Note: One of those by-now horribly dated crossovers mentioned in the last upload, I think this was written in 2006, probably shortly after the third season of The L Word aired. Knocked out purely for my own amusement, I'd wanted to write something quick, light and frothy because a) I was still putting Let It Bleed together and the (perceived) epic-ness was giving me a headache; and b) I felt kind of bad for Tina and I really like writing Well-Meaning!Buffy.
So Gay-ish
Over the wall and Buffy lands on her ass beside a pile of boxes. She mutters a quick expletive before scrambling to her feet and setting off again after her prey. And, for a moment, something about her surroundings strikes her as weirdly off-center, almost dreamlike. Guiltily, Buffy wonders if Willow managed to screw up some aspect of the time travel that sent them two and a bit years into tomorrow to stop an apocalypse due to start the next day. As far as apocalypses go, this one's pretty minor in terms of diabolicalness, but, it's nice to get a decent jump on potential end-of-the-world scenarios at least once in a while.
But, seconds later when she runs head-long against – not through – a narrow alleyway, and lands on her ass again, she realizes she's on a movie lot. Shrugging off the brief flash of awe – a movie lot – she gets up again, circles the huge backdrop in front of her and realizes she's lost the vamp. She dusts herself down and trudges back toward the wall.
"Are you all right?"
"Wha—? Huh?" Buffy spins round and sees a blonde woman in a dark suit standing beside a long trailer, briefcase dangling by her side, her other hand clutching a file to her chest.
The woman tilts her head toward the backdrop, thankfully undamaged as far as Buffy can tell. "You ran into my movie set?"
The inflection makes Buffy wonder if she can turn the woman's apparent non-Canadian-ness and possible Californian-ness into some kind of shared experience that might spare her having to explain, but when absolutely nothing along those lines comes to her, she ditches the idea and says instead: "A purse-snatcher."
"Sorry?" The woman looks slightly startled.
"I was chasing a guy. He tried to steal someone's purse."
The startled look cranks up a notch. "Wow, that's kinda ... brave."
Buffy thinks the woman probably wanted to say 'stupid', but, for whatever reason, changed her mind.
"Well, you see someone grab someone's purse, whatcha gonna do?" Buffy shrugs and grimaces and glances back at the wall, figures she'll give the exchange another thirty seconds tops before just making a run for it.
"And he got away?"
"Looks like it," Buffy says, casting a quick glance around the immediate surrounding area.
"So, are you hurt? You ran straight into—"
"What? Oh, no." Buffy touches the bridge of her nose and smiles wide. "Tough as old boots. You know, stylish old boots."
The woman moves closer and Buffy sees she's smiling too. It's almost a smirk, but not a real smirk. Not like Faith smirks, with a flash of malicious pleasure in her eye. This one's more like the woman just can't help smiling like that. Her eyes are bright and friendly.
"Are you sure?"
Buffy nods firmly. "Yes – very stylish."
The smile quirks into a grin and the woman cocks her head to the side, studies her, like she can't quite believe Buffy's that much of a doofus. Or maybe she just figures she might be Canadian.
"Do you need a ride somewhere? It's kind of late and—"
"No, it's fine, thanks."
But, the woman insists. Plus, thanks to the vamp, Buffy's lost – no idea how far from downtown she might be. So, she finds herself following the woman to her car and, as she opens the passenger door, the woman looks over the roof at her.
"D'you wanna go get a drink or something?" she asks, the smile now less amused and more hopeful than anything. When Buffy hesitates, an only half-joking exasperated puff of breath follows. "It's been a long day."
So Buffy agrees and gets into the car. If she's honest, even before the vamp showed up, she was tired of wandering the streets of Vancouver, feeling alone and irritated. But, she doesn't want to go back to the hotel just yet, and accepting the offer of a drink from a complete stranger who might be from California seems like a reasonable way to spend some avoidance time. Besides, the woman does look like she needs it, and losing track of the stupid vamp has left Buffy with a sense of unfinished helpfulness.
And Buffy's nothing if not helpful.
Watching Faith and Willow neck like teenagers on top of the bed in their room in the Holiday Inn in downtown Vancouver wasn't exactly what Buffy had had in mind when her best friend suggested a 'girls night in' before stopping the apocalypse the next day.
Although, she had to admit, if doing girly stuff was the object, it probably didn't get much more girly than that.
