Never Stop
I wanted to die. That was all I thought of. I could not survive this. And as he finally stood and gave me a sick grin I felt sheer horror at what had just happened. I had loved him and he did this? How could he hurt me this way? He said he loved me but then how could he cause me such pain for his own pleasure? With a wink that made my stomach turn, he jumped out of the window.
Before a minute had passed, I heard the sound of a door slamming into a wall somewhere below me. Alice had seen it, and apparently Edward wasn't happy. I felt cold when I thought of him – would he be disappointed? Mad, even? Would he still, want me? I felt myself shrivel up inside as I considered that. He burst through the door then, looking like a ball of fury and rage. I saw a tiny spark of hope leave his eyes when he saw I was alone – he had thought just maybe he'd get here in time. As his eyes met mine I started to cry. I was so ashamed; I didn't want him to see me. I wrapped my arms around my knees and covered my face as I sobbed. I was a mess and he would be disgusted. As I lay there, naked, stained with my own blood, my own tears, and the things that came from... him... I expected him to turn away, to leave the filthy, spoiled thing before him. I jumped when I felt his stone cold arms around me. "Oh Bella, my love, I am so, so, sorry", he whispered to me. His tone was heartbreaking, it was full of pain. He pulled me to his chest and I was so grateful for the icy feeling. It was the complete opposite of the smothering heat I had just endured from Jacob. It felt like it could heal the pain of the memories fresh in my mind.
"What," I swallowed against the croakiness in my voice. "What are you, going to do?" I finally managed. I needed to know if he would leave me. I needed to know now, before I began to hope. I knew he was the only one who could possibly bring me through this, and I had to know if he would stay and do so. As I asked, his eyes filled with hatred. "I want so badly to kill him, slowly and painfully, he deserves that a million times over... but..." here his eyes filled with sorrow, "but I know how forgiving you are," his eyes fell to the floor in shame, "even when people don't deserve it. So I will try my best not to kill him, if that's what you want." I closed my eyes. That wasn't what I meant. "But do you still, want me?" my voice faded to a whisper on the last two words. The room was silent and I was afraid to open my eyes. His arms had frozen around me and I didn't know what to think. "Oh Bella!" he whispered eventually. "Oh God Bella how could you think that? Bella please tell me what I have to do to convince you! I love you so much it kills me to be away from you! I will never stop loving you, never stop wanting you. My love, please never think that." He was shaking his head as he clung tighter to me. My heart had lifted slightly at his words. "So, you won't, leave me?" I was so quiet I wouldn't have heard myself. He was shocked at my questions. "Bella, I will not leave your side until the day when, if ever, you order me to. Did you think this could change how I feel about you?" I looked down at myself, at the disgusting cuts, bruises and stains that may never fade, and I suddenly realised he hadn't reacted to my blood. He saw my gaze and pulled my eyes up to meet his. "You are so beautiful Bella; I've never meant it more."
Finally, my tears began to spill and I buried myself in his chest. He began to rock back and forth, holding me and humming my lullaby. As the tune ended he whispered comforting words into my ear. The last were, "We'll make it through this, Bella, WE. I will be with you the whole way, I promise. I'll never leave you alone. I love you."