Florida Oranges
By Biz Opie
I pulled it out of the paper towel that Janelle had wrapped it in before she gave it to me. Parts of the tissue stuck to it from being a little sticky but I was planning on washing it off anyway so that was fine. I rinse it under some warm water because I didn't want it to make me jumpy. And then I thought about how I was actually gonna to do it.
The condom kept flopping back in forth in my hand till I decided to just shove it on up. It was going to be messy no matter what I did but it'd be worth it.
I swear that I could feel it working within the next few minutes and definitely in the next few days. All the girls from the park kept telling me how much I was glowing every time I went to Janelle's to see her and her kids. I couldn't wait to take my own over someday. Everyone had kids. Everyone, but me. I kept telling Hank I wanted them but I don't think he has been trying hard enough which is why I decided to do something else.
Janelle already had 5 kids so I knew Ted, that's her husband, could make it work. Plus, Ted looked a lot like Hank so it was fine.
For the next two weeks I cleaned up Hank's and my place so well. He even noticed that I was doing extra cleaning to the trailer home and wanted to know why, but I kept the baby a secret from him until I knew for sure.
I scrubbed every cabinet and swept every floor I could find, it was dead hot too and the bugs were just starting to come out from the swamp. But I didn't care. I even decided to go into our little storage room across the hall from the bathroom and see if I could clear stuff up and imagine what the baby's room would look like. Hank told me when we bought this place that it would be our baby's room but ever since he started piling all of his belongings in there it's like he forgot about it. Or maybe he was just mad that I wasn't pregnant till now. I don't know.
We've been trying to get pregnant for so long now that I can't remember when we first started. Hank doesn't even buy or take condoms anymore so it's surprising why I don't have a kid yet. Hank told me that it's probably my fault but I know it's not.
My mom had nearly 8 kids. She said she woulda had more but that's around the time her man left so she didn't have anyone to go do it with. Also, there was no more help from him so she had to find a way to get enough money for food and stuff. But even her mom had five kids and her sister had seven. So I know it's not my problem, it runs in the family.
I looked out the back window and into the yard. Everything would be perfect for the baby, our place was so nice. Hank and I even made a big boulder path right outside our back door for looks. Most people around here don't even care what their place looks like but we did ours up. Hank pulled up those boulders himself from near the swamp. They had to be nearly over my knees and a hundred pounds. But he brought them anyway and put them right by the wooden steps out the back door. He also had made those wooden steps himself but I don't think he wanted to because he when he finished there was a gap between the door and the first step. It wasn't big though and you couldn't see it from a ways away so that's okay. But at least he made the boulders curve around to the left and look all fancy. The kids will someday love playing in that back yard.
Hank and I got lucky too because we got a trailer on the edge of the park, which meant we only had two neighbors, one on each side. Hank loved living on the side of the park because that meant he could just walk out the back door, down the creaky steps we built and out, into swamp to hunt with his friends.
I really hope the baby is a boy because that would be a fun thing to do with his dad, go out and hunt. And he can do it all year too because Florida is always warm.
I turned my head to the left to look at the old orange tree that never made oranges and saw Hank coming back with his friends. That's when I decided that in one month I would tell him because then I would know for sure I was pregnant and wouldn't need to waste money on a test. Or even have him accidently find one that I didn't hide good. I knew anyway so it doesn't matter.
Before he made it inside and put his guns away in our bedroom closet I ran in there and found the day one month from now on the dog calendar Hank got me last year for Christmas. I rubbed a little of my pink lipstick off with my thumb and smudged it on the day so I knew when it was.
I planned on truly keeping it a secret until that pink smudge day but there was no hiding all the changes from Hank. A few times he even asked me why I was so happy or what I was hiding because everything was just how I always planned it. It wasn't until one morning when I was up making coffee and cleaning the kitchen when he really dug into me.
"Mornin' Hank." I said when he walked from the bedroom straight into the kitchen where I was pullin' mugs off the shelf.
"It's too hot for coffee, Mar," it was short for Marilyn and he was right. It was only 7:30 in the morning and already hotter than hell and buggier than ever. It was June anyway.
"Sorry. How bout something to eat?"
"Nah. Just get me some water. I gotta get to work." I continued to scrub each of the unused mugs I had pulled down before putting them on the shelf.
