes of newt and your whole flat goes up in flames?" He raised his eyebrows pointedly at the baffled physician from behind his glasses. "No, I'm the Doctor. That's my name--Doctor. Parents weren't very creative, but I am knowledgeable in all sciences. Including," he added with a finger in the air, "the science of census . . .ology . . .ism. I have a PhD in censusosophy."
"In what?!"
"Again, poor hearing, Gaius. You should get that checked. I'd be really worried about you if you lived alone. I am a doctor of censusology . . .ism," the Doctor had almost forgotten to add the last bit, only remembering at the final second. "Basically I am counting the population of . . .where'd you say this was?"
"Camelot! In Albion!" boomed an annoyed Gaius. "I don't know what you are talking about with your 'ologies' and 'isms', but if you are a sorcerer, I strongly suggest you leave at once, Doctor! Magic is forbidden in Camelot. King Uther executes anyone whom does magic!" His face was puce after he had finished sputtering. Spittle littered his dry lips.
"Magic?" scoffed the Doctor. "There's no such thing as magic." He paused, looking at Gaius as though for the first time. "Uther, you say? Uther Pendragon? Father to Arthur Pendragon?" He let out a long, low whistle and leaned back on the wooden stool he had sat down upon. Only one peg remained on the floor. "No wonder people kept staring at me. Mind you, I've been kidnapped by cavemen and they barely marveled at my clothes then, I think. I was knocked out for a good bit of the time, in prison the other half. Still, I don't see why this place should be any different. You sure magic is forbidden?" The Doctor spoke quickly, barely breaking for air.
"What difference does it make to you, Doctor? You don't believe in magic."
"Eh," he half heartedly agreed, then slammed his stool back down onto the stone floor with a large crack. "I believe in science, not Harry Potter magic, but some science can look like magic."
Gaius was clearly very frustrated now. "Whatever you are after here in Camelot, I suggest you get it and leave."
But the Doctor wasn't listening. Instead, he had moved to outside Merlin's bedroom door and knocked. "Is this your room?"
"I assume that you already know it isn't because you knocked," he replied through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, well, you know what assuming does." The Doctor jiggled the handle. "It's locked."
"It's private."
"I only want a look."
"And I want you to leave."
"Like that song, 'you can't always get what you want'," his voice trailed off as he dug into his coat pocket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.
"What's that?"
"My wand."
"But it's-"
"-a screwdriver, I know." He sighed, tired of the jokes about his most trusted and constant companion (save that time some alien jerk exploded it sometime during his fifth incarnation).
"I was going to say 'short'."
"Oi!" With a buzz, the metal lock clicked open. Without another look to the now livid physician, the Doctor stole inside.
"How'd you do that? You didn't say anything!" Gaius chased after him, huffing as he stumbled up the stairs.
"Nonverbal spell," the Doctor said unfazed. "But, in case you're wondering, it's 'alohomora'. Try it." He rummaged through the room, searching for something, but Gaius didn't know what.
"Get out! This is Merlin's room, servant to Prince Arthur!"
"Merlin?"
Gaius was pleased to see that the Doctor had stopped rifling through and looked a bit scared. "Yes, Merlin. Now out with you!" Much to his surprised, the uninvited guest listened and promptly exited, walking as though in a daze. He collapsed onto the bench at the scrubbed wooden table.
"Merlin," he said again, sounding awestruck. "The wizard who aged backwards? The most famous wizard of all time?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Merlin is a wizard," the Doctor answered, his tone now more confident.
"No, he's not! Now don't go starting rumors about the boy or he'll be executed!"
"Boy?" The Doctor looked positively confused as though Gaius had snakes coming out his ears.
"Yes! Must you repeat everything I say? Perhaps you are the one with the hearing problem, Doctor!"
Before he could even open his mouth to retort, the door swung widely open, allowing in bright light and a filthy (and very smelly) dark haired young man. Gaius rolled his eyes and tutted loudly. "In trouble again, Merlin? Honestly. What am I going to do with you? I'm surprised you haven't been retired yet."
"Yeah, me, too," he said, appearing awfully pleased for someone who had bits of produce dripping off him.
Underneath the stench and blatant aura of dottiness Merlin gave off, the Doctor could feel a connection with him. He was the one! His hearts beat rapidly in acknowledgement as the boy joined him on the bench, not bothering to remove his soiled clothes.
"Who's your guest, Gaius?" he inquired, helping himself to some of the stale bread before him.
"Another skinny idiot," he answered grouchily. "I seem to attract you lot, Lord knows why." Gaius rolled his eyes again and sat opposite his apprentice. He couldn't help but to notice the way the Doctor stared at Merlin, as though the boy was the most fascinating thing in the universe (in which he really was, Gaius had to admit). "Hungry, Merlin? Didn't get enough to eat as the townspeople pelted you with tomatoes? What was it this time--lying again for Arthur?"
"No," came the reply through a mouthful of food. "I accidentally walked in on Morgana changing. She has a screen; I don't see why she doesn't use it!" But he looked happier than ever at the memory.