It had started out innocently enough with a foot-rub, which then turned into a foot rub with some scented oil Willow 'just happened' to have in her holdall. Then came tickling and a couple of quick kisses, which somehow escalated into Faith pinning Willow to the bed and leering down at her until Willow agreed that Faith was the sexiest, hottest badass ever. Then came the extended make-out session, complete with contented sighs and a couple of tiny moans and some touching that, even though it was harmless enough – mainly just Faith stroking Willow's upper arm – still managed to appear vaguely obscene, mostly because it was Faith doing it.
The other Slayer had managed to interrupt the smooching long enough to give Buffy one of those extra-wide grins that on anyone else might look cute; on Faith, it was practically an invitation to try and wipe it off.
"Not distracting ya, are we?"
"No, please, go ahead – I'm enjoying the floor show."
Willow wiped the back of her hand across her mouth as she struggled to sit up straight, eyeing Buffy with one of those sorrowful what-do-you-mean-you-don't-like-puppies expressions.
"Sorry, Buff."
Buffy sighed. Great. Now she felt like a big, sarcastic bigot. She might as well have just condemned them to a fiery eternity in hell, or told them it didn't really count unless some creepy guy was there to enjoy it.
"No, smoochies are good, really. Yay for snuggling up with your honey. I was gonna go take a walk or something anyway."
"Are you sure, Buffy?"
"Yeah, those nachos ... walking them off might help the aftertaste go away."
"Checkin' out the 'Couv, B?"
Buffy grimaced a non-verbal reply. Okay, once was fine, twice maybe, but the 'Couv thing was really beginning to grate on her nerves. Ever since their arrival, it had been 'Couv this and 'Couv that. Like Faith couldn't just one time string three whole syllables together?
"We can come with, if you like," offered Willow.
Except Faith's fingers were already toying with the bottom of Willow's shirt and Willow was doing that pretend-squirming thing that Buffy had no doubt was a prelude to more tickling and declarations of hotness and whatever might follow after that.
And a third wheel was still a third wheel when the other wheels were purposely trying not to get wheely with each other on account of the third wheel.
Buffy smiled the biggest not-a-bigot smile she could muster. "It's fine, really. You guys should have some time to yourselves. Big ... well, small apocalypse tomorrow."
"If you say so, B."
As Buffy left, she could hear the bed groan and Willow start to squeal again.
Introductions are made as Tina Kennard drives them to her own hotel where they sit in the bar and order martinis.
Tina shows Buffy a picture of quite possibly the cutest baby ever and Buffy asks if Angelica's father is back in LA with their daughter. That's when Tina tells her about Bette and Buffy thinks she hears a slight hesitancy in Tina's voice that she suspects is par for the course – awkward disclosures, made always with the possibility of rejection or moronic-ness or more awkwardness.
"My best friend's a lesbian!" Buffy blurts out, quietly enough so only the people at the next two tables can hear. She smiles uneasily and pokes at the olive in her martini with her cocktail stick. Inevitably – because she's Buffy – the olive somehow manages to skate up the inside of the glass and lands on the table with a plop. By the time she feels brave enough to look up again, Tina's wearing that 'almost smirky' look once more.
So, she asks Tina about Bette and it turns out that Tina and Bette haven't been getting along so well lately. Eight years and Bette cheats on her with a carpenter. (Buffy doesn't tell Tina that her other best friend is a carpenter, albeit of the other carpenter sex. Right now, that would probably be the opposite of clumsy bonding over best lesbian friends.) Tina also tells her there've been some issues since with Bette never being around when Tina needs her and – the other woman draws a breath – the fact that Tina's not been a very good lesbian lately.
"How come?" Buffy asks.
"I've been thinking about men."
"Which men? I mean, Willow thinks guys can be cute too. A cute guy's a cute guy, right?"
Tina blinks and smiles – like she really does think Buffy's just the most adorably clueless thing ever. "No, thinking about men in a ... non-lesbian way."
"Oh. Well, maybe it's just like that straight-girl thing where, you know, straight girls think about ... other girls sometimes."
Tina raises an eyebrow and Buffy shrugs.
"You know, so I've heard."
Tina tells Buffy that, before Bette, she'd only dated men and she always thought Bette would be the only woman she slept with because a) Tina would never ever cheat, and b) Bette was everything she needed anyway. Then, during their break-up, there was Helena. She likes women – she likes women a lot – and she still likes being a lesbian, but she can't stop thinking about men right now and she doesn't know why.