"Now why you taken extra time to do that? Why you taken extra time to do everything this week? You never has cleaned like this before and you even got into some of my storage and I don't like that. I need to know where my stuff is at." He yanked his boots from the other seat and slammed them on the floor before putting them on. "Just tell me what has gotten into you, woman because I ain't very happy about some of the stuff you've been doin'."
"I'm pregnant, Hank."
He kept looking down at his boots like he was trying to figure out if they were on the right feet or somethin' and I could feel a gnat on the back of my neck as I smiled at the side of his head.
"Hank?" My smile was fading.
"I heard ya."
"Aren't you happy? We're gonna have a baby!"
"No, Mar, you are."
He walked out of the trailer.
I didn't understand what he meant by that. I didn't even see him for almost a week and found out from Janelle who found out from Mary whose husband has a hammock that he was sleeping on that.
When he finally came around I had that storage area cleared out and put all his hunting things and tools that were in there in boxes and in the storage under the trailer. He didn't like that.
"How th'hell you think it's okay to move stuff?"
"But the baby needs a room."
"Not my baby."
"But where will our baby sleep?"
"You're baby can sleep with its dad."
"But that's with you, Hank."
"Ain't."
He went and slept on the hammock again for a few more nights after he grabbed his clothes from the bedroom.
After another night alone I was feeling pretty lonely so I went to Janelle's. She only lives a couple trailers away so it's nice when I need to go see her. We talked about Hank and the baby. She thinks he knows and I think I believe her but I don't know how he found out.
"He'll come 'round. Everyone wants babies and you two is the only ones we know that don't got any yet. He's almost 27 and he ain't got a son to carry on his name. He'll turn around real quick, you just wait."
"But Hank ain't even sleeping with me anymore. He's staying on Mary's husband's hammock. He don't even want to be near me."
"Ha. They're not gonna let him stay there forever. Plus the bugs will be gettin' to him. No one can sleep like that for very long."
She was right. After Janelle gave me her old crib for the baby's room to borrow, I took it down the dirt road to my little white and navy trailer to put in the baby's room. I don't know how Hank could handle those bugs in the early morning with the dew because I could hardly stand them during my walk a couple trailers down. The entire time I was swatten at my necks and calves because that's what they like to eat most. I walked up my rock path to the front door that Hank and I made when we first moved here two years ago. It's just like the one to the back door. I opened the door, it was always unlocked, and there was Hank. He was waiting for me.
"Heyya Hank," I said walking through the doorway and into the kitchen.
"Well, well lil' missy, what we have here? Or should I say missies?" He sounded like a snake.
"Hank, you shouldn't drink around the baby. I can't."
"It's not my baby though, Mar. It's not my baby!"
I didn't even know what to say. Hank was right.
"Who'd ya screw, hmm? Was it that Gerry boy down the block? The young one with the blonde hair and the dog? Or was it that queer from the corner store? Who'd ya screw, Mar?"
"Nobody…" My eyes were feeling wet and I couldn't see his face anymore.
"Bullshit, I ain't got no way of making a baby. My balls don't work."
"That's not true, Hank."
"It is! My little brother, Cody, got mad cause I killed his snake one day when we're young and he hit me with a wood bat right between my legs. It all swolled up and don't work. That's what the doctor said." He took a staggered step towards me as he continued to point at his crotch.
"Hank." I also took a step back. Through my blurry eyes I could see he was too close.
"What, Mar? You really think I'm gonna raise a bastard?" He poked my stomach hard.
"Ouch, Hank! Stop it!"
"Ya hurt? I hurt, stupid bitch. You just haaad to have a baby, didn' you?"
"But we were tryin' so hard and you said it was my fault so I tried somethin' else."
"You're just a stupid—" He started comin' toward me so I ducked under his wobbling body and stood next to back door.
"Hank, stop! You're drunk. It don't need to be this way. It's still our baby."
"Just come here. You did wrong, Mar." He started stumbling my way so I turned and opened the door and jumped over the gap between the trailer and the steps.
"Ya, just run back to your baby daddy you slut." He started to slowly make his way down the steps as well which is when I decided to run out into the yard.
That's when I felt it. I knew what was happening but I didn't want to believe it. I slipped my hand in between my hands and my panties and that's when I felt it. I looked up at the orange tree that never grew oranges only to see it as bare as ever.