"And you have a brain that seems to be going to waste," sighed Gaius. "So Morgana got her medicine, did she?"
"Yeah, after screaming so loudly I though my ears would burst."
The Doctor now stared in absolute horror. This horny, stringy moron was Merlin?! The one who called him here? He couldn't believe it! He must've gotten the wrong Merlin; the TARDIS must've made a mistake. Wouldn't be the first time, he thought wryly, or even the tenth, for that matter. Still, I suppose that's what I get for stealing a third rate ship that's well beyond due for a replacement.
"I'm sorry," the Doctor apologized again, in his way that meant he wasn't sorry at all, addressing the foul-smelling boy. "But, you're Merlin?"
"Yes," he nodded vigorously. "Do I know you? Have we met?"
"You can't be Merlin!"
"Why not? I'm Merlin."
"B-But you're a boy!" he nearly screamed, overly aware of how feeble that counter-argument sounded.
"You claim to be a doctor," cut in Gaius, leaning across the table. "Yet you seem to be ignorant of the fact that all men start off as boys."
"Not Merlin!" exclaimed the Doctor, beside himself with a frantic desire to knock some sense into these people.
"So, you know of me?" Merlin grinned, overjoyed that he wasn't really the loser that he was pretty sure others thought him to be.
"What? Of course! You're the universe's most famous wizard!" The Doctor pulled on his hair, completely and utterly flummoxed by the situation.
His smile immediately fell from his pulp-stained face. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're Merlin?"
"Yes."
"Work for Arthur Pendragon?"
"Yes, but-"
"Called Emrys by the Druids?"
Merlin swallowed. How could he know-? "Er-"
The Doctor let out a loud groan, leaning back dangerously. His body teetered on the bench before beginning a quick descent to the floor. Without even realizing what he was doing, Merlin slowed down time and hastily moved a small pile of hay (using his mind) to break his fall. The oddly clothed man landed with a soft thud, massaging his tail bone and looking at Merlin with wide, watery eyes.
"I-I didn't-" Merlin uselessly began.
"Great," mumbled Gaius. "Now he's going to blab all over town and you'll be dead by tomorrow morning. Myself included, I bet. Uther will believe I had known you were a wizard."
"OI!" the Doctor shouted, interrupting their monologues. Gingerly, he picked himself up, bits of straw littered his backside. "Still in pain here!"
"Go concoct some medicine, then, Doctor!" sneered the physician, not moving from his seat. Much to his annoyance, the Doctor rejoined them at the table.
"No, really, I didn't," swallowed Merlin. "You can't tell anyone. Please. They'll kill me." He thought of his friend Will, and how betrayed Arthur had looked upon learning that Will was a sorcerer.
"Who am I going to tell?" the Doctor snarled, obviously still smarting from his tumble. "You have anything for a bruised tailbone . .and pride? Not aspirin, I'm allergic."
"Merlin, go get the Doctor some ointment---the blue one, not the white!" he called after the boy, correctly predicting his future mistake. "After he helps you, Doctor, you will leave." They glared at each other until Merlin returned, a blue clay jar in hand.
"Okay, um" he eyed the Doctor nervously, juggling the pot as if unsure what to do with it. Merlin compromised by nearly slamming it on the table. "You can put it on yourself, right?"
"Thanks." He opened the jar and sniffed it, making a rather rude face. "Can't you just magic me back to health, Merlin? I mean, it is your fault. Although, mind you, I could go for a banana if you have one. Ran out on my last visit to London. I'm pretty sure I've a Graske hidden on board and that he's been eating my bananas, either that or collecting them. That lot really like Earth food." The Doctor replaced the pot, his back seemingly all better.
"What's a banana?" asked Merlin, looking to Gaius, bewilderment etched on his young face.
"Never mind that! What's a Graske?" Gaius watched as the Doctor got up and strolled around the room. "Cured, are we?"
"Yes! Nasal osmosis--absorbed the medicine by scent." He was standing by the door as if to leave, and Gaius's hopes were very high at the mere idea of it.
Then the door swung open again, to Gaius's annoyance, and Arthur tore in, positively white with fury. He was so beside himself with ire, that he didn't seem to realize he had hit the Doctor in the back of the head, knocking him out and sending him violently crashing to the floor. "MERLIN!" he boomed.
"Y-Yes, Sire?" he squeaked, terrified his friend had come to tell him off about Morgana.
"What the hell are you doing still filthy like that? I told you I had a jousting tournament today, and you think it more prudent to parade about in produce pulp!"
"Nice alliteration-"
"Get cleaned up, come to the castle, and quit spying on Morgana!" As quickly as he had come, Arthur left, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang, revealing an unconscious Doctor.
Audibly, Merlin gulped. "Well, that went better than I had thought it would."
"Quit lazing about and get ready while I tend to this fool. He seems to be as dumb as you, Merlin." Gaius picked up the Doctor by his feet and dragged him across the floor. "Help me put him in my bed, first. Oh, I'm never going to get rid of him."
*****
Part II- The Dragon and It's Wizard