Within White Walls and Dark Thoughts
Summary: Sakura had been in a coma for three years, and woke up to find her life completely different. Angry at the harsh reality, she became cold and moody. Syaoran Li, her doctor, have been watching over her for the past 3 years, and under his care, Sakura finds herself settling in the world again.
Disclaimer: Do not own any of the CCS characters
Author's Note: This new story had been growing at the back of mind and I started it a while ago, and I wanted to upload it, even though I am still writing Tell Her She's Amazing! But I wanted to upload Chapter 1 so I know what you guys think of the story. I know that Tell Her She's Amazing had been confusing at times, and maybe a tad bit realistic, so I had written this story earlier, and I really want to upload it!
This is another angsty-romance-hurt/comfort type of fanfic, since it's my type of genre(s). Hooray for better grammar (I hope,) longer chapters, and a more mature plot!
Chapter 1: Awakening of the Body, But not of the Heart
"Doctor Li-sama, Kinomoto-san's fingers were moving, and we noticed her heartbeat changing pace. She should be waking up soon," said the nurse, reading notes that were scribbled on her notebook.
"Thank you, Arie-san, is there anything else? No signs of blood clots in the brain?" replied Syaoran Li sternly. Syaoran felt excitement rise in his voice, but he maintained his professional demeanor as a doctor. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time.
He recalled three years ago, when there was an emergency at Tomeoda Hospital in the middle of the night. His shift was about to end in five minutes and he wanted to go home since it was already 3:15am. But a family of four was in a major car crash between a reckless truck driver and the Kinomoto family. The truck had killed the parents, Fujitaka and Nadeshiko instantly. Sakura and her older Touya Kinomoto were under critical condition when they were sent in to the hospital.
Syaoran had treated Sakura Kinomoto. She had internal bleeding, broken ribs, fingers, arms, and legs. Her head was bleeding and Syaoran figured that she was suffering from a brain injury. He was one of the top neurologists in the hospital, and he assessed that Sakura's case was not going to be easy. Sakura was wide eyed, staring at Syaoran. She didn't look scared, but she looked very sad.
"You must stay awake," he had said to Sakura, and she had given him a very sad look. She could barely speak, but her emerald green eyes conveyed her pain. She whispered, "Save…Touya."
Then she fainted. In that split second, Syaoran was enveloped by her breathtaking eyes and he could not wipe out the sad look she had on her face. He had wheeled Sakura to the operating room and performed a seven hour surgery. She had suffered major brain trauma, he was worried that she wouldn't make it. But he was successful and Sakura fell into a coma for three years.
Now, Sakura Kinomoto, was finally about to awake. He was worried, though. If Sakura asked questions about her family, and he expected she would, he didn't know how she would handle the news. There was also a possibility of memory loss as well.
When Syaoran and Nurse Arie arrived at Sakura's room, Syaoran immediately went over to Sakura and shined a light over her pupils. The pupil seemed to react to light. He clicked off his light, and looked anxiously at Sakura. She looked like an angel, resting peacefully. Even the IV connected to her arm, the bandage around her head, and the neck brace she wore didn't distort her beauty.
"Miss Kinomoto?" said Syaoran uncertainly. He bit his lip, wondering if Sakura would respond. Suddenly, he saw her finger twitch, then two fingers twitched. Slowly, but surely, Sakura opened her eyes. There it was; the same beautiful green eyes he saw three years ago. But this time, these eyes didn't look sad. They were confused.
"Where am I?" was her first words. Syaoran ran his hand through his messy, chocolate brown hair.
"Kinomoto-san, you are currently in Tomeoda Hospital, under intensive care. Do you know anything that happened to you?"
Sakura gave him a frightened look.
"Do you know your name?" said Syaoran gently.
"Sakura?" she questioned.
"Good," smiled Syaoran, "I'm your Doctor, Doctor Syaoran Li."
"Why am I here?" asked Sakura.
"You were in a car crash three years ago, and you were brought in," explained Syaoran Li. He had to start being careful now; Sakura did not know the fate of her parents and her brother, yet.
"Three?" said a horrified Sakura.