Buffy silently wonders if there's any parity to be found with her own situation – likes the living, but sometimes inappropriately attracted to the undead.
Tina shakes her head dismissively at her own woes as they order another couple of drinks, and tells Buffy that she wants to hear about her. Like, what's she doing chasing purse-snatchers in Vancouver?
Buffy starts by giving her the usual 'security-type firm, mostly based in Cleveland' story and tells her that they're in Vancouver for a job. Then, before she knows it, she's telling Tina all about Willow and Faith and about the third wheel thing and the 'Couv and how she and Faith don't really get along and she's sure Faith pawing Willow in the hotel room was some sort of dig at her ... probably.
Tina smiles at her with what looks like the kind of sympathy people usually reserve for total nutjobs. "Maybe she just really likes her?"
Buffy sighs. "I know she likes her. More than likes her. It's just ... it's like a bonus if she can piss me off too. Like, she knows Willow better than I do now 'cause with the whole being-her-girlfriend-in-more-than-one-way thing. And I know it sounds petty, but, if you knew Faith, you'd be ... um ... petty about it too."
Tina grins. "Well, maybe being a friend means being petty sometimes."
Buffy agrees with a smile, but reckons it's probably at least six martinis too soon to start spilling Petty-Trying-to-Kill-Each-Other stories. Instead, she hears herself saying:
"I'm sorry about earlier."
Tina looks at her quizzically.
"You know, the ... loudness?"
The other woman offers a don't-worry-about-it shrug. "Almost everyone I know is gay," she says, as if she's trying to reassure ... well, at least one of them.
Buffy wonders if Willow ever wishes her life was more like that – where it's not just her and Faith, then occasionally Kennedy when she's home, and the odd Slayer passing through now and then. A shamefully sentimental sense of longing strikes her as she remembers Angel and Oz and John Cusack and rolling around on the grass underneath that huge, looming tree back at Sunnydale High, breathless with gratitude and love; giving way to a different kind of guilt when she thinks of how easily Faith seemed to fill the space Tara had left and yet, at the same time, make that space bigger and weirder and more complicated somehow.
"Maybe I haven't been gay enough for her," Buffy decides.
The other woman's eyes widen and Buffy feels the beginnings of a blush.
"Oh, I don't mean—I just mean, maybe I should try to make things more gay for her when we're together and ... I'm not really making sense, am I?"
Tina's head nods in disagreement. "I think I know what you mean."
Buffy smiles and sips her drink and wonders at the not-quite irony that she's probably never felt so straight in her life than she does right now – sitting across a table from a cute, blonde lesbian who's contemplating sleeping with men again, wondering how she can be more gay for her best friend.
Just after midnight, Tina mentions something about an early start and Buffy offers to accompany her to her room.
("'Cause, you know, purse-snatchers – not just for dark alleys anymore.")
Tina looks at her for a moment, lips pursed in apparent indecision, then nods and says they can call a cab from the room. So, they ride the elevator six floors up and Tina opens the door and turns on the light and offers Buffy another drink. Buffy doesn't bother reminding her about the 'early start' and, because she knows her limits by now, accepts a glass of soda water.
While they sit on the couch, Tina admires Buffy's earrings then tells her about the first time she met Bette. Buffy thinks the story's cute – totally not lame – and Tina looks pleased.
When Tina's side of the conversation comes to a halt, Buffy almost starts to tell her something else she's just remembered, this time about Faith's behavior on the flight to Vancouver. But, she realizes that really would sound petty and so doesn't say anything; besides, filling Willow's crossword puzzle with obscene words while Willow was sleeping had been kind of funny in a gross sort of way.
When the silence reaches almost-suffocation point, Tina smiles and gives Buffy a little shrug and Buffy does the same. And, when Tina moves closer, Buffy stays put. And when Tina starts to lean in, Buffy doesn't freak out. Instead, she clears her throat and says:
"I've never done this before, so you're gonna have to be patient with me ..."
She ignores the pounding inside her chest and with a deep breath, stands up – Tina's a good few inches taller than she is, so standing up now might somehow spare that potential awkwardness – and starts to unbutton her jeans, squinting down at the fastening as she tugs it free. She hears herself still talking, babbling even:
"... I mean, I'm pretty sure I can figure most of it out. How hard can it be, right? But, there might be a few things I don't get straight away, though I'm a pretty fast learner when it comes to—"
Buffy looks up and sees Tina staring back at her with something far beyond just the 'adorably clueless' expression on her face. Instead, her shoulders are shaking and she's grinning and biting her lip so hard, Buffy's afraid she might break the skin.
