Marry the Night
By Nikkel
( c ) to Michael Dante DiMartino, Bryan Koneitzko, and Nickelodeon Studios
"My own mother... though I was a monster."
There came a pause from Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee. It was strange – seeing Azula gaze into the dying embers of the fire, and hearing a resounding sadness in her voice – something none of them had ever really seen or heard.
But Azula shrugged. "She was right, of course, but it still hurt."
"I don't think you're a monster," Ty Lee said.
Azula shrugged again. "While that's very complimentary of you, Ty Lee, that doesn't change the truth of the matter."
"What are you talking about?" Zuko cut in. "I mean, sure we know you got on mom's bad side a lot, but that doesn't mean..."
"You were her favorite."
"Huh?"
"You were her favorite. And if she ever comes back, you probably still are."
Zuko sat back down on one of the boulders surrounding the fire pit. "And what makes you think that?"
"It's none of your concern, really."
"Oh, c'mon Azula. You've gotta give us more to work with than that," Ty Lee replied, sitting down as well.
"No, I don't."
"She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to," Mai added.
"Don't put words in my mouth," Azula snapped. Mai sighed and rolled her eyes, sitting next to Zuko.
"Well, we've all said something tonight," Zuko pointed out. "And we're not going to judge you on what you have to say."
Azula raised a credulous brow, unconvinced. "Right."
"Really!" Ty Lee exclaimed. "I mean, isn't Ember Island the place for this kinda stuff?"
"I suppose so."
"So," Zuko said. "Tell us."
Azula rolled her eyes. She was silent, her arms crossed, and looking away from them and out at the dark ocean. She then threw her hand out, a blue-white jet of light striking the firepit, bringing it back to life with dancing, cobalt flames. Ty Lee yelped, Mai felt for a shruiken in her sleeve, and Zuko kept his eyes locked on his sister.
"You see, there's no need for me to explain to you why my mother thought I was a monster," Azula said. She now stood, a hand out and commanding the blue flames to twist and ensnare each other, like angry dragons. "Because I know I am, just as much as you know I am. I can't be a goody-goody like the rest of you, and when I think about, I don't really want to. There's no reason for me to be. I can be a monster, a lair, and a nightmare, but that's me. When you're born this way, there's no choice but to embrace it. You have to marry the night."
The blue flames died down, but remained, tangled in themselves.
"I don't understand..." Zuko said, brow knitted. "I mean... We all have our flaws, but that doesn't make us monsters."
"I didn't expect you to understand," Azula replied, smirking. There was a dark, confident glimmer in her amber eyes, as if she had won a battle or game. "Perhaps it's because you're not honest enough with yourself to say that you're a monster, too. Same goes for the rest of you."
"Didn't you just say you could be a liar?" Mai pointed out, skeptical.
Azula shrugged. "I did. So what?"
"So how do we know that what you're telling us isn't a bunch of lies?" Ty Lee asked.
"You don't, but that isn't my problem," Azula said. "I am a monster. I was born this way, just as I was born lucky, and just as I was born royal. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd love to crash Chan's lame party."
The flames went out. Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee stared at one another, and then at Azula, unsure of how to react.
"Oh, come on now," Azula sighed. "Don't tell me you're all evaluating your personal lives now."
"Do you really believe that, Azula?" Ty Lee asked, her eyes wide and worrisome. "That... you're born that way?"
"Why, of course!"
"Well then," Mai said, and stood up. "You have some really messed up ways of thinking. I hope you know that."
"You can say that again," Zuko added. "But... I guess whatever works for you."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Azula said.
"I don't think you should," Ty Lee murmured.
"Too late!"
"Let her think what she wants to, Ty Lee," Mai interjected. "Don't try to understand it."
"But I want to."
"Mai's right," Azula added. "Don't bother with it. Now, quit being a drag, and help us crash a party."
Author's Note: Yes, I love Lady Gaga. Anyways, if Azula is to ever recover, I'd love to see her portrayed in this kind of light - bold, fearless, and sharp... Not that she wasn't in the first place, of course. But perhaps then she accepts that she's a monster instead of trying to reject it and be haunted by it so much. I had been hoping throughout the entire series that there'd be a moment where she comes off like this, but that wouldn't do for character development or plotline, would it? Nah, didn't think so.
Also: If you're wondering why I didn't just go with the title "Born This Way", as per the slight references contained within the story, it's that "Marry the Night" is about embracing the darker side of life (or at least that's my interpretation of it). And I haven't been able to stop listening to it nor stop watching the video.