"Yes, three," said Syaoran sadly, "But I am glad you woke up. I know you have many questions, but it would be good for you to rest a bit. Then I have to check on your body functions and movements, and see if you are mobile."
Sakura looked lost in her bed. All her memories swimming in her brain was a blur. She couldn't make out any clear thoughts. She felt like a fish out of the water.
The pager of Syaoran's beeped. He checked the time, and he realized his shift had ended.
"I'll be back, okay? I'm going to get a change of clothes," he smiled at her and walked towards the door. He wanted to change his clothes in case the other employees thought he was still on his shift and he might be handed extra work. He loved being a doctor, but being a top neurologist also meant he got less time to himself.
"Sakura, how about I bring you some water, you must be thirsty," said Nurse Arie. Accidentally, the files from her hand slipped; some landed on Sakura's bed and some landed on the floor.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she squirmed and bent down to pick up the files. Syaoran turned back around to help Nurse Arie. She blushed as Syaoran handed her the files. He was extremely good looking, and many of the nurses were attracted to him. Syaoran didn't notice Nurse Arie blushing and he certainly didn't notice that the file dropped on Sakura's bed was her own file.
Sakura gingerly picked up the file with her free arm. She glanced at the front page, and saw her own face staring back. She read:
NAME: Sakura Kinomoto
GENDER: Female
BIRTHDAY: April 1, 1989
AGE: 23
PARENTS: Fujitaka Kinomoto- DECEASED, Nadeshiko Kinomoto-DECEASED
SIBLINGS: Touya Kinomoto- DEACEASED
OCCUPATION: Assistant Editor/Journalist
She didn't bother reading the rest of the information after. She felt like someone poured a bucket of ice over her while she read the beginning of her profile. Deceased?
"Kinomoto-san," said Syaoran slowly. He knew what was coming next, he had seen many patients going into shock or screaming at them.
Sakura was stunned. Her parents, and her beloved, overprotective brother, had been gone for three years, but Sakura was here, being kept alive. Were her parents given a proper burial? Sakura felt selfish, selfish that she was alive and her parents were not. She remembered that Touya had protected her instantly when the truck had collided with her parent's car. She remembered blood, and lots of it. She recalled Touya's smile before he fainted, because he protected his little sister. That smile, was the last time she had seen him. It was unfair that she was left alone in this world.
"Why," said Sakura.
"I'm sorry, the truck was going at a very fast speed and when it hit your car-"
"No," interjected Sakura. "Why am I alive? Why didn't you send me off?"
"What are you talking about? I'm a doctor, and I'm here to make sure you're okay as much as I try," said Syaoran. Sakura Kinomoto was definitely different; people want to live don't they?
"It's not fair, it's not fair," cried Sakura.
"Kinomoto-san, please. You have the right to live and be here, like everyone else that came in here through the doors," coaxed Syaoran.
He flashed back three years ago, when Sakura's family came in. When he had finished with Sakura's surgery, he went to see her brother. He was informed that the brother did not have much time before he passed away, but his love for his sister had kept him alive indefinitely. When Syaoran greeted a semi-lifeless Touya, he was faced with a man who had jet black hair, and fierce dark brown eyes. Although he was weakening by the moment, Syaoran could feel Touya's fierce spirit as he uttered three words, "Is she alive?"
Syaoran nodded. Then Touya uttered another two words, "Protect her." Syaoran nodded again, then Touya closed his eyes and Touya was gone.
And Syaoran was trying his best to follow Sakura's brother's simple order.
"Go," said Sakura. She didn't want to listen to anyone, especially this man who was supposed to be her doctor. Syaoran didn't budge.
"GO!" screeched Sakura.
"Please, Kinomoto, you will hurt yourself, you are not healed yet," said Nurse Arie.
Syaoran started to feel angry. What kind of patient would be unhappy to be alive? Is this how she was treating her brother's last wish?
"You could be a little nicer that we here and your brother did your best to keep you alive," said Syaoran and he left the room. He felt guilty that his temper got hold of him, but Sakura seemed to prefer not living. What was the point of his job then?
Sakura sat in her bed, in fright. She felt alone, and she hated this feeling. Her body was shivering, as if it remembered these feelings before. But she couldn't recall what made her feel this way. She started to panic at the memory loss.
