Mistletoe and an Insufferably Cute Jackal-Boy
Disclaimer: I highly doubt that Rick Riordan writes fanfiction for his fiction
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Even before I knocked on the gilded doors, I could hear Sadie. Allow me to explain. I'm Anubis, the god of death and death rituals, although some of you may know me as The Dog (Bast), Death Boy (Sadie), God of Toilet Paper (Sadie), Jackal Boy (Sadie), and The God of Pretty Much Nothing Useful (also Sadie). Lord Osiris (or Julius, either one will work), sent me to Brooklyn House to "get into the spirit of the season," and "get some fresh air and sunlight" and other stuff that I don't understand. As far as I can tell, getting into the spirit of the season was standing around shivering as a mild snowstorm slowly froze me to death (figuratively speaking-I can't exactly freeze me to me) as I listened to Sadie screaming insults to Carter, the bloody tree (I have no idea), the initiates, Carter, penguins, and Carter. I have the hearing of a jackal, so I could make out every word that Sadie was yelling, most of which that I cannot repeat because this document would probably be condemned. I listened intently as Sadie bellowed: "Jaz? JAZ! Hang up this mistletoe, will you? I need to send Felix's penguins back to Antarctica again.*pause* I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BUISY, JUST HANG UP THE BLOODY MISTLETOE!" I stretched out my hand, paused, and finally knocked on one of the protective hieroglyphs. A short silence followed my knock, and then I heard Sadie yell, "Carter, get the door." There was a brief pause, and then I heard Sadie snort disbelievingly and shout, "Buisy? Too buisy making out with Zia, mostly." I dimly heard an outraged reply from Carter, and then "Fine I'LL get the stupid door. You would probably would forget, anyways." There was the sound of stomping feet, and then the door banged upward and Sadie peered out, squinting her sapphire eyes against the snow and peering up at me. Her jaw dropped. I offered a short bow (her father is my employer in The Hall of Judgment, after all) and requested politely, "Lady Kane. May I come in?" She gave me a death glare and then grumbled, "Fine. I give Anubis, God of Death, Toilet Paper, and Pretty Much Nothing Useful permission to enter." She then marched inside, with me following her in.
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When I saw Anubis, I couldn't believe my eyes. Well, I guess I could, because I knew Dad or Mum might send him one day, at least to make me panic and momentarily lose my mind. And then the bloody jackal had the nerve to bow to me AND call me Lady Kane. Let's just say that he will be lucky if I don't try the Ha-Di spell on him before the day ends. As I lead him into Brooklyn House, I informed him on the festivities and the concept of Christmas. The poor boy didn't seem to understand why we celebrated it, and I had to inform him that we had celebrated this holiday all our life, and why was he here in the first place? When he replied that Dad had sent him, I wasn't surprised and promptly stuck a Santa hat on him, which confided him and earned me a few minutes of silence. Sadly, it didn't last very long. I heard a loud CAW!, the buzzing of chainsaw wings, and yells of terror. Dragging a protesting (and very confused) Anubis behind me, I ran up to the roof and found a chaotic (and not very surprising) scene: Freak, my brother's psychopath griffon, wearing reindeer antlers and flying around in confused circles, dragging the reed boat (disguised as Santa's sleigh) full of trainees while my incompetent brother chased after him, tripping, cursing, and doing pretty much nothing to handle the situation. Anubis caught up and stared, openmouthed, at the sight of it all before I shoved him downstairs and started to walk away. He glanced over my shoulder and asked, "What?"… in a stunned voice. I interrupted. "Just ignore it," I said, not looking back. "My idiot brother would have to deal with it on his own."
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As I followed Sadie down the hall, I tried to ignore the shouts and screeches echoing behind us and focus on what Sadie was telling me. …. "And that's mistletoe," she said, waving dismissively at a clump of leaves and white berries dangling from the ceiling. "Whoever steps under it has to kiss the next person they see. On the mouth." She glanced back at me, her cheeks red. "I have no idea where the tradition started or why, but to make sure people don't flee from it, I cast a spell that fastens a person's feet to the floor until they kiss someone." She grinned suddenly, a mischievous twinkle in her bright blue eyes. "I already caught Carter and Zia under it. Let's just say they stayed way longer than necessary." Her eyes unfocused for a second. "Happy Days…" Then she jolted suddenly to a stop. "What the…" I looked at her, confused. "Uh-oh." Sadie's eyes widened. "Anubis, try to move." "Why?" "Just do it!" I attempted to walk away, and found my feet stuck to the floor. I couldn't move. Sadie cursed and slowly let her gaze drift upward.
There was a tuft of mistletoe hanging above our heads.
Sadie swore in Ancient Egyptian and blushed a deep red. I regarded at her and asked, "Sadie, how exactly do we get out of here?" She mumbled something to jumbled for me to make out. I repeated my question. She glared at me and took a deep breath before saying; "You have to kiss me."
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I looked away as soon as I said that, my face burning. I could still see Anubis out of the corner of my eye, his head tipped to an angle in that endearingly cute way of his, the Santa hat still perched on his head at an awkward angle. My statement probably made him so angry and confused now. I mean, he kissed me on my birthday, but that was just him being nice, right? He hasn't even been in the mortal world for 5,000 years now- he was probably just obeying a custom from way back then…. My thoughts abruptly came to a halt as soft lips met mine. I stared at him dazed, as he gave me a gentle smile. "Maybe you can tell me about fruitcake now, yes? And watch out for that mistletoe." He walked carefully out from under the plant. I followed him, grinning stupidly.
Maybe the holidays weren't so bad, after all.