A/N Another random ass thing I found lurking on an old hard drive. Now if I could only find the Jooster fic I'd been looking for, I'd be really happy
"Michael, if that car were human, you'd be married to it!" The words had been shouted in exasperation, the ending moments of a barely-begun relationship. There were some that took kindly to KITT, some that were entirely too freaked out by the concept of a talking car to spend much time around the AI, some that were completely nonplussed, and viewed it as nothing more than a car. But Lori, Lori had been surprisingly jealous of the relationship between he and KITT.
He watched six feet of leggy blond skulk off, leaving him behind. The low rumble of the engine beneath him reminded him that perhaps it wasn't the best thing to be sitting in the middle of a LA parking lot in the middle of the day. He found himself unable to stop thinking about what she had said, her parting words to him. He'd never considered the idea before. To him, KITT was the car. The personality behind his TransAm. And while he viewed his partner as an equal, as a friend, he'd never once considered the possibility of a human KITT.
He's not quite sure of where they drive to, as he gets behind the wheel, simply someplace far away. His partner stays silent, recognizing Michael's need to brood. They understood each other on that deeper level. Where KITT knew Michael's moods, and he knew KITT's. They could read each other, communicate on a deeper level than speech alone allowed. And it was odd, he thought, to realize just how close they had become. The last person he had allowed himself to be this close to had been Stevie. The only other person he had allowed himself to be this close to.
"Kitt?"He questioned, after what seemed like hours of nothing but 'classic' hits that were no more than ten years out of date keeping company between them.
"Yes Michael?"
"Have you ever, y'know, wondered what it's like to be-well-"
"Human?"
"Yeah."
"I-" There's a pause, and it surprises him. He's never known KITT to be at a loss for words before. "I sometimes wonder, yes. For example, while I know what the constituent chemicals of that cheeseburger you are eating are, while I know how it breaks down, digests, what happens to all the nutrition-or lack thereof-it contains, I do not know how it tastes. Why you find them to be such an enjoyable meal." He found himself staring at the burger in his hand with something akin to awe. He'd never considered something so simple as taste as something to be envious of.
"You've considered being human and all you can think about are burgers?" He found himself asking, cursing himself at just how crude the comment was.
"There are other things, too. Like what it's like to lay on the beach without having to worry about sad in my grille."
"No, but we humans have to worry about sand in other unfortunate places. And sunburn."
"Have you ever wished I was human?"
"Honestly pal, the thought never crossed my mind until today."
"Really?" He's surprised at KITT's surprise.
"Well, yeah. I mean, you've always been-you. I never really thought about you any other way. Haven't wanted to think about you any other way. I mean, there was the time that you wound up shoved in that TV set, but you were still...you."
"Do you think that things would be different between us if I were human?" There's a long pause as they both take a moment to consider just what KITT's question implied.
"Yes. No. Maybe." He sighed, running a hand over his face. "I mean, if you'd been human from the start, then yeah. This-I mean-we'd never have any of it. It just wouldn't have happened. I'd have shut you out from the start."
"But now?"
"Now, I mean, I'd like to think it wouldn't change anything. Except maybe I'd get a chance to win at Street Fighter, huh?"
"Michael, even if I was human, I still doubt your lack of skill in that game would ever allow you to beat anyone."
"Not true. I won the last time I was at the arcade."
"You were playing against an eight year old." He couldn't help the chuckle.
"I still won, didn't I? Use some of that whiz bang computer magic to figure out how to turn yourself human for a day, and we'll have a rematch when you don't have your circuts to help you out."
"Do you really wish that?"
"What?"
"For me to be human?" He froze, not sure of how to respond.
"Well, I mean, it'd be fun for a few days. You'd get to discover the wonderfullness of burgers, I could show you just what's so much fun about rock climbing."
"In which case, I think I'll pass."
"I still don't see why you dislike it so much."
"Because it's risking life and limb for no forseeable purpose."
"The purpose is to climb."
"Yes, but why?"
"It's-" He paused, unsure of how to describe the reasoning for it. Simply for the sense of accomplishment. To look at mother nature and realize that he was better than it. "Once you try it, you'll get it."
"I have no interest in trying it."
"Aw, c'mon buddy. What good would being human be if you weren't willing to try things?"
"I would be willing to try things. Just not-that."
"So what would you be willing to try?" He doesn't intend for the question to sound so loaded, but it comes out that way.
"Anything but that."
"Anything?" He questions, his mind already going off in a thousand different directions.
"Michael-"
"Buddy, you just locked yourself into a long night of drinks and dancing if you can figure out a way to make this work."
"You're only saying that because half the women you've managed to 'pick up' as you say you only managed because of me."
"Well, that may play a small part in it."
"Small part?"
"Okay, okay, you've got me, pal. I'd take you to a bar to play wingman to me. But that's not all you are."
"Is it?"
"Fine then, given the chance, what do you want to do?" There is a long pause. Long enough to make Michael start to feel uncomfortable. "Kitt?"
"There are many things I would like to try. I simply cannot come up with one thing above all that I would want to do." He's surprised at just how much thought his car has put into this, and he says as much. "It is something to pass the time when I have little else to do."
"You'd like this, wouldn't you? A chance to be human?"
"It would be interesting, as you said, for a few days. I could not imagine enjoying it for long."
"Shame it can't happen."
"Such is life."