Title: What About Us?
Rating: K+
Summary: A Post Journey's End songfic to What About Us by John Barrowman. Focuses on the alternate Doctor's thoughts, and how life with Rose is harder than it seemed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or What About Us.
Author's Note: I thought I could avoid it, but I have given in and written a Journey's End fic (I don't really count my fic Journey's End GAMESHOW STYLE!), and an angsty one at that. This is also a songfic, and it's my first in a while, so I hope it's okay.
What About Us?
He'd never expected things to be easy. He was going to have to adjust to a whole new life – one full of work and sleep and chips, of doors and carpets and mortgages. Of all those things that he had avoided for so long.
Guess we've been talking too long
We know what we need
Separately
Despite all this, he thought that having Rose there would make it okay. He had wanted her for so long, and now he could give her the forever she had wanted. It seemed like things had worked out for the best.
But life with her was harder than it seemed.
You say the honeymoon's over
I don't wanna push
But what about us?
The first few weeks, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They were both so desperate to give into their emotions, no matter what the consequences. But soon things got harder. Rose still missed the other Doctor, the real Doctor. He tried to give her time, but he also needed to know where things stood between them. He had been wanting this as well, and that was what she seemed to forget.
It's ringing in my head
It's not what you say
It's what you haven't said
He'd tell her, "I love you", only to received a nod or, "I know" in reply. It broke his single human heart to finally be expressing these emotions, only to be turned down by the only person he ever felt them for.
So what about us?
What about love?
What about saying
That we'll never give up?
He hoped and prayed to a God that he didn't believe in that things would work out. Becoming human was meant to fix all their problems, but instead it only seemed to make things worse. He had always known that love would be complicated, but he didn't realise just how complicated.
Don't wanna blame ya
But we're in danger
So what about us?
Of course it wasn't Rose's fault. She had been through so much over the last few years – not only in the parallel world, but also being sent home, watching as he regenerated, or being left for five and a half hours. But he was so fragile now that he was human, and he needed Rose to comfort him and be there for him. She was meant to make him better, just like she had done before.
Guess we've been trying too hard
We misunderstood
What's good for us
It seemed like they just wanted to make it work, but couldn't. Perhaps they started the relationship too soon, without allowing for time to get to know each other again. After all, they had always remained strictly friends whilst travelling on the TARDIS – albeit friends who wanted each other badly.
I'm tired emotionally inside
Night after night
We fight till we cry
He didn't feel like he could cope. Even little things like forgetting to take the garbage out resulted in a full-blown argument. It all boiled down to the inevitable conclusion that they just didn't fit together.
I don't know what's wrong or right
Is every word you say
What's really on your mind?
He wondered if Rose was still worth it. It wasn't that he didn't love her – he knew he always would – but the constant tension didn't go away. It was made even more frustrating when he'd ask her if she was okay, and she'd reply, "I'm always alright". Those words were like a dagger to his heart.
So what about us?
What about love?
What about saying
That we'll never give up?
They had been through so much together – these petty problems seemed miniscule compared to fighting armies of Daleks and Cybermen. Yet during those times they could always rely on each other – something that didn't seem as likely anymore.
Don't wanna blame ya
But we're in danger
So what about us?
If he couldn't get along with Rose, then how could he cope in this universe without her? She was the only thing familiar to him, the only thing he found comfort in. Without her he would be even more miserable than his Time Lord self – the one who had put them together in the first place.
When we love... we lie
When we talk... we hide
Maybe I'm searching blind
He had never dealt with these emotions before. He hadn't known what to expect, how to react, or how things would work out in the end. There was only hope, and hope was the only thing that kept him going.
I'm worn out
Confused
What are we to you?
He wondered if Rose still saw him as someone to grow old with. Would he be enough for her? Or was it that without the TARDIS, she saw him for who he really was?
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
He felt like he was going crazy, and he decided he had to know the truth. Nervously, he approached her room.
"Rose?" he asked softly. He opened the door.
What about us?
What about love?
What about saying
That we'll never give up?
He found her on her bed, eyes red from crying like they had been for weeks. He sat down next to her. Before she could say anything he told her everything – everything he felt, everything he feared. And she listened.
Don't wanna blame ya
But we're in danger
They just sat for a while, neither saying anything. Then slowly, he edged his hand towards hers. He paused, and felt such relief when her hand touched his own.
So what about us?
What about love?
That's the one thing we never discuss
Looking at Rose now, it was like seeing her in a new light. He had had so much time to consider everything that happened, and despite all the ups and downs, he realised that he was still deeply in love with her, and would do anything to make this work. With his other hand, he slowly reached and stroked her cheek. His hand came to rest, and he leaned in to kiss her.
Don't wanna blame ya
But we're in danger
They kissed each other slowly and softly, not wanting to ruin the moment by going any further. And it was then that he knew that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.
So what about us?
The End
Not much to say, except please review!