She felt strapped to bed, like she was in a prison cell she couldn't get out of. The brace she felt around her neck was heavy. If she was sleeping like that for three years, technically everything would've healed physically, she thought. The IV connected to her arm was starting to feel painful. She wanted to get out.
How?
Sakura didn't know if her legs remembered to walk, after all, she had been laying down for three years. She slowly shuffled to the side, and touched her left leg on the ground. She slowly rolled more until both legs were touching the ground and she was sitting on the bed. Sakura planted her feet firmly on the bedroom floor, and tried to stand up. With the sudden change in position, she felt dizzy and she sat back on the bed right away. Determined not to give up, she got up again, and managed to move. She edged closer to the wall and used it for support.
It took Sakura five minutes to get out of her door, but she felt accomplished. She slowly walked out with her palms putting pressure on the wall. Step by step, Sakura was moving while dragging the IV along. Luckily, no nurses were in sight to drag Sakura back onto her bed. Then she heard a pair of familiar voices.
"When should we tell Sakura?" said a female voice.
"Not now," said a concerned male voice.
"But she has to know sooner or later," the female whined.
"Honey, we are her best friends. She just woke up, and we can't tell her we started to go out. I was her boyfriend, Tomoyo, and I loved Sakura," said the boy.
"How do you think I feel that I have to watch you guys cozy up together in the time being,"said the girl, "I love Sakura too, but this is for the best."
The voices finally reached the corner and the source of the voices met Sakura's eye.
"Sakura," the boy's voice echoed. Sakura came face to face with her old boyfriend and her best friend- Tsuyo Yakashi and Tomoyo Daidouji.
"Hello," said Sakura coldly. They were both holding hands. When Sakura eyed their interlocking fingers, they immediately let go.
"Oh, please do continue," said Sakura, "I would have loved to see a show; I have been so bored, being here for three years."
"Sakura- listen, please here us out," begged Tomoyo.
"You were my best friend, Tomoyo," said Sakura, "Just go."
Sakura felt herself getting weaker. She needed to rest, but she was so angry at the same time. She just found out about her family, and now this. She started to stumble.
"Sakura!" yelled Tsuyo and rushed over to help her.
"Get off of me," yelled Sakura and tried to push him away, and she stumbled on the floor.
"Excuse me, are you harassing my patient?" asked Syaoran, who was down the other side of the hallway and witnessed the whole incident.
"No! I just want to talk," said Tsuyo.
"I think she said go. I am Doctor Syaoran Li, if you have any questions regarding the patient's health, you can ask me, but I think at the moment, Miss Kinomoto here needs to rest," said Syaoran. He helped Sakura up and brought her back in the room.
He turned to face Tsuyo and Tomoyo, "If you aren't here to visit, please don't cause trouble. We don't welcome unfriendly visitors."
With that, Syaoran closed the door on the gaping couple. He felt oddly furious. He was being extra protective around Sakura, again. He didn't want to be biased for a doctor, but he couldn't stand Sakura's situation. His anger for Sakura subsided when he saw her hurt face infront of her "so-called" best friends. He placed Sakura back on the bed. If she had more strength, she would have resisted, but she couldn't.
"Go away" said Sakura icily, "I don't need you here. "
"Miss Kinomoto, if you want to go outside, I will gladly help you myself," said Syaoran patiently, "Please don't go wandering alone. It's dangerous and we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, okay?"
"I don't need your help," said Sakura. She closed her eyes. She hated this doctor. Why won't he leave her alone?
Syaoran breathed in. He had tough patients before who refused his help.
"Miss Kinomoto, would you like me to call a nurse instead? I can tell her you want to go outside and she can take you outside," said Syaoran.
"No. Leave me alone," said Sakura.
Syaoran felt irritated, and left.
The next morning, Syaoran went around checking on his patients. He felt guilty again for not being patient with Sakura. She went through a lot of drama in one day, and he didn't try to help her more. When he stopped outside Sakura's room, he heard another voice.
"Sakura, do you remember who I am?" he asked.
Silence.