"Am I doing it wrong already?"
Tina exhales a soft, good-natured sigh. "I wasn't gonna ... I mean, you don't have to do anything." She pats the seat beside her. "Here ... come here."
Buffy quickly re-fastens her jeans and does as she's told – not unaware of the novelty of being on the receiving end of a blonde woman giving orders. She sits still, hands clutching the edge of the couch, as if she might fall off.
Tina leans close then and kisses her.
It's soft – like Buffy expects – but, not too soft, which is a surprise. Strangely, the taste of martini on the other woman's tongue catches her unawares too, but, she puts that particular twist down to her admittedly limited girl-on-girl fantasies having involved kisses that were somehow darker and more bitter.
Buffy smiles as the other woman pulls away.
"There," says Tina. "A little more gay now."
Except she looks so sad, Buffy wonders if she should just insist they have sex anyway. She wants Tina to feel less guilty about the guy-thing and not feel like she's betraying The Sisterhood or whatever, and maybe having sex with a woman who does brave, stupid things like chase purse-snatchers and whose best friend is a lesbian might make her feel better. Besides, if Buffy's ever going to have sex with a woman, it should probably be with someone cute and nice who won't laugh at her in a horrible way if she does something stupid.
But, she says nothing as Tina stands up and goes to the phone and calls to have a cab arrive at the front door in ten minutes.
As she rides the elevator down to the lobby, she thinks she made the right decision.
Plus, if she is ever going to have sex with a woman, it probably shouldn't be something that, by the time they get home, kind of hasn't happened yet.
That would be weird. And far too un-gay for her now.
Willow's been asleep more or less since takeoff, with strict instructions not to wake her unless an engine cuts out or the wings fall off or some similar disaster strikes. It's reassuring to have a super-powerful witch at 30,000 feet who can save them all if the worst happens, although it kind of sucks that this extra-special safety feature doesn't automatically entitle them to a free upgrade.
"Tea? Coffee? Juice?"
Buffy squints past Willow and Faith in the seats beside her and studies the cart, performing a quick survey of potential brand-indicated goodness or otherwise. Whatever. Until Starbucks inevitably decides to set up shop – perhaps there's a spare square inch beside the emergency exit – there's no point being too picky.
Her voice comes out a little uncertain nonetheless. "Coffee?"
"Nothing, thanks," says Faith.
The flight attendant glances only briefly at the sleeping woman between them, head settled comfortably against Faith's shoulder, hand resting on her thigh. Buffy remembers the other night, returning to the hotel and looking in at the slumbering figures on the bed in the adjoining room, hard to tell one shadowy entangled limb from another, they lay so close.
Buffy takes her drink and the cart trundles along the aisle to its next stop. Faith tilts her head and gazes down the narrow walkway.
Buffy watches for a moment. "Are you checking out that woman's butt?"
Faith straightens up again and grins at her. "No way – that's Will's deal." With a quiet chuckle, she points a thumb at her girlfriend. "Man, did you see her with that chick earlier? Excuse me, can you show me how to store my laptop, 'cause I'm just a cute, helpless lesbo? Shoulda just asked her to sit on her lap-top."
Buffy wants to frown, but finds herself grinning back instead. "Think she'd have taken her up on it?"
Faith shrugs her free shoulder. "I would," she says, so ingenuous, the weird logic of it doesn't seem to have occurred to her for even a second.
Buffy smiles and stirs her drink. She thinks about Tina – right now two and a bit years younger in LA – and the revelations and questions to come about Bette and Helena and maybe about men. As far as the whole Willow-and-Faith-and-the-third-wheel thing goes, things could be a lot more complicated and, when it comes down to it, the fact that Faith more than likes Willow isn't very complicated at all.
The other Slayer looks at her and Buffy sees that smirk.
"What?" Buffy asks.
Faith raises an eyebrow. "Would you?"
Buffy pauses, fighting to keep her own self-satisfied expression at bay. She smiles sweetly instead – cavity inducing – and says:
"Willow's my best friend, Faith."
Basking in the curious expression she receives in reply, Buffy sits back and glances at the woman in the seat next to her, sees the corner of Willow's mouth twitch up a fraction.
Well, not too complicated.