"Sakura, I'm Touya's-"he continued, but then Sakura started to cry vehemently. Syaoran rushed in to see what the commotion was about, and he found his coworker and another neurologist, Doctor Tsukishiro Yukito sitting on Sakura's beside.
"Dr. Tsukishiro-san," said Syaoran.
"Dr. Li-san," greeted Yukito.
"Is everything okay," asked Syaoran, glancing at Sakura who was stifling her tears.
"Of course. Sakura, remember me? I'm your brother's best friend. It's Yukito," he smiled at Sakura.
"Yu-ki-to," pronounced Sakura. She tried to think, but she couldn't remember him but found his presence was warm and inviting.
"I went to school with Touya," he continued, and Sakura's eyes glistened at the mention of her brother's name, "He was a very good friend of mine, and I used to watch you for him when he was busy. I'm sorry I couldn't visit you yesterday, I just got back from my trip from Hong Kong."
"Dr. Tsukishiro," said Syaoran, "Can we please speak outside for a moment?"
"I'll be back, okay Sakura?" Yukito said to Sakura and left the room with Syaoran. Sakura just stared at the front wall without responding.
When they were outside Sakura's room, Syaoran spoke up, "I don't think you should keep mentioning Kinomoto's brother to her, she is in a fragile state."
"She needs to recover her memory, Li-kun," said Yukito. This conversation was not simply a doctor to doctor conversation anymore.
"I am her doctor, and I will be in charge of helping her recall her past," said Syaoran.
"I'm just her friend," said Yukito, "I heard you were having some trouble with her yesterday and I came to help."
"Are you sure? Or are you just trying to find my mistakes and use it to your advantage," said Syaoran. Syaoran and Yukito are both top neurologists in the hospital- they both had top marks when entering medical school and training, and they both had performed many successful surgeries. Syaoran couldn't shake off the feeling that Yukito was always catching the flaws of Syaoran.
"How can you think that?" asked Yukito, "We discussed this before. I know Sakura, and if I help her recall something, she would be less cold, less lost."
"I can handle it fine on my own," argued Syaoran.
"This isn't the first time Sakura had gone through shock and memory loss," said Yukito.
"I know. I have seen her record. She was in here when she was five," said Syaoran.
"Then you should know to be more patient with her," continued Yukito, "The record just shows her injury, but do you know how she got it? She was kidnapped and held for ransom when she was that young. Imagine being trapped inside a well for 38 hours with no food. It took her a year for her to be normal again. What happened now, I'm not sure how long it will take for Sakura to fully recover."
Syaoran's mouth hung slightly open.
"Treat her well, Li-san," Yukito patted Syaoran's shoulder and left.
Syaoran, a bit annoyed, went inside Sakura's room and found her sitting upright, head turned, facing an empty glass.
"I'll get you a new glass of water," said Syaoran, and grabbed her cup. He came back five minutes later and handed it to Sakura. She didn't take it, so he placed it on her drawer.
"Kinomoto-san, I will be taking off your neck brace, that way it will be easier when you have your training therapy sessions," said Syaoran.
Silence was his response.
He slowly reached his arms around Sakura's neck and started to detach the brace. Suddenly, he felt a sunken pain in his arms and he realized Sakura was biting him. He ignored it and continued to detach the brace until it got free. When his arms were not around Sakura, her jaw loosened.
He rubbed the mark where Sakura left, but he didn't want to acknowledge the pain.
"Don't touch me," Sakura said. She didn't like how close Syaoran was. She didn't know why, but she felt defensive.
"How do you feel?" asked Syaoran. Again, silence was the response.
"I'm going to call up a nurse to bring you to the hospital training room," he said. He went to find Nurse Arie and instructed her to bring a wheelchair up to Sakura. When they both arrived at Sakura's room, Nurse Arie helped Sakura get in her chair. Syaoran had warned her about trying to not touch Sakura, so the nurse tried to give Sakura as much space as possible. When she wheeled Sakura out, Syaoran noticed that Sakura did drink the glass of water he had brought up.
He smiled to himself. At least it was the start of something.
A/N: What did you think of the first chapter? I'm going to try to take things slowly, and develop the relationship between Sakura and Syaoran slowly and as realistic as I can! Please give me a review so I know what